Jake flicked the reins to get his horse and buggy moving and watched the Yoders’ rig up ahead. His heart went out to Ella and her family. It couldn’t be easy losing someone so close to you. Even with the disagreements that often took place between him and Dad, Jake couldn’t imagine not having Dad around.
As he clucked to his horse to make him go faster, Jake made a decision. Even though he and Ella were not on the best of terms, he would find some way to help her family.
CHAPTER 22
The following night, Ella sat on the front porch steps, watching the stars come out. The rain had stopped several hours ago, and dusk had settled over the land like a soft pink blanket.
She drew in a deep breath and released it with a shuddering sigh. With Papa gone, nothing would ever be the same. It didn’t look like they’d be able to support themselves. She’d spent most of the day going from store to store in Topeka, looking for a job. She’d been told by each of the store managers that there were no openings. Then she’d gone to Middlebury but found no work there, either. Should she put a notice in places like The Budget or The Connection and hope to sell off Papa’s wind chime supplies? If she did, it could be awhile before she had any response. Since she’d had no luck finding a job in the places she’d been to today, tomorrow she would go to Shipshewana and try her luck there.
She swallowed hard as she stared up at the night sky. “What am I going to do, Lord? If I can’t find a job, how am I going to take care of my family?”
She heard only the whistle of the wind under the eaves of the house and the singsong ribbet, ribbet of the frogs living near the pond out behind their place.
The screen door creaked, and when Ella glanced over her shoulder, she saw Charlene.
“What are you doing out here by yourself?” Charlene asked, taking a seat beside Ella on the step.
“Just sitting ... thinking ... trying to figure out some way to support this familye.”
“God will take care of our family; you’ll see.”
Ella choked back a sob and reached up to touch her head covering. She was sure it was still held firmly in place and needed no adjusting, but it gave her something to do with her hands.
“It’s okay to cry, you know. God gave us tear ducts for a reason.”
Ella nodded. Her freckle-faced teenage sister with her big blue eyes and innocent smile suddenly seemed more mature than she was.
Ella’s gaze went to Papa’s shop at the end of the driveway. “It’s hard to understand why God takes some and leaves others.” She swallowed hard and drew in a shaky breath. “I mean, Papa always seemed so healthy. For some time now, Mama’s been the sickly one. It makes no sense why God took Papa.”
“Are you saying you think God should have taken Mama instead?”
“Nee, of course not! I just meant that it doesn’t make sense the way Papa’s heart gave out on him when he seemed so healthy.”
“Guess only God knew Papa’s heart was weak.” Charlene touched Ella’s arm. “Do you think Papa’s in heaven with Jesus?”
“Jah, I do. Papa was a God-fearing man. He believed in Jesus and tried to live a good Christian life. I’m sure he’s in heaven right now, walking the streets of gold and listening to the angels sing.”
“I miss him so much. I know Mama does, too.” Tears welled in Charlene’s eyes, and she sniffed a couple of times. “What’ll we do if we can’t find jobs, Ella?”
“We’ll find something. At least one of us needs to, and I think it ought to be me.”
“How come?”
“Because I’m the oldest, and it’s my job to take care of our family. Mama needs your help here, doing chores and taking care of the kinner.”
Charlene stood, smoothing the wrinkles in her dress. “Can we talk about this later? Right now I think we should go inside and see if Mama needs us for anything.”
“You go ahead,” Ella said. “I’ll be in shortly.”
“Okay, but don’t sit out here too long. It’s getting colder by the minute.”
“I’ll be fine. Tell Mama I’ll be in soon.”
The door clicked shut behind Charlene, and Ella went back to brooding. She needed to trust God to take care of them, but she couldn’t sit around idly and wait for an answer.
***
Lonnie paced between his horse’s stall and the wall behind him, where he and Pop had placed a stack of hay earlier in the week. It was hard to believe that Rueben Yoder was dead. Lonnie had just seen Rueben a few days ago, when he’d stopped by the hardware store in Shipshewana. Rueben had looked and acted just fine.
It must be hard for Ella and her family to have lost Rueben. He’d been a good man, kind and fair in his business dealings, and he’d never said a harsh word to Lonnie during the time he’d worked for him. Not like Pop, who’s always criticized me. Lonnie grimaced. Guess I shouldn’t be thinking that way about my own daed. But for the grace of God, it could have been Pop who’d died of a heart attack. Besides, since my accident, Pop has been nicer to me. Maybe it’s because he feels sorry for me because I’m deaf.
Lonnie wondered why it often took a tragedy to make people show kindness and compassion to one another. Doesn’t the Bible teach in John 13 that we are to love one another as Christ loved us? Maybe I haven’t been kind enough to Pop. Maybe I should force myself to take more interest in his smelly pigs. He slowly shook his head. That doesn’t mean I want to help raise and butcher hogs for the rest of my life, though.
I wish I could find some kind of work that I’d enjoy as much as I did making wind chimes. I wonder what will become of Rueben’s business now that he’s gone? Lonnie knew that Ella did the books and Charlene worked on assembling the wind chimes, but someone needed to run the operation and tune the chimes.
If I still had my hearing, I could help Ella run the business. Lonnie sank to a bale of hay and slumped against the wall, questioning God yet again as to why he’d lost his hearing.
Suddenly an idea popped into Lonnie’s head. Was it a whisper from God or his own wishful thinking? Maybe I could assemble the chimes, and then Charlene could learn how to tune and cut pieces of pipe. Ella could keep doing the books, and if she needed help ordering parts and supplies, I could help with that, too.
Lonnie hoped Ella would be open to the idea. He knew how stubborn and independent she could be.
Think I’ll stop by and see Ella tomorrow morning, he decided. Hopefully she’ll like my idea.
CHAPTER 23
After a restless night, Ella decided that the first thing she needed to do after breakfast was to go over Papa’s books to get an accurate estimate of where they were financially. Before Papa died, she’d kept the receipt book from their customers’ orders up to date, as well as the lists of supplies they had in the shop and supplies they needed to order. Trouble was, only Papa had known exactly how much he actually made and how much was in the bank. Ella needed to be sure they had enough money to live on until she was able to find a job.
“I’ll be out in Papa’s shop if you need me for anything,” Ella said to Charlene.
“Okay,” Charlene called as she hurried down the hall, carrying a breakfast tray for Mama.
Ella glanced out the kitchen window. Seeing that it was still raining, she slipped into her jacket and grabbed an umbrella. As she opened the back door, a blast of cold wind hit her in the face. She shivered and decided against opening the umbrella, which would no doubt have turned inside out.
Pulling the collar of her jacket tightly around her neck, Ella dashed across the yard. She entered the shop and had just turned on the gas lights and propane stove, when a deep sense of loss flooded her soul. This was Papa’s place. It didn’t seem right that he wasn’t here, sitting at his workbench with a smile on his face. He’d loved making wind chimes and had taken great care crafting each one.
Tears clouded Ella’s vision, and she covered her mouth to stifle a sob. If she missed Papa this much, how must Mama feel?
“I need to get myself under control,” she murmured. “It’ll
do no good to sit here feeling sorry for myself.” Taking a seat at her desk, she opened the bottom drawer and retrieved the ledger, which she hadn’t seen since the day before Papa died.
Ella’s eyebrows furrowed as she scanned the places of business that carried their wind chimes. “Order Canceled” had been written next to half of the names.
Ella scratched her head. How could that be? She hadn’t seen any cancellations when she’d last gotten the mail.
She squinted at the ledger and realized that “order canceled” had been written in Papa’s handwriting. Sometime before Papa’s death, maybe that same day, he’d picked up the mail and discovered the canceled orders.
Ella’s gaze traveled around the room, and she spotted the wind chimes that had already been finished. Maybe it was a good thing some places had canceled their orders, because they didn’t have nearly enough chimes to fill all the orders she’d thought they had.
She grimaced. It wouldn’t matter if they had one hundred orders; they couldn’t fill them—not just her and Charlene. Besides, even if Papa hadn’t died, sooner or later he’d have probably lost his business. In these hard economic times it seemed that not so many people wanted wind chimes. Papa had mentioned that their business was slacking off, and he’d been concerned about having enough money to pay all his bills.
Ella let her head fall forward, resting it on the wooden desk. Dear Lord, please show me what to do. She stayed like that for several minutes, thinking, praying, and fighting back tears of frustration. She hated being in a situation that seemingly had no answers. She hated feeling so helpless.
Ding! Ding!
Ella jerked her head up and turned. Lonnie stood by the door.
“I hope you weren’t busy,” he said, speaking louder than usual, she assumed, because he couldn’t hear his own voice.
He handed Ella the tablet he’d pulled from inside his jacket, and she quickly wrote him a note: I came in here to go over the books. She wished they knew how to sign well enough so that she wouldn’t have to write everything down.
“I didn’t get to talk to you much at the funeral the other day,” Lonnie said. “You were busy with others, and I didn’t want to intrude.”He paused a few seconds. “With your daed gone, I know things will be difficult for you financially, and I have an idea I wanted to share with you.”
Ella swallowed hard. Their financial situation was even worse than he could imagine. What’s your idea? she wrote.
“I thought maybe I could take over Charlene’s job and she could tune the chimes.”
That’s a nice thought, but it won’t work.
“Is it because I can’t hear? Because if That’s the reason—”
She shook her head and scrawled another note. Papa’s business is in trouble. There are more bills than we have money for, and several places of business have canceled their orders. I’m afraid Papa’s business will have to be sold.
Lonnie’s eyebrows drew together. “I’m sorry to hear that. Aren’t there some other places you could contact about selling your daed’s chimes?”
I don’t know of any others, Ella wrote. Even if there were any who’d be willing to place an order, the three of us could never keep the business going.
“How can you be sure?”
For one thing, Charlene’s tone deaf. She can’t even carry a tune when she sings, so she’d never be able to tune the chimes.
“Maybe she could do the books and you could tune the chimes.”
That wouldn’t work, either. Charlene’s not good at math. She’d mess up the books for sure.
He scratched his head. “There has to be someone you could hire who has a good ear for tuning chimes.”
We don’t have enough money to pay anyone. We’ve been strugglingfinancially for some time, and now that we’ve lost several orders, we’re in worse shape than ever.Ella stopped writing and squeezed her eyes shut, hoping the action would keep her persistent tears at bay. When she opened them again, Lonnie was staring at her in a curious way. Was it compassion she saw on his face, or something else?
I appreciate your offer, she wrote, but there’s only one thing for me to do.
“What’s that?”
I’m going to send out the wind chimes to the people who have already placed orders, and then I’ll have to close the shop and sell everything.
“Then what’ll you do? How will your family survive?”
I’ll be heading into Shipshe as soon as I’m done here to look for a job.
“Jobs are hard to come by these days.”
Ella grimaced. She didn’t need that reminder. I’ll find something. I have to.
***
“Where are you off to in this nasty weather?” Jake’s mother asked when he slipped into his jacket and started for the back door.
“I’ve got a horse to shoe over at Crist Lambright’s. Then I’m planning to stop by and see Ella on my way home.”
Mom’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why would you need to see her?”
“I didn’t get to speak with her at the funeral the other day, and I want to offer my condolences.” Jake pulled his stocking cap on his head. “Thought I’d ask if they have any chores that need to be done while I’m there.”
“I’m sure Ella’s family is taking care of their chores. She does have several siblings, you know.”
Jake couldn’t believe his mother’s clipped tone. “Ella only has five siblings who are living, and they’re all younger than her. The little ones can’t do heavy chores. Besides, with the exception of Charlene, the kinner will be in school all day.”
“I realize that,” Mom said with a huff, “but there are others in the community who will help out. With your daed laid up, you’ve got enough to do right here.”
Jake stared hard at his mother. “What’s wrong, Mom? You act as though you don’t want me to help Ella’s family. Doesn’t the Biwel teach that we’re to help our neighbors?”
Mom pursed her lips. “Don’t quote scriptures to me, young man. If you had any interest in what the Bible says, you would have joined the church by now!”
Jake jerked his head, feeling as though he’d been slapped. “Now you’re talking like Dad. I thought you understood why I haven’t made up my mind about becoming Amish yet.”
She shook her head. “I’ve never said I understood it. I’ve just chosen not to say too much, hoping that if I didn’t push you too hard you’d make the right decision.”
“The right decision being that I join the church, you mean?”
She shrugged.
“At one time I thought moving home and joining the church was what I wanted, but when Loraine married Wayne—”
“We’ve been over this before. You can’t base your decisions about getting baptized and joining the church on whether someone agrees to marry you.” Mom’s voice raised a notch, and her cheeks colored to a deep crimson. “It’s a commitment to God and to the ways of the church you’ve grown up in—the church our ancestors of old gave their lives for in martyrdom.”
“I know all that, and someday, when I feel the time’s right, I’ll make my decision about whether to join the church or not.” Jake put his hand on the doorknob. “In the meantime, I’m going over to shoe Crist’s horse. After that, I’ll be heading to the Yoders’, and if they need any chores done, I’ll do’ em.”
“What if Ella won’t let you?”
Jake turned to face his mother. “Why wouldn’t she let me?”
“Do I need to remind you that every time you and Ella are anywhere near each other, you end up in an argument?” She took a step toward Jake. “Think about it, son. Ella doesn’t like you, and I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to put yourself in a position that could lead to another argument with her—especially when she and her family are grieving for Rueben.”
“I won’t say anything to upset Ella or anyone else in her family. I just want to let them know that I’m available to help out.”
Mom turned her hands palm up, clinging to a dishclot
h. “Do as you like, but don’t be surprised if Ella says no.”
CHAPTER 24
When Ella entered the hardware store in Shipshewana, she spotted her friend Esther behind the counter. Forcing a smile, she stepped up to Esther and said, “I need a job. Is there anything available here right now?”
“I’m afraid not,” Esther said with a shake of her head. “I doubt we’ll be hiring until spring, and That’s only if the economic situation takes a turn for the better.”
“Oh, I see.” Ella swallowed around the lump in her throat. She was beginning to think she’d never find a job.
“Have you checked at any of the restaurants in town to see about working in the kitchen or waiting tables?” Esther asked.
“I’ve checked just about everywhere, for every kind of job.” Ella turned away from the counter. “I’d better go.” She hurried off before Esther could respond.
She’d just entered the corridor between the hardware store and the fabric store, when she saw Katie heading her way.
“I’m surprised to see you out shopping today,” Katie said. “I know your mamm took your daed’s death pretty hard, and I figured you’d be home with her.”
“Charlene’s staying with Mama so I can look for a job.”
“But you have a job selling wind chimes.”
Ella shook her head. “Even if Papa were still here, we’d soon have to close the shop.”
“How come?”
Ella explained about the canceled orders and Lonnie’s offer to trade jobs with Charlene. “But you see,” she said, “even if Charlene could tune the chimes, we can’t continue to operate if we can’t find places to buy and sell our chimes.” She rubbed the bridge of her nose and blinked. She would not give in to her tears.
Katie slipped her arm around Ella’s waist. “Are you okay?”
“I’m afraid I won’t be able to find work and that I’ll let my family down.”
“Whenever I get frightened and think I might have another panic attack, I remind myself that these are just feelings and that they’ll soon pass. I know that the sooner I focus on God and His power, the faster I’ll see relief from my fears.” Katie gently patted Ella’s back. “God will give you the strength for each new day. Remember, you don’t have to bear your burdens alone. Your family and friends are here to help in any way we can. One of the reasons we Amish survive is because we rely on God and one another.”
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