by Amy Cross
He smiles. Again, his skin crinkles. “The child”.
I step towards him.” What do you know about a child?”
“More than you,” he replies. “But I had the advantage of not being in love with the vampire, so my head wasn't turned. I had time to snoop about”. He grins. “I've seen it. Don't you remember?”
“We're out of here,” Shelley says, sensing my unease and trying to usher me towards the door. But I need to know what Dexter knows, what he knows about me.
“You don't remember that year, do you?” Dexter says. “A whole year spent with Patrick, the man of your dreams. Your belly getting bigger and bigger, and finally giving birth to that... child. And then what happened? He tossed you away like a piece of scrap and he took the child, which was all he'd ever wanted. Now you're alone. Doubly alone, because you have a sense of what is missing. The child whose face you'll never see. And still a prophecy hanging over your head”.
“There's no prophecy,” I say. “There's no such thing”.
“Isn't there?” Dexter asks. “When you first learnt that Patrick is destined to kill you, surely you thought it impossible. But now, the way things are going, don't you see how you and Patrick could end up locked in combat that will only end when one of you is dead? I'm offering you the chance to break that prophecy. Get the child back. I know how to find them. The vampire and the child. I know where they are”.
“What's in it for you?” I ask.
He grins. “I get the vampire. It's all I've ever wanted, to have his body. To cut it open. It's him or you. Do you let him win, kill you and keep the child to raise it as whatever he desires? Or do you take the child, raise it, know it, and let the vampire suffer the consequences of his actions? You and me, together, can do what neither of us can do apart. I can help you get that child back from the vampire, and you can help me get the vampire's body”.
I shake my head. “What makes you think I'd ever help you after what you did?”
“You need me,” he says. He seems confident. “You know the true nature of the vampire now, you know that he doesn't deserve your loyalty. It's okay, he fooled you but hey, he's a vampire. You got your head turned by him, it's totally understandable”.
I back away from him. “Shelley, we're leaving,” I say.
“I saw what he did to your friend,” Dexter says, stopping me in my tracks. “The boy who died in the car crash. I was there. I tried to stop him, but with this old body I couldn't do anything. I tried to pull him out of the car, but the flames were too strong and by the time I got there it was too late. I'm sorry. I really tried”.
“You saw what happened?” I ask.
He nods. Again, his charred skin cracks as he moves. “The vampire leapt out at his car. Forced him off the road. I tried to stop him, I really did, but look at me!” He holds out his ragged, damaged hands. “I can barely walk. What hope did I have of stopping someone as powerful as Patrick?”
Shelley turns to me. “If he really killed Adam -”
“We don't know that,” I say.
“I can prove everything,” Dexter says. “I know we did kind of get off on the right foot before, but things have changed. You've seen the true nature of the vampire now, and I've mellowed. We could be a great team, and I'm the only chance you have if you ever want to see that child”. He grins, waiting for me to answer. “I can help you,” he says. “All I ask is that you help me in return”.
I pause for a moment, trying to decide what to do. I look at Shelley, and I can see in her eyes that she has doubts. But I'm overcome with a desire to rescue this child from Patrick, and to show him that I can't simply be ordered about. Sure, Dexter has been untrustworthy in the past. Hell, I don't imagine he's changed too much since the last time I saw him. But I have a feeling I can handle him. If I can get the child away from Patrick, Dexter can get what he wants, that's fine by me.
“Okay,” I say finally.
“Soph,” says Shelley cautiously, “are you sure about this?”
I nod. “If it's a choice between my child and Patrick, I'm going to choose the child”.
Dexter smiles, and nods. “Excellent,” he says. “The first thing we have to do, is destroy the vampire's home. We have to burn this place to the ground”.
4.
I dream about the war that killed us all.
For the first thousand days, I stood guard at the Bone Emporium, making sure that no-one could cross the Bridge of Brides, pass through the Door of Compassion and enter the Library of Whispers. During that time, I fought and killed countless fellow vampires, some of whom had once been my friends, some of whom had even been my brothers. Even Cassandra attempted to get past me, and I threw her down to the pits of the Eleventh Circle. I was a good soldier, and I knew my role. It's just that, as time passed, I began to question my orders.
Eventually I realised I must take another course. I burned the library to the ground and I set out on foot for Gothos. There, I found a vampire communion engaged in a desperate attempt to encourage the Others to return to our world and fight. But the Others were nowhere to be found, and would not answer any attempts to communicate with them. There was much discussion about whether the Others were ignoring the vampires, or had removed themselves so far that they could not hear our cries, or had simply ceased to exist. I suppose it doesn't matter now: they didn't come, that is all there is to it.
When Gothos fell, and I finally understood what I would have to do, I ran and hid. I spent many years building my own labyrinth and capturing creatures to set loose in its passages. Then I locked the door and roamed alone, lost in a maze of my own construction. But whenever I encountered one of the creatures, they would bow down to me instead of fighting. I ended up slaughtering them all, and it was during this period that my anger grew. I tried to find my way out of the labyrinth, I spent many years roaming before finally I lifted the roof and took myself off to the ruins of Gothos, where I found only ghosts. But ghosts can be good company, so I stayed.
Eventually I left Gothos and, filled with anger, I carved my way through the vampire armies. Those I did not kill, I imprisoned in the Catacombs of New York, and I left them there while I threw myself into the wars of humankind. I fought in some of the deadliest wars of the late 19th century, and I died a thousand deaths only to breathe again.
Finally, I understood what I had to do. I went back to the Catacombs of New York, finally feeling the strength that I always knew would come. I found the Companions of Gothos still chained where I had left them, though their minds were gone. One tried to reason with me, to tell me that there could be another way. But I knew it was too late. We had abused our power and we had stood in the way of humanity long enough. I had in my hands everything that I needed, and I showed it to them. Its light filled the room and the age of the vampires came to an end.
Afterwards, I went to war in a different field of combat. I fought in the First World War, as humans killed one another, and I fought in the Second World War as they did it all again. Then I returned to Dedston, and Vincent showed me the prophecy. I waited, dealing with the left-overs of the vampire wars such as rogue Sentinels, and finally she was born. The one who was destined to play the final role in this story. The one who I have always known will die at my hands. She has fulfilled most of her tasks for me. The child is born, and it is healthy and strong. So there are really only two things left for me to do: I must show Sophie how much I love her, and then I must die so that she can live.
5.
Flames roar up the tunnel and out into the open air of the forest. As smoke rises into the sky, I can't help but worry that we're drawing attention to ourselves unnecessarily. But Dexter says that the first step to tracking down Patrick is to make sure that he can never go back to his old home. So this is important: we have set fire to the house and so now we're watching the flames and smoke roar up the tunnel and out into the forest air. It's shocking to see the place go up like this, but also kind of fitting: there's no going back now.
�
��Fucking arsonist,” Shelley whispers to me.
“I didn't light the match,” I whisper back.
We both turn to Dexter, whose gaze is fixed on the flames.
“So how are you going to do it?” Shelley asks him. “How do you kill a vampire? Stake through the heart? Silver bullets? Sunlight?”
Dexter shakes his head. “I don't want to kill him. I want him alive, to see how the blood flows through his body, to understand how his mind works”. He turns to us. “The question isn't how to kill a vampire. It's how to restrain one”.
Shelley turns to me, with a look on her face that clearly indicates she thinks Dexter is a little insane.
“This won't help us find him,” I say. “Burning his house doesn't mean anything if he's long gone. He could be anywhere”.
“He's close by,” Dexter says. “In the mountains. Don't you remember?”
“I don't remember anything,” I reply. “Where did he take the baby?”
“Nowhere,” Dexter says. “The baby is right where it's always been, where it was born. All that's changed is that you're not there anymore. But we're gonna make him come down and face us”.
“Why don't we just go up there?” I ask. “Can't we go to where they are?”
Dexter shakes his head. “We can't go anywhere near that place. There are too many creatures guarding it. No, we have to trick him into coming down to us, and we can do that. It just takes a little intelligence”.
“We're fucked,” says Shelley.
“There's another chamber under the forest,” Dexter says. “The vampire used it to torture his prisoners. If we go there, we can be ready for him”.
“Like a trap?” I ask.
“If you want to call it that,” he replies.
“Okay,” I say. “But we -”
“I need to talk to you,” Shelley says, grabbing me. She looks at Dexter. “Moment, please”.
Shelley and I walk a little way away.
“Are you sure about this?” she whispers. There's a kind of intensity in the way she talks to me, something I've never seen with Shelley before. She's usually so laidback.
I look over at Dexter. He's far enough away to not be able to hear us. “I'm sure he's lying,” I say. “Totally sure. And I'm sure he's double-crossing us, and I'm sure I can't trust him. But he can help us find Patrick, so I'll go along with it for now”.
“And then what?” she asks.
“Patrick will probably kill Dexter,” I say. “Or Dexter might kill Patrick. Either way, I have a chance to find this baby. And you know what Patrick did to me. Is he really that much worse than Dexter? I can't trust either of them right now”.
Shelley gives me a look that tells me she doesn't quite agree with me but she'll go along with me. “Okay,” she says finally. “But this guy -” She indicates Dexter. “Don't turn your back on him, not even for a second”.
“Don't worry,” I say. “We're just using Dexter to help us find Patrick. Once he's done that, we won't need to worry about him. I've got this under control”.
“Funny,” Shelley says. “I'm pretty sure that's what he thinks about you.
I turn to Dexter. “What do we do now?”
“We go to the chamber and wait,” he says. “There's only one way to trap a vampire, and we have to be careful so that he doesn't turn the trap inside out and use it against us”.
“Before we go,” I say, “I need to know something. What's your real plan with Patrick? Are you going to kill him?”
“I'm going to cut him up,” Dexter replies. “To see how he works. So killing him will be something of a side-effect, but yes, that's the end-game”.
I glance at Shelley for a moment. “Okay,” I say finally. “Let's get this trap set up”.
6.
The child stares up at me, its eyes searching my face, trying to understand. Does it know what I am? Who I am? Or am I just a face, albeit the only face it has really seen? For a moment, I feel there might be some connection between us, but then the child turns and smiles at the woman standing next to me, and it becomes clear that it is for her that the child saves its affection. Perhaps the child senses my cold heart, perhaps it senses the truth about my destiny. Either way, it is clear that the child feels nothing in particular for me. I turn away.
A father who looks after his child, who raises the child and teaches it how to live, who shows it care and love, is a rare thing. As this child's father, I know I will be little more than a memory. It will never know its father or its mother, and in this regard at least it will be very much like most of us. It will be many years before it understands what has happened, and why. But when the child turns thirteen, it will become a vampire and it will cease to ask these questions. And it will be at that moment that the child will take my burden and I will finally be able to sleep for eternity.
“It's a girl,” says the woman, standing beside me.
I turn to her, puzzled, not sure if I've heard her correctly.
“You have a daughter,” she says. She smiles. “It occurred to me, Patrick, that this is the kind of small detail you might have overlooked. Your child is a girl, and she will grow up to become a woman, not a man. Do you understand what this means?”
I look down at the child. It never occurred to me that it would be a girl. I just assumed... I assumed I would have a son, that the next vampire would be a man. But a female? This complicates things.
“I know why you forced this child,” the woman says. “I know why you yearned to have someone who could one day take your place. Because of what you did at the end of the war, there can only be one vampire on Earth at any one moment. And you plan to wait for this child to reach the age of adulthood and become that vampire, so that you can finally allow yourself to die. This child is your suicide note, isn't she?” She sighs. “But Patrick... that strategy will only work if the child is born of a union forged in true love. Whoever the child's mother is, do you truly love her?”
I nod slowly, still trying to take in the news that the child is a girl. How did this happen?
“When the child turns thirteen,” the woman says, “she will become a vampire, but until then she will be just a normal child and there is no need to hide her away from her mother. I know it was your natural instinct to do this, but perhaps you should let the child know its parents. After all, do you really want your child to suffer the way that you suffered? Your father never saw you, and your mother... well...” She puts an arm on my shoulder. “Your mother did what she had to do, and Hanmar looked after you with great care and kindness, but a child needs its parents. Are you really ready to take this child's parents away, the way yours were taken? She would be a very unnecessary orphan”.
I stare at the child. Whenever I have thought of my child becoming the next vampire, roaming the planet, I have always pictured a man very much in my own image. But now I am faced with a girl, and I find that I cannot imagine how she could possibly live the kind of life that I endure. What should I do? Should I abandoned the child in the snow and try again, hoping this time for a male? Looking down at her right now, she looks so weak and fragile. How can a girl possibly do that things that I do?
“I won't allow you to kill this child, Patrick,” the woman says. “Do whatever else you wish to do, but you will not kill her. She is born now, and she is who she is. You will have to find a way to accept her”.
The woman leaves me alone with the child for a while. I have nothing to do or say, so I simply wait for her to return, though I do take a moment to carve something into the wood of the child's crib. There are not many things that I can do for this child, not many sacrifices I can make or promises I can keep. Even if I help her, she's too young to remember. All of this, the nightmare of everything, will eventually be forgotten.
By the time the woman returns, I am ready to return to Dedston and deal with Sophie. There are so many questions she will want me to answer, and so many that I must make sure she never asks.
The woman wraps the child up in prepar
ation for their journey. I watch solemnly, knowing that it will be many years before I see this child again... if at all.
“Before I take her away, Patrick,” says the woman when she is ready to leave, “you must name the child”.
I turn to her. Doesn't she understand?
“Don't make me name her,” she continues. “You're her father, at least give her a name. At least let me be able to tell her that her father chose her name”.
I look down at the crib.
“You must -” the woman starts to say, but then she sees what I'm looking at. At the top of the crib, scratched into the wood, is the name I have already chosen. The woman looks at me, alarm and shock in her eyes. “Patrick, are you sure that's the name you want to give the child?”
I nod.
“Patrick, think carefully. A name is a part of our destiny, it's who we are and it defines our lives. If you give the child this name... Do you realise what the child will have to do? You're committing this child to a life of -” She stops, and just stares at me. “Won't you reconsider?”
I look down at the child, then I reach into the crib and touch her shoulder for a moment. Then, finally, I turn and walk away, out of the cave and into the snow. The child will be fine with the woman, and she will learn to live with the name that I have given her. She might even learn to forgive me. But my role is done. I will not see the child again. I must go to find Sophie, and I must sacrifice myself so that the prophecy never comes true. I walk into the snow, knowing that the woman and the child are watching my back as I disappear into the white haze.
7.
“How many prisoners did he keep down here?” Shelley asks, poking the manacles that hang from the stone wall of the underground chamber.
“A dozen or so,” says Dexter, who is busy using chalk to write strange letters onto the wall by the door. “He brought some of the most important vampires here and he tortured them for decades before he finally slaughtered them”.