Sunday morning — 8:01 a.m.
New York City, New York
Sandy and Nash stepped off the elevator and tapped on the door to Ivan’s floor.
No answer.
Sandy tried the knob, and the door opened. Sticking her head inside, she saw that the entire loft was filled with ballet dancers on cushions and under thick blankets. Sandy pointed to Nash. There was an open path along the side of the room that would take him straight to Nadia’s room. Nash nodded and worked his way to the opening. Sandy watched him wistfully. He disappeared into Nadia’s room.
“Sissy?” Sandy whispered.
No one stirred. Sandy picked her way through the sleeping dancers toward the kitchen. She stood there for a moment, trying to decide what to do. She was about to creep out when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Startled, Sandy gasped and turned. Sissy was standing behind her.
“Sissy!” Sandy said in a whisper.
Because Sissy was so tall now, Sandy had to stand on her toes to hug her. The sisters held each other close. Sandy felt a hand on her back. She let go of Sissy to hug Ivan. He kissed Sandy’s cheek, yawned, and retreated to the back. Sandy watched him go.
“That man . . .” Sandy gave a low, appreciative whistle.
Sissy grinned.
“You must be exhausted,” Sissy said.
“I’m sixteen — well, almost,” Sissy said. “I have lots of energy!”
Goofing around, Sissy made a big yawn and a stretch. She grabbed her side for the effort and grimaced. Sandy smiled.
“You ready?” Sandy asked.
Sissy nodded. The sisters threaded their way through the sleeping people and left the apartment. Sissy grabbed a jacket and her clogs at the door.
“Where to?” Sandy asked when they were alone at the elevator.
“There’s a great place on the corner,” Sissy said. “I’ll show you.”
“My New Yorker sister,” Sandy said.
Sandy took Sissy’s elbow, and they went into the elevator. They went out of the building and stood on the sidewalk.
“Is it always this crowded?” Sandy gestured to the people streaming around her.
“It’s Seth’s concert,” Sissy said. “All those people upstairs . . . They would be home if they didn’t think we could get them into the concert. Nice to be connected.”
“It’s not just another dumb concert?” Sandy asked.
“It’s totally another dumb concert,” Sissy said with a laugh. “The best, best, best thing about it is that I get some time alone with you!”
Grinning, Sandy took Sissy’s arm. They walked together to the diner on the corner. Inside, they put their names on the list.
“Do you have diet restrictions?” Sandy asked when they entered.
“From Ivan?” Sissy asked. Shaking her head, she said, “Not after last night. I was told to eat up, because we’re likely to dance tonight.”
“Oh?” Sandy asked.
“All those dancers, the space at the park,” Sissy said with a shrug.
“Can you do that?” Sandy asked. “You’re still healing!”
Sissy held up her hands to Sandy’s worried questions.
“I will make sure to take care of myself,” Sissy said. “Please . . . Can we talk about something other than what I’m eating and how sick I am? I feel like I’m ninety!”
Smiling, Sandy nodded. The hostess called their name, and they took seats along the window.
“This place is owned by Otis,” Sissy said. “You know — Auntie Jill’s grandfather. He was at our house and saw the spot.”
Sissy pointed to where Mari was standing next to the counter. She came over to say “hello.” They talked for a minute before Mari left them to themselves. They ordered breakfast before they lost the server. Sandy was doctoring her coffee while Sissy was sipping green tea.
“I still hate coffee,” Sissy said. “Most ballerinas live off the stuff.”
“Alex Hargreaves,” Sandy said.
Sissy laughed at the mention of their wild soldier friend.
“How were the whales?” Sissy asked.
“I took a few billion photos,” Sandy said.
She took her phone out of her pocket and showed Sissy. They chatted about kayaking and whale watching until their food was delivered. Sissy liberally doctored her pancakes. Sandy knew this ploy. Sissy loved to doctor food that she never ate. Sandy finally relaxed when Sissy started eating.
“I wanted to talk to you . . .” Sissy said.
Sandy stopped eating to look up. Her mind raced with possibilities. Sissy was pregnant. No, she knew Sissy had the implant because she’d put it there herself. Sissy and Ivan were getting married. Sissy and Ivan were breaking up. She wanted to come home. Sissy was sick or needed money or . . .
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-four
Breakfast
“Did you panic?” Sissy asked. She rolled up her sleeve to show the implant. “I’m not pregnant.”
Sandy gave a relieved laugh. Sissy grinned.
“You know that Wanda is having her surgery on Tuesday,” Sissy said.
Sandy nodded.
“I wanted to come home to be there for Wanda, but . . .” Sissy said. She took a bite of pancake and ate it before adding, “I was just there.”
Sandy nodded.
“What does Ivan say?” Sandy asked.
“Is our life,” Sissy said in a mock Russian accent. “We live as we live. Here or there. Why does it matter?”
“Why does it?” Sandy asked. “You’re not working now, and school is mobile.”
“I know,” Sissy said. She leaned forward. “You don’t think it’s kind of . . .”
Sissy raised her shoulder for a fast shrug. Sandy shook her head that she didn’t understand.
“Rich, I guess,” Sissy said. “Spoiled. Stupid. Make up your mind! Ostentatious.”
“Yes, mother,” Sandy said in response to Sissy quoting their mother.
Sissy nodded.
“I think that this is your life,” Sandy said. “I understand that most of your life, you’ve been in one place, on one path. You don’t need to do that right now. Why not enjoy it while you can?”
Sissy shrugged and looked away.
“It seems like things are going well,” Sandy said. “Ivan’s likely to be back to work soon. You’ll be back in ballet school. In just a little bit of time, you won’t be able to come home, even if you wanted to.”
Sissy turned back to look at Sandy, who shrugged. Sissy nodded.
“What is it really?” Sandy asked.
“I don’t know,” Sissy said. “I wish I did, but I don’t.”
Sandy nodded. They fell silent, eating for a while. The waitress came to fill Sandy’s coffee. When she left, Sandy looked at Sissy for a long while.
“What?” Sissy asked.
“Why do you think there were so many ballet people there last night?” Sandy asked to avoid asking Sissy the same question again.
“Ramona,” Sissy said with a nod. “You know, my friend who was an apprentice with me?”
“I remember her from the hospital,” Sandy said. “Nice girl. Was she there last night?”
Sissy nodded.
“She works in the office for a stipend,” Sissy said. “She sent everyone on the ballet’s list a copy of the first video.”
“Will she get in trouble?” Sandy asked.
“No,” Sissy said. “Nadia called school last night and left a message that she’d instructed Ramona to do it.”
Sissy shrugged.
“I guess she’s a big-wig,” Sissy said.
Sissy nodded. They fell silent while they finished eating.
“So . . . what is it really?” Sandy asked.
“I’ve always lived this life, you know,” Sissy said in a flood of speech. “This thing leads to that thing. First it was finishing school so I could get away from mom, or maybe if mom went to rehab she’d be a real mom, or at the very least she would say she was sorry to you and Ch
arlie! And dance. I’d dance and dance and dance and then go be an apprentice and then . . .”
“Get hired at a ballet company,” Sandy said when Sissy took a breath.
Sissy nodded.
“I remember,” Sandy said. “What’s changed?”
“Now . . .” Sissy shrugged.
“What’s . . .” Sandy imitated Sissy’s shrug, “ . . .mean?”
“I don’t know if I want to be an apprentice anymore,” Sissy said. “Or live here in New York. It seems like my whole life is in Denver. And Ivan . . . I don’t know where Ivan fits into anything.”
“He certainly wasn’t in the original plan,” Sandy said.
Sissy nodded. Sissy leaned forward.
“I don’t want to be away from him,” Sissy said.
“Why would you have to be away from him?” Sandy asked.
“If I’m a ballerina, I . . .” Sissy nodded. She fell silent while her head moved up and down. “Actually, I don’t know why I’d be away from him. I guess, I don’t know any married ballerinas. Well, there’s that one . . .”
Sandy smiled and took Sissy’s hands.
“We’re all just making it up as we go,” Sandy said. “You can come to Denver for Wanda’s surgery and be back here on the weekend. Hell, if you travel by fairy, you can do it in a few seconds.”
Sissy laughed. For a moment, everything seemed really good and happy. Just for a moment. Then, the weight of Sissy’s worry returned.
“Will you help me?” Sissy whispered.
“Always,” Sandy said.
“Even if I don’t live a straight-line life anymore?” Sissy asked.
“I won’t judge you even if you live a wild and untamed life,” Sandy said with a nod.
Sissy wrinkled her nose at Sandy repeating their mother’s words.
“She’d be so mad,” Sissy said about their mother.
“Oh, who cares?” Sandy asked. “Did you know she said I was like a cow because I was breastfeeding Rachel?”
“No!” Sissy said. Shaking her head, she added, “Such a bitch.”
Sandy laughed, and Sissy smiled.
“You heard that Nash and Noelle’s mother, Nuala, is here in New York?” Sandy asked.
Sissy nodded.
“Aden’s meeting with her right now,” Sandy said.
“Better him than us!” Sissy said with a sneer.
“Exactly,” Sandy said.
“Do you think . . .?” Sissy started to ask and then stopped.
Sandy watched her sister for a long while before Sissy took a breath and started to speak.
“Everyone says you need time alone — you know, to find yourself,” Sissy said. “I always thought I’d do all of this alone and then maybe meet someone later when I was a famous ballerina and . . .”
“We’ve talked about this before,” Sandy said.
Sissy nodded.
“Is it okay to talk about it again?” Sissy asked.
“You’re worried that you won’t . . .” Sandy started and then shrugged. “I don’t think we’re sure what you won’t be able to do now that you’re with Ivan. Is he limiting you in anyway?”
“Not that I can tell.” Sissy shook her head. “I haven’t felt like ‘Oh, I want to do that, but Ivan won’t let me’ or ‘If I wasn’t with Ivan, I’d do this thing or that thing.’ Like I said, he’s very much like . . .” Imitating Ivan again, she added, “‘We aren’t in gulag. We do what we decide with our life.’”
Sissy shrugged.
“Hmm,” Sandy said. “So this is coming from inside you.”
Sissy nodded. Sandy’s head went up and down in sympathy.
“I think so, but how do you ever know?” Sissy asked.
Sandy took a drink of coffee to give herself time to think. After a moment, she nodded.
“What I know is that love makes everything work,” Sandy said. “It seems to me that, with your love for Ivan and his love for you, you will both be able to move mountains.”
“You sure?” Sissy asked.
Sandy gave her a soft nod. Sissy smiled.
“We can’t know the future,” Sandy started one of their father Mitch’s favorite sayings.
“Let’s just take it one decision at a time,” Sandy and Sissy said together.
“I don’t want to look back and think that I could have had an awesome life if . . .” Sissy lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “You know, like mom. Her whole story is that her life would have been better if she didn’t have kids or marry our dad or . . .”
Sissy nodded.
“So, don’t do that,” Sandy said. “You can decide today that you’re going to live your life facing forward. Make a decision today, move forward. Make another decision.”
“You mean like Dad?” Sissy asked.
“I never heard Dad say that he regretted anything — not even the Agent Orange that gave him the sarcoid,” Sandy said.
“‘What a grand time that was!’” Sissy quoted Sandy quoting their father.
Sandy smiled at the memory of their father, Mitch.
“I think he’d be really happy for you,” Sandy said. “Should we ask Delphie?”
Sissy shook her head and then, after a moment, wagged her head side to side.
“Maybe,” Sissy said.
“You can ask her when you’re home,” Sandy said.
Sissy nodded.
“When you come home next week, are you staying at the Castle?” Sandy asked. “Or at Ivan’s condo?”
“Ivan’s rented the condo to someone from Denver Ballet,” Sissy said.
“Oh?” Sandy asked.
“It happened after the wedding,” Sissy said.
Sandy nodded.
“I thought maybe we’d stay at the Castle,” Sissy said. “You think we could . . . you know . . . stay together? Ivan and me?”
“I’ll talk to Aden,” Sandy said.
Sissy grinned at Sandy.
“But not today,” Sandy said.
“He’s going to be plenty mad when he gets done with Nuala,” Sissy said with a nod.
Sandy nodded.
“Do you have to deal with that today?” Sissy asked.
“No,” Sandy said. “I have to deal with Seth.”
Sissy grinned.
“Actually,” Sandy said. “Everything is done. I just have to sign papers, go to the party, and head home. That’s not too hard. As far as I can tell, Seth has not created any Sethian chaos. Yet.”
“Everyone is saying it’s the party of the century.” Sissy nodded. “A real send-off.”
Sandy smiled at Sissy’s exuberance.
“Let’s get out of here,” Sandy said.
Sandy grabbed the check from the table, and they went back to Ivan’s home. When they arrived, the apartment was a hive of activity. Everyone was up and excited for the party to come. Sandy and Sissy allowed themselves to be caught up in the stream. They were soon in Harlem. Sandy left Sissy with Ivan to sign papers.
“How was breakfast?” Ivan asked.
“Good,” Sissy said.
“Are we going to Denver for Wanda’s surgery?” Ivan asked.
“Is that okay?” Sissy asked.
“Is our life,” Ivan said. “Not gulag. We do what we want.”
Grinning at Ivan, Sissy nodded in agreement.
“Oh, look — it’s Seth,” Sissy said and pointed.
Seth stepped up to a piano and began to play. The concert began.
~~~~~~~~
Sunday morning — 8:01 a.m.
New York City, New York
Aden stepped out of the taxi at the address where Nuala said she was staying. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. With five steps up to the front door, the apartment building looked like any other apartment building in Queens. He knew from the Internet that Nuala was staying in a living community where she had a nice apartment and one roommate. The living community had buildings all over the city and throughout the country. Her only restrictions were that she had to stay sober and she
couldn’t break the law.
Aden had scowled when she’d told him last night.
Her very presence put her within one hundred feet of Nash and Noelle. She was, right at that moment, breaking the law. She was furious when he brought it up. Standing there on the sidewalk in the middle of Hell’s Kitchen, Nuala had called Aden every name in the book. The less he reacted, the more she screamed. When a New York Police cruiser pulled over, Aden was afraid they’d arrest her. He managed to get her into a cab with the promise of meeting her here this morning at eight o’clock.
Now he was standing outside this building, on another sidewalk, staring up the five steps up to the front door, in another part of a city that he didn’t live in. He sighed and wondered if Sandy would think he was weak if he just went back to Seth’s, or better yet, Vancouver. Feeling movement, and prepared for the worst, Aden turned abruptly to find an aging man in an expensive three-piece suit carrying a briefcase. He wore a bowler hat, black leather gloves, and a black silk handkerchief in his suit pocket.
“That bad, eh?” the man asked with a smile.
His jovial tone caused Aden to relax. His accent was somewhere between P.G. Wodehouse’s Jeevs and the Scottish guy who used to have a late-night talk show. Aden squinted to see if he’d remember the talk show host’s name. The man gave him an expectant grin.
“I just have to do something . . .” Aden said.
“It is always hard to do things we have to do,” the man said.
“I’m pretty good at doing things I have to do,” Aden said. “I like the cool precision of filling out forms, even taxes. I run a construction company. There’s a ridiculous amount of things we have to do to get any work started.”
“I see,” the man said. “That being the case, don’t you think we should head inside? Face the music, as it were.”
Aden startled. He looked at the man again.
“We?” Aden asked. His stomach sank. “I suppose you work for Nuala.”
The man simply looked at him.
“God damn it,” Aden said. “I didn’t even think of having a lawyer here.”
“Yes, I am aware of that,” the man said.
“I suppose you work for Nuala,” Aden repeated.
“You may suppose whatever you wish, sir,” the man said.
Aden squinted as he ran through their entire conversation. He stuck out his hand.
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