by Alina Sawyer
As I expected, she said "No thank you, now fuck off," so I turned away, leaving a stain of lube and sperm on top of her unborn child. I turned to number 7, who seemed a little more interested. He was already bending over with his cheeks spread wide. I pushed my cock into his poop chute; his anus was so relaxed that I only felt his rectal walls caressing my shaft. I grabbed him by the hips and gave him a pump or two, trying to force my cock in as deep as possible. At the deepest part of his ass, I felt the rock-hard head of a new turd on its way down. So I bent him over even harder and fucked the turd back in as best I could. Then I pulled out and presented my own dripping asshole to him for service.
Then the emcee declared "All right, our guest is here! Contestants, get out of each other's asses and help me welcome..." But she didn't get to finish the guest's name, because the people in the audience had pried their hands away from each other's crotches to clap and cheer as wildly as they had for number 9 at the beginning. A very mild-mannered-looking guy walked up to the stage. He had sandy hair and looked about 40 or so; other than the fact that he was wearing a kilt, he looked like some guy you knew from the bowling alley. Obviously the people in the audience knew who he was very well, though.
And contestant number 2 apparently did too! He jumped down off the stage and ran for the exit. The emcee called after him, "Wait, don't forget your pants!" But he was gone, to laughter and more applause.
Once order was restored, the emcee turned to the guest in the kilt and continued, "Well, I think many of our contestants don't recognize you yet. Would you give us all 'the big reveal'?" To hoots from the audience, he turned around and lifted his kilt to reveal an extremely relaxed anus on top of two extremely pendulous balls. Then, as we watched, he reached back with his hands and tugged apart the wide lips of his anus, revealing a gape the size of a dinner plate! It was the Goatse Guy!
I still remember that Saturday morning from childhood when my sister tried to play a trick on me. We were sitting out on our front porch, and she had our mom's laptop on her lap. She said to me, "Hey, look at this skateboard!" and turned the screen to me. Of course, she had gone to "goatse.cx". Back in those days people loved to shock their friends by showing them this picture of an incredibly spread asshole, and that was the kind of reaction she was expecting from me. Instead, I pulled down my basketball shorts to my ankles and started jacking my instantly-rigid cock. My sister seemed as surprised by that response as she'd been expecting me to be by the picture. Eventually, Mom had to come out of the house and tell us to stop feeling each other's private parts where the neighbors could see.
And here he was in the flesh! Wow! I had to take my hand away from my cock for fear I would cum instantly.
The emcee said, "I have here our famous guest's bag of tricks!" She held aloft a large leather overnight bag; as she turned it in midair, various rattling, clanking, and knocking sounds came out. The guest of honor took it and disappeared briefly behind the curtains. He then re-emerged, walking a little stiffly. "For each round, he'll shove a few objects into his ass, and each of you in turn is going to reach under his kilt, receive something out of his ass, and shove it up your own. Extra points for feeling him up under the kilt. Hey, 4, you're first!"
With a start, I realized that 4 was the only remaining contestant outside our little three-way love nest. She looked barely eighteen and had a shaved head, a back and an arm full of tattoos, and a row of heavily clanking silver rings on her labia. I was guessing our guest was not going to get a very good feel-up from her, or anything else. Instead, she knelt behind him, with her face inches from his ass and motioned from him to spread his cheeks. He shat out a large kitchen whisk tool onto her waiting tongue. She took it in her hand and, holding it aside, licked the entire exposed pink surface of his inner rectum. Then, still kneeling, she popped the whisk into her own. What a contender!
From then on, it was a haze of enormous objects popping out of his obscenely pussy-like, noisily farting ass. He served two croquet balls to 7, a salt-shaker and a pepper-shaker to me, and a tacky ceramic figurine of a duck to 9. We each received these objects, kissed the gaping orifice that gave birth to them, and wedged them up into ourselves. The audience made us turn around to shit each item out. On the next round, as I was struggling to push a 1990s-era cellphone back out of my ass, the guy from the table right in front of me (the one who had showed me his girlfriend's boob) came up and ejaculated onto my face. Good to know somebody was having fun... this was work!
Eventually 4 and 7 could not get their objects into their asses and were gently escorted from the stage to be ass-raped on the back rail. It was just me and my sweetie! My cock twitched as I tried to engulf a large firm grapefruit, thinking about how her orifice would stretch as she soon gave birth. But I couldn't get it in! If 9 could get her next object inside, she'd win!
The Goatse Guy held his kilt high, exposing his rigid cock, as he dispensed the biggest buttplug I had ever seen. It looked like a miniature traffic cone, with a rim at least six inches thick. As the audience chanted "Harder! Harder!" 9 slowly forced it into her bowel, grunting and gasping with her ass held high in the air. She involuntarily emitted a splatter of urine onto the stage, which glittered as it caught the lights.
At last she had almost the whole buttplug in... but not quite! There seemed to be a dry, lube-less spot just at its rim, and her abused, inflamed sphincter was clinging to it. The pandemonium from the audience was deafening. She turned her head to me and formed her lips into a word. I thought, "Damn, trash talk at a time like this?"
But instead, the word she formed with her lips, her eyes fixed on me and welling with tears, was "Help?"
I didn't even hesitate. I leaned forward and slid my wet tongue between her anal rim and the buttplug, right at the dry spot. The buttplug popped in, and the crowd went nuts. She'd just won. Why the hell did I do that?
Apparently she was wondering the same. With the buttplug still in, she took a second to catch her breath and then looked up at me from her squatting position, with the first genuine smile I had seen from her all evening. "Damn, I guess I have to share the prize money with you, don't I?"
I said "Actually, you don't." I mounted her roughly and shoved my lubed cock deep into her pussy. My cock was gripped tightly inside her cunt by the buttplug on one side and the baby in her uterus on the other, and my cockhead was jammed against her swollen cervix. It only took me a few thrusts before I emptied my swollen prostate into her cunt, and, in a moment, I relaxed and emptied my bladder inside her as well. "No, my dear," I continued, "that will not be necessary at all."
The End.
Unexpected Bonus
Stunning was the only way to describe her. Tall, dark haired, dark eyed and pale (but tanned) skin. A goddess in human form, whose razor-sharp wit kept all but the bravest and foolhardiest away. She'd never been seen outside of the office, seeming to vanish into thin air at the end of the day. She'd never been to any of the parties or events we'd had, not birthdays or celebrations. She was a mystery in many ways, and despite this it seemed to increase her allure.
Work had been hell leading up to Christmas, and everybody seemed to be pulling in extra shifts by the week and partying all weekend. Everybody except for me, it seemed. My work partner had been given the elbow, leaving me with double the load and no way to get it done in normal hours. Every day was an early start, a late finish, and no time to party -- the last thing any of us wanted in the festive season.
Friday was usually a superb day all round. Less work, early finishes, and late late nights. Today though was not one of those days -- another late finish. Six o'clock came and went, with the rest of the basement leaving me to finish up at some ungodly hour.
I kept my head down, trying to get done and out in time to join whatever party was going on. I was frustrated nobody had stopped to help but that's the way it is in the city. My surprise at the tap on the shoulder was doubled when she asked if I needed a hand, if I wanted to get out before the weekend.
Happily I accepted, and handed over a few odd jobs. She looked at me, smiled and said she'd be right back. Some practical joke! I got stuck in again, to be interrupted by a clinking glass. She'd returned with wine and glasses, her hair down and clearly ready to settle in for the evening. This might just be bearable.
Pouring a glass each, we discussed what had to be done. It was boring work, and clearly neither of us was willing to get on with the work at hand. I found myself plucking up the courage to ask her if she was single, and she laughed and said she was. She then coyly looked at me and asked the same. I had to admit I was, having been too busy to even consider dating anybody, let alone make something work.
She looked me in the eyes, and moved toward me. Her lips, soft and sensual, touched mine. Gently, then firmly, she kissed me. I put my hand behind her head, feeling the softness of her hair, could smell the perfume she was wearing. Her hands wandered, running over my back, my shoulders, and down my arms to pull my hands into hers. She looked at me briefly, then stood and flattening her skirt with her free hand, led me back across the room to my desk.
She sat up on the desk, her perfect ass on my desk, pulling me into her embrace again, more roughly than I'd expected. She pulled me in between her legs and held me there tightly, pushing herself against me, her hips making small grinding motions and arousing me rapidly. I had no idea how this had happened, but I wasn't going to stop it for all the tea in China.
Breathing heavily, she began to undo my trousers. Her long legs now unwrapped from me, and she pushed me away a little to remove my belt. As she undid it, I pushed her back onto her back onto my desk. Standing over her, I let my lips linger on hers again, the across her jaw, her neck, gently biting her as I did so. She sighed and moaned gently as I did so, her nails now working into my back as I did so. I then bit her hard, and she squealed in delight, moving against me yet again. I let my hands roam across her, feeling her skin, her tight stomach under her shirt. I stood back from her a little, so I could begin unbuttoning her, one at a time, never taking my eyes off of hers.
I pulled it open, and her lacy bra barely contained her full, pert breasts. I bent down and nuzzled into them, my hands now holding to her hips as though to stop her going anywhere. She held my head against her chest, then reached back and undid her strap. I took her bra from her and, repeating what I'd just done, traced the contours of her with my lips, followed by the tip of my tongue. I traced across her nipple, lingering as it stood beneath my touch. Looking up at her face briefly, I took her nipple into my mouth and bit it -- harder than I'd intended. She yelped again, and dug her nails into me yet again -- much harder than I thought she even could!
Momentarily distracted, she took advantage and pushed me away and jumped off of the desk. Standing in front of me, she kissed me hard, her hands finding the join in my shirt -- then ripped the front all the way down, and pulled it off the back of me. In the same movement, she dropped to her knees and deftly undid me, and dropped my boxer shorts. I sprang to attention, and without a moment's hesitation she took hold of me, using her hands and working the length of my shaft. I could barely stand, and knowing what it was doing to me she then licked from the base to the tip, the flat of her tongue running along me and causing my knees to tremble. She did this again, and as she reached the top, opened her mouth and ran her lips down me, taking me deeper inside, slowly, warm and wonderfully. Her head slowly then went back up again, her tongue tracing inside her mouth while her lips held onto me so exquisitely. I held one hand on her head while she continued this excruciatingly slow movement, her occasional moans and vibrating against me and making this easily the best I'd ever had. She kept working along me, her hands where her mouth couldn't reach, never slowing, always sucking and moving.
Stopping abruptly, she stood up in front of me and leaned back against the desk, and in a voice that was barely a whisper said "Fuck me. Now." I put her back onto the desk, and kneeling down I ran my hands up her long, smooth legs. My fingertips quickly found the edges of the soft material, and I hooked a finger under each side of her thong. Feeling this, she put her feet up onto my shoulders, and lifted herself up so I could pull her thong out and off, down her legs and dropped them casually behind me. She kept her feet on my shoulders, and then relaxed, putting her calves there as I moved in toward her sweet mound. Before I was even close I could feel the heat and wetness emanating from her, how much she wanted this. I planted a kiss on the inside of her thigh, then on the other. Placing repeated small, light kisses, I worked higher up her legs, one side then the other, until my lips met her softness. Again she moaned, and pulling my hair held my head against her. I responded by placing my tongue against her, and holding it with the tip barely inside her, the flat pushing her clit. I could tell I'd hit the spot as her hand no longer pulled my head but gripped with an intensity that left me in no doubt not to move. Her body tensed, thighs gripping me, leaving me almost unable to breathe.
Presently she relaxed, letting out a long barely audible sigh. I began now to move my tongue against her, the tip of my tongue from the lowest point I could reach to her clit, pausing and pressuring enough to make her begin to tense, then removing and repeating again and again, each time less gently than the last. The more I licked her, the more so moved with me, each movement making her tense more than the time before. I could feel her building up again, so I slowed down again to prolong the moment. Her body was now trembling, her hands alternating between pulling on my head and gripping the sides of the desk, every breath seemed to be torn from her. I used the tip of my tongue on her, tracing the contours and shapes of her lips, flicking her clit as softly as I could. She was moaning with every breath now, barely whispering "fuck me... fuck me..." while she did so. As I felt her breathing speed up I returned to longer, harder tongue strokes. She responded to this with her entire body going into spasm, one long loud shout coming from her mouth, her hands, legs, midriff, all shaking and tensing. Her juices were now running as fast as I could lick them up, and I couldn't wait for her any longer.
Taking her legs from my shoulders, I stood up in between her legs, and pushed myself against her. She pulled me inside her in one motion, again moaning as she did so. We stayed perfectly still, savouring the moment. I then moved slowly away from her, until just the tip of me was inside her. Face flushed she tried to pull me into her, and I let her, watching the relief and pleasure hit her like a wave, ripples running across her perfect body. She moaned again, louder, abandoning herself to what was happening. I pulled out of her again, her wetness glistening on me, and plunged back into her again and again, harder, deeper with every thrust. I leaned forward, my body over hers, my hands pinning hers down, her moans with every breath just inches from my face, seeing her face contorting with a mixture of pleasure and defiance -- almost as though she didn't want to admit how much she wanted this. She pushed me away gently, opening her eyes to look at me while she did so. As soon as I was out of her, she jumped off the desk, turned, and leaned forward over it again, not once taking her eyes off of mine. Standing up straight -- and stiff -- I slowly slid inside her from behind. Her hands were now out of my reach, and I saw them curling up as I did so. Holding her hips, I slid out, and in, deeper again than I'd been, and again until every last inch of me was inside her. I wanted to be a sensitive lover, but the moment was here and I wasn't going to waste it, and she *had* told me to fuck her after all... I put one hand to the back of her head, and the other gripped one side of her hips. I pulled her hard onto me, and pulled on her hair, causing an incredible muscle spasm inside. All she could say was "Yes..." over and over, as I proceeded to fuck her as deep and hard as I could, pummelling her, feeling her tensing as I slammed into her.
I held hard to her hair and pulled on it in time with each thrust, hearing her give in again as I felt it. Her body went into a huge convulsion and I had to use both hands on her hips just to stop her from pushing me out. She was biting her lips in a failing effort not to scream from the pleasure now ripping through her, as I
held her hips, barely able to continue this movement. Her body eventually gave way and her body and face lay face down, quivering, every exhalation a sigh or a moan of pleasure. I moved one hand to run through her now tousled hair. She finally managed to open her eyes, gave me a smile, and said when I was ready I should tell her -- and not to stop until I got to that point. Not needing to be told twice, I slid inside her once more, taking a few slow strokes, before once more hammering her hard in a frenzy to reach my own orgasm. Seeing this woman surrendered to me was almost more than I needed, and after only a few minutes I could feel myself coming to a release. As I went to try and tell her this, she was moving already, standing up and turning to face me. She pushed me back a step and knelt down, once more taking me into her mouth. This time though any restraint was well and truly gone -- one hand working my shaft, the other cupping my balls, her head bobbing up and down the length of me, bringing me closer and closer. I could feel the familiar sensation of release and could barely even gasp as ream after ream went into her mouth, and she swallowed every last drop as it hit the back of her throat. Spent and barely able to stand, I looked down at her as she licked the remains of both of our juices off of me, which she did with immense gusto, the satisfied look on her face telling me that it'd been worth the wait.
She looked up at me, stood and put her arms round me, and I did the same to her, savouring this moment. As we parted from the embrace, we each began collecting our discarded clothing. I couldn't help but watch as she pulled her thing back on, fitting it back against her prefect form, and her bra with quick deft movements. As I put my shirt on, I realised I wouldn't be able to button it up, so did up my jacket to cover it. She pinned her hair up again, and threw her own jacket on. As she picked up her bag and headed for the exit, she looked back again, smiled, and told me to go home. She laughed when I asked if it was with her, told me that the projects could be late, and closed the door behind her as she walked out. As I finally got myself composed enough to leave, I realised it was always going to be between just us, and that was the way I liked it. No fuss, no awkwardness, no worrying about the next day. If anything happened again, it'd be the same deal. I just hoped that I'd get an opportunity to repeat the situation.