We never lacked in love from them. There was never a time that we had to sit alone in our rooms and wonder if they’ll love us tomorrow. Everything in our life was perfect… Perfect until we lost Mom.
Logan changed so much that day. Then hardened himself even more when we lost Dad. When we moved in with our grandparents, I shake my head. They were evil plain and simple. I understood immediately why my father stopped talking to them. In fact, the parents that Faith knows, were exactly how my grandparents were.
Logan got emancipated at the age of sixteen and took on legal guardianship over all of us. He didn’t even think twice about quitting school and working to support us. The money from Mom and Dad’s estate, he placed in an interest bearing account and left it there until Landon turned eighteen.
His reasoning for doing that was so that way we’d all have an easier start in life. Our lives, that’s all that he was ever concerned about. Not in one single moment had I ever felt anything from my brother than love. That one night, when he was drunk and trying to forget his pain, was the only night I’ve ever heard him cursing his life.
It was that day that I decided he needed to have some of his life back. Landon and Lucas were away in college, he was free now. Just in time too, I thought with a smile on my face.
Pulling my shirt over my head, I slipped off my sandals. Diving effortlessly into the water, I swam the length and back again.
“Hey,” a small, but sexy voice says.
I stop my laps and look up into almost gray eyes. She was staring at me.
“Hey,” I reply smoothly, swimming over to join her at the edge of the pool.
“So this is your place huh?”
I look at her questioningly. Was she about to fangirl on me? God I hate it when women squeal and throw themselves at me all the time. Yeah sure it’s nice once in a while to not have to work for my next release, but sometimes… Sometimes, a challenge would be a major turn on.
“Yup,” was all I say.
“Why?”
My head snaps in her direction. Shocked not only by her question, but the distaste that seemed to follow the question.
“What do you mean?” I finally ask, dumbfounded.
“What reason could you possibly have to want to have a place so extravagant as this place is?”
Whoa!
“Well I don’t see it that way. Believe it or not, I spend a lot of time here. A break from the screaming and schedules. This is my writing cave. The place I go to to remember who I am and where I came from.”
“You grew up here,” she asks almost shocked.
“No,” I laugh. “Have you met my brother Logan yet?”
She shakes her head. “Not officially no. Faith talked about him all the time, though.” She looks back at the house. “I’m glad she’s got him back. It’s so nice to see her smiling.”
My brain was wracking hardcore to figure out what her name was. I knew she wasn’t Hazel. That girl is so standoffish I wonder if she even knew how to socialize. Of course I knew it wasn’t Lia, she and Leif have been friends for a long time. So that left Emma, Bleu, or Lexi.
As if she read my mind, she bumps my shoulder smiling. “I’m Emma by the way.”
I let out my breath. “Oh thank God,” I meant to say under my breath. But when I heard her laughter that washes over me warming my insides, I know it wasn’t quietly
“Struggling were you?” She teases.
“Well, I didn’t want to call a beautiful woman, such as yourself, by the wrong name and ruin my chances of getting to know her better.”
“Oh, be still my heart, was that a pick up line?”
Grinning at her, “That depends, did it work?”
“Oh, honey, you’ll have to do much better than that. I’m sure you’ll think of something. Until then,” she leans down and kisses me deeply before pulling back. “Mmm, that will have to do until you do better. Have a good night Levi.”
Climbing to her feet, she sauntered away in her barely there bikini. My cock was harder than it has ever been.
“Damn,” I breathe.
Her laughter as she walks inside told me she heard me. She looks at me over her shoulder.
Challenge accepted, beautiful.
# # #
Faith
“I can’t eat another bite. I’m so,” I hiccup. “I’m so full.”
Logan smiles. “Where would you like to go now?”
Oh, I know where I want to go right now with him smiling at me like that, but there was something else I wanted to do too.
“Would you up for a walk on the beach?”
“That sounds wonderful.”
He walks around the counter and holds his hand out for me to take. Placing my hand in his, he smiles as he walks me to the deck doors. Walking down to the beach, the salt and the smell hit me first.
“It is just beautiful here,” I whisper in wonderment.
Taking a deep breath, I let go of Logan’s hand. Spinning in a circle, I lift my face to the warmth of the sun.
“It just so relaxing and beautiful here.”
“It is, but nothing is more beautiful than seeing you smiling like this.”
Logan walks slowly toward me and my heart swells in my chest. He really did love me. I’m not sure I could love this man more than I did five minutes ago and then he looks at me like this and I know that my love for him will continue to grow each and every single day.
“Dance with me?”
I laugh. “There’s no music,” I say shyly.
Logan wraps me in his arms and starts swaying back and forth. Resting my head on his shoulder, I sigh contently. This is the best day in a very very long time.
# # #
The sun was setting by the time we made our way back up to the house. Sex on the beach was far better than I had ever imagined. But maybe it was because I was with a man that saw me as his world.
The feeling of him making love to me will never get old. Though making love on the beach hadn’t been too far off from how we made love in the beginning it was better, more intense. Each moment got better and better.
Just as we walked up on the deck, I notice that Levi had started a fire in the fire pit. He was sitting next to it and strumming his guitar absentmindedly.
“Will you play a song?”
Levi jumps slightly at my question. Giving us a smile, we sit down in the seats around the fire pit.
“Sure. What do you want to hear?”
“Play You made me, me. I think it’s about time the world heard that song,” Logan says quietly.
“Lo, I…”
“You can do it. I believe in you, always have.”
Sitting back a little, Levi starts strumming a beautiful melody out on his guitar. The song was slow and from the sounds of it sad, but I was enraptured just by the melody alone. Then he starts to sing and I’m in awe.
In the empty space in my chest, I wonder what your life would have held for you.
If time had been kinder and you were able to see your life through.
It must be hard to stand so close to what you want and then watch it slip away.
Through your fingers it slips and flies far far away from the light of day.
I ache to see what there could have been
If we didn’t say goodbye to you then.
I’m lost searching for safer ground.
Thankful so thankful to have you around.
In this empty space in my chest, my heart once beat.
But you gave more than one small feat.
I’m the man I am today because of the things you gave.
I’m the man I am today because of all you saved.
When the darkness would start creeping in, I thought of you.
I thought of all you had to go through.
Because you loved me, because you were everything you didn’t have to be.
You made me, me.
The song continues, but my heart is clenched painfully tight in my chest. I have a feeling that
Logan doesn’t fully understand or maybe I’m reading too much into it. When the song came to an end, I watched a tear slip down my boyfriend’s cheek.
“Wow! Was that about your parents?” Emma asks.
She was sitting awfully close to Levi. It’d be nice to see Emma settle down with Levi. They’d be a perfect pair too. Someone to put both of them in place from time to time.
“Yeah, he wrote that…”
“It’s not about Mom and Dad,” Levi mumbles.
“But I…”
Levi cuts him off. “It’s about you.”
“It’s what?” Logan breathes.
“You gave up so much for us, to make sure that we were okay, but gave up on you,” a younger version of Logan spoke up.
“Lanny, I only did…”
“What you had to. Yeah we know you say that all the time. But the fact of the matter is, you didn’t have to do it.” Another James brother says, he’s maybe a little older than Landon.
Man all these brothers look so much alike.
“Luke’s right. You put your life on hold for us. We all had a hand in that song,” Leif says.
“If we would have stayed…”
Levi cut him off. “Yeah, and that’s why we are so thankful for you. We were able to live our lives with a great home life and reach for our dreams. You made sure you supported each and every one of us. Even if it meant no sleep for you between two jobs and all our extracurricular activities. You never bitched and moaned. You just stepped up and filled the shoes of two people almost seamlessly.”
“I don’t need thanked for it. When I did it because Mom and Dad would have wanted it.”
“Maybe so, but you still didn’t have to at age sixteen.” I saw a wicked gleam in Levi’s eyes and I knew he was going to try and lighten the mood. “Shit, bro, when did you lose your virginity?”
Logan glanced down at me and for the first time, I saw him blush.
Holy shit! He was a virgin when we were together.
“No way! Damn brother, we took far more from you than we thought.”
Wanting to get him off the hook, I step in for my man. “Well I for one would never have known. He was freaking amazing and I thought I’d never walk again,” I wink at him.
His brothers all groan and quickly scramble for a topic changer. Logan looks down at me and smiles softly.
“I lost it to the person I’ll love for the rest of my life. There’s no way I can complain about that,” he whispers, before kissing me softly.
We shift over to one of the loungers and I rest against Logan’s chest, watching everyone. Emma seems to be either star struck or taken with Levi. I’m not sure which it is yet. Hazel keeps sneaking peeks at Joey, who stares at her blatantly periodically throughout the night. Leif can’t take his eyes off Lia for a single moment to realize that anything else is even going on.
Lia has loved that man for as long as I have known her. It was very obvious that he feels the same about her. So why aren’t they together yet? It was irritating me.
Lexi kind of sat off by herself just watching everyone. She almost looks sad and that breaks my heart. She had to be one of the most caring people I’ve ever met. The life she had before she met Lia was deplorable at best. She never fully felt included with the girls because of her age. At nineteen, she always thought we saw her as a baby.
Zoey and Lucas seem to be comfortable with each other. They sat next to each other talking amicably. Zoey was a good girl. I’ve only worked with her once, but Lia says she’s a lot like me. Well, I hope she’s had a far better life than I did.
Bleu didn’t seem to want to be a part of the gathering. She was a bit harder than the others. From what Lia tells me, she’s not too happy about being here.
Maybe being out there was a good thing. Maybe the friendships we forge here will be the force that changes our lives as we know it. It could give us an outlet we never had before. Fear may have brought us all out here and together, but it wasn’t what was taking over here.
A smile forms on my lips at the thought.
Chapter Twenty
Logan
“Did you have a good day, baby?” I ask her as we walk upstairs to our room.
“I did,” she smiles sweetly at me.
Faith rests her head on my shoulder and sighs. It makes me feel good to hear the contentment in her sigh. I never thought I’d ever see Faith again, let alone be here with her again as my girlfriend.
The love I have for this woman is timeless. It was proven over the time we’ve been apart. I’ll never let her go again. I wouldn’t survive her walking away again.
“Lo,” Levi calls coming up to us in the hall.
Turning to face him, Faith leans into my chest. “What’s up?” I ask as I wrap her in my arms, feeling her relax into my embrace.
He looks at Faith and smirks. “I need to talk to you about something. It’s kind of important.”
Following his gaze, I look down at Fay, who has fallen asleep in my arms. My heart swells. “Let me get her into bed and we can talk,” I whisper.
Levi nods. I scoop her up in my arms and carry her down to the room. My brother follows opening the door when we get there. Laying her in the bed, I gently touch her face. This sight will never get old, never.
“Hey,” Levi whispers. “I know you don’t want to leave her and I understand. So I’ll just tell you about it in here.”
“Sure,” I say as I move over to the sitting area in the room and he follows me.
“I think there’s something wrong with Joey,” he practically blurts out.
“What do you mean?” My back stiffens at the thought of something being wrong with him.
“I heard a commotion in his room so I knocked. When I opened the door, he… He wasn’t his normal self. Then he had me dig out some pills for him. He was gripping his head like a vice,” shaking his head for a moment. “I’ve never seen him or anyone like that before.”
Staring at my brother, I can see immediately that he was really shaken up by this whole thing. What could be wrong with Joe? He’s never mentioned anything to me and there’s nothing in his record at wor… Realization dawns on me then.
“He’s never going to say what’s going on. I’m betting this has been going on for a while. If he were to say something, he could potentially lose his job for it. No matter how close we all are, he’ll never tell us.”
Levi’s head sagged. “You’re probably right. That bothers me because he’s family. I want to help him, if he needs it. Him suffering,” he flips his hand around, “whatever this is alone bothers me.”
“Me too. I thi…”
My sentence was cut off by a moan from Faith. It wasn’t a good moan. Levi and I both stare at her. She begins to toss and turn in the bed.
“I don’t care,” she screams. “You’ve taken everything from me. I fucking hate you!”
We both look at each other before our attention is drawn back to the bed, where Faith tosses and turns more violently on the bed.
“You’re going to do it anyway. Just fucking do it now. Kill me!”
Standing, I look at my brother, “I can’t let this go on.”
“We’ll talk later,” he says sadly looking at Faith.
My brother leaves and I walk to the bed. Not sure of what is going on, I tried to gauge what I should do.
“Baby,” I say softly. “Baby, wake up for me,” my voice a little louder.
Jerking awake, tears fall down her temples. Her sad, scared eyes meet mine. “He’s never going to stop,” she sobs.
“He will never hurt you again. I promise you. It will not happen,” I tell her emphatically.
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I’m not letting you out of my sight ever again. When we go back home, you’ll move in with me. You can come be my secretary at work. I’m not taking a chance to lose either of you again.”
“You… you want me to move in with you?” She almost sounds shocked and it makes me laugh.
She laughs softly. “I’d never say stuck. I just didn’t ever imagine being back to this point. Honestly, I was going to tell you, though I didn’t know it was you, that I was pregnant and work out visitation. Now, you’re talking about moving in together.”
“Baby, there is no way I’m doing just visitation. Not with our baby or with you,” I smirk.
Her smile is small, but it’s there. That’s all that matters to me. The nightmare was edging away, hopefully. My mind worked frantically to try and come up with something else to take her mind off it, besides making love.
“Tonight was something else, wasn’t it? Sitting around the fire pit.”
She leans back a little. “Your brothers are so grateful for you. What you did for them is incredible. Never thinking twice or complaining. Our baby is going to have one hell of a daddy,” she smiles lovingly at me before kissing me lightly.
“But I have complained,” I sigh. “See, our break up was fairly recent…” That day slowly drifted into my head playing out before my eyes.
“Where are you going?” Levi asks as he walks up to me in the garage.
“Out. You wanted me to get out of the house. Well here I go,” I snarl.
Levi’s eyes widen. “Okay,” the word is drawn out. “Are you okay?”
Moving past him, I climb into my truck mumbling, “What do you care?”
“Logan, you…”
Whatever else Levi was going to say was cut off when I shut the door to my truck and the roar of the engine. Backing down the driveway, I headed out to… Where? I don’t know. All I knew was I needed to leave before I completely lost it in front of them.
Unsure of how many times I kept driving out to the river, I finally stopped at a bar. Not even caring if they served me or not, I just wanted the noise, cigarettes, clinking glasses, music any of it to distract me from the hole that now holds where my heart was.
To my surprise, they served me. Not only do they serve me, but they keep them coming. Then a woman walks up to my table. Walking in circles in front of my table, my stomach turned.
Forbidden Paths Page 14