by Kimberly Fox
I won’t be alone. I’ll be rooming with Ophelia.
Lonely sounds like paradise all of a sudden.
Chapter Two
Cynthia
Day One
The bus finally arrives at the resort and I take a deep breath of the hot, humid air as I step onto the pavement. A sweaty, fleshy arm wraps around my neck and I grimace.
“I guess we’re roomies,” Tanya’s aunt Ophelia says into my face with her airline food breath. “This is going to be great.”
I shift to the side, trying to slide out from under her plump triceps but she’s got a strong grip. I just hope the room has two beds.
“It will be fun,” I say, more to try and convince myself than anything. The power of positive thinking.
I manage to wiggle out from under her arm but she grabs my hand and pulls me to the front desk. “I’ve been in desperate need of some girl time,” she says, squeezing my hand to the point of pain. “My cats have been driving me crazy.”
Cats? Well, that explains the itching in my throat. I’m totally allergic.
“Did you say cats?” I ask, feeling my tongue swell in my mouth.
“Oh yeah,” she says. “I have six of them. And don’t worry I brought pictures.”
Great. I can look at them while my throat closes.
We check in and get our key cards to the room. The resort is smaller than the one in Cancun but all of the rooms have a spectacular view of the turquoise ocean.
If the rooms are anything like the lobby we’re in for a treat. There are fine details everywhere that push it beyond five stars. A beautiful mosaic of two dolphins playing on the floor, gorgeous handcrafted wooden sculptures carved into the walls and large colorful flowers planted all over the place. This resort really is a paradise.
I gasp as we walk through the entrance into the resort. Even Ophelia’s hostile perfume mixed with the smell of old cat hair can’t ruin the stunning view. The pool is large and snakes through the resort, passing swaying palm trees and people lounging on beach chairs.
The beach is in full magnificent view from here and is not crammed with people like on most resorts. It’s late afternoon and people are picking up books and half empty bottles of suntan lotion as they get ready to head back to their rooms for a quick nap or drink on the balcony before dinner. A volleyball game on the beach is just finishing up with the two teams high-fiving each other.
Tanya and Ethan chose a great resort.
I walk through the small resort and check out the amenities. There’s a cute little seafood restaurant, a steakhouse, and the large buffet. The smells coming out of each have my stomach rumbling as the chefs prepare the dinner for the hungry tourists.
I moan as I step barefoot onto the beach and feel the warm sand slide between my toes. I close my eyes, enjoying the feeling that city-goers dream about all winter. The waves hit the shore like the slow beat of a drum taking my worries and anxiety out to sea.
Any hot single guys?
The beach seems to be mostly couples. I can see why in a place like this. It’s quiet and romantic. Not the place for single men wanting to party.
A middle-aged couple smiles at me as they walk back to their rooms. I watch them holding hands as they stroll past two palm trees that curve into each other. The palms are touching like the two trees are in an eternal kiss.
The sun is starting to set lighting the sky into a gorgeous pink fire. Two lazy clouds glide across the ocean together like an elderly couple strolling through the park. The warm breeze hits my face and takes my curly brown hair for a ride with it.
All of the chairs on the beach are paired off in twos, rubbing my loneliness in my face. One chair for me and one for my book. How sad.
A young couple kisses in front of me and my shoulders slump. I’m in the most romantic place that I’ve ever seen and I’m the only single one here.
“There you are roomie!” Ophelia calls out from behind.
Well, not the only one.
Ophelia hooks her arm under mine and takes a deep inhale of the salty air while I hold my breath. “Come on,” she says, tugging me away towards the rooms. “I have a surprise for you!”
I let her lead me away. I’m starving anyway and the sight of all of those couples is just depressing.
We run into Tanya and Ethan on the way to the room. Tanya glances down at Ophelia’s arm wrapped around mine like a bike lock and gulps.
“Thanks for taking care of my girl on the flight,” Ethan says to me with an easy smile. He looks as hot as ever in his tight shirt over his hard muscles with his sunglasses perched on his head. Tanya really hit the jackpot with this one.
“No worries,” I say with a shrug. “I’m just glad that she didn’t puke on my sweater.”
“I’m sorry,” Tanya says, “I can’t help it. I just get so nervous flying.”
Ethan wraps his inked up muscular arm around her shoulder and grins. “I guess my dream of joining the mile high club is out of the question?”
Tanya gives him the eyes. “With me it is.”
Ethan kisses her forehead. “There’s only you baby.”
“Damn,” Ophelia says under her breath but it’s loud enough for all of us to hear.
Tanya just ignores her sex-crazed aunt. “Everyone is going to get dressed quick and then meet at the seafood restaurant for dinner.”
“Alright,” I say as Ophelia pulls me away. “We’ll see you there.”
I need to find my own Superman. Lately, it’s just been a string of guys looking for one night stands. They don’t even try to masquerade it behind romance anymore. Instead of bringing flowers and dressing up they send over dick pics and expect a girl to be happy. It seems like nobody wants commitment anymore.
The Tinder generation is all about hookups and getting off. Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong century. Is there anything wrong with still wanting romance and monogamy? According to the guys of my generation there is.
Our room is on the second floor and within steps to the beach. I hold my breath as Ophelia opens the door and then I look up to the ceiling to say a quick prayer of thanks when I see two beds in the room. The room is way nicer than my apartment and I walk around it with wide eyes taking in the stunning bathroom with the walk-in shower and two-person tub, the large room with the mini fridge, bar, and big screen TV, and the huge balcony with the magnificent view of the ocean. Two white sailboats drift by in the distance taking my breath away with them.
“This is incredible,” I say as Ophelia hoists her suitcase onto her bed and cracks it open. My eyes start to water and my tongue gets itchy as the heavy smell of six cats fills the room.
I step back onto the balcony and breathe in the fresh, salty ocean air as I wonder if my bed can fit out here. That smell is too intense.
Ophelia clutches her stomach and moans. “I shouldn’t have taken the fish on the plane,” she says with a groan. Her eyes widen and she runs to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. If I thought the smell was bad now…
I step in the room to close her suitcase when something inside catches my eye. A big white plastic bag with colorful things inside. Is that what I think it is? Please no.
I hook my finger into the bag, touching as little of it as possible, and pull it open. Oh God! There’s an army of dildos inside. Over a dozen and all different sizes, shapes and colors. Suddenly I’ve lost my appetite.
I hope that wasn’t the surprise that she had in mind.
I close the bag, hoping that it never gets opened again on this vacation when something else catches my watery eyes. Lacy leopard print.
I have to do it. It’s like watching a car crash. It’s calling to me as every sane thought in my head says don’t do it.
I hook my finger into the lacy material and lift it up, letting the folded lingerie drop open. I’ve never seen a lacy parachute before. I gag when I see the hole in the crotch that’s cut out with scissors. Ew! I toss it back into the suitcase and rush to the bathroom door.
“I’m giving birth over here,” Ophelia says through the door. “Come back in twenty.”
Ew. I’m going to get Tanya back for this.
Her twenty minutes will probably be more like forty, she did bring her book in there, so I gather my clothes, makeup and head to the bathroom by the pool to get ready. At least it won’t smell like a cat kennel in there.
After twenty minutes of makeup and getting dressed in a public bathroom, I’m ready for dinner. A little girl dripping wet in her bathing suit walks in while I’m putting on eyeliner. She stares at me like I’m an alien as she walks into a stall. If you had my roommate you’d spend as much time in here as possible. Trust me.
Time for the unveiling. I step back and check myself out in the large mirror. My curly brown hair is tied up behind my head with just a loose strand hanging down by my temple. I turn and check my yellow floral sundress from all angles. My hips look a little too big but it’ll have to do. It’s not like I have anybody to impress.
The toilet flushes and the little girl slips out of the stall in her Dora the Explorer bathing suit. She has bright green goggles tucked into her tangled brown hair. “You look pretty,” she says in a cute little voice.
“Thank you,” I say, smiling at her. “So do you.”
She smiles shyly and runs out in her bare feet.
I take one last look at my dress and smile. I guess I do look pretty good.
The seafood restaurant is starting to fill up as the tourists get hungry from all of that sleeping and lying around doing nothing that filled their stress-free day.
Mr. and Mrs. Prentis are first in line, of course. I run back to my room to drop off my airplane clothes and my makeup bag. Hopefully, Ophelia is still in the bathroom or has already left. I’m still afraid to see what her surprise is.
I slide my key card into the slot, being as quiet as I can, and open the door. The smell hits me like a truck. It smells like a cat took a dump in a potpourri bowl. I toss my bags in without stepping foot inside when an unwelcome hand grabs the door and yanks it open.
“Come in for a second,” Ophelia says. “We have to go over some ground rules.”
“Like what?” I ask, holding my breath as I step in.
Ophelia counts them off on her fingers. “Whoever orders the porn on the TV has to pay for it.”
“Ooookay,” I say looking at her sideways.
“If there’s a sock hanging on the handle of the door then we can’t enter until it’s gone.”
“Uh, okay.”
She jerks her head up like she just thought of something. “Unless it’s a red sock then you’re welcome to enter if you want to join in.”
Ew. How can she be sisters with Tanya’s crazy religious mother? It doesn’t make sense.
Ophelia points to an industrial size box of condoms on the night table and my stomach drops. “Those are communal condoms. Feel free to use them.” She nudges me with her elbow playfully. “Just don’t use up all of my Magnums.”
I step back and hold my elbow in my hand. “Ya know I think I’m going to hold off sex for the week.”
“Really?” she asks, jerking her head back in shock. “In a place like this? Vacation dick is like shooting fish in a barrel.”
“I’m just…not into random hookups.” I’ve been there and done that and all it did was leave a sour taste in my mouth. Literally and figuratively.
Ophelia is staring at me like my hair is on fire. She’s horrified.
“Well,” she says, composing herself. “Then I have the thing for you.”
I gasp as she grabs the white plastic bag from her suitcase.
No. Not the dildos!
I step back towards the safety of the hallway but she reaches behind me and closes the door. The click of it closing sends shivers down my spine.
She opens the bag up in front of me and smiles. “I’m a vibrator and dildo connoisseur,” she says, proudly. “These are my fifteen best. You’re welcome to borrow any of them if you want. Just please, please, put them back. I don’t know what I’d do if one of them were missing.”
Suddenly I feel as nauseous as Tanya was on the plane. I wonder if I’m as green as she was too.
“Uh, thanks,” I say, reaching behind me for the door handle. “I’ll see you at dinner,” I say, opening it and running out.
“Save me a seat,” she says as I slam the door closed and sprint to the staircase.
I’m going to kill Tanya.
I hurry down to the restaurant and breathe a sigh of relief when I see Julia in line. She’s standing beside Matt looking gorgeous in a new Gucci dress. Julia looks like the richest person I know but in reality, she’s tens of thousands of dollars in retail, credit card debt. She probably added another ten in new dresses, sunglasses, and accessories for this vacation alone.
“Hey guys,” I say as I cut in line beside them. I apologize to the couple behind me and they just smile back.
Julia leans into Matt as she looks me up and down. “You look so hot in that dress,” she says.
“You should talk,” I say. Julia looks stunning with her dark black hair pulled back. The diamond necklace around her neck is sparkling in the slowly rising moonlight. “New dress?”
“Oh yeah,” she says proudly, shaking her slim hips.
“How much did that one cost?” I ask. I hate knowing but I always have to ask.
“More than your car,” she says with a wink.
I wish she was kidding. She’s living the lifestyle of a Kardashian on a kindergarten teacher’s salary.
Matt is staring up at a palm tree with his brow furrowed. I follow his gaze to see what he’s looking at but there’s nothing there.
I really don’t know Matt at all and I don’t think that Julia does either. I’ve seen them make out and cuddle a lot but I don’t think I’ve ever seen them talk.
He’s tall with dark features on his dull but okay looking face.
“So Matt,” I say, interrupting his stare down with the palm tree. “It’s going to be nice to get to know you over the week. Are you from Buffalo?”
“Yup,” he says, nodding.
“Have you ever been to Belize before?” I ask, trying desperately to make conversation.
He looks at me with confusion on his vacuous face. “Is that a new club?”
“No,” I say, looking at him sideways. “Belize. The country that we’re in.”
His forehead wrinkles as he stares at me even more confused than before.
“The country that we’re vacationing in right now. Belize.”
He shrugs. “Never heard of it.”
Julia hugs him and smiles at me. “Ten inches, Cynthia,” she whispers when Matt the bartender turns back to his captivating palm tree. “Ten inches!”
I roll my eyes and look around the resort. Julia is my best friend but she fits right into the Tinder generation. She loves her hookups.
I give it a week before she gets bored with Matt and moves on. I just wish their soon to be doomed relationship didn’t have to blossom right before this trip. Then I wouldn’t be stuck with the crazy horny cat lady.
We get to the front of the line and the pretty hostess walks us through the spectacular restaurant. There’s a marlin the size of a canoe mounted on the wall over the tables of sunburnt tourists.
“Mm, lobster,” Julia says as we pass a tank of live lobsters. My heart sinks as I see the poor guys trapped in there, wondering what the hell happened to their ocean paradise.
Tanya is standing at a large table waving us over. She looks so cute in her pink skirt and white tank top. Ethan really is lucky to have landed a girl like her.
The hostess smiles as she shows us the table and tells us to enjoy our meals. I take a quick look around the table of twenty or so people in our group and it’s all couples. Fuck. I pull out a chair and slide onto it with a thickness in my throat.
At least I have my people around me. Tanya
and Ethan are in front of me with Mr. and Mrs. Prentis sitting on my left. Julia sits on my right with Matt sitting beside her. Luckily, there’s no room for Ophelia anywhere within smelling distance. I really don’t need to have an allergic reaction during dinner.
Ethan straightens his tie and coughs. “You look very pretty Mrs. Prentis,” he says nervously.
Mr. Prentis frowns. “Are you hitting on my wife?”
“Dad!” Tanya snips. “Come on!”
Mr. Prentis opens up his menu and grunts.
Ethan gulps as he picks up his glass of water. Poor guy is trying to make a good impression on Tanya’s hardass parents. He looks so cute in his tie as he’s fidgeting with the napkin on his lap.
I try to help him out. “Do you like your room?” I ask Tanya’s parents. “Didn’t Tanya and Ethan chose an amazing resort?”
Her dad grunts and doesn’t look away from his open menu. “There’s no bible in the night table.”
Tanya rolls her eyes.
Her mom smiles. “It’s okay. I brought my own.”
“So how’s the new job, Tanya?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
Both Ethan and Tanya stare at me with wide eyes. Tanya subtly shakes her head.
“The job in a tattoo parlor?” Mr. Prentis says with disgust in his voice. “Might as well be working for the devil.”
Okay. Zero for two.
Megan and Lucas show up and look around the table for an open seat. Her hair is a mess and Lucas’ fly is open.
“Sorry we’re late,” Megan says, sounding out of breath. We had something to take care of first.
Ugh. I hate newlyweds. So happy all of the time.
There are only two open spots left and it’s on either side of Ophelia at the end of the table. Now it’s my turn to snicker at her.
“There are two seats down there,” I say, pointing. “Have fun.”
Megan sticks her tongue out at me and pulls her husband away towards the empty seats.
“Where are your parents, Ethan?” Mr. Prentis asks. Maybe I should follow Megan. This side of the table is a little awkward for my tastes.