He put his arm back around my shoulders and we say in silence for a minute before he spoke. ‘It’s not stupid Al. You had your whole life planned out before we finished year eight. Maybe it was a little crazy but it was your dream all the same. And you chased that dream, you worked so hard for it. It’s not your fault you couldn’t see it through –’
‘It is though Jai!’ I interrupted. ‘It’s my body that’s decided to stop working like it should. It’s my stupid heart that doesn’t beat properly, my heart that can’t pump blood properly, my lungs that can’t seem to get enough air and my body that gets tired when I do too much.’ I saw the concern flash across his face for a second when I said that but it was gone as quick as it came, replaced by empathy.
‘But that’s not your fault,’ he told me. ‘You have a heart disease Alia. You have no control over that. There is no rhyme or reason to it. They’ve done all kinds of research and studies and they still can’t be sure of the cause of it. And it sucks Al, it really fucking sucks. But that’s just life; you know that better than anyone. Life is hard and unfair and it’s shit. But we keep going, we keep living. Because there’s always something good to live for. Even when you get blindsided and you get thrown completely off track; your plans get tossed and there’s no directions or handbook and you have to take a detour, maybe even drive on some unpaved roads, dirt paths. But, no matter how bumpy the road gets, you still keep going, so long as your car’s got fuel.
‘And that’s what you’re doing. You are living. And, okay, sure, you could have kept going with the pan and hoped for the best and maybe it would’ve worked. Or maybe all the stress would’ve overwhelmed you and you’d be on the operating table before the end of first term. Besides, think about it, when else are you going to get to do things like this? You always used to say you wanted to go on adventures and I’d say we’re doing a pretty good job of that, yeah? You wouldn’t have time or opportunity to do it later in life, no matter how much you plan.’
‘Well, when you put it that way…’ I trailed off, unable to find an argument with his logic – which, of course, was exactly what he’d been hoping for.
‘Don’t you go trying to find some kind of hole in my logic because you know there isn’t one,’ he said, proving me right. ‘So get yourself out of your head, stop thinking about what-ifs and could’ve-beens and start thinking about all the things we’re gonna do over the next couple of weeks!’ His excitement was palpable, contagious, and I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face.
Unsurprisingly, Jai’s words were practically an echo of my own thoughts but hearing it from him instead of inside my own head made it much harder to dismiss the positives and focus on the negatives. As he always did, Jai had managed to calm my overactive brain, giving me some space in there to focus on something other than all the missed possibilities.
For the first time since we’d booked the plane tickets, I actually let myself think about how we’d spend our time in India. I started making a list in my head and turned to Jai to share it with him after a minute, only to see that he had a very familiar, black, linen-bound notebook open, his Parker fountain pen in hand as he scrawled away, jotting down anything from his thoughts to story ideas.
With a fond smile, I untucked myself from his side and sat back in my seat, picking up my book and thumbing through it till I found my bookmark. Slipping the photo that held my place into the back cover, I reached a hand up to switch my headphones on, waiting for the familiar little chime that let me know they’d connected to my phone and hitting play.
I settled myself in a little more comfortably, pulling my feet up to rest on the seat beneath me and let the music wash over me as I got lost in the book in front of me.
***
After nearly ten hours in the air, six of which I’d spent sleeping, the pilot announced that we’d soon be landing. I’d just woken up when the announcement sounded so it took a couple of minutes to register. When it did, I nudged Jai, getting a sleepy groan and incoherent mumble from him. ‘Jai, wake up!’
‘Five more minutes,’ he muttered.
‘The plane’s about to land, get up.’ At that, he sat up, blinking his eyes open and rubbing at them sleepily.
I had to stifle a laugh at seeing him do that; he looked so very young when he first woke up, it was difficult to believe we were really old enough to be here by ourselves.
Once he’d wiped the sleep out of his eyes, Jai moved his hands away from his face and turned to look at me. I composed myself and smiled. ‘So, you ready for an adventure?’ I asked.
He started to nod but stopped and shook his head instead. ‘I need breakfast before we go on any adventures.’
Chapter Thirty-two
Jai
We spent an amazing two weeks in India. Of course, two weeks wasn’t enough time to do everything – hell, it was barely enough time to cover Mumbai with all the family members we had to see. But still, we managed to cover a decent amount – and we ticked some stuff off of Alia’s bucket list which was the most important part.
There had only been one thing on the list that we had been planning on doing in India – watch Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge at Maratha Mandir – but we managed to tick off a few other things too.
Turned out Alia’s mama was a pretty cool guy – and he was pretty well connected too. Not only did the guy still ride a motorbike – which, by the way, not easy to do on the streets of Mumbai, I discovered – but he also surfed.
Alia had shown her mama her bucket list the night after we landed. When he found out that one of the things on there was to go surfing, he’d laughed a little – understandable considering how clumsy Alia can be at times. But, once he realised she was serious, he told her he could take her out on the water, show her the ropes. ‘Seriously?’ she asked.
‘Yeah, why not? I usually go out on the weekend anyway, I don’t see why you can’t come with me. So long as you don’t get too worn out by exercise?’ he asked, familiar with symptoms of heart problems thanks to the Merchant family history of heart attacks. At Alia’s assurance that she was alright with it at the moment, he nodded. ‘Then we’ll go out on the water this weekend. Vaise, where are you going to go surfing in England?’
‘He has a point, Li. Nottingham doesn’t really have anywhere to be catching waves – unless you fancy going surfing on the Trent,’ I agreed, chuckling at the face she made at that.
‘As appealing as that sounds, I think I’d rather not thanks,’ she said. ‘Besides, I’m not even sure that’s legal.’
‘Yeah, probably not,’ I laughed.
‘So, what d’you say then? The two of you can come down to the beach with me on Sunday and I can show you how to stay upright on a board – hopefully.’
‘No fair mama, I’m not all that clumsy!’ Alia exclaimed.
‘Arre, who said I was talking about you? Mr. Tall-and-lanky here doesn’t exactly have a surfer’s build,’ he said with a laugh.
‘Hey, I’m not lanky!’ I protested.
‘Hmm, I suppose not. Guess I’m still thinking of the dorky little kid you were at thirteen,’ he teased, getting a chuckle from Alia. I huffed in fake annoyance and narrowed my eyes at them both.
‘Oh stop acting all annoyed Jai-Jai. You were a gangly thirteen-year-old and you know it,’ Alia told me with an eyeroll. ‘But you’ve grown into your height; now you’re a tall, well-built dork.’
‘Thank y- hey! I’m not a dork!’
‘If you say so,’ uncle said, trying and failing to hide his laughter.
‘And I thought dealing with Li was annoying,’ I mumbled, just about loud enough for the two of them to hear, receiving identical eye rolls.
But, luckily for me, they didn’t have time to come up with any kind of retort before Alia’s mami called us for dinner.
***
That Sunday morning, we went down to the beach.
To my surprise, Alia turned out to be a lot better at surfing than I was – though, to be honest, I have to
admit that really wasn’t saying too much. Probably the only thing more surprising than Alia managing to keep her balance on the board more than 60% of the time was the number of times I fell off.
After wiping out for the umpteenth time, I decided to take a break, choosing to lounge about on the sand and watch my best friend and her uncle ride the waves.
***
We stayed at the beach until the sky grew dark.
Apart from the few ten minute rest and water breaks they took, Alia and Amin uncle stayed in the water until after midday – and, even then, it took the promise of fresh seyri nu rus, paani puri and ice cream to convince Alia to put up the board for the day.
After a lunch made up entirely of street food and snacks from beachside vendors, we walked up and down the beach until Alia spotted a couple buckets and spades lying in the sand. ‘Reckon those belong to anyone?’ she asked me.
‘I dunno, maybe,’ I shrugged, all too aware of what she was thinking.
‘Probably not,’ Amin uncle chimed in. ‘People are always leaving beach toys behind. Saasta maal che ane aya toh badai dukaan ma maleche… they’re cheap, easy to find. Why tote them around when you can just get another set?’ he asked with distaste, glaring at the plastic toys as though they’d personally offended him.
‘Toh, what I’m getting her is that, most likely, they don’t belong to anyone?’ Alia questioned just to make sure.
‘Probably not, no,’ her uncle confirmed, looking at her curiously. ‘Why?’
‘Well, because if they don’t belong to anyone, we can use them,’ she told him, unable to hold back the wide grin that came across her face. Her mama barely had the time to register what that meant before she’d taken off down the beach.
‘Arre, aste ja jo! Padi jawano cho tu!’ he called after her. ‘Slow down before you fall!’
‘Uncle, when it comes to playing, Alia has no slow setting,’ I told him with a laugh as I watched her flip-flop clad feet flying over the sand. After a minute, I ended up running after her without entirely meaning to, unable to help myself. Before we knew it, uncle was joining us too, the three of us racing to the sand toys/
Alia reached it first, her head start and sand-sensible shoes giving her the advantage. But even the impressive traction on her sandals couldn’t stop her from being her not-so-agile self; right as she reached the bucket, she tripped over her own feet, skidding a second, arms wind-milling before she landed on her ass in the sand.
Me and uncle both slowed to a stop, looking at her in concern. For a second, the three of us just looked at each other and then Alia burst out laughing. Me and uncle both followed suit, chortling as we dropped to the ground beside he. ‘So, what’re we making?’ I asked as the laughter died down.
‘Hmm, I dunno, how ‘bout the biggest sandcastle we’ve ever made?’ she suggested excitedly. I exchanged a look with uncle, both of us amused, before shrugging as we decided we may as well indulge her, each of us picking up a spade and beginning to fill a bucket.
***
I won’t lie, we managed to build a pretty impressive sand castle. We accidentally built it too close to the surf so it only lasted about three minutes once it was built before the tide came in far enough to reach it, completely wiping out the foundation and making the entire thing to fall over but I managed to get a picture first at least.
As I looked up from the crumbling structure, I completely froze, unwilling to move at all, not wanting to tear my gaze from the amazing sight in front of me.
The sun was setting over the water, the sky tinged with pinks, oranges and reds. It looked like the sun was sinking into the ocean and, with the way the sky was reflected in the drink, the rolling waves making the colours dance, it seemed as though the slowly setting sun was setting the water ablaze.
I couldn’t tell you how long I stood there, watching the sky change colours and the ocean copying it, roiling with fire-crested waves. The view was… beyond words really, and I didn’t even try to find them as I stood, completely entranced.
I probably could’ve stayed rooted to the spot until the sun finally sunk below the waves, wondering if it would ever be possible to get that image perfectly on camera or canvas or any kind of medium really. But my thoughts were interrupted by Alia coming up beside me, nudging me gently as she asked, ‘would this be an appropriate time to play Suraj Hua Maddham?’
***
Our second and last week in India passed quickly, probably because we were having too much fun to notice the time passing.
The first two days of the week went in travelling to Kota and back, spending a day at the park where there were models of the seven wonders of the world on display to see in one place. We went to Gujarat in the first week so, once we got back to Mumbai, we spent the rest of the second week exploring the city with Alia’s cousin, Ayaan, who’d come back from his business trip on Sunday night. He took us to see the sights that weren’t in any kind of guide book, the ones you’d only know about if you were local.
We went shopping with him too – which was actually pretty fun despite how much I whined about it; I found some pretty cool stuff that I’m not sure I’d have seen anywhere else. Of course, he refused to let us pay for anything but I knew better than to argue more than once. He even took us past some actor’s houses, though, of course, we didn’t see any of them there.
That’s not to say we didn’t see any actors at all during our trip.
Amin uncle had pulled some strings with some very well-connected friends of his and managed to get us onto the set of a film – where Alia got to tick meet somebody famous of her list.
I’m not going to describe how that went down –
Alia
Only because you don’t want to admit you completely fanboyed too!
Jai
- but let’s just say she got to meet her all-time celebrity mega crush. If you know Hindi cinema, you’ll probably know who I’m talking about. If you don’t, well, we’ll call it the Bollywood equivalent of meeting Robert Downey Jr.
Of course, all that stuff was during the day. Nights were a different story.
Every night we wound up at a different relative’s house. The names of all the aunts, uncles and cousins got a little muddled but, despite the sheer size of the extended Sharma/Merchant families, the nights were just as fun as the days. They were spent eating, talking, singing and playing cards – more often than not on a rooftop or terrace.
The time flew by in what felt like the blink of an eye and, before we even had the time to wonder where all the time had gone, it was our last night in India – the only night we didn’t spend talking and playing cards.
Instead, we spent the night the same we had two weeks ago. Only this time it wasn’t the Sharma living room in Blidworth we were sat in as we packed and repacked suitcases until we managed to find a place for everything.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Alia
The first few days after we got back were spent unpacking, distributing the multitude of gifts we’d brought back and resting.
Once we’d managed to catch up on the sleep we’d missed out on during our two weeks of all-nighters, we went back to the bucket list. ‘What’s next?’ Jai asked me, looking over the list while I stuck pictures of our trip into the scrapbook.
‘Well nothing with travel, that’s for sure,’ I told him, fully aware that I wouldn’t be up to anymore out-of-country trips for a while.
‘Paris, Amsterdam and Iceland are outta the question then,’ he said putting little crosses by them. ‘Holi isn’t for another few months, camping in winter sounds like a bad idea, I’m yet to find a place you can hold a monkey and there’s nobody either of us’d be interested in at any of the comic-cons coming up,’ he listed, ticking each item off on his fingers as he spoke. ‘Any book signings coming up?’
‘None I wanna go to till April.’
‘Guess that’s a no then.’ He scanned over the list again, running his finger down the page till he landed on one. ‘How abou
t a Bollywood movie marathon?’
‘You know, I think that’s a winner.’
***
It took us a couple of days to narrow down the list of films – bizarrely, we’d never done a Bollywood marathon before so figuring out which films made the cut was, unsurprisingly, difficult.
Once we’d managed to get the list down to a decent number, we turned Jai’s sitting room into a giant quilt castle, stocked up on snacks and holed ourselves up for the weekend, completely prepared to spend forty-eight hours in filmiville.
***
When we’d ticked the marathon off the list, we moved onto what was possibly the most ambitious task on there: redesigning my room.
It seemed a little silly to redo my room when I hadn’t a clue how much longer I’d be needing it in all reality. But I’d been wanting to do it forever and I was determined to get it done, even if there was every chance I wouldn’t be around too long to enjoy it once it was done.
We spent hours looking at colour samples, figuring it out if we could rearrange the furniture and maybe paint it too. Jai – with the artistic talent he so rarely liked to showcase – came up with a mural for one wall, managing to combine bits and pieces from all my favourite fandoms into a piece of art that flowed perfectly, fir together seamlessly despite the fact that maybe it shouldn’t. ‘It might take me a while to do it,’ he told me when he showed me the page in his sketchbook, ‘but I reckon I could get it done. I’ve only ever done one other thing on such a big canvas, so to speak, and the room was empty when I did it. But, once it’s done, I reckon it’ll look –’
‘Amazing,’ I said before he could. ‘It’s beautiful Jai, thank you.’
Have a Heart Page 18