“Yeah, promise.” Liar. I needed to switch to actor mode so I wasn’t as readable.
“Well then, are you up to going out this Saturday night? It’s kind of an early Stag night. There will be people you know from high school. What do you say? Make an old friend happy?”
I had known Kurt forever. We used to ride to school together and then hang out in the afternoons. My career made it hard to catch up but I still considered him a friend. I was hardly in the mood for partying, but knowing that I didn’t have an alibi, I couldn’t refuse.
“Thanks, Kurt. Sounds like a blast. Where are we going?”
“There’s a new club in the city that’s recently opened. It’s had rave reviews. Might be the last chance I get to party hard before I make an honest woman out of Jennifer.”
It’s only one night. I can come home early if I want to. Who knows, maybe I’ll even enjoy it. Dakota would want me to get on with life. She wouldn’t want me moping around this house forever. I need to do this, for her.
Time was helping fill the hole in my heart. I would never stop loving or missing Dakota but she was dead and never coming back. I needed to accept that. Nothing I could do would change the fact. Some days were better than others. The grief could be so crushing at times if I let myself dwell for too long and then there were days like today where I thought that maybe everything would be okay. That I would survive and move on.
“Well, buddy, I’d better be going,” revealed Kurt, getting up and heading for the door. “Jennifer wants me to go with her to visit her parents in Santa Monica. I can’t keep the lady waiting. I’ll pick you up at eight o’clock Saturday night. It’s great that you’ll be coming,” he added, giving me a friendly pat on the back.
“Okay, Kurt. I look forward to it.” Maybe.
I shut the front door and walked to my room, flopping down on the bed with both hands behind my head, staring at the ceiling.
It had been a month. Was it too soon to loosen my grip on Dakota’s memory? How long was I supposed to grieve? I didn’t have that answer. All I knew was that life was still moving on whether I chose to climb aboard or not. I could watch it pass me by or join in again.
My parents would be pleased. They had almost become desperate in their attempt to get me out of the house. Now they would be getting their wish. I knew they were only trying to help me and I loved them for it. I was even starting to wonder if I should move back into my city apartment where I had my own space until I could sell it and move to the beach.
It’s not that I wasn’t grateful to be living with my parents. I was. It’s just that, I’d made a home for myself in my apartment: A space that I called my own. Somewhere I could leave clothes lying around or dishes in the sink if I didn’t feel like cleaning up. I guess I had outgrown the family home and my old room. I wasn’t that same boy anymore. Maybe I’d tell my folks that I’d be moving back there this weekend. The jet-black sports coupe that I’d purchased weeks before departing to Sapphire Island still sat in the basement of the apartment complex. I was ready to get behind the wheel again and head out to the ocean.
***
Saturday came quickly. It was a little too quickly for my liking, but as the saying went, time stopped for no man. I found myself in the living room with Mom and Dad, tensely waiting for Kurt. Pacing back and forth, I was beginning to wear a track.
“For goodness sake, sit down and relax, son! Anyone would think you were going to jail. You’re going out to enjoy yourself.”
“I know, Dad. I guess I’m just used to being at home at night. I still don’t think I can face the media.”
“Don’t worry about it. Just keep your chin up and say nothing.”
Minutes later there was a knock at the door. I hurried over to answer it, anxious to get the evening underway so I could return to my apartment. Telling my folks that I was moving out was met with a positive reaction. They were both overjoyed that I wanted to return to my life and start living again. I wasn’t sure about living, but I would be existing.
“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Rutherford!” said Kurt, who was dressed up like he was going to his wedding. Polished black shoes, long ‘pressed with crease’ pants, white shirt, and black jacket and tie. Suddenly I felt a little underdressed in my casual shirt and pants. I hoped none of the others had dressed up in full suits.
“Hello, Kurt. How are you tonight?” asked Mom, as she perched on the sofa doing a tapestry. “How is your mother?”
“I’m fine, thanks, and Mom’s great. She said to say hello to everyone. She’ll no doubt catch up with you at the store. You both seem to do your shopping at the same time every week. I reckon you have it planned that way so that you can have a good gossip.”
“Sure we do. When there are no men around, we can have a good chat.”
Dad gave her a playful jeer as she elbowed him in the ribs. I rolled my eyes at my parents’ teenage behavior, suddenly needing to leave.
“I guess we’d better be going then, Kurt,” I offered, moving my friend towards the door.
“Have a good night, both of you. We’ll see you in the morning, Kyle, when you come to pick up the rest of your things,” sang Mom.
“Okay. Night. Don’t have too much fun while I’m not here.”
I didn’t miss Dad wiggling his eyebrows at my mom right before I shut the door on them and climbed into Kurt’s car.
“We’re gonna have a good time tonight, buddy,” chanted Kurt as we drove off in his 1969 Mustang. Mr. Holloway had bought him the car for his twenty-first birthday right about the time he had started working for the family publishing company. Kurt’s father was very big on material possessions and always liked to show off the things his children had to his executive friends. I liked Mr. Holloway but didn’t necessarily approve of his values.
As we flew down the highway, Kurt pulled a packet of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket. At least I thought they were cigarettes.
“Want one?’ my friend asked, holding the packet out to me after taking one himself and lighting up as we stopped at a set of traffic lights.
“No thanks, I don’t smoke anymore,” I declined, much to the amazement of my friend.
“Who said anything about cigarettes? These are way better than that. Why don’t you try one, it’ll help you relax.”
I could smell the dope as it wafted over to my side of the car. I’d been through it all years ago when I was younger. Many of my friends were still using it. Two guys had now moved onto harder drugs and it was destroying their lives. I didn’t want to end up that way.
“No thanks. I don’t smoke dope anymore, either. I guess I’ve changed a lot since you last saw me.”
Kurt glanced at me as if he was seeing me for the first time. “You sure have changed. What’s gotten into you? You haven’t gone straight for the love of a good woman, have you? My missus knows I smoke pot but when I’m out with the boys it’s my time and she lets me do it. Just not at home. Anyway, I’d do it with or without her consent.”
“I stopped a while ago when I saw what it was doing to my life. It was governing my social life so much so that I couldn’t go anywhere without lighting up a joint. I was continuously on edge from the constant media attention. The dope used to relax me. It took me a long time to appreciate that you don’t need to be high to enjoy life. A special lady taught me not so long ago that every moment is precious and we shouldn’t take life for granted. We have to believe in ourselves first and then we can achieve what we want in life.” My focus drifted. I still craved her. She was my drug. I was still having withdrawal symptoms. I’d do anything to turn back the clock and have even one more day. One hour. One kiss.
“So where is this special lady now? She really has had an effect on you. I’ve never seen you this way before.” Kurt’s eyebrows knit as he watched me search for the right words.
“She’s in heaven, looking down on us as we speak. We met while I was on location filming the pirate movie. We fell in love. A love like I’ve never known before, I mean i
t was so intense that sometimes I couldn’t breathe. I’ve never had that before. She was on my mind constantly and still is. We both knew we were soul mates and destined to be together forever. I knew it as soon as I looked into her beautiful eyes that she was the one. I’ve heard people talking about making eye contact across a crowded room with someone and knowing. Well, I knew. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like you’ve met that person before and they seem familiar. It goes way beyond lust or physical attraction. I don’t think I’ll ever find what we had again. It broke my heart when she died.”
The car seemed to slow as Kurt weighed my words. “I’m sorry. She must have been one special woman to have had such a weighty effect on you. How did she die?” Kurt sounded genuinely moved by the story.
“Her plane crashed on the way to New York. You know the one that was on all the news broadcasts? She was on her way back to Australia to organize her affairs before moving over here to spend more time with me.”
“Are you going to be okay? I mean, are you sure you’re ready to go out tonight?”
“To be quite honest with you, when you first asked me, I was close to saying no but I knew how much it meant to you to go out again, just like old times. The closer tonight came though, the more I started to think it might be a good idea. I’ve been cooped up inside for so long, it’ll do me good to get out. Let’s just concentrate on having a good time.”
Listening to my own words surprised me. I was actually looking forward to having some fun. Kurt’s spirits lifted too when he saw me perking up somewhat.
The cherry red Mustang idled into the nightclub parking lot where Kurt paid the security guard to keep an extra eye on it. He didn’t want his car being vandalized or stolen. It was his baby.
It was close to nine o’clock and the nightclub queue extended for half a block. We headed to the front of the line in order to let the bouncer know we had the whole top floor booked.
If the doorman had been freed from jail yesterday, I wouldn’t have been surprised. Serpent tattoos snaked up his arm and vanished under a shirt two sizes too small with bulging, vein intersected muscles from way too much steroid use that literally busted out of the elbow-length sleeves of the collared, white uniform. His greased back hair hung to his shoulders and was secured with a hair tie. This dude meant business.
He looked Kurt and I up and down before his eyes rested on me again. Something clicked in his eyes. “Hey, aren’t you Kyle Rutherford, the movie actor?” he asked in a tone of voice that was a little too loud.
I nodded, hoping to slip inside before the crowd had a chance to react but it was too late. Instantly the long queue of people closed in around me. Girls screamed.
“Oh my god! It’s him! It’s really him! He’s so cute! Hey, Kyle! Could you come over here and sign an autograph?”
Jesus! Why couldn’t prison dude just keep his big trap shut? Everything was going smoothly until his foghorn got everyone’s attention.
Always one to do the right thing, never wanting to disappoint fans, I signed a few shirts. All the while the mob of girls, kept their eyes constantly fixated on me, waiting to see if I would look up at them and smile. I let a couple of girls get a photo with me and left it at that. I quickly walked back to Kurt, who had envy written all over his face.
“You lucky son of a gun! They literally fall at your feet. Most guys would kill to be in your shoes and even though I’m getting married and love Jennifer dearly, I’d swap places with you tomorrow.”
“You can have my shoes any day. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” I pushed my way past the bouncer and into the club, leaving at least twenty hormonal women fighting for a new place in the queue.
The nightclub pulsated to the beat of a hip-hop number that I couldn’t place. Bodies mingled in a mix of sweat, perfume and alcohol.
“Come on. We’re up in the V.I.P. lounge. I knew you’d get hassled down in the public area so we’ll be totally segregated,” said Kurt, pulling me across the floor and up the stairs.
I stopped at the top and surveyed the large room. Bright purple carpet adorned the floor in a retro sort of way with a green feature wall on one side of the dance floor and white on all the others. A private bar was stacked full of bottles with three bartenders busy behind it. There looked to be only around fifteen people scattered around so far, but the night was still young.
I eased down into one of the jumbo leather chairs.
“Want a beer?”
“Yeah, that’d be great.” A beer might help ease me into the night a little more.
Spying the dance floor in the corner, my thoughts returned to Sapphire Island. Images of Dakota trying not to stand on anyone’s feet on the crowded floor brought a smile to my lips.
She really came out of her shell that night. We spent a good part of the evening dancing together, wild and carefree. I’d give anything to be back there in her arms.
The slow dance we’d shared that had cemented my connection with her tugged at my emotions. She’d driven me wild with desire that evening. I’d been hard all night. Breathing in her hair and perfumed sweat, I’d wanted to taste her, run my mouth over those smooth curves, nibble on the hollow in her neck, feed on those full lips…The ache grew.
Kurt returned, pulling me from my memories, handing me my beer. I took a swig, enjoying the cool taste and the fact that I now had something in my hand.
“I’m just going over to say hi to a couple of guys from work. Will you be okay here, buddy?” Kurt asked.
“You go. I’ll be fine. I’m gonna sit here and just chill for a bit.”
Kurt seemed happy with that and left me to it.
The place was actually quite classy, despite the color scheme. The couches looked to be real leather and the drinks tables here and there were edged in gold. The ceiling was a labyrinth of lights, some on, some off.
I swallowed the rest of my beer and relaxed into the oversized chair.
Before long more guys ambled in. There were a few familiar faces, some of which I hadn’t been too involved with at school. Jim McDonald and Ben Davidson were the only ones I could really call friends that had traveled in our circle. The rest of the men were associates of Kurt’s from the publishing company.
Ben and Jim caught my eye as they scanned the room and approached to say hello. “Hey, Kyle! It’s been a long time. How’s the movie industry treating you? It must be extremely exciting.”
“Yeah,” added Jim. “Heaps of women falling at your feet. Hey, I saw your last movie. It was cool. When is the next one due out?”
Between them both, I could hardly get a word in.
“In another couple of weeks, so make sure you give me a call and I’ll get you both a couple of tickets to the premiere.”
“Great, thanks a lot.”
They sat on the adjacent couch and we caught up. Ben had aged well but Jim looked far older. Gray streaks highlighted his hair and beard, early wrinkles creasing his brow and eyes. He’d always been on the thin side but now he just looked gaunt and sickly.
Three beers later, I loosened up and settled into the night. At the stroke of midnight, Jim stood up and made an announcement.
“Quiet, everyone. Quiet, please! Could I have your attention please? Tonight is Kurt’s stag night. As you all know, he’s getting married soon and we wish him and Jennifer a happy life together. Before you embark on married life, Kurt, we’d like to give you a little token of our friendship. No stag night would be complete without a little entertainment. So without further ado, here she is! The one and only…Jodie!”
From across the room, through multicolored smoke, paraded a scantily clad stripper. Her hair was bleached blonde and tied into a bun at the back. Large hoop earrings dangled down to toned shoulders. She was clad in a pair of G-string panties that left nothing to the imagination and a flimsy matching bikini top that looked like it might come off at any second. Her eyes had a cat-like appearance with mascara and eye shadow swept up at the corners to join her eyebrows. Rub
y red lips pouted to the boys.
She flounced across the floor towards a room filled with testosterone, moving in time to the music, hips swaying. Whistles bounced off the walls. Her breasts recoiled like her earrings with every step she took.
Kurt was egged on by his half-tanked buddies, who encouraged him to accept her onto his lap. He kindly obliged, spurred on by the madding crowd. Jodie got Kurt to undo her bikini top, which she then tossed into the crowd. It was caught by some young hopeful who stuffed them into the pocket of his pants as a souvenir. I couldn’t help but smirk at his thrilled reaction. I’d been there many times. Strip joints. High school parties. Women throwing themselves at me, along with certain items of clothing.
The stripper pressed Kurt’s face into her enlarged chest, giving him a close-up of her assets. The room exploded with cheers, revelry, and male ego. She twisted and turned to face the crowd as Kurt grabbed her breasts from behind, unable to close his hands around them fully.
Jodie didn’t seem bothered by having Kurt’s hands maul her, and I guess, why should she? She chose her profession.
When the song was over, with a G-string filled with twenties and fifties, Jodie put a robe on and came back to join the boys, who were only too eager to offer her a drink.
I wasn’t interested in making a fuss over the blonde woman. She seemed happy to lap up all the attention. It all felt a bit contrived now. Instead I looked at my watch and saw it was one o’clock in the morning. I was getting tired and was starting to think about returning to my apartment when the stripper walked over to me and sat down.
“Hey there. How’s it going? What are you doing sitting over here all by yourself? Are you not having a good time?”
“Yeah sure,” I countered, hoping she couldn’t see that I was starting to get bored. “I’m just happy to sit here and watch everyone else have fun. Your routine was very good. Have you been doing this long?”
“Only about three months actually, so I’m not a professional yet. I’m studying to be a lawyer and this work is paying my university costs. I only see it as a way to make money so I don’t take it too seriously.”
Losing You (Finding You Series Book 2) Page 11