All except Valerie.
Brad asked why she wasn’t eating. “I’m too keyed up to eat. I’d just throw it all up.”
“Why don’t you try?”
“No, I really can’t. Water’s all I can handle right now.”
Brad worried. She’d need to eat something or she’d have no energy, not under the hot lights. Her nerves alone would burn up what reserves she’d have. “Come on, Val. Just a little something.”
She took a deep breath. “I’ll eat later…maybe after we rehearse.”
He started to nod. Then he said, “Do you maybe want something different to eat?”
“No, thanks, though.”
Damn. He hoped the guys would hurry. They were having fun, though, and they were used to performing. They all still got anxious too, but it was old hat now. They’d done it enough that it wasn’t scary. He remembered that feeling, though. He’d never forget it. It was intense. He said, “Guys, let’s hurry, okay? Val’s wanting to try us out.”
Instead of giving her grief or making her feel bad about it, they nodded and focused on eating. Apparently, Brad wasn’t the only one who remembered the first show. Unlike the guys, however, Val hadn’t even had the pleasure of extended practices. It was going to all be new. He was glad the guys seemed to appreciate that, because they were respectful…and quick. Val got up and cleaned the skillet, pan, and spatulas while the guys finished up their food. They all loaded their dishes in the dishwasher and then headed out to the garage to play.
The first couple of songs were shaky. The music was okay, but Val was feeling lost. Brad approached her. “Relax. You got this.” She nodded and gulped, and he knew she wasn’t feeling it. She was starting to worry.
Another problem, though, was that Ethan and Nick were in some kind of pissing contest. Ethan started it by saying something snotty to Nick, and Nick was bristling and glaring. It was continuing through the music, but because Brad hadn’t heard any of the words the guys had initially exchanged, he couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t prevent it from escalating because he didn’t know what had started it. Well, he could, but then they’d probably be pissed at him. He hoped they’d both chill out and just focus on the music.
After about an hour of the muted undertones of irritation, Ethan hit a sharp note, getting everyone’s attention. Then he turned around and yelled. “Goddammit. What the fuck are you doing, Nick?”
Brad saw what their arguing was doing to Val. It was taking her nervousness and turning it into full-blown worry. The guys would work through it, but Val was going to freeze up if they didn’t reassure her—that and she was going to wear herself out for a simple rehearsal. So he walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. “You’re doing a great job, Val, but don’t sing at top capacity. You need to save your voice for tonight. No need to impress us. Just do what you gotta do to feel comfortable, and drink lots of water.” She nodded, picking her water bottle up off the floor and downing a few gulps.
Then Brad turned to Ethan and Nick. Ethan stood at the drum kit, close enough that he could grab Nick by the collar if he’d wanted to. “You’re fucking up the song, Nick.”
Brad turned and said, “Shut the fuck up, guys. Work through it. Val wants to go through the set twice, and we’re never gonna get it done if you keep this shit up.” Ethan wasn’t budging, though. He was over at the drum kit hovering, and Nick was standing too, puffing out his chest. Nick might have been a quiet guy, but he wasn’t backing down from Ethan’s challenge.
Neither guy was backing down. Both wanted to save face. Ethan was a hothead and he got himself into trouble with his mouth all the time. It was something Brad was used to. Hell, he knew the guys were used to it too, but Ethan was pushing Nick’s buttons. It was typical Ethan, but the good news was his friend was sober right now, so even though he was being ruled by testosterone, he wasn’t being fueled by senseless chemicals. He might listen to reason. So Brad walked over to Ethan and put his hand on his friend’s shoulder while looking him in the eye. Ethan continued staring at Nick for a few moments before backing up. He didn’t look at Brad—wouldn’t, in fact, but he was backing down, and that was all Brad wanted. If the guy needed to make a huge display so as to not look weak, so be it. As long as they didn’t go to blows, he didn’t care how it resolved itself.
Still…Val was beside herself, and their antics weren’t helping. As Ethan backed away, Brad said, “This practice isn’t for you guys. It’s for Val. Let’s give her what she needs.”
Brad had to give Ethan credit. For the remainder of the set, he kept his mouth shut. Brad could tell he was getting pissed at what he perceived Nick was doing with the percussion. He couldn’t hear anything different, but he knew once in a while Nick liked to try new things, and he was okay with it. That was how they would evolve, and Nick was a damn good drummer. The guy had unbelievable stamina and, as far as rhythm went, he was creative and liked to try different techniques to see if they’d make a song better.
When they were done going through the set once, Brad could tell his entire band was frustrated as hell. Tensions were high. Val looked like she was ready to cry. Brad could see it written all over her face—she was regretting joining the band and was feeling overwhelming doubt. “Break time.”
Zane said, “Didn’t you want to go through this once or twice?”
“First off, we hardly ate any breakfast. I’m starving. And Val needs to eat something. But we need some time to relax. If you all want to go do your own thing, I’m cool with that, but we need to focus, and we need to get our heads on straight. When we come back here, we need to be ready to work together. If we can’t do it here, how can we do it tonight?” Everyone seemed to mutter a general consensus. “If we want to go to lunch together, I’ll buy.”
The guys agreed, and Ethan even stuck out his hand to Nick. Nick shook and Brad breathed a sigh of relief inside. He knew it was normal, but they didn’t need to be doing their primal shit during Val’s first rehearsal. They needed to wait until she’d settled in a little bit. But they must have worked it all out, because they all enjoyed lunch and had fun together, laughing and joking as though nothing had happened earlier in the morning.
Val even ate a small salad. Brad wasn’t going to pressure her. He was just glad she’d eaten something. And when they returned to rehearse the second time, it was much better. Ethan had taken something and so he wasn’t as edgy. Brad didn’t think that was a good way to do it, but he was glad his friend wasn’t as aggressive. He could see relief in Val’s eyes after they finished the set. He didn’t care how the guys felt—if she needed another run through the set one more time, they were gonna do it, no matter what personal pain the guys felt because of it.
He approached her, wanting to know. “How do you feel now?”
She smiled. “Much better.”
“Good to go?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I think so,”
Brad raised his voice. “Okay, guys, let’s break for ten minutes. Have a quick drink. Ethan, if you need to smoke, now’s the time to do it. In five, we’ll start packing everything up.” In the meantime, Brad went outside to hook the trailer up to the van. He was glad that they continued getting along as they loaded up their equipment, gear, and personal stuff.
Before they left, Brad asked Val, “Are you wanting to wear that for the concert?”
“Are there places to change before the show at the venue?”
“Sometimes there are and other times there aren’t. I haven’t been to this place before, so I’m not sure. You might want to change now, just to be sure.”
When she stepped out of the bathroom wearing her outfit, he thought he was going to have a heart attack. She was wearing skin-tight black leather pants with black leather boots that went up to her knees. The t-shirt, though…that’s what made the outfit. It was red and snug and there were holes ripped in it, showing off little glimpses of skin here and there, and on sweet little Valerie, it looked super hot. It was difficult keeping himself fo
cused and his jaw closed.
Maybe they could spend some time together after the show tonight. The other guys, as usual, would be looking to score, and maybe he and Val could find an out-of-the-way place to hang out for a while. With her being a virgin, he didn’t intend to put on any pressure, but he’d sure love to kiss her more and hold her close.
Nick’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “Val, you look great.”
Zane’s comment made Brad feel a little monster well up inside his chest. “God, you look hot.” But the guy was right.
And he had a little something to say about it too. He couldn’t help the sly smirk that crossed his face when he said, “Nice…I like the skin.”
And then Ethan. Goddamn Ethan. Why couldn’t the guy stop toying with Val’s heart? “We gonna have to beat the guys off with a stick?”
Val, however, didn’t seem impressed. They made their way to the van, placing their personal items inside as well, and Ethan started to get in the passenger seat. Apparently, his friend hadn’t learned from last weekend that shotgun was now Val’s seat…and he’d just have to get used to it. “No way, man. Val’s sitting there. From now on, that seat belongs to our muse.” Yeah, so he was pissed, but he’d get over it.
The trip was long, and once they made it to the eastern slope of Colorado, the weather was warmer, so they opened all the windows and felt like they were getting a beating. They joked and laughed some, because Brad was trying to make Val relax, and he thought putting a smile on her face might work. When that didn’t seem to help, he turned up the music, and they’d all sing for a while. Then he realized that was a stupid idea, because he wanted her to rest her voice.
He turned the music down again and heard Nick talking to Zane. Ethan was sleeping, his head resting on the back of the seat. Nick was a funny guy, so he hoped maybe he could make Val laugh. And he was obviously telling one of his stories. When he looked in the rearview mirror, he saw Zane’s eyebrows raised, and he had a huge grin on his face.
“Seriously, dude, I don’t know why she wanted me. She was all like Teach me, teacher. Well, shit. She’s goin’ down on me, what the fuck else am I gonna say? ‘Oh, no, really, sweetheart. I think you should try a banana instead’.” At that point, Zane started laughing. Brad looked in the rearview mirror again, and Nick was selling it. He was mimicking grave sincerity in his eyes first, and then he was pretending to be a girl peeling a banana and giving said banana a blowjob. He smiled too but then decided he’d better gauge Valerie’s sense of humor.
She looked distracted. She wasn’t offended, but he started to think she wasn’t even listening.
Nick continued. “And fuck me. I thought she was gonna eat me like a big turkey leg. She looked like she was gonna fuckin’ tear into my meat like I was her last meal. So I screamed like a seven-year-old girl.”
Zane busted a gut at that point. He wasn’t able to catch his breath. When he stopped laughing, he said, “I would have paid to see that shit.”
“Anyway, man, she made short work of me.”
“I’ll bet she did.”
“That’s not what I meant, cocksucker.” Zane broke out into peals of laughter again. “I jizzed harder than I ever have. Seriously—I think it was the initial fear that made it so fucking intense.” Zane was still chuckling when Nick said, “I was looking down on her. She’d been chewing this big wad of gum, and I guess she forgot about it. I was looking down and saw that this big fucking hunk of pink gum was stuck in her hair. I guess she didn’t feel it, but I knew she was gonna freak if she couldn’t get it out. And I was spent, man, but I had to tell her. So I said, ‘Hey…there’s some gum in your hair.’ And she looked up at me, all smiling and shit. I think she must have watched a porn movie or two, you know, ‘cause she looked like she wanted to slap her face with my dick and squirt my jizz all over it. And she goes, ‘Oh, honey, haven’t you seen There’s Something about Mary? Cum is good for your hair’.” Zane started laughing again. “What the fuck was I supposed to say to that? So I just smiled.”
“Goddamn, why can’t I find chicks like that?”
Valerie turned her head at Zane’s statement. Brad was pretty sure it was because Zane had been dating her roommate for a while, and Val didn’t like that he was asking for a stupid slutty girl when he had had the opportunity to date a girl who was sweet and innocent like Val. So…as entertaining as he was finding the conversation, he figured he’d better turn the music on for Val’s peace of mind and hope she wouldn’t sing. If he had to, he’d pop in an As I Lay Dying CD or Suicide Silence or something like that that Val would find it hard to sing to. That would be the ace up his sleeve if he needed to play it.
When they got to Colorado Springs, Brad stopped at Burger King. “Let’s grab a bite to eat.”
As they piled out of the van, Val said, “I’m too nervous. I can’t.”
Brad lowered his head at her. “You sure that’s it? I can buy.”
“Yeah. I have plenty of money. I just…can’t do it. I’m way too nervous and my stomach’s upset.”
“I know, Val, but you gotta eat.” She shook her head. “Val…if you don’t, you’re not gonna have the energy you need. Eat something.”
She sighed but got a chicken sandwich meal and ate half of the food before she couldn’t eat anymore. Ethan seemed somewhat lucid and ordered a full meal. That was a good sign. He was messing around on his phone, and halfway through dinner said, “Bradley, did you know if you went up 285, we could have saved at least an hour of driving time?”
Brad blinked twice. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I wasn’t even thinking about it, since we came this way last weekend.”
“You’ll probably save gas money that way too.”
“I’ll remember that next time.”
Over an hour later, they had reached their destination, and they were unpacking the van and trailer and setting up the stage. Val still looked nervous, but having tasks to do seemed to help keep her calm. If she’d been a little older, Brad might have suggested taking a small drink to calm her nerves. When she didn’t have anything to do, she’d shake her hands as though trying to wake them up. Once or twice, he rubbed her shoulders, trying to help her relax.
They were set up and the guys were doing sound checks and tuning guitars. Val was offstage, and Brad figured it was because she wasn’t ready to be watched yet. He’d glance offstage once in a while and catch her pacing or muttering to herself, and he thought she was going over the songs, reassuring herself that she knew the words. He was certain that once she started going, she’d be fine, but until then, she was going to be anxious. It was a fear of the unknown, of not knowing if the audience would accept her and love her. Brad knew they would, but Valerie would take a little more convincing.
Ethan walked offstage wearing his guitar. He approached Val. Brad couldn’t tell what he was saying—he was too far away—but the mood Val was in, the guy was probably going to get it with both barrels.
From where Brad stood, he could tell that whatever Ethan was saying, Val was listening. He was glad. Maybe she needed to hear a pep talk from Ethan.
He changed his mind when Ethan slid his guitar so it hung on his back, and he pulled Val close to kiss her hard and passionately. Brad felt his jaw go slack, his eyelids lower…
and his heart sink.
It sunk because Val wasn’t pushing Ethan away. She didn’t even try. Ethan’s lips let go of hers and then she wound her fingers into his hair, pulling his mouth back to hers.
Fuck.
So much for spending time alone with her. Now Brad felt like his nerves were in a bundle. And there wasn’t a goddamn thing he could do about it.
They stopped kissing again and shared a few more intimate words, and then Ethan turned, pulling his guitar back around, swaggering back onstage. Val only had eyes for Ethan then, and they were glued to the guy…until they looked at Brad.
She looked—guilty, maybe? Or maybe more like a frightened rabbit? Brad took a deep breath. He knew he did
n’t look angry, but maybe he looked hurt or betrayed. There wasn’t a damn thing he could do about that.
Val got a shocked look on her face and freaked out, bolting for the outside door.
She was losing her dinner, but Brad felt like he’d lost his heart.
Chapter Twenty-four
THE FIRST SONG was a little shaky, mainly due to vocals. Val’s nervousness could be heard in her voice, a little high-pitched and thin, but as she continued, she gained confidence. By the end of the song, her voice was strong, and by the time they were on the third one, she sounded like a pro. Midway through the set, she was moving around and stirring up the audience. Just as Brad had always known, she was a natural.
He was so proud of her and loved watching her. And the stage was where he always felt like he should be, but inside…inside his heart was breaking.
Still, he was happy for Val, because that night, he watched her blossom. She’d been a shy little bud on a vine, and with the shower of the bright lights and adoration of the crowd, he watched her open up and grow right before his eyes.
He tried not to let it bother him. Val was still his friend, and he knew they would always be close. There was just something between them, something intangible and hard to explain. They clicked. They appreciated and understood each other.
But, God, he was pissed at Ethan. What the hell was wrong with his friend? It was almost as if the guy didn’t want Val to be happy…like he wanted her to suffer. Or maybe he was feeling miffed because, instead of the constant adoration Val used to shower on him, now she was giving him eye daggers.
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