“What should we sing next?” Chris asked.
“How about ‘Silent Night’?” Gracie suggested, and Chris started right in. I smiled, happy to be with some of my favorite people on the planet.
Chapter Two
I STILL WASN’T used to being treated like royalty. It was so not me and yet…there it was. We had valet parking, but first a couple of bellhops loaded up two rolling carts with all the shit we just had to bring with us. Sure, clothing for a week. Makeup and toiletries. Toys for the kids. Diapers for Hayley. Presents for our pretend Christmas. But had Brad and I really needed to bring our guitars and a laptop? All our shit looked decadent next to Gracie’s two small pieces of luggage.
Instead of being punished for going overboard, we had people fawning all over us. It didn’t hurt that Brad was loose with the cash. Before we headed inside, I looked at the surroundings. My God, what a beautiful place. The hotel itself was amazing, with perfectly sculptured plant life that I knew must have been gorgeous during the spring, summer, and even fall, but now it was all buried under snow. The hotel itself was beautiful, with modern architecture that made me think of the Swiss Alps. Even though I’d never been to that part of Europe, I had a definite image in my mind of what might be reminiscent of that place, and this hotel captured those sorts of details, all while feeling quite modern. And the stonework—from the paths that I could see to the raised flowerbeds that were all created using stone—took my breath away.
But nature itself rivaled what man had built. The evergreens stood proudly under a fresh coat of snow and the mountains hulked over our insignificance. The skies were gray, telling me we’d arrived just in time. I would be surprised if we didn’t get more snow here overnight. Part of me was excited, because I knew my kids would love it. We’d have to do a lot outside when the sun was out. I wondered if the resort would frown on us if we built a snowman in the middle of their planned beauty.
Of course, I’d been feeling the money ever since we’d passed Silverthorne. The ski resorts along I-70 catered to the rich—or, at least, the upper middle class who wanted to feel like one of the top tier—and it was evident. Vail had a huge golf course, for starters, but there was a feel in the air that I couldn’t deny. It wasn’t like other ski areas I was familiar with in Colorado, ones where regular people—people like me—frequented. They loved skiing, and they’d spend money on the gear and the trip, but it was one of those things—they’d gather up their buddies and go for the day, heading back at night and then planning their next trip. These places felt like they weren’t just about skiing. They were about a literal home away from home, and I would realize that even more once I was able to check out the village just a little way farther up the hill.
Gracie, the kids, and I sat on plush furniture in the lobby while Brad checked us in at the desk. Poor Gracie looked exhausted. Her long blonde hair—always curly and a bit unruly but absolutely gorgeous—was piled on her head in an informal bun, and her makeup was flawless as always, but her green eyes belied her fatigue. I hoped she’d had a great time the night before, and I planned not to press her into heavy-duty service today. It wasn’t that we needed her hardcore anyway, but having her along wasn’t a bad idea. She could help here and there, and I would be grateful for that. No, the times we would really need her would be when Val Hella would tour in a few months. We’d hired her when we finally decided to move forward with having me start a band. Rather than have a “babysitter,” it made more sense to have someone with some expertise in child care and someone who was dedicated to our children and ours alone. Brad paid her well, and she was basically on call whenever we needed her. She didn’t live with us, although we did have a small room for her at our house for those nights when we’d need her to sleep over for whatever reason. The woman had become a godsend, and our kids loved her. She’d been a great decision, and I was thrilled that she was looking forward to going on tour with Val Hella, because I hadn’t felt this fulfilled in a long time. I felt like I was finally responding to the call of destiny.
And, honestly, Gracie helped ease the sense of guilt I felt. I wanted to be the best mother I could, and part of me felt like the only way to do that was by spending every waking moment with my children, doting on them constantly, just like my mother had seemed to when I was growing up. I knew it wasn’t true, but I also didn’t want to feel like I was foisting my responsibilities upon someone else.
Fortunately, as I said, my kids loved Gracie, and she felt to them like she was part of the family, like she belonged, and they didn’t resent me for the times I had to practice or record…and so I knew they wouldn’t mind the couple of hours here and there I’d need to take the stage or go to a radio interview or a signing before a concert. When I wasn’t doing those things that made me feel whole, I would spend time with them, and I would give them my all.
Once the staff had wheeled up all our stuff and unloaded the carts, Brad tipped them and I took in our lodging. It was amazing. It was like an apartment. A kitchen (with a small alcove that housed a small washer and dryer) with the appliances you’d expect—a fridge, microwave, stove and oven, dishwasher, can opener, and toaster, as well as dishes, silverware, glasses, cooking utensils, and pots. There was a dining room table in that small space, but it was surrounded by a bar and stools. Just past it was a living room with two sofas, a beautiful fireplace, a widescreen TV, a bookshelf loaded with novels and board games, and a huge window. Chris ran in front of me and I followed him, and the two of us discovered a small balcony just off the living room. Once more, the view was amazing and breathtaking. If the weather had been mild, I could have imagined spending time on that balcony, but the air was beyond crisp. It was freezing cold, and I’d appreciate the view from inside. One bedroom was to the left. It had two queen-sized beds and led to the bathroom that could also be accessed from the entryway next to the kitchen. The bedroom on the right size also had two beds as well as a bathroom, but that bathroom was only accessible through the bedroom. There was also a huge closet on the way to the bathroom.
Both bedrooms had televisions as well and we had cable or could order movies. I smiled. I thought this could be a nice vacation.
Gracie said, “If you guys want, the kids and I can share one room and you can have the other.”
Brad smiled and looked at me. “I knew there was a reason I liked this girl.”
I laughed. “If you really want to, Gracie.” I looked at Chris. “You and Hayley want to share a bed in Gracie’s room?”
He smiled. “Yeah! Gracie always lets us watch movies to fall asleep.” I frowned. I didn’t know that it was the best idea, but I supposed it wasn’t too bad. Most of the time his bedtime was at home with Brad and me. Once in a while wouldn’t be bad.
“Like what?”
“One time, we watched Goonies and sometimes we watch stuff like Frozen.”
“Well, no wonder you’re excited. I guess we’ll let you stay with Gracie while we’re here.”
Chris gave me that precocious grin he often sported when he felt like he’d been smart, and he picked up his suitcase and walked it into the bedroom on the left. Gracie giggled. “I’ll unpack the kids’ stuff into the dresser and closet in my room then, I guess.” She started walking toward the room but stopped and turned around. “Oh, wait. Is there something you need me to do first?”
“Nope. We’ll unpack the presents and stuff later. I think it’ll be nice to get everything out of here and put away.”
Brad walked out of the bedroom and said, “Here’s the plan, ladies. Once we’re unpacked, we’ll walk up to the village and grab a bite to eat. Are you all hungry?”
I nodded. Gracie said, “I’m famished…and I think I can finally eat now.”
“We’ll wander around a bit until we see somewhere that looks good.”
“Since we have this kitchen, would you mind if we also found a store somewhere and bought some food? That way we can make a few meals here, but maybe we could keep a few snacks on hand.”
/> “Fine by me.”
Gracie said, “I’ll let you know when I’m done over here.” I heard Chris with Hayley in Gracie’s room. He could get her laughing so hard that she’d lose her breath, and she was to that point. I laughed just hearing it, and I was still smiling as I began toting luggage into the bedroom with Brad.
I took a suitcase over to the closet and began hanging up a few blouses. The jeans and tees and underwear I’d throw into a drawer, but I had a few things that needed to be hung. I was glad to know there was a dryer too, because I might have to use it to unwrinkle a blouse or two.
I felt Brad behind me. The plush carpet hadn’t given him away but his body heat did. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled my neck, kissing the skin lightly. “Feeling a little relaxed now?”
I smiled and turned in his arms to face him. “It’s beautiful here.”
“Anything for you, gorgeous.”
I kissed him and then asked, “What are you wanting to eat tonight?”
“No idea. That’s why I figured we’d walk around some and see what sounds good.”
“We should have brought Hayley’s stroller.”
“Nah. It’s good for her to walk, Val.”
“Yeah, I know that and you know that, but when she gets tired…”
“I’ll carry her. You know I’ll always carry my little princess.”
I laughed. “Yeah, she’s got daddy wrapped around her little finger.”
He kissed my forehead. “So does her mama.”
My lips met his as my fingers wound into his dark hair. He’d been right. This little Christmas vacation was the perfect idea—just what the doctor ordered.
Chapter Three
A WHILE LATER, before the sun started hiding behind the mountain, we started making our way up the hill toward the village. The resort where we were staying had a path made of asphalt and then wooden stairs that took us up to the main road. It was a bit of a hike, and I was wondering if, since we had the kids along, we should have asked for a shuttle to take us. Worse yet, I wasn’t used to the altitude (completely crazy, because I’d grown up in Colorado and it shouldn’t have affected me at all), and I was getting out of breath.
Chris loved it. He acted like he couldn’t even feel the cold, bundled up in his heavy coat and mittens. He smiled and laughed, going off the path to walk in the snow. Brad carried Hayley, also bundled and wide awake after her afternoon nap. I asked him once if he wanted me to take a turn holding her. “Nope. Got her.”
We were enjoying looking at different parts of the village, including the creek that ran through the center of everything. I took out my phone and snapped some pictures, loving that nature was in the middle of manmade comforts, but the sun was dipping behind the peaks. We even passed a Starbucks, for heaven’s sake, as well as clothing stores and lots of restaurants. We started to head back down the way we came, but we were in a different part of the village that we hadn’t seen on our way up, and Brad pointed to a two-story building up against the mountain. “There’s a huge steak restaurant up there. You ladies okay with that?”
Gracie and I agreed, mainly, I think, because we were tired and cold. Chris spoke, and I wasn’t sure who he was imitating when he said, “I’m famished.” We all laughed as we made our way to the promise of warmth and food.
The restaurant was only half full, but it was a cavernous place. The menu offered a lot of choices, so we had a hard time deciding. My main concern was finding something for Hayley to eat, but I talked with the waitress, and the kitchen agreed to make my daughter a grilled cheese sandwich and French fries. Chris wanted a burger and that sounded good to me, too. Gracie wound up having a French dip sandwich, but Brad wanted a steak.
Afterward, we walked down the mountain. It was now dark and much colder, and we could see our breath. Hayley wanted me to hold her for part of the time, and I worried that she was getting fussy, but she was fine. I didn’t want to take the kids out in the cold more, though, so I asked Gracie to make me a list of what food and drink she wanted, and Brad and I decided to go grocery shopping alone.
We drove down the hill to Avon, a tiny town nestled between the highway and the mountain, and found City Market. I was equipped with a list, but I’d forgotten how difficult and disorienting it could be trying to find food in a supermarket if you weren’t familiar with its layout. There was nothing unusual about the way the store was set up, but I was feeling tired after the long day and just wanted to get what we needed and get out. Brad, however, was in a playful mood and enjoying a little time alone.
I paused to look through the glass doors in the frozen section, trying to decide what to get, and Brad wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. “What should we get? Gracie asked for frozen burritos, but she didn’t say if she wanted chicken or beef or bean and cheese. I had no idea there was such a variety. Oh, and then does she want green chili? Mild or hot? This brand or that? Chimichanga style or plain?”
“Relax, Val. She’ll just be glad you got them for her.”
I glanced to my right to look at him and he leaned over to rest his chin on my shoulder. “Not if she thinks they don’t taste good. Then she won’t even eat them, whether she’s grateful or not.”
A sly grin spread over Brad’s face and I turned back to the freezer case. At the rate I was going, this shopping trip was going to take all night…especially when Brad decided to kiss my neck and nibble my earlobe. “You’re not helping.”
He chuckled. “Are you relaxing?”
“No.”
“Good. I have plans for you later.” He let go of me and opened the door, grabbing three packs of burritos and throwing them in the cart. “Problem solved. What’s next on the list?”
I felt my jaw grow slack. As much as I wanted to be irritated with him for finding such a simple solution and making light of it, I actually felt relief. He was right. I was overly concerned with minute details that shouldn’t matter. Really, if Gracie hated what we got, we could come back to the store the next day. The drive had taken less than five minutes. So I sighed and smiled at him and then looked down at the list. “Snacks.”
He wrapped his arm around my waist and I pushed the cart, but the rest of the shopping seemed to go more smoothly and we were done pretty quickly. As a last-minute purchase, I grabbed hot cocoa, because this neck of the woods seemed like the perfect place for it.
When we got back to the resort, I was surprised, because we had bought a lot more than we should have. We had to yet again have a bellhop with a cart help us up to the room. We had more than the two of us could carry. Well, we were going to stay close to a week, so I supposed that wasn’t too unusual. We were stocking up for our time there so we wouldn’t have to eat out all the time. I did want to eat at the restaurant in the hotel at some point, but we still had several meals we could stay in our condo to enjoy.
Brad and I started finding places in the cabinets to put the food after giving Chris and Hayley hugs. Chris and Gracie were playing Sorry! on the large coffee table between the sofas in the living room area and Hayley was playing with some of her toys on the floor. She must have been trying to get into the extra game pieces, because the box was resting on the fireplace mantel, up high where she couldn’t reach it. Both kids were in their pajamas too, and I figured Gracie was feeling as exhausted as I was.
As we finished putting the food away, Chris asked, “Mommy, do you and dad want to play the next game with us?” I shouldn’t have found Chris’s manner of addressing Brad a reason to feel wistful, but I did. Over the past two months, he’d taken to calling his stepfather dad. For the first year Brad and I were together, Chris had called him daddy Brad to distinguish him from his real father (whom he called daddy Ethan). He’d begun calling Ethan simply daddy sometime after Ethan started acting like a real father to his son, and I felt like he’d finally earned that title. It was a while later that he also dropped the Brad part of the title to call Brad daddy. I noticed that, when he was talking about them, he would dis
tinguish if he was referring to Ethan or Brad by adding their names…or when the two of the men were together. But calling Brad dad…it took me a bit to understand why he was making the switch from daddy, but I imagined it was because of preschool. He’d started going in August—a three-day-a-week program—and it was probably sometime in October that he’d begun clipping the father title. I supposed it was inevitable. Daddy would be characterized as childish behavior, and so the kids would eventually stop using the word, especially Chris. Daughters could sometimes get away with it. So, as sad as it made me, I had to remind myself that he was growing up and it was just one of many things that would happen as he did. It was something I’d have to get used to.
At least—for now—he was still calling me mommy. I took some comfort in that, even though I knew a clipped version was coming for me as well.
We said we’d play another game with them, but Brad popped some popcorn in the microwave while I made hot chocolate for everyone. Hayley would only have a few sips, and I would need to cool it off, but I didn’t want her throwing a fit because everyone else was drinking something she couldn’t have. I needn’t have worried, though, because by the time we sat around the coffee table to play the game, Hayley had fallen asleep on the floor on her tummy. So the four of us played the game once through and then Gracie declared it was bedtime. Chris went to brush his teeth and Brad picked Hayley up off the floor and carried her into Gracie’s room, tucking her under the covers. It wasn’t until we kissed Chris good night that Gracie said she was going to have the kids in the same bed with Chris on one side and her on the other so Hayley would be in the middle, less likely to roll off the bed. “As long as no one will crush her…” I said, my voice fading.
Brad chimed in. “Actually, that kid’s already a restless sleeper. Gracie’ll be lucky if she doesn’t wake up with a black eye.”
Gracie nodded and said, “It’s a huge bed, Val.” I nodded and blinked.
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