When Jake entered the house, he found Mom in the kitchen, stirring a pot of something on the stove. She turned to face him, a grim expression on her face. What, no “It’s good to see you, Jake; I’m so glad you’re home”? This wasn’t like Mom at all. She usually gave Jake a hug and said how much she’d missed him.
He stepped forward and slipped his arms around her waist. “It’s good to see you, Mom. How’s Dad doing?”
“He’s hurting real bad and not one bit happy about being laid up.” Her voice cracked, and she cleared her throat. “It could be some time before he’s able to work again.”
“I’ll take over for him until he’s better. You know I will.”
Mom’s bottom lip quivered. “Then you’ll leave again.” Her words were crisp and to the point.
Jake only shrugged and turned toward the door. “I’d better go see Dad. Is he in his room?”
“Jah, but he’s asleep right now. I’d rather you didn’t wake him.”
“Oh, okay.” Jake turned back around. “Where are my brothers and sisters? Are they still at school?”
“Jah. They should be here soon, I expect.” Mom motioned to the table. “Why don’t you take a seat and we can visit while I finish making my stew. I’d like to hear what you’ve been up to lately.”
Jake pulled out a chair and sat down. “Pretty much the same old thing ... breaking horses ... and doing lots of chores around my boss’s ranch. Oh, and I’ve starting training some horses to pull buggies and wagons.”
Her eyebrows lifted as she handed him a cup of coffee. “Are there Amish in Montana?”
“There are a few small Amish communities, but the horses we’ve been training are to pull carriages and wagons at a dude ranch not far from my boss’s spread.”
“What’s a dude ranch?”
“It’s a place where folks go to relax, hike the trails, and have some good clean fun. At this dude ranch, a person can take horseback riding lessons, and they also offer hayrides and buggy rides.”
“Do you like it better in Montana than here?”
Jake took a sip of coffee as he contemplated her question.
“Did you hear what I said, Jake?”
“I heard. Just wasn’t quite sure how to answer.”
She grunted. “It’s a simple enough question. Do you like it better in Montana than you do here?”
“I like some things about it, but I miss some things about Indiana, too.”
“Since you haven’t come back and joined the church, I assume that means you’re planning to stay English.” Mom’s comment was more of a statement rather than a question.
Jake gnawed on his lower lip as he watched her slice carrots and drop them into the pot of boiling stew. Part of him had wanted to return to Indiana and join the Amish church, but the longer he’d stayed away, the harder it had been to come back. He’d originally wanted to open his own business right here, but that was when he thought he’d marry Loraine. If he stayed in Indiana now and tried to open his own business, he wondered if Dad would give him a hard time and pressure him to give up the idea and shoe horses instead.
Lifting his elbows and flexing his shoulders, Jake stretched and yawned. He’d think about this some other time. Right now, he needed to concentrate on doing what was right by filling in for Dad and taking care of his family.
“Are you tired, son?” Mom asked.
“A little. It was a long drive.”
“If you want to go lie down, I’ll call you when supper’s ready.”
Jake shook his head. “If I lie down, I’ll fall asleep and might not wake up until morning.” He pushed away from the table. “Think I’ll go outside and get my stuff out of the truck.”
“You can put everything in your room,” Mom said. “Kyle wanted to move in there when you left for Montana, but I told him no, that you might be back.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that.” Jake smiled at Mom then went out the door.
***
Jolene trudged wearily up the stairs to her classroom. She’d just taught her first lesson in signing to Fern’s class, and it hadn’t gone well. The children who’d originally shown an interest in learning to sign hadn’t acted interested at all. Jolene wondered if it had something to do with Kyle Beechy. She’d seen the way he looked at Irvin and Sylvia today—like they had two heads or something. Kyle had made it clear that he wanted no part in learning how to sign. Even when Fern asked the class to be attentive as Jolene taught them to sign some simple words, Kyle had remained aloof and disagreeable.
When Fern tried to coax him to take part, the fire in Kyle’s eyes and the firm set of his jaw had said it all. He would not even try to sign. And his constant interruptions with silly questions that had nothing to do with signing made it obvious that he was determined to see that the other scholars didn’t learn signing, either.
Someone tapped Jolene’s shoulder, and she whirled around. Fern stood on the step below her. “The children have gone outside for recess, and I was wondering if you’d like to join us in a game of ball.” She spoke slowly while looking directly at Jolene.
Jolene shook her head. “I’m not in the mood to play ball right now.”
Fern followed Jolene upstairs to her classroom and leaned on the front of the desk when Jolene took a seat. “You look upset. Is it because the scholars didn’t catch on to what you were trying to show them?”
Jolene gave a slow nod.
“I think you just need to give it some time. Signing is new to the children.” Fern shrugged. “I had trouble following along with what you were trying to teach us, too, but I’m sure with some practice I’ll be able to learn.”
“Anyone can learn to sign if they want to,” Jolene said. “I’m just afraid that some—especially Kyle Beechy—don’t want to learn.”
Fern traced an ink stain on the desk with her finger then looked up at Jolene and frowned. “Kyle’s my most challenging student, but these last few days, he’s been more difficult than usual. I think he’s probably upset about his daed falling off the roof.”
Jolene suspected there was more going on with Kyle than just his dad’s accident. He’d been mean to Irvin before that had happened. The boy obviously had a chip on his shoulder, and he seemed to enjoy causing trouble. Well, Jolene couldn’t worry about that right now. She had her own students to teach, and That’s where she needed to keep her focus. Irvin, while cooperating a little better the past few days, still wasn’t staying focused on his lessons the way she felt he should be. If Kyle kept tormenting Irvin, Jolene planned to speak with Kyle’s parents. Today, however, she wanted to stop by the stamp shop and pick up a few things on her way home. She planned to make some get-well cards—one for Jake’s dad, and one for Lonnie Hershberger.
***
Lonnie lay in his hospital bed, staring at the ceiling. He’d just been told by the doctor that the damage to his auditory nerves was severe and had caused complete hearing loss. It was a shocking blow, and Lonnie felt as if his whole world had caved in. He couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life in total silence. It would be like being trapped in a cave with no way out. He couldn’t imagine not being able to hear his own voice ... the warble of birds ... a cat’s meow ... or the tinkle of wind chimes. There were so many things he would miss.
Pop tapped Lonnie on the shoulder, and he turned his head, barely able to swallow around the lump stuck in his throat. Pop picked up the notepad lying on the table beside Lonnie’s bed and wrote something on it. His lips moved silently as he handed the notepad to Lonnie.
Lonnie’s eyes had trouble focusing due to the tears he felt. He tried to blink them away as he read Pop’s message: There is one positive thing in all this. Jolene Yoder’s here, and she’ll be able to teach you how to read lips and talk with your hands.
Lonnie said nothing; he just stared at the food on his meal tray that he hadn’t touched.
Then Mom took the tablet and wrote something. I know you’re disappointed, and so are we.
An
gry words rolled around in Lonnie’s head, and he gripped
the edge of his sheet until his fingers turned numb. “You got that right,” he mumbled. At least he thought his words had come out mumbled. Since he couldn’t hear his own voice, he couldn’t be sure how he’d sounded.
Disappointments are like weeds in the garden, Mom continued to write. You can let them grow and take over your life, or you can rout them out and let the flowers sprout.
Another wave of anger swept over Lonnie, and he slammed his fist on his meal tray so hard that the glass of milk toppled over and the silverware tumbled to the floor. “I don’t want to talk with my hands or think about flowers and weeds! I want to hear with my ears!”
CHAPTER 12
“What’s this?” Lonnie asked when his mother handed him an envelope shortly after he’d returned home from the hospital several days after his accident.
Mom’s lips moved, but he had no idea what she’d said.
Lonnie gripped the edge of the sofa where he lay with his head propped on two pillows. “What? You know I can’t hear you!” Irritation welled in his soul. Oh, how he wished he could change what had happened to him. If he could just turn back the hands of time, he’d never have gone anywhere near that propane tank. But then, if he hadn’t checked on it and discovered the leak, someone else, maybe Mom, might have been hit by something from the explosion.
Mom pointed to the return address on the envelope, and Lonnie’s heart gave a lurch. It was from Carolyn. The last few days had been a blur—more like a terrible nightmare, really. In the confusion and frustration of learning that he’d lost his hearing, he’d forgotten that Carolyn was supposed to be here in a few days. As anxious as he was to be with her again, he wasn’t sure he wanted her to see him like this.
With an unsteady hand, Lonnie tore open the envelope and read Carolyn’s note.
Dear Lonnie,I would have called and spoken to you on the phone, but I knew you wouldn’t be able to hear me. When your mammcalled to let us know that you’d been in an accident and had lost your hearing, I was shocked. I can’t imagine what it must be like not to be able to hear. I hope you’re not in a lot of pain.Speaking of pain ... Mama came down with a bad case of shingles, and she’s really miserable. She has so much itching and nerve pain that she can hardly function. Under the circumstances, I think it’s best if I don’t come to see you right now. It’ll give you a chance to rest up and heal without feeling that you have to entertain me. As soon as my mamm’s feeling better, I’ll come there. In the meantime, get plenty of rest and write me back when you feel up to it.As always,
Carolyn
Lonnie let the letter fall to the floor. A mixture of relief and disappointment flooded his soul. He wasn’t ready to face Carolyn right now, so in some ways he was glad she wasn’t coming. He didn’t know how she’d react to him being deaf, and he wasn’t prepared to ask her to marry someone who couldn’t hear a word she said. Even so, he wondered if her decision not to come meant she didn’t want to see him. Maybe she couldn’t deal with the idea of having a boyfriend who was deaf.
Mom wrote something on the tablet and handed it to Lonnie. What did Carolyn have to say?
Lonnie handed the letter to Mom and waited until she’d had a chance to read it. When she finished, he said, “I can’t help but wonder if Carolyn’s not using her mamm’s shingles as an excuse not to come.”
Mom’s eyebrows furrowed as she scrawled a reply. Why would she do that?
“Because I can no longer hear.”
I’m sure that’s not the reason. Carolyn’s a good daughter and obviously feels that her mamm needs her right now. I’m sure she’ll be out to see you as soon as she can.
Lonnie tossed the tablet aside and closed his eyes. “I’m tired. Wake me when it’s time for supper.”
The last thing Lonnie remembered before drifting off to sleep was Mom gently stroking his cheek, the way she’d done when he was a boy and didn’t feel well.
***
As Jolene and her family gathered on the front porch to sing and visit after their signing lesson, Jolene felt suddenly out of place. Everyone but her could hear the words to the songs. Everyone on the porch knew exactly what the others were saying without having to read their lips.
Now don’t start with the self-pity, she berated herself. At least her family had taken an interest in learning to sign, and they hadn’t acted disinterested or belligerent about it like Kyle and some of the other scholars at school. Andrew had surprised her by saying that if he learned to sign well enough he might be able to use sign language at church when the sermons were preached. Jolene was pleased about that. Not only would the signing benefit her, but it would help her two deaf students as well.
Andrew bumped Jolene’s arm, interrupting her thoughts. To her surprise, he signed some of the words to “Amazing Grace.”
Jolene smiled and signed along with him, showing him and the others the way to sign for each of the words. Soon everyone joined in, and they were all signing and singing “Amazing Grace.”
Jolene found herself beginning to relax, and for the first time since she’d come home, she felt like part of the family again.
Just as they were finishing up the song, a horse and buggy entered the yard. It pulled up to the hitching rail, and Ezra Hershberger climbed out of the buggy.
When he joined them on the porch, he said a few words to Dad then moved over to where Jolene sat and stopped in front of her.
“As you may have heard, our son Lonnie has lost his hearing. My fraa and I were wondering if you’d be willing to teach him how to sign and read lips.”
Jolene gave a nod. “If Lonnie’s willing, I’d be happy to teach him.”
Ezra grimaced. “I’m not sure my son’s willing to do much of anything right now, but he’s gotta be able to communicate, so like it or not, he’ll learn.”
***
After supper that evening, Lonnie felt the need to be alone. It had been awkward watching his folks carry on a conversation with his sister, Sharon, and having no idea what any of them had said. Well, at least none of his married sisters had come to supper this evening. They’d have probably hovered over Lonnie and tried to baby him, the way Mom had done since he’d come home from the hospital.
No one seemed to notice when Lonnie grabbed the walking stick he’d been using to help with his temporary loss of balance and headed out the back door. Mom and Sharon were in the kitchen doing dishes, and Pop had gone to the living room to read the newspaper.
Lonnie took a seat in one of the wicker chairs on the porch. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. A vision of Carolyn popped into his head, and he swallowed around the familiar lump in his throat. Would it be fair to ask Carolyn to marry a man who couldn’t hear? What kind of husband would he be? Could he provide for a wife and family?
Sure won’t be able to tune wind chimes anymore, he thought with regret. Fact is I need my hearing for most any kind of work I might want to do.
Someone tapped Lonnie’s shoulder, and his eyes popped open. Wayne Lambright stared down at him. Of course, Lonnie hadn’t heard Wayne’s horse and buggy come into the yard, and that only fueled his irritation.
Wayne’s mouth moved, but Lonnie had no idea what he was saying.
“Can’t hear you. Can’t hear a thing anymore!” Lonnie reached for the tablet and pen sitting on the small table on the porch and handed it to Wayne.
Wayne wrote something and handed it back to Lonnie. I heard you were home from the hospital and I wanted to see how you were doing.
“I’ve been better.”
Wayne took the tablet and wrote something else: I was sorry to hear about your accident. After losing my leg, I think I know a little of how you must be feeling right now.
Lonnie grunted. At least he thought it was a grunt.
Wayne seated himself in the chair beside Lonnie. Is there anything I can do to help? he wrote.
Lonnie shook his head. “Not unless you can give me back my hearing.”
I can’t do that, but I can help by offering my support and listening when you need to talk about your feelings.
“My feelings?” Lonnie popped a couple of knuckles. “I’ll tell you how I feel. I feel like my life’s over. All the plans I’d made are shot to ribbons.”
What plans have you made?
“I’d planned to propose to Carolyn, but I don’t see how I can expect her to marry me now that I can’t hear.”
You shouldn’t let your disability stand in the way of your happiness, Wayne wrote.
“That’s easy enough for you to say. You’ve still got two good ears.”
That’s true, but I’ve only got one good leg, and when I first lost it I was angry, bitter, and full of self-pity. Because of my foolish pride, I almost lost Loraine to her old boyfriend, Jake Beechy.
“I’m not worried about anything like that,” Lonnie said. “There is no one like Jake in Carolyn’s life. I just don’t see how I can expect her to marry a man who can’t hear or provide a decent living to support a wife and family.”
You may not be able to tune wind chimes anymore, but I’m sure there’s something you can do without being able to hear. You can still help your daed raise hogs, you know.
“Puh!” White-hot anger boiled in Lonnie’s chest. If the only job he could do was raise smelly pigs, then he didn’t care if he ever worked again!
CHAPTER 13
Jolene’s heart pounded as she directed her horse and buggy down the road after school the following afternoon. She had two stops to make before going home, and she dreaded them both. When she’d tried to give Fern’s class another signing lesson today, she’d had problems with Kyle again. Not only had he been unwilling to learn, but he’d convinced two of the other boys to ignore her as well. If that hadn’t been enough, during recess Jolene had caught Kyle poking at Irvin with a stick, and he’d written Irvin a note saying he was a dummkopp who had no ears.
Jolene’s first response had been to want to tell Kyle to stop tormenting Irvin, but after taking a few minutes to think things through, she’d decided it was best if she said nothing to Kyle. If he’d been one of her students, she would have punished him on the spot. Instead she’d spoken to Fern about the problem and had left it up to her to discipline the boy. But after thinking about it the rest of the day and seeing how Irvin had pulled further into his shell, she’d made a decision. Before going over to see Lonnie, she would stop at the Beechys’ place and talk to Kyle’s folks. Jolene hoped they would do something about their son’s antagonistic attitude. If not, she didn’t know what she would do.
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