A Mother's Duty

by June Francis

  ‘Find Jimmy,’ she ordered Mick. ‘He said he was going to your aunt’s house. Ask him can he move himself fast? That trunk has to be shifted. Mr Potter’s complaining. Besides someone might hurt themselves falling over it and I can’t afford to be sued for damages. If Annie’s there, tell her to get back right away. I need her.’

  Mick departed and she turned to Teddy. ‘What about you? Can you walk?’

  ‘If I have to,’ he said, gazing at her with his father’s dark eyes and struggling to his feet.

  ‘Perhaps not,’ she said, and pushed him back down into the chair with a sigh. ‘I hope you cleansed that wound properly.’

  ‘It stung, Ma. Dad would have said it was a waste of good whiskey but Gran used to say they cleaned wounds in the Bible with alcohol.’

  She smiled faintly. ‘Your gran was right but just in case – if that wound does start going bad you must tell me right away. Embarrassment or not, son. I don’t want you dying on me.’ Even though he was forever getting into mischief she loved the bones of him. He had what her mother had called spunk and she admired that in him.

  He nodded and she left him and went upstairs to see to the Potters’ tea herself before finishing the steak and kidney pies and popping them in the oven of the grey-enamelled range.

  Mick and Annie arrived a few minutes later but her cousin promptly disappeared into the dining room to set the tables. ‘Jimmy wasn’t there,’ said Mick. ‘Aunt Jane said he came and went in half an hour.’

  Kitty’s brows knitted. What did Jimmy think she was paying him for? It certainly wasn’t for him to come and go when he pleased or to sit staring into space the way he had done since her mother had died. He was not the only one having to work harder whilst grieving. She remembered the days when he had been dependable and they could have a good laugh about the difficult guests. ‘Did he say where he was going?’

  ‘No. Only that he wanted to leave our Ben with her but he wouldn’t stay and went after him. Will I see to the fires now, Ma?’ She nodded and left him to it, determinedly putting thoughts of Jimmy aside whilst she went on with her preparations for the evening meal.

  The guests had been fed and the dishes washed and stacked away. There was nothing to do until hot water bottles needed filling, and tea and biscuits were served at ten. Kitty was toasting her toes on the fender, trying to relax but giving only part of her mind to reading the Liverpool Echo. Jimmy and Ben were still not home and Annie had left half an hour ago. Even as Kitty’s eyes scanned an article about an Austrian called Hitler being made Chancellor of Germany, she was worrying about the two missing males in her life. She glanced at Mick who was reading a couple of pages of her newspaper and wondered whether to send him in search of them.

  As if aware of her scrutiny, her son looked up. ‘You’re not worrying about those two, are you, Ma? I’m sure there’s no need.’

  ‘You’re probably right.’ She forced a smile, considering what a comfort he was, which reminded her in a peculiar way of Teddy’s torn and bloodied underpants and trousers. She should have put them in to soak, she thought wearily, but hopefully the blood would still come out. She might as well mend them first, though. She reached for her work basket.

  ‘Edward G Robinson’s on the pictures next week,’ said Mick.

  Teddy glanced up. ‘In that new gangster film?’

  Mick nodded.

  ‘Could we go, Ma?’ said Teddy, looking at her eagerly. ‘It seems ages since we’ve been to the pictures.’

  ‘I don’t think you deserve a treat after getting stuck on those railings,’ she said, squinting as she threaded a needle with grey cotton and wondering whether she should get glasses. Her eyesight was definitely not as good as it used to be but giving in and buying a pair would be tantamount to admitting she was no longer young.

  ‘That damn Scottie made me feel a fool.’

  ‘That Scottie saved your bacon,’ said Mick, stroking the cat as it landed on the sheet of newspaper spread across his knees. ‘And you shouldn’t swear in front of Ma. Dad would have said it’s not gentlemanly.’

  He would have too, thought Kitty as she set jagged large stitches. He had believed women needed protecting from the harsher side of life despite the reversal of their marital roles.

  ‘I don’t count damn as a swear word,’ said Teddy.

  ‘It is, you know. You’re cursing the Scottie and condemning him to hell,’ said Mick earnestly.

  Kitty pictured the Scotsman and thought there was a man who could certainly protect a woman if she needed protecting. He had been so big and strong and for a moment she had been physically stirred by his presence in a way she had not been by a man for a long time.

  ‘Oh shut up, know-all!’ Teddy kicked out at Mick and the next moment his arm was about his elder brother’s neck, attempting to drag him off his chair and onto the floor. The cat yowled and struggled free.

  Kitty was thoroughly incensed and not pleased at being roused from her daydream. ‘Teddy, don’t be stupid! You’ll hurt yourself.’ She jumped up from her chair and flicked him across the head with his trousers, but part of her mind was still thinking about the Scottie and wondering what he had made of her when his greeny-brown eyes had passed over her. Thoughtful eyes, seeing eyes! Had they only seen her outer appearance, though? The wispy-haired, anxious mother nudging middle age.

  At that moment the door to the outside railed area opened and Jimmy’s face appeared in the gap. Teddy freed his brother and Mick straightened his collar.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Jimmy slid round the door carrying Ben.

  ‘Nothing!’ chorused the brothers, sitting down feet away from each other.

  Kitty crossed the room and took her sleeping son from Jimmy. ‘Where’ve you been? I’ve been worried sick. It’s almost half past nine.’

  Her brother-in-law squared his jaw. ‘Ask no questions and you’ll get told no lies!’

  Never had he spoken to Kitty in such a way and her temper rose. ‘And what’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘What I said. You’re not my keeper and I’ve a right to me privacy.’

  ‘You’ve got a cheek,’ she said, sitting down with Ben on her knee. His eyelashes flicked open and then closed as he snuggled against her. ‘Privacy is a luxury none of us have in this household. As for being your keeper that’s the last thing I want to be. Besides I was worried about Ben, not you. It’s well past his bedtime.’

  ‘You should know I wouldn’t be letting any harm come to him.’ He scowled. ‘And anyway he shouldn’t have followed me.’

  ‘He’s fond of you! You must know how fond. I can just imagine how he’ll feel if you leave. You won’t will you, Jimmy?’ she said quietly. ‘You know how much I depend on your help.’

  ‘My help,’ he grunted, his cheeks flushing. ‘That’s all I am, though, isn’t it, Kit, a help?’

  ‘What’s wrong with being a help?’ she demanded. ‘I pay you, don’t I?’

  ‘Yeah, but—’ He stopped abruptly. ‘I will be leaving, Kit, unless things change. But I’ll tell you when in my own good time.’

  ‘As long as you do.’ Her voice softened as she wondered what things he wanted changing. Hopefully he just wanted more money, but he’d have to pull his socks up to get it. ‘You’ll be wanting your dinner,’ she said. ‘It’s your favourite, steak and kidney pie.’

  He looked uncomfortable. ‘Me and Ben’ve ate.’

  ‘Ate!’ She could not believe his thoughtlessness. Food cost money and she could not afford to waste it. ‘Where did you eat? Not at Annie’s?’

  His chin came up again. ‘Last thing I’d do. Her family’s another one that would interfere in a man’s life. Families have no right to interfere. Now is there anything you want me to do?’

  Kitty was starting to feel puzzled as well as annoyed. Who could have said that about family not interfering? But perhaps now was not the right time to ask. ‘The Potters’ trunk. Mick’ll give you a hand.’

  She watched them go out, wondering if th
ere was a girl involved. Someone as good-looking as Jimmy was bound to have had women interested in him. Suddenly Ben opened his eyes and looked up at her. ‘Where’s Jimmy gone?’

  ‘He’s gone to do a job. Where did you go with him?’

  ‘Out,’ he said, and wriggled down from her knee.

  Kitty placed herself swiftly in his path and carried his struggling, chubby, little body back to her chair. ‘Where’s out?’

  He gave her a measured look. ‘Jimmy said it was a secret and not to tell.’

  Did he indeed? thought Kitty and brought her head closer to Ben’s. ‘You could tell me. I’ll keep it a secret,’ she whispered.

  He shook his head and a blond curl fell on his forehead. ‘Secret means don’t tell anyone.’ He smiled angelically. ‘I want my cocoa. Miss Drury’s cook doesn’t have cocoa.’

  ‘Doesn’t she now?’ Kitty’s heart gave a peculiar jump and she added grimly. ‘You mean Miss Drury who lives in Princes Road?’

  Ben clapped a hand over his mouth and his expression was anguished. ‘Don’t tell Jimmy I split,’ he said in a muffled voice.

  ‘Split!’ exclaimed Kitty wrathfully. ‘I’ll have him split! What’s he thinking of taking you to Myrtle Drury’s house?’

  Myrtle and Kitty had been in the same class at school but Myrtle’s father had owned several properties in far from salubrious areas of Liverpool and Myrtle had looked down on Kitty who had in turn disliked her intensely. An arrogant little bitch and no better than she should be was what Kitty’s mother’s employer had called Myrtle. Her father had been a widower and there had been a time when he had shown an interest in Kitty’s mother, after her employer had died and left her the house in Crown Street and a little nest egg. For a short while in her adolescent years it had looked like Kitty and Myrtle might have become stepsisters but it had not happened. He had died a few years back and Myrtle had inherited his pile. Immediately she had put up her rents, despite the houses being broken down and often rat-infested. A year ago she had employed a bully boy to frighten those who complained or would not pay up.

  ‘What did Jimmy go and see Miss Drury about?’ asked Kitty.

  Ben shook his head.

  ‘You tell Ma,’ intervened Teddy who had been listening. ‘Or do you want Jimmy to leave? I bet that Miss Drury’s behind this idea of his to go, Ma.’

  Kitty thought he was probably right and was about to attempt to prise more information out of Ben when the door opened and Jimmy and Mick entered.

  ‘The Potters would like tea,’ they both chorused and pulled faces.

  ‘He’s a queer one,’ said Jimmy and shook his head.

  Questions hovered on Kitty’s lips but she decided they would have to wait and hurried upstairs.

  In the kitchen a bell was buzzing. It belonged to one of her regulars, a travelling salesman in patent medicines who, like Ben, enjoyed his bedtime cocoa. She put on a couple of kettles and lifted stone water bottles from a shelf near the floor, wondering if Ben could be mistaken about Myrtle Drury.

  There was a sound at the door and she turned to see Jimmy standing there looking defiant. ‘Ben said you know.’

  ‘Miss Myrtle Drury,’ she said with distaste. ‘How could you? You must know the kind of a bloodsucking vampire she is!’

  ‘Gossip!’

  ‘Gossip or not, it’s true!’

  His mouth tightened. ‘True or not, I don’t care! She’s taking over a hotel in Rhyl and wants me to help her. Plenty of good clean air and the holiday trade bucking up again. I could make a packet.’

  Kitty said grimly, ‘She wants to get you away from me. I bet that’s it. We’ve never liked each other. I can offer you another five shillings but that’s it.’

  ‘It’s not just money,’ said Jimmy, toying with a stopper from one of the bottles. ‘And you’re insulting me thinking it’s only because of you she wants me. She’s prepared to share things with me. Everything in fact.’

  ‘She’s what?’ Kitty did not believe it.

  ‘You heard me! I’m not a noggin, you know, just because I can’t read or write. She wants to marry me.’

  Kitty was flabbergasted. ‘Marry you! But – but she’s not a nice person, love. I could accept your leaving for anyone else but not her. Any nice girl would do but – but not her!’ She repeated the last few words, getting more annoyed with him. ‘She’d eat you for breakfast. Now what about Annie? She loves the bones of you.’

  He scowled and his dark brows hooded his eyes. ‘She’s another reason for me to get out of here, looking at me all the time with spaniel eyes when all the time it’s—’ He hesitated before continuing in a rush. ‘It’s you, Kit, I want you looking at me like that.’

  ‘Like a spaniel,’ she could not help saying and then wished she could have recalled the words because from the expression on his face he was deadly serious. Her heart sank.

  ‘No!’ he yelled. ‘It’s you I’d like to be partners with! Me and you married and running this place together.’

  Kitty stared at him, barely able to believe she had heard the words. ‘You and me married?’

  ‘Yes!’

  ‘But – but you’re Jimmy. You’re Michael’s brother. We couldn’t,’ she babbled. ‘It just wouldn’t be right. Besides haven’t you been running this place with me since Ma and Michael went?’

  ‘No, I haven’t. You’re the boss.’

  There was a deathly silence. So that’s what this is all about, she thought. Suddenly she was angry. ‘You want to be the boss? You think I’m not making a good job of it now Ma’s gone?’

  He flushed. ‘I didn’t say that. I’d settle for running the place alongside you.’

  ‘You mean you want to be part owner?’ She was thinking how, after only a few years of marriage, her widowed mother and herself had had to support themselves and their offspring. ‘Even Michael was not that,’ she added forcefully.

  ‘Michael was sick. His lungs—’

  ‘It wouldn’t have made any difference,’ she cried scathingly. ‘Ma bought this place so nobody could throw us out of it. Michael accepted that it would be mine if anything happened to her. Mine, Jimmy, mine for the boys! It’s all I have for them!’

  ‘But they could still have it,’ he said in a pleading voice. ‘Think about it, Kit. You and me together.’

  She shook her head.

  He looked stricken. ‘I might have stayed for a maybe. But not now.’ He left her.

  Kitty hesitated before hurrying after him. ‘Jimmy, think twice. I know Myrtle from old. She’s a prize bitch. Sooner or later she’ll decide you’re not good enough for her. She’s mean and ruthless and’ll make you unhappy.’

  He halted at the foot of the stairs. ‘I’m unhappy now. Married to her I’ll at least have a husband’s rights.’

  Kitty hissed, ‘I don’t believe she’ll marry you. More likely she’ll string you along and get as much work out of you as she can – and if you step out of line she’ll have her bully boy onto you.’ She could tell from his face he was not convinced and decided to try a different tack. ‘Anyway, think what Michael would have thought about all this?’

  As aware as Kitty was that guests might be listening at doors, he said in a low voice, ‘I wondered when you’d say that. I don’t give a fig what Michael might have thought.’ He reached out and touched her shoulder and his voice dropped even further. ‘Have you ever wondered how it might have been between us if I’d been the elder brother? I’ve always found you attractive, Kit.’ His hand moved and touched her cheek. ‘I know I’m a few years younger than you but you’ve kept yerself well.’

  ‘Thanks very much!’ Those words had surprised her! ‘But stop right there! I wouldn’t feel right about it.’

  ‘Why? Michael’s dead and I’m very much alive! You don’t have to be madly in love with me. But I’ve been like a father to your lads without any of the advantages. You don’t know what it’s been like lying in bed knowing that you were sleeping only a wall away in the next room. There were t
imes when I just couldn’t get you out of my mind.’ He sounded desperate and suddenly he pulled her against him and kissed her, taking her completely by surprise.

  For a moment Kitty was passive in his embrace. She had been lonely for a man’s touch for a while now and if she had felt something she might have reconsidered her decision, but it just did not feel right being held by Jimmy. He had fulfilled the role of the brother she had never had for too long. It was a pity but there it was. It would have to be a clean break, she realised, because things could never be the same between them again. She dragged herself out of his arms. ‘Perhaps it’s best you do leave and maybe you shouldn’t come back,’ she said quietly.

  A flush rose in Jimmy’s neck and spread to his face. ‘God! I never thought I’d hear you say that,’ he said hoarsely. ‘Right, I’ll go to Rhyl and make pots of money and have a helluva good time without your kids hanging round my neck!’ He turned and ran upstairs.

  For a moment Kitty stared after him, hating herself for having to hurt him. But what other choice had she? She stood indecisively for a moment before remembering the kettles were on and marched into the kitchen. Number two’s bell was buzzing again and the kettles were boiling. She made a jug of cocoa and a pot of tea and tried to put aside what had happened in the lobby but the memory was too close and Jimmy had shaken the facade of iron-like control she tried to have over her emotions.

  She went out of the kitchen and under the stairs, calling down to the basement for Mick. When he appeared she told him to see to the hot water bottles whilst she took in a tray to the guests in the Smoking Room. Her mind was buzzing with all Jimmy had said as she exchanged small talk with some of the guests and gave information concerning the best places for bargains to a mother and daughter from Wales. Part of Kitty wanted to cry because she felt emotionally drained. Then she heard the front door slam and suddenly found herself making her excuses and she fled out onto the step. She looked up the lamplit road and saw Jimmy, a rucksack bobbing on his broad back, and called to him.

  He turned. ‘Have you changed your mind?’ he yelled.