"Yes, Sir." Oh lordy, I wish I could think straight. Now he'll think he's got me where he wants me. Not even to herself was Ava prepared to admit he had.
"Good girl. See it comes naturally to you. Now lift your skirt up. Let it rest over your curls for now. Show me the trust we need."
She could do that. Ava took the hem of her dress and rearranged it over the very top of her thighs. Her legs clenched the side of the bench so hard that if she wasn't careful she'd have the grain of the leather imprinted on them.
"It won't run away you know. The bench. You don't need to hold onto it so tightly. Nothing will happen that you don't want to. Now, what do you know of safe words, Ava?"
Ava thought for a moment, as she tried to relax the muscles in her upper legs and release the bench from its three falls and a submission stranglehold.
"Right." She gathered her wits. "Um, safe words. Well, it depends on the people what you use but it's stop for good, stop for now or slow down, and carry on. But you don't keep saying stop or hold on, you have special words. Oh and some people have a ‘it's not really stop for good but it's lets discuss it and then decide’ word as well. It all sounds a bit confusing to me." Oh lord, verbal diarrhea again. Her voice trailed to a stop, and she bit her lip.
"Not bad, so stop mangling your pretty mouth. What are we going to have for our safe words?"
"Um aren't you supposed to tell me?" Ava said cautiously. "Like cos you’re the Sir person."
"It’s a partnership we're entering into, love. Not a dictatorship. We decide. We." He emphasized. "And I promise if we go ahead, your stop for good, will be stop to discuss and decide if it's for good. I think we'll traffic light. Red, orange, green. Red, stop for now and we'll talk about it when your happy. Orange slow down and decide how we proceed, and green for good and let's go on. Okay?"
"Well it would be if I knew what the hell I was directing the traffic for."
****
He knew she'd ask, in fact Ryan was amazed she hadn't put that question to him earlier, but he guessed she'd been too flummoxed to really think about the circumstance she might be there for.
"Our relationship. Your chance to end your drought, and discover yourself. For me to let you find out your inner secrets and desires and push you that bit further. Jane said, and she said I could tell you, that the thought of Shibari ropes excited you. I'm a Shibari Master, among other things. It's my heart's desire, my joy, my completion if you like, to see someone I want and respect tied up for me, by me. In a design I've made solely for them. My cock is rigid thinking about how I'd dress you." He brushed his fingers across his leathers and her eyes widened, as his dick visibly grew under his hand. "Do you want to feel?" Ryan lifted her limp hand and rested it over his covered cock. Her fingers tightened, and a surge of heat filled him. If he could, he'd fist the air and shout ‘yee haa!’
"Color, Ava." He rapped out the words; it was time to assert his authority.
"Eh? Oh shoot, green Sir. Um do I have to call you Sir?"
"Yes." He spoke in a clipped manner. "And you do not speak now unless I ask you a direct question. Do you understand? If you don't or you're not happy, remember your words."
"Oh well okay, er, yes Sir."
Well she was almost there.
"Yes Sir will do." Ryan was enjoying himself; this training was going to be more fun than usual. "We'll start with something very simple, Ava. Do you trust me?"
Her eyes clouded over, and his skin crawled. If she couldn't take that tiny step, they were doomed. She rubbed her fingers together.
"Up to a point, Sir."
Better than nothing. Ryan nodded.
"Do you have any limits we need to discuss, soft or hard? Things you're okay with and things you won't go near." She looked bewildered, as well she might.
He didn't speak, but straddled the bench to face her, and one by one untied the sexy little ribbons that held her dress up. Ava's eyes widened and she clutched the material over her breasts.
"Ava, loosen the dress, there's no need for the death grip, you have a safe word, and if it's not green then heaven help us." He hoped he didn't sound as exasperated as he felt, but by god it was like pulling teeth. Someone must have done a real number on her. Jane hadn't said much about Ava's late husband except that Ava wouldn't talk about hm. Maybe he needed to rectify that. Ryan said nothing else but looked Ava in the eye. He could see the fight she had with herself once more, before she moved her hands to grip the bench. The top of her dress slid down her breast to catch on her nipples. The relief in her was obvious. He couldn't have that.
"Very fetching, love, but no need to hide those gorgeous breasts." Ryan stroked the soft skin at the top of each full globe. He flicked his fingers under the flimsy material covering them, and pinched the skin in a series of tiny nips, before he took a tight grip on the cloth and pulled down sharply. Her moan of arousal shot straight to his cock, which strained ever harder against its confines. The dress slipped downward, her knuckles were white on the bench, and her soft creamy-skinned breasts were bared to his view.
"Color, love?" He circled each nipple and ignored the soft sound she made. It was a cross between a moan and a groan, and he had no intention of analyzing it.
"G … green."
"Good girl. If at any time, you're not comfortable say so. I'll not be asking every two minutes at this level. I expect you to tell me." The little wriggle she gave, the sound of wet pussy on smooth leather, made his balls contract.
"Yes, Sir, and can I ask Sir, what do you mean at this level?" Her voice wavered and came back strongly. "And what are soft and hard limits? Will you tell me what you, er we, are going to do?"
"Of course, love, I wondered if you cared enough to ask. I'm going to tie you, spank you and scribe you. And you'll love it."
Chapter Three
Ava's mouth was dry as she processed just what his words meant. How had he tapped into her innermost desires and fears? But love it? Hmm worry it and accept it maybe…
"Yes Sir." Even to her ears, the words sounded false. The sharp pinch on her nipple made her jump.
"Honesty, Ava," he reminded her. "At all times. Limits within those scenarios?"
Honesty she could deal with, but not if she wasn't to speak. Limits she couldn't focus on. Surely this was all very low key? She was fine with that, but… However, Ryan seemed to understand her need to query.
"Tell me."
"How do you know?" she blurted out. "I don't know what my limits in this stuff are. I might hate it or be freaked or…"
"Hold on. Dammit, Ava, just slow down and chill. I can read you. You give out shows and tells. Right now, you're excited and scared by it. I'm going to change the scared bit of that or we'll get nowhere. If you think you're at your limit, say Red. We'll go into further details another time. Take off your dress and lie flat on the mat. Lie on your stomach. And don't argue. Just do it or cry Red."
He watched her like she was an insect under a microscope. The impersonal perusal got her back up. She was more than some silly teenager who wanted him to interact with him just because she'd heard stories. But are you really? You're not giving him any encouragement. He's no idea why you're so arsy about all this. You haven't told him or Jane, so why should he know why you're shit scared?
"Yes Sir, and orange." Ava stood up and her dress slid down her body to pool on the bench. She lifted her feet over it, and forced herself not to cover her mound.
"Why orange? We've not done anything yet. And yes speak and tell me."
"I'm naked you're not. I'm on show, you're not, and I have no idea what's going to really happen and you do. So orange until I'm comfortable."
"Not going to happen, love. Comfortable is not what I'm aiming for. You need to be aware, alive, and aroused. Comfortable is an old sofa." He sounded amused and disgusted, not two emotions Ava thought went together. "Now get on the mat, give up, or tell me why you're so bloody contrary. Your choice."
Okay, so maybe she needed to. She took a deep b
reath, and concentrated on keeping her voice steady.
"My late husband was Gavin Deniff." She saw the understanding in his eyes. "Yeah, the guy due to go to court for prostitution, torture, and illegally controlling women. The guy―I thought―just had a pervy attitude I couldn't understand. The guy who stopped sleeping with me—luckily—cos I wouldn't do what he wanted. The guy who committed suicide and left me a letter saying it was all my fault. That if I'd been more accommodating, none of it would have happened. That guy. So forgive me if I'm somewhat underwhelmed about what you suggest. Yes, my pussy is eager, but sadly my mind keeps overruling it."
She turned round and walked to the mat, knelt down and stretched on her tummy. It was thicker and softer than it looked and both supported and cocooned her.
Let's get it over and done with, let me see it's so not for me and I can go home.
"Are you sure?" Ryan had approached her and she hadn't heard him. "We don't have to."
"We do, Sir. I need to exchange my nightmares for my enjoyment. Or at least sort out which is which. So it's orange, proceed with caution I reckon. Is that mauve do you think?"
A tap to her left butt cheek made her giggle. It tickled. The spank on the right hand side was sharper, harder and stung, but in a good way. Ava felt the tingle that ran through her like a clarion of jubilant bells. It was good. A touch of eroticism, a hint of deep desire, and her body sang. Maybe this was it. The start of a new set of ideas for pleasure.
The third spank had her arching upward, whether into or away from his touch she couldn't be sure.
"Color, Ava?" Did his voice sound strained? She had no idea because she was beginning to float.
"Ava." A sharp tap made her jump. "Color or I stop."
"Green and get on with it ... Sir."
The tattoo of taps alternating in time and depth, made her body sing. She craved more, something indefinable that hovered out of reach.
"Sassy, I warned you. Roll over."
Her mind was foggy, but Ava did as he asked. The feel of the mat on her tender bum made her wince. Of course, he noticed.
"Sore?"
"A wee bit, Sir, but in a sort of nice way."
He nodded and took the thong from his hair. "So be it, as long as you remember your safe word and use it we'll carry on. Later I'll sooth you. But if you're okay…?"
"Yes Sir. I'm fine." And she was, Ava realized. She felt more alive than ever.
"Good girl. Sit up."
Dammit I wish he'd make his mind up, I'm getting dizzy with all this up down over round stuff.
Ava sat up and waited for his next order. To her surprise, she was enjoying the lack of information, and his total focus on her. That was something new to her.
"Hands behind your back." He took the leather thong from his hair and ran it through his fingers. It was enough to make Ava's breath hitch, as she did as he told her.
"Ava, you’re a natural, and I'm proud. Would you do this for me in public?"
That shook her.
"Red and no never. This is good and yes, I'm enjoying myself so far, but show this overweight flabby saggy body off to anyone else? Not in a million years."
He sighed. "We need to work on that inferiority complex, love. Your body is none of that. It's luscious, gorgeous and perfectly proportioned. Never forget it. So are you ready to be dressed?"
"Dressed, Sir?"
He ran his hand up her arm. The shiver his touch created was so delicious her juices coated her thighs.
"Come," Ryan took her hand and she let him pull her to her feet. "Stand here, arms out and your legs about a foot wide. Think starfish." The analogy made her snigger. A starfish was so not what she wanted to be, but she got the idea, and moved to the position he'd asked. Ava realized she'd not thought of her state of undress for ages. Here with Ryan it felt natural to be naked. Never before had she been happy to be bare in front of someone. Gavin had ridiculed her body so often Ava had kept herself covered up on every occasion.
She watched as he lifted the coil of rope and carefully found the middle.
"This is a medium length rope, love. It will do a nice short pattern and give you an idea of what I like. Remember I'll stop or slow at any time. This is fun, not a gynae exam."
The thought of Ryan comparing his handiwork to a gynae exam made her laugh. Mindful of his earlier words she didn't reply and his lips quirked. "Well done. Right, now watch in the mirror." He centered the rope at the nape of her neck and swiftly tied a knot between her breasts before circling her torso.
Ava watched, entranced as her upper body was covered in an intricate pattern of rope and knots. Macrame had nothing on Ryan's design.
When there was only a few feet of rope left he let it drop, stood back and walked around her.
"Beautiful. When you're happy, I'm going to take a photo of you like this. Now the finishing touches." He took up the end of the rope and moved to tie her arms. "Give me your wrists."
There was an awful ringing in her ears and spot danced in front of her eyes. Not that … It had all been so perfect up until then…
Ava opened her mouth to shout red, but everything went black instead.
She came round to the sound of Ryan's steady swearing, and her un-roped body resting against his soft tee shirt. She blinked at the worried look on his face.
"Hell, love, what happened there?" He stroked her hair. "Can you sit up so I can give you a drink?"
"Not yet." She could, but the feeling of being cherished was too good not to savor for a while longer. "Just do the romance novel thing and hold me will you." To her annoyance, she heard the sad note in her voice. His arms tightened and he rested his cheek on the top of her head for a moment.
"Color, Love."
"Green," she said automatically as the words startled her into honesty.
"I thought so, you tensed when you lied." He kissed her nose. "Spread out for a while. I'm only going to the room over there, to get some chilled water. I'll leave the door open."
****
Ryan watched her all the time as he walked into the tiny kitchen attached to his studio. Her faint had frightened him. There had been no warning. One minute she was flushed and aroused, standing tall and proud and the next moment she was white and falling. He caught her by the skin of his teeth, and carried her to the mat. As he was about to put her in the recovery position, she'd moaned and murmured something that sounded like, "Don't let him touch me, you hold me."
It took him scant seconds to fill a glass with water. He made his way back to Ava who was still as he'd left her.
"Upsadaisy." He used his arm behind her back, to lever her up to a sitting position. "Now sip this, don't gulp it." He didn't let go and sat quietly next to her until she emptied the glass and handed it back to him.
"Thank you, Sir." Her voice was quiet but steady. "I'm sorry."
Ryan put the glass down on the floor out of their way. "So am I. What was that all about?"
She went red then white again. Hell, she's not fainting on me again, is she? What the fuck is all this about?
"I did try to say red, Sir, but I think I blacked out first."
"That's for sure, now tell me why."
"Gavin used to tie me up and leave me."
Ryan had to bend close to hear her whispered words. If her late husband weren’t dead, Ryan would at that moment have done the deed himself and called it justifiable homicide.
"I thought I'd be okay, I wanted to be, and right up to the end I was. I was excited and ready for anything I thought. Then once you asked for my wrists … he used to say that, and…" She began to cry, great sobs that shook her body. All Ryan could think to do was to cuddle her and wait for the tempest to pass over. As he held her and murmured silly nothings into her ears, he castigated himself. Why hadn't he gone on to demand her limits and pushed for answers? Time to examine his reasoning later.
Ava took one more gulping sob and then looked at him, her lashes wet, and streaks of tears marking her cheeks.
"I
need a hanky."
Ryan reached into his pocket and gave her a clean square of linen. Ava took it from him with a shaky hand.
"Thank you."
She blew her nose and looked at the hanky. "I've no pocket or sleeve to put it in."
He reached and took it from her and shoved it back into his pocket. "I have. How do you feel now?"
"Better." She sounded surprised. "Much better, like I've been reborn. Wow I feel so gooooood." She sang the word. "Do it again."
"What?" What did she mean?
"Do it again. The Shibari thing. Design me a dress, sculpt with your rope. I'm ready, willing and you're able." Ava scrambled to her knees and walked to the rope on the floor behind them. She stopped dead.
"Your rope, what's happened to it?" She lifted two of the short pieces and dropped them only to pick up another two. "Why is it in bits?"
He saw understanding dawn.
"You sliced it?"
Chapter Four
Ryan nodded.
"Why?" Why had he cut his rope to shreds? "Surely not because I freaked?"
"In a way. I always have a knife or scissors handy. This was special scissors to get you out fast. You needed it. Hell, Ava, I was about to put you in the recovery position and I had the phone primed to ring for an ambulance when you started muttering. You scared me, love, and it takes a lot to do that." He kissed her nose. It ticked and she wrinkled it.
"Well, let me show you it's not going to happen again."
Ryan was silent for so long Ava began to panic. How could she show him she was truly ready to try again? That she wanted to, no, needed to. This tall dark and stereotypically handsome man in front of her meant something to her, silly though that sounded. Could you fall in love in a few hours? She thought not, but you could damn well realize that you wanted to see where something went. Just as she wanted to scream, he nodded.
"Within limits. I won't fasten your hands and I won't scribe you. You will tell me immediately if you're unsure, or believe me Ava, nothing but nothing will ever happen between us again. Do you understand? I was remiss before, and I've never ever done anything like that before. I'm appalled."
Will You Dance, Miss Laurence? Page 2