Tempting Torment (The McClellans Series, Book 3) Author's Cut Edition

by Jo Goodman

  "He's a rogue."

  "A discerning one." He frowned slightly. "Did we overtire you, Jessa? James seemed to think we had."

  "Not at all. I knew you were anxious to discuss strategies for tomorrow's debate. I felt I should allow you the opportunity to do so."

  "That's what I told them. Now I'm wondering if that's true. Of late you seem tired."

  "It's the heat. I'm still finding it difficult to adjust. England is never so hot as this."

  Noah's brows drew together thoughtfully. His eyes glanced over Jessa's face, the serene purity of her features. "Is there something you're not telling me, Jessa? Something... I don't know?..."

  Jessa took pity on him because he looked at once anxious and hopeful. These were not the surroundings in which she had planned to tell him. She had envisioned a romantic dinner or perhaps a return to their picnicking spot. She had definitely not foreseen the possibility that he would be slumped in the rocker, his long legs stretched in front of him, his beautiful face drawn equally with fatigue and concern. "You're bent on spoiling my surprise, you terrible man."

  Noah rose from the chair and sat on the edge of the bed. "Surprise?"

  "Yes, my surprise. Though it shouldn't be one as often as we've... well, you take my meaning."

  "You can be irritatingly indirect at times, Jessa. Can you explain yourself more clearly?"

  She folded her fan and tapped him on the back of his wrist with it. "You know very well what I'm saying. I'm going to have your child, Noah."

  Noah blinked. "Do you mean it?" he asked, his voice not much above a whisper.

  Snapping open her fan, Jessa waved it in front of his face a few times. "Of course I mean it. Has the heat addled your senses?" She laughed when he growled playfully, grabbed the fan, and tossed it aside. Taking her delicate wrists in his, he drew her close. "Aaah," she said wisely, her lips a mere moment from his. "I see you do believe me."

  Noah kissed her, reverently at first, then with deep adoring passion. "How long have you known?" he asked, his hands framing her face. Her pale gray eyes reflected color from the candlelight as she held his gaze.

  "Only a few days. I wanted to be certain before I told you."

  "And you are? Certain, that is?"

  "Very certain. I visited Dr. Markum this morning. He was quite happy to tell me that my fatigue, weepy moods, and upset stomach had a reasonable explanation."

  "You've had morning sickness, then?"

  "No. In the afternoon. Dr. Markum assured me it is as normal as the other."

  "I hadn't noticed you being particularly weepy."

  "That's because I've done most of my crying when you were gone from the house. It's really the most annoying thing, Noah. It happens with almost no warning, aggravated by the merest trifling occurrences. I think Mrs. Harper suspects my condition, though she has refrained from saying anything."

  "How many weeks are you?"

  "I make it to be ten."

  Noah digested that information. His eyes dropped to her abdomen to see if he could make out any swelling. He grinned happily as Jessa divined his thoughts and drew his hands to her belly. "You're still flat," he said, vaguely disappointed.

  "Give us time," she laughed. "And enjoy it while you can. I'll be as big as a cow before long."

  "Hardly," he scoffed. "Are you pleased about the baby, Jessa?"

  "Yes. Very much. And you?"

  "I think it's wonderful."

  Jessa squeezed his hand, her eyes anxious. "This child won't make a difference, will it?"

  "A difference? In what way?"

  "In the way you feel about Gideon." Almost immediately Jessa realized her doubts had hurt Noah. "I'm sorry. I know that you love him. I just don't want that to change when we have children of our own."

  "Gideon is our child," said Noah. "I don't anticipate loving him any less, and I can't imagine how I could love him more than I already do. All my life I shall be in his debt."

  Jessa's head tilted to one side. "What debt?"

  "He's responsible for bringing us together."

  She laughed. "And all this time I was thanking the horse that came up lame on your way to Stanhope."

  He tasted the laughter on her lips. "Him, too." He kissed her again, this time sliding his arms around her.

  "Noah?"

  "Hmmm?"

  "It's too hot."

  Noah drew back. "What's that again?"

  Jessa groped among the covers for her fan. She opened it and began fanning herself. "I'm miserably uncomfortable. If you could propose a way to make love without touching, I'd be happy to participate. Before you came in I was daydreaming about thundershowers and blizzards and was giving serious consideration to throwing myself in the river."

  Noah plucked at his shirt, which was clinging damply to his chest. "Point taken." He took the fan from her. "Lean back. That's good. Raise your chin a notch." He was tempted to kiss her exposed throat. Instead he fanned it. "Better?"

  Jessa closed her eyes. "Wonderful," she sighed.

  "You know, the river's not a bad idea. What do you think of a midnight swim?"

  "It's well after midnight."

  "Don't quibble with details. We can take the carriage."

  "We'd have to wake Henry to get it from the stable, then we'd have to tell Mrs. Harper or Cam that we're leaving so one of them can listen for Gideon in the event he wakes. I think we should simply stay here and you should fan me forever. Or at least until I fall asleep."

  He dropped a kiss on the curve of her shoulder. When he drew back Jessa had roused enough energy to open one eye, raise one brow, and manage a credibly suspicious look. "Sorry," he said with absolutely no remorse. "I couldn't resist You look delicious."

  "You're ridiculous." Still, she felt pleased.

  "Here," he said. "Take the fan. I've been inspired." He jumped off the bed.

  "Where are you going?" she asked when he opened the door.

  "I'll be back."

  "But that wasn't..." Noah disappeared into the hallway. "...what I asked," she finished lamely.

  Noah returned ten minutes later awkwardly toting four buckets. Water sloshed on the floor as he carried them into the dressing room. "One more trip," he said, stopping her question. The second trip took less time. He filled the copper tub in the dressing room, lighted all the available candles, then scooped Jessa up from the bed and carried her in. "Madam's bath," he said grandly setting her on her feet. "Cool water, I may add. "

  Jessa dipped her toes in the tub. "Cold water," she corrected him.

  "Too cold?"

  She shook her head, raising the hem of her shift and stepping into the tub. "I can get used to this."

  "Good." Noah stripped off his shirt and loosened his breeches and drawers.

  "Noah! What are you—But there's no room for—"

  Noah braced his spine against the sloping back of the tub and his legs against either side. Jessa sat facing him, knees drawn toward her chest. She could feel Noah's toes wiggling beneath her buttocks.

  "You were saying?" he asked pleasantly.

  "It appears I was wrong." Her voice was dry. "We've room enough for guests if we want them." She flicked water at him. "Stop that!"

  "What?" He nudged her with his toes again.

  "That! How would you feel if I did that to you?"

  "Tickled?"

  Pursing her lips, Jessa tried to look stern. The effort was wasted on Noah. He merely grinned at her, his expression boyish and sly. Jessa took the washcloth that was folded over the edge of the tub and dipped it in the water. She raised her face, squeezing droplets of water on her neck and shoulders.

  "I think the baby's made your breasts larger," Noah said conversationally.

  Jessa was tempted to throw the washcloth at him, but she was afraid that's what he wanted. She'd have to fight to get it back. "Oh? How can you tell?" Her knees were modestly covering her chest.

  "They're spilling over."

  Jessa glanced down at herself. Her breasts were
indeed curved above the rounded caps of her knees. "So they are. But that's not because of the baby. That's because you have me squeezed in this tub the way fish are packed in a barrel."

  "Are you that uncomfortable?" he asked, concerned. He put his hands on either side of the tub and started to rise.

  "Sit down!" she laughed. "I'm just fine."

  Jessa eased her legs forward a bit and leaned toward Noah. She wiped his forehead, cheeks, and throat with the damp cloth. "You're not sorry we didn't go to the river?"

  "Flexibility is one of my virtues."

  Pausing, Jessa looked at the manner in which Noah was folded in the tub. "It certainly is."

  He peeked at her through his lashes and saw she was admiring his form. "I was speaking of flexibility of thought," he said, closing his eyes quickly when she glanced at him. "Not of body." The temperature of the water did nothing to stop the heat that was uncurling inside him. If Jessa's hands dipped a fraction lower from where they rested on his thighs, she was bound to notice. He nearly came out of his skin as she dragged the washcloth over the inside of his leg to his knee.

  "Yes," she said thoughtfully. "I realize that now. Your body is not as flexible as it first appeared. In fact... parts of it are, umm, quite rigid." One hand slid under the water. Delicately her fingers curled around him. "You don't suppose that we could... umm, you know... here in the water?"

  Noah's response was a slow, lazy smile. "Umm, you know? You're phrasing lacks much in the way of clarity. Strive to be less ambiguous, please."

  Jessa rearranged herself in the tub so she was sitting on her knees between his parted legs. She placed her hands on his shoulders, bent forward, and whispered in his ear.

  Noah's brows shot up, his eyes opened wide. "Jessa!"

  "You wanted clarity," she said defensively, flushing deeply.

  "Well, I certainly got it. And to think you want all that here in the tub. It quite boggles the mind. The logistics alone would require weeks of planning." "Fool," she said, shutting him up by kissing him soundly. "Take me to bed."

  "Happily."

  They didn't make it that far. Jessa's water slick body rubbed against him invitingly as he helped her out of the tub. Without a word passing between them they unanimously decided the dressing room floor would serve as well as any bed.

  Noah's body cushioned Jessa as she spread kisses over his face and throat, loving the salty-sweet taste of his skin. Her tongue flicked at droplets of water on his neck. Her fingers teased his flat nipples into hardness. The palm of her hand was filled with his heartbeat.

  She was not neglected while she touched him. Noah stroked her skin, raising sparks of heat along Jessa's spine. His fingers pressed the dimples at the small of her back and she wriggled against him. Their legs tangled, rubbed. The contrast in textures, the friction, was delightful.

  Jessa sat up, straddling Noah's waist. The backs of his fingers lightly caressed her breasts. Her hair fell over her shoulders, mingling with his fingers.

  "Do you remember that dream you once had?" she asked, dipping her head quickly to place a fleeting kiss on his mouth. "The one about us?"

  "I've had a lot of dreams about us."

  "Have you? How nice." She kissed him again. "But I'm talking about the one where we were making love like this. The one you had when you were healing from your wound."

  "Aah. That one. I remember it vividly."

  "There's good reason for that," she said, shifting her body lower. She gasped as Noah turned suddenly so that she was under him. His lips worried the tip of each breast in turn, making her nipples pearl-hard and achingly sensitive. Jessa nearly forgot what she had been saying. "It really happened," she managed to get out just as Noah's teeth tugged gently.

  Noah looked up, bracing himself on his forearms. "What?"

  "It really happened."

  "That's not possible. The first time we made love was on the Clarion."

  Jessa wound her arms around Noah's neck. She pulled him close, kissing him deeply. "Mmmm. It was." He kissed her temples, her cheeks, pressed his mouth to the soft spot directly behind her lobe. "But the first time I was with you like this—naked as the day, I mean—was in Mary's cottage. I pretended that we were lovers for the benefit of the sergeant who was searching for the highwaymen."

  "You did?" he murmured, raising his head. "How enterprising of you." He fanned out her hair with his fingers. "And what did I do while you were taking advantage of me?"

  "Nothing," she said cheekily. "You just lay there. Still, you were very convincing." She tilted her head to one side and rubbed her cheek against Noah's hand. "The sergeant thought Mary's cottage was a trysting place and that I was a great lady conducting an illicit affair with my virile gardener."

  "Groom."

  "What?"

  "If I had to be your, er virile anything, I should much prefer to have been your groom. Snipping hedgerows and plucking posies doesn't bring to mind an image of robust manhood." He moved slightly so that she could feel his hardness against her belly. "Anyway, you were riding me then. Just the sort of thing a grand lady would do to her groom."

  "I... umm... take your meaning."

  "Like that, do you?"

  "I'd like it better if you were inside me."

  "Your servant, ma'am." Noah kissed her. Once. Twice. She moved impatiently beneath him, her thighs parting for his entry. Noah teased her, entering her slowly, testing her control as well as his own. Jessa didn't seem to care that she lost. She raised her hips, taking him fully into her, and wrapped her legs around him.

  "Have a care to please your lady," she said huskily as Noah began to move.

  He did. Noah drew out their pleasure just this side of forever. The hot night air lay like a blanket on their bodies, but it was nothing compared to the shimmering heat that passed between them. Her hands caressed his back, and the pads of her fingertips pressed into his shoulders. Her body moved with him in rhythms as ancient and natural as the ebb and flow of tide. The shape of their world changed so that they alone existed. They did not hear the town crier announcing the hour, nor the clatter of a carriage on the cobblestones below their window. There was nothing or no one who mattered beyond the moment. Their souls were filled, their bodies embraced the loving in their hearts.

  Noah held himself back until Jessa shuddered beneath him. He tasted his name on her lips as she cried out then he joined her, whispering the words that gave meaning to the pleasure they shared.

  "I love you," she echoed softly, her eyes shining.

  Noah eased himself off her and turned on his side. One leg still held her possessively. "I take it milady was well pleased."

  She laughed shyly. "Yes. But that isn't why I love you. "

  "I know," he husked, bending his head to nuzzle her neck. "But it's awfully nice, isn't it?"

  "Wonderfully nice," she sighed. "I barely noticed the floor."

  "Praise indeed." He caressed her hip. "Come on, back to bed." He sat up and pulled her up as well. "Think you can sleep now?"

  "For days."

  Noah got to his feet and held out his hands to Jessa. When she took them he helped her up with a quick movement that brought her flush against his body. "Your breasts are larger," he teased, scooping her up in his arms.

  "Noah! I can walk!"

  "I know. But why should you when I enjoy this so much?" He dropped her on the bed and was instantly contrite as she groaned and rolled away, rubbing her bottom. "I didn't hurt you, did I? I forgot about the babe."

  "Idiot The babe's fine. It's my posterior that's been sorely abused."

  Relieved, Noah padded back to the dressing room and snuffed out the candles. When he returned to the bed Jessa was already under the thin sheet. She held it up for him. He slid in beside her, not too close because the heat was oppressive again. "It would have been worse in the tub," he told her. "You'd ache all over."

  Jessa yawned. "Yes, but so would you."

  Chuckling, Noah turned back the bedside lamp. "Good night, Jessa."<
br />
  "G'night."

  * * *

  Jessa's soft-edged rosy world lasted until dinner the following evening. Gideon had already eaten by the time Noah returned home, so Jessa and Noah had the dining room to themselves. A basket of fresh flowers claimed the center of the table. Their fragrance was appealing, yet elusive. Mrs. Harper had taken care to set places for Noah and Jessa at the same end of the table. She breezed in and out of the room, her eyes sparkling as she served up their dinner.

  Noah looked at Jessa over the rim of his wineglass. "Whatever has set Mrs. Harper in this mood?" he asked. "She's been smiling at me since I walked in the door. I think she was humming when she left."

  "She thinks you're a wonderful man." Jessa raised her glass to his and touched it lightly. "So do I."

  Noah felt his smile fading. "You told her about the child, didn't you?" His voice was not as casual as he hoped it would be.

  Jessa's eyes clouded with confusion. "I didn't know it was meant to be a secret. I told you I thought she suspected. I simply confirmed it."

  He set his glass down. "I wish you hadn't." He picked up his knife and fork and attacked the thin slices of rare roast beef on his plate. "Who else knows?"

  "Sally. Henry. I told Cam this afternoon. I wrote to your mother but I haven't posted the letter yet. Why don't you want anyone to know? Are you ashamed?"

  "That, perhaps, is the most ridiculous thing you've ever asked me. Of course I'm not ashamed. In other circumstances I'd have the town crier announce it to Philadelphia at large."

  Jessa frowned. "What circumstances prevent you from doing that now?"

  "Hilary," he said tersely. "I don't want her to know."

  Jessa didn't understand, but she accepted it. "All right. I won't tell her. Not that I was thinking of it in the first place. Hilary crosses to the other side of the street if she sees me coming."

  In Jessa's collection of summer memories Hilary Bowen was the single person Jessa wished she could forget. Most days she did not think at all of Hilary, then she would see her unexpectedly on the street or in a passing carriage, and Jessa would scarcely be able to think of anything else. Hilary had not honored Noah's wishes not to use Jessa and Gideon to salvage her own pride. She was not only a vicious gossip, she was a subtle one, telling her lies as if they were merely unfortunate slips of the tongue. She let it be known that Gideon was a bastard and Jessa had required a name for her child. She managed to leave the impression that Jessa had schemed to be alone with Noah so it might appear she had been compromised. The marriage was a forced one. She also told the tale of how Noah, upon his arrival home, had confided all and begged her to be his mistress. A shocking proposition, she said, and one which she unequivocally refused.