by Deanna Jewel
His deep voice cut through the darkness to carve into her heart. Upset with herself that she’d allowed Taima to affect her so, an exhaled moan of disgust escaped Kate’s throat. “If you’d hurry up and get that other woman’s attention, you wouldn’t need to sleep in the rain,” she said and rolled over, giving Taima her back and yanking the blanket to her chin. She’d be fine as long as he didn’t come near her. If he touched her, she knew she’d melt.
Inky blackness surrounded her as she lay still, wondering if Taima had lain down or if he stared at her back? She didn’t care. And neither would she care who the Indian woman was who had captured Taima’s interest. The sooner he got involved with that woman, the quicker he would leave her alone.
Kate weighed the possibility of this other woman being quiet and subservient, the opposite of herself. How could Taima ever enjoy the company of someone who accepted his word as law and never argued back; who never met his gaze to challenge the man? Her mind envisioned Taima and the faceless female enjoying a caress, a touch to a cheek, a deep, sensual kiss that would be felt to one’s toes. She arched her back at such a visual image.
Kate squeezed her knees together and pulled them level with her hips. Why would she care if he caressed another woman? After all, his touch did nothing to her, or at least she tried to convince herself of that; yet the memory of tonight’s kiss came rushing back, haunting her whenever she closed her eyes. The muscles of her stomach knotted, and she pressed her fingers to her lips, remembering his kiss.
She hated Taima; he was brutal, not tender the way a lover would be. Kate closed her eyes, yet a crystal blue gaze glared back at her from a handsome, rugged face. Pain stabbed at her heart, but she refused to admit her true emotions.
Would she feel this loneliness the rest of her days? A tear slipped from between her closed lids before she drifted into a fitful sleep.
* * * * *
Fresh air swirled about the interior of the lean-to and Kate rolled onto her back, drawing in a deep breath. She stretched her arms overhead and pointed her toes. Leisurely, she rolled her head from side to side, stretching her neck. The hide at the door continued to swing in the breeze. But the hide where Taima had slept lay empty.
Kate stepped outside and glanced at the surrounding mountain peaks. The cool morning air sent shivers over her flesh, and she rubbed her arms. No wonder the snow still collected atop the mountains.
Taima’s people scurried about, working together to pack their belongings. Travois had been attached to the horses and were already loaded with several parfleches. Aiyana tied leather straps to hold her bundles onto the center rawhide netting.
Looking amongst the scurrying people, Kate could not spot Taima.
“Tie our hides together and pack everything else in the pouches. We leave today for the hot springs,” Taima said from behind her, causing her to jump. He handed her a hard biscuit and two pieces of dried meat. “We’ll not wait if you’re not ready,” he warned, then walked toward the horses with a pack slung over his shoulder.
Kate tore a chunk of meat off with her teeth as she stared at Taima’s back. Another command, she huffed. Could he not ask her to do something rather than issue an order? Chewing the tough meat only spurred her agitation.
Kate watched Ahanu secure the travois and wondered about the closeness of his friendship with Taima. The two were nearly inseparable. At that moment, he turned and met her gaze, as though he knew she watched him, then he looked at Taima who approached him. Ahanu smiled and shook his head. Kate rolled her eyes and stepped back into the lean-to to gather their belongings. Ahanu’s gaze had spoke volumes when she, too, approached him. She shook her head and laughed. It didn’t hurt so bad, realizing he enjoyed taunting Taima, as well.
Once packed, the pouches weighed more than Kate had anticipated, but she struggled to carry them toward the horses. Two trips would be necessary, yet she refused to ask Taima for any help. It infuriated her that he hadn’t returned to see if she had needed him. He likely could have carried all of them at once, saving her the effort. Exhaling a grunt, she dropped the pouches next to the horses.
“You will make a good wife,” Aiyana stated, then giggled. “Taima needs someone like you. And you are good with Kelee. He enjoys your company.”
“Unlike his father,” Kate replied with a snort. “Thanks, but no thanks.”
Aiyana glanced around, then stepped closer. “Listen to your heart...Kelee needs you.”
Her sudden friendliness stunned Kate.
She walked away before Kate could realize the impact of her words. Kelee was a special child, Kate already knew that. He’d found his way into her heart, past the wall she’d erected against such intrusions. Grudgingly, she admitted, so had his father.
Mulling over Aiyana’s words, Kate watched the children play beyond the lean-tos and heard their laughter drift on the wind. Kelee chased Ahanu’s daughter and two other girls, giggling as they ran away from him.
Confused, Kate turned to retrieve the bundle of hides at the lean-to. She couldn’t understand Aiyana’s change in attitude toward her. First the woman wanted her dead, now she wanted her to be Kelee’s mother; and worse yet, Taima’s wife. That would never happen, she promised.
The bundle of hides was wider than Kate’s arms could reach around, so she dug her fingers into the furs, hoping she’d make it to the horses without dropping it. After a few steps, she had to stop and nudge the bundle up higher with her knee, then lean back so it wouldn’t slip again.
Suddenly, Taima’s face appeared over the top of the bundle. He reached around the package, mistakenly grabbing her waist in an attempt to take the burden of hides from her. As she held tight to her bundle, the ridges of Taima’s stomach pressed through the leather of his shirt and against the backs of her hands, scorching her.
Their lips were mere inches apart; their noses nearly touched; she met his gaze. His warm breath fanned her cheek. His eyes were such a startling blue, like the sky on a clear day.
His lips parted, and she moistened her own before realizing what she’d done. Kate prayed he wouldn’t kiss her in front of his people.
“This bundle is as big as you are. I’ll carry it.”
She refused to let go. “I can do it! Where were you when I needed help with the pouches?”
“You can’t possibly carry this all the way to the horses. Give it to me,” he demanded.
Kate stared into the blue of his eyes. “No!” She tried to jerk it away a second time, then realized her mistake.
She’d done it again.
A vein visibly throbbed at Taima’s temple.
Lines formed between his eyebrows, accenting the vicious look in his eyes. Kate’s heart began beating erratically; her breath caught in her throat. She quickly released the bundle and stepped away.
“Damn you, White Woman. Why can’t you ever listen?” he seethed through clenched teeth, loud enough for only her to hear.
She lowered her gaze and quickly stepped around him, hurrying toward Ahanu.
“You enjoy bringing out his fire, don’t you?” Ahanu asked quietly before Taima reached them.
“Why can’t he just leave me be? He torments me on purpose.” She peered over her shoulder to see how close Taima was. “Make him leave me alone.”
“It’s hard to make Taima stop doing something he enjoys. And he enjoys tormenting you,” Ahanu chuckled.
Kate raised an eyebrow, wanting more of an explanation, but Taima had joined them. He eyed her and Ahanu, then strapped the hides to the travois.
A short time later, Kate walked with the small group headed for the hot springs. Aiyana walked silently beside her. Taima was never far from her. Did he actually think she’d run away when anyone could easily catch her?
The full day’s journey would likely prove tiresome, but she looked forward to seeing this strange place they talked of. She’d never seen steam rising from hot springs, nor hot water shooting into the sky from a geyser.
Taima and his people
appeared fearful of this area where their spirit gods lived, yet she wanted to experience the warm water and touch the heated ground.
“Aiyana, do you and the others bathe in the warm waters?” Kate asked.
“Not where we leave our offerings for the Great Spirit, it would bring bad luck, but there are areas we do.”
“You leave offerings for them?”
“Yes. We leave moccasins to protect their feet against the burning rocks, and soft leather clothing to protect them from the cold nights. Some leave special gifts in hopes their prayers might be answered.”
Kelee ran up and tugged on Kate’s dress. “Look what I made; Aiyana helped me.”
Kelee placed an object in her hands. Twigs had been secured to make three circles, each connecting to the other. Wide grass wrapped each twig and three small gray feathers were attached to its center.
“You did a beautiful job, Kelee”
“I’m going to leave it with the Great Spirit and pray that the three of us will become a family, then we’ll be joined just like the circles.”
Kelee’s innocent comment caused Taima to turn in their direction. He stared at her, then Kelee. Excited, the boy ran up to walk with his father.
Taima picked Kelee up into his arms. “Look, Noshi. See what Aiyana helped me make. The Great Spirit will join Kate with us, just like these circles, forever. I know this, for I pray for it every night. Don’t you?”
Kate watched Kelee’s trusting blue eyes as they waited for his father to answer. A tender smile spread upon the child’s face.
Taima brushed the hair from Kelee’s cheek. “My prayers are different than yours, Nechan. I only pray for your happiness.”
“We will be happy, soon. I know it,” Kelee announced, then wiggled to be released. He ran toward a group of his friends, carefully carrying his offering.
Taima turned briefly to meet Kate’s gaze then slowly took in the length of her body. Her cheeks heated with embarrassment. When his gaze returned to her face, she lowered her lashes before he could read her reaction. Little Kelee had meant no harm. All children wanted their families to be happy. Kate only wished Kelee knew of the other woman who had caught Taima’s eye so he could befriend this woman instead of her. She would be the one to help make theirs a happy family.
Aiyana gently squeezed Kate’s hand. An act of friendship which startled her. A gracious smile reached Aiyana’s almond-shaped eyes this time. The caring message touched Kate’s heart. She gave the woman’s delicate fingers a squeeze of friendship.
Kate pulled her hand away and said, “First you try to kill me, now you offer me your friendship. I don’t understand.”
Aiyana glanced toward Taima, then met Kate’s gaze with a child-like smile and scrunched her nose. “It was all for his benefit. Ever since I tried to cut your throat, Taima hasn’t let you out of his sight. He treated my sister the same as he now treats you, though I don’t think he realizes it. But Ahanu does, and he has reminded me.”
“I don’t understand. Taima hated your sister?”
“No, no. But they used to argue all the time, too. An Indian woman does not look into the eyes of the men of her tribe, though Witashnah did. She challenged Taima at every step, yet their love ran deep for each other.”
Kate stared at Taima’s broad back as she spoke quietly. “But you’ve guessed wrong where Taima and I are concerned. There is no love between us. We hate each other and have both admitted it.”
Aiyana shook her head. “There is no hate, only a refusal to see the truth. When you admit it and listen to your heart, only then will you be truly happy.”
Aiyana spoke behind her hand. “Do not fret over it. Pay attention to the way he watches you when he thinks no one else sees. He is yet like a little boy.”
Kate rolled her eyes. “Ha! Taima, a little boy?”
“Yes. He teases you like boys tease the girls they like, as do our children here.”
“He told me last night there is a woman who interests him, but she cares not about his feelings, only Kelee’s. You need to help him get through to this woman, whoever she is, because she is who Taima truly wants.”
Her new-found friend laughed and shook her head.
Kate scrutinized her features for clues as she adjusted her stride to the land’s incline. “You know this woman?”
Aiyana looked at her from the corner of her eye and smiled again. “I will not answer any more questions about this.” Aiyana’s fingers tapped her chest over her heart. “You need to listen here.” She stared ahead then and walked on in silence.
What if there was some truth in what Aiyana said? Many times she had told Kate to listen to her heart. How would she feel if Taima actually felt something for her?
An image formed of the Indian rejoicing over the scalp he’d collected at the wagons, and Kate shuddered. They were all savages, she should know better! Yet Taima insisted his people were different. Her muscles knotted in anger as she yanked on the strap of the pouch she carried.
The mid-day’s sun shone bright in the clear blue sky. A perfect day for travel if not for learning secrets. The ascension up the mountain made Kate’s head throb at the temples, but she said nothing. Those around her didn’t seem affected by the higher altitudes as they continued talking.
Though summer was upon them, the cooler air clung to the higher regions, making Kate glad she’d accepted the long-sleeved doeskin dress. She adjusted the heavy leather pouch on her back and took a cleansing breath of the fresh pine-scented air.
Aiyana touched her arm. “Kate, are you all right?”
“I think I’m going to be sick,” she answered, holding her forehead.
“That happens to those not used to coming into the mountains. Once we start down the other side, you should start to feel better. It won’t be much longer now. We’ll rest there, then continue on and make camp at the lake before the high, jagged mountain peaks.”
Once the group stopped to rest, Kate felt better and ate more of the dried meat and berries. With renewed energy and an easier declining slope, she enjoyed the vast openness. Her heart nearly stopped when she viewed the most beautiful, snow-covered mountains she’d seen thus far. The jagged peaks rose into the clouds. There appeared no end to this creation. Dense pine forests dotted the huge valley nestled between here and the grand, rugged mountains. Below, a herd of elk leisurely meandered through the sagebrush.
She walked on with the group until they made camp for the night at the northern end of the lake. The dense woods along the shoreline gave them protection against the wind. Everyone pitched in to help get bedded down.
* * * * *
Early the next morning, Kate dragged herself from under her warm buffalo hide to begin the last leg of their trip. Her shoulders hurt from carrying the pouch and her leg muscles were stiff from walking. But she refused to utter a word of complaint lest Taima ridicule her for that as well. Instead, she rolled her shoulders backward a few times, hoping to release the tightness.
An hour later, Kate trudged along with the rest of Taima’s people, trying her best to keep up. The land slowly started another incline. She hoped this mountain wouldn’t be as high as the previous one where the altitude had made her nauseous.
Taima kept looking back in her direction then would look away after they had made eye contact.
Now what did he want? He hadn’t bothered to say more than a few words to her since they’d left the lean-tos. Some way of showing her he had feelings for her, she thought with a grumble, which only proved her own theory correct. What did she care? Kate hiked the pouch higher onto her back. It was no secret they disliked each other, so why did Ahanu insist on seeing things in a whole different light?
Aiyana was lucky to have someone as sensitive to her feelings as Ahanu. He seemed to pick up on the way others felt; like a sixth sense. Even the way he caressed Aiyana’s cheek or touched her shoulder told those around him of his love for her.
The only thing Taima’s actions told others was that he cou
ldn’t stand having Kate around. This time when he turned to glance at her, she narrowed her eyes, causing his eyebrows to furrow. She looked away first. Perhaps if she intentionally ignored him, he’d not continue to scowl at her.
Kate played games with the children as they walked on, making the time pass much quicker.
Before she realized the sun had dipped behind the mountain peaks, Taima’s people arrived at a small village of vacant lean-tos positioned near the north end of the second lake they passed. Everyone let out shouts of cheering. At least Kate was not the only one grateful to finally arrive at their destination. A roof over her head this night would at least stop the dew from dampening her hair.
Kelee grasped her hand and led the way to the lean-to he wanted them to use. Taima followed. With a shrug of his shoulder, he approved Kelee’s choice.
“I’m going to catch us some fresh fish for supper while you and Kelee unpack. We’ll be here for five or six sleeps,” Taima said.
“Noshi...I want to go with you.”
Taima glanced at Kate, as if asking her permission. She smiled and shooed him on his way; she could unpack alone. He and Kelee needed time together after such a long journey. She gathered sticks and twigs and a few heavier logs for a cooking fire. Striking two flint stones together, a spark burst into a flame, surprising even her. Matches would have been easier than scrapping these two stones together, Kate mused.
Laughter from Taima’s people drew her attention until she turned to see them watching her. She stood, took a deep bow, then extended her hand toward the blazing fire and they all laughed again.
Their smiling faces touched her heart; a friendly gesture, but she didn’t think it would be possible for her to live among these people. They would never accept her anymore than she could accept their way of living. She turned to add more wood to the fire, then sat down with a long stick, poking at the embers. Thoughts of Taima with another woman crowded her mind. Who could the other woman be that she hadn’t made herself known by now? And exactly what was it about Taima that caught her attention, she wondered.