by Lexi Ryan
“It is tied to your very life, and it remains a part of you until the moment of your death.” He swallows, and I remember Mordeus saying the same thing. The crown gave me life, and it is tied to my life. “Your mother did the only thing she could and sold herself to protect you. For the price of her life, she was able to hide you from them for seven years. That’s why she left you with your uncle Devlin. She believed that by the time seven years had passed, you’d be clever enough to outwit anyone who would try to steal it from you.”
“And I’ve been angry for nine years.”
“You didn’t know.” He slides his fingers through my hair, examining the ragged ends. “I can’t believe you gave that goblin all your hair.”
Self-conscious, I run my fingers through my short, wild locks. I’ve never been particularly vain, but my hair was one trait I always believed was beautiful. “I’m sure I can’t compete with those other girls now.”
He grabs my hand, stopping me, and squeezes my fingertips. “I sent the girls home.”
“What? But I thought . . .”
“For weeks I’ve been trying to convince myself I could do it. I talked with them, danced with them and . . .” He releases a breath and seems reluctant to say the rest.
“What?”
“They’re not you. They never will be you. And I’m done pretending I can live with that.”
Warmth fills me, and I lean against his chest. “Bash . . .”
“And if you’re not ready for a wedding, my mother will have to deal with it.”
My breath catches at mention of the queen. “How is she?”
“Mother? Stronger than anyone realizes. No one in the shadow court knows the book is linked to her life, so they haven’t used it against her.”
“What will happen if they figure it out?”
He slides his hands around my waist and buries his nose in my hair, taking in a deep breath. “She has the best healers in the realm. They will find a way to fortify her powers, and if they don’t . . .” He’s quiet for so long that I pull away from the heat of his chest so I can see his face. What I see there isn’t grief but thoughtfulness.
“If they don’t?” I prod.
“Mother made choices knowing their consequences.”
“But what about you? She’s still your mother.”
He releases a long breath. “I’ve had years to prepare for this. All I can do is make arrangements to take care of her kingdom as best I can.”
“You seem wiser than your years, Prince Ronan Sebastian. I imagine you’ll make an incredible king when the time comes.”
He gives me a sad smile, and I can almost see the question in his eyes—he will be king, but will I be his queen? I don’t know what’s next for me, and I’ve run out of time to deliberate. But when he opens his mouth, a different question comes out. “Do you want to go see your sister?”
I draw in a sharp breath. “Yes. Can we? Is it possible?”
“I’ll have my people prepare a portal and we’ll go to Nik’s first thing in the morning.”
I frown. “I asked Mordeus to send her to Mage Trifen’s.”
“I had to find somewhere else for her to stay,” Sebastian explains. “Mage Trifen doesn’t do charity.”
No kidding. “I’m sure Nik will make room for her until Jas can afford a place on her own.”
He’s silent for a long beat. “You say that like you’re not planning to stay with her.”
I open my mouth to object, but there’s no objection to make. I take his face in my hands. “I’m so sorry about all the terrible things I’ve said about you and your people.” I swallow. “I love you, Sebastian. I can’t live in Fairscape. It’s no longer my home.”
His expression is guarded as he studies my face. “And where is home?”
“I’m not sure I have one anymore.”
He dips his head and brushes his lips softly against mine. “I’ll make one for you . . . if you’ll let me.”
I curl into him, relishing his heat, his protective strength, and I think I just might.
Chapter Thirty-Five
EVERYTHING ABOUT FAIRSCAPE SEEMS GRAY after weeks in Faerie. From the sky to the houses, the grass to the trees—everything is less vibrant, as if a film of dreariness has been thrown atop the human realm.
Nik’s building looks just as I remember it, and Sebastian squeezes my hand as we approach her unit. Does he know how much these conditions sicken me?
Nik meets us at the door. She grabs my hand and pulls me inside, immediately shutting the door behind us. “They’re still looking for you, Brie.”
“Who—” Gorst. It seems like another lifetime that I broke into his vault to steal money to pay Madame Vivias.
“I’ve been so worried about you. I would’ve thought Gorst’s men got you if they weren’t still looking.” She pulls me into a tight embrace. She smells like soap and rose petals, just like I remember. I’m not sure I realized how much I missed her until this moment.
When she pulls back, she keeps holding my shoulders and looks me up and down. “You look amazing. I told you there were good things in Faerie.” Her gaze lands on Sebastian, and she frowns before looking back to me. The question is on her face—what does he know?
I almost laugh. Sebastian glamoured himself to look human for our visit to the mortal realm, and Nik doesn’t know that he’s fae, let alone that he’s the Seelie prince.
“I know everything,” he says softly, and I nod in confirmation.
“How is she?” I ask.
“She’s okay. She was pretty dehydrated and confused, but she’s doing better. Mage Trifen helped while she was at his place.”
“Thank you so much.”
She turns toward the bedroom. “She’s sleeping, but I’m sure she’ll want to wake up to see you.” Before I can object, she opens the door and lets the light from the living room pour into the tiny bedroom. “Jas? Your sister’s here.”
My throat is tight as I walk forward. How many times in the last weeks have I asked the mirror to show me my sister just so I would feel less alone? How many times did I want to give up but kept going for her? I rush forward as she leaps from the bed, and we meet in the middle of the bedroom.
Jas shakes as she curls into my chest, sobbing quietly. “I knew you’d come. I knew you’d find me.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long.” I pull back and study her. She looks different—still a girl but one who’s seen too much. There are dark circles under her eyes, but unlike the last time I saw her in the mirror, there’s color in her cheeks. “I have so much to tell you.”
Jas looks over my shoulder. “Sebastian,” she says with a smile. “You helped too?”
“Your sister did it on her own.” His voice is thick with emotion. “She would have done anything to save you. Would have given anything.” There’s sorrow in those words and a bit of heartbreak.
Sebastian stays by my side as I explain everything to Jas. I tell her who he is and how I found out. I tell her about my deal with Mordeus and my misguided friendship with the exiled prince and his band of misfit faeries. I tell her about our mother, and Sebastian squeezes my hand a little tighter when I explain the curse.
If it’s all too much for her when she’s still recovering from weeks as Mordeus’s prisoner, she doesn’t let on. When I’m done with my story, Sebastian kisses my forehead and releases my hand. “I’ll leave you two to talk.”
He leaves the room and shuts the door behind him. I press my palm to the tug in my chest as I watch him go.
“Have you told him yet?” Jas asks.
I turn back to my sister. “Told him what?”
She smiles weakly, but I see an echo of my hopeful little sister in the upward tilt of her lips. “That you’re in love with him?”
I swallow. “He knows.”
She tilts her head to the side. “Then why do you look so sad?”
Because I never believed I’d trust a fae prince, let alone two. Because I finally made some frien
ds and found out they were using me. Because I hurt Sebastian and it’s going to be hard to forgive myself for that.
“Brie,” she says, squeezing my hand. “What is it?”
“I don’t think I’m staying in Elora.”
“What? Why? Surely if we leave Fairscape, Gorst won’t—”
“I’ll never be safe here, not so long as I wear this crown.”
“You’re returning to Faerie?”
Weeks ago, I was the one who said the name of the magical realm with disdain and Jas was the one who wanted to go there. Today our roles have reversed.
“I’ll be with Sebastian,” I say, trying to make it sound like I’m not just hiding. “I want to do what I can to . . . help with things there.” I bow my head before risking a look back at her. “Would you go with us?”
Her eyes go wide. Her fear is so palpable I can almost smell it. I can’t blame her. All she knows of Faerie is her experience being a prisoner of the Unseelie Court. “Brie . . .”
“To the Court of the Sun. We would keep you safe.”
Her hands shake harder and harder until her whole body is vibrating with fear. “The things I saw in the dungeons . . . the horrible things I heard—”
“You don’t have to,” I blurt. I hate being the cause of the pain on her face. “I love you so much,” I whisper. “If you need me here, I will stay.”
“I love you too.” She wraps her arms around my waist. “You deserve to be happy, Brie. You’ve worked so hard for so long. You’ve done everything to protect me, and I can’t handle seeing you sacrifice yourself one more time for me.”
“But I don’t want to leave you.”
“Just give me time. I need to stay here awhile, and when I’m better, I’ll join you.” She tries to smile, but the shaky curve of her lips doesn’t hide the lie from either of us.
“I’ll visit you as often as I can,” I say, but I already know it won’t be as often as either of us would like. The hot tears on my cheeks are barely a hint of the grief I feel at telling her goodbye.
There’s a knock at the door, then Nik opens it a crack and sticks her head in. “Brie, it’s time. I’m sorry, honey, but I can’t risk Gorst finding you here.”
I nod but don’t take my eyes off Jas.
“Go,” she says. “I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll miss you every day.”
“Visit me in my dreams like you did when we were kids.” She grins and waves goodbye, but as Sebastian hurries me toward the portal, I remember the old joke. After we moved in with Uncle Devlin, Jas would wake up some mornings and thank me for the adventure I took her on in her dreams. Were they just dreams, or did I have access to that part of my power even as a child in the human realm?
Chapter Thirty-Six
WHEN WE RETURN TO THE GOLDEN PALACE, my mind is still in Fairscape with Jas.
Sebastian escorts me to my room, and when I stop at the door and turn to him, he studies me. “I’ll take you back to see her soon,” he says.
“Thank you, Sebastian.”
“It’s nothing.”
“No, thank you for . . . everything. For standing by me through all this when anyone else would send me away.” I close my eyes. “For forgiving me for taking the book and for . . . understanding the choices I made.”
I feel his fingertips on my chin, sliding along my jaw and into my hair, and when I open my eyes, his are full of anguish. “I love you, Abriella. All that matters to me is that you’re here with me now. We’ll figure out the rest. Together.”
I search his beautiful eyes, his strong yet fine features. “I want to be bonded with you.”
Sebastian swallows, and his eyes widen. “You’re sure?”
I nod. I can’t stop thinking of the Banshee—of death sitting on my chest. Or of the crown that sits on my head and the false king and the Unseelie prince who tried to trick me out of it. The prince who was willing to let me die so he could claim this throne. “Mordeus was right about one thing. As long as this crown is on my head, my life won’t be my own. If it’s not Finn after the crown, it will be another Unseelie. Until we can figure out how to get rid of it safely, I need the bond so you can protect me.”
“I thought you were against humans bonding with faeries.”
I take both of his hands in mine. “I trust you.”
He brings my hands to his lips and kisses them each twice. “I vow to do everything in my power to give you a good life. To make you happy and protect you.”
* * *
Sebastian chose to do the bonding ceremony on the balcony outside his chambers at dusk, and my maids are giddy as they prepare me for the occasion, styling my ear-length mess of curls as best they can and taking extra time on my makeup.
When they bring out my dress, my breath catches.
“Sebastian gave us your sister’s muslin mockup, and we did our best from there. Is it what you wanted?”
“Yes.” I take in the thin emerald-colored velvet, and my vision goes blurry with tears. Only Sebastian would have thought to let me wear something designed by my sister on this special night. The dress isn’t a dress at all, but the outfit Jas had designed for me to wear to Faerie. The one she wasn’t able to finish because Madame V sold her.
“No crying now,” Tess says, wiping at her own eyes. “You’ll make me start.”
I step into the loose-legged pants, and the velvet feels decadent against my skin. Emmaline helps me into the fitted top with its deep V.
She places a matching emerald necklace around my neck. “Also from the prince,” she says.
I close my eyes. Has he been holding the muslin mockup of this dress all this time? Saving it for this occasion?
“Why are you so sad?” Emmaline asks. “You look stunning.”
“I’m not sad.” I draw in a ragged breath. “I’m ready.”
* * *
The view of the sunset from Sebastian’s balcony is breathtaking, but nothing compared with the man who stands in front of it.
Sebastian’s resplendent in a white tunic and pants of the finest linen. There are no weapons on him tonight, only a single day lily in his hand. His eyes fill with tenderness as he tucks the flower behind my ear. “You’re so beautiful.”
I duck my head, feeling inexplicably shy, and look up at him through my lashes. “Thank you for the dress. And the necklace.”
He offers me a glass of wine from a nearby table, and I take it, grateful to have something to ease my nerves.
“I had the staff hold back a bottle of solstice wine. Typically, it’s only served on Litha, but since you liked it so much . . .” He lifts his glass and taps it to mine. “Here’s to you, Abriella. I’ve only dreamed of being bonded to such an incredible woman.”
Tears prick at my eyes again. “And to you,” I whisper. “And a new beginning for both of us.”
We both drain our glasses, but my hands are still shaking when we return them to the table.
Sebastian summons a pile of runestones in his open palm and extends them to me.
I hesitate before reaching for one, all too aware of the magnitude of what we’re about to do. I’m ready for this lifelong bond, and yet—
No. No more doubts and no more secrets. I trust Sebastian, and I need to allow him this bond so he can protect me through whatever comes next.
Before I can change my mind, I reach for an oblong alabaster stone. The moment my fingers touch it, the rest disappear. I turn it in my palm to study the symbol. One long, thick line stretches from top to bottom of the longest side of the stone, another line angles off it to the right, and a swirl crosses the middle.
“It’s beautiful,” I whisper, stroking my thumb across the imprint. I flick my gaze up to Sebastian. His eyes are locked on the stone, and his face has fallen. “What’s wrong?”
He swallows and shakes his head. “Nothing. It’s fine.”
“What does it mean?”
“This symbol can mean sorrow and loss.” He clasps his hand over mine, pressing the stone ti
ght between our palms. “But it can also mean rebirth after those things. New beginnings, like you said.” He bows his head and brushes his lips against mine, keeping our hands clasped. “Are you ready?”
I search his face. I love that he’s not rushing this, that he understands what it means to me. “I’m ready.”
“Abriella Kincaid, I bond my life to yours. I will feel your joy and know your pain. Near or far, we will always be close in heart, connected in spirit.”
“Prince Ronan Sebastian,” I say, repeating the vows as I was instructed. “I bond my life to yours. I will feel your joy and know your pain. Near or far, we will always be close in heart, connected in spirit.”
His lowers his head, brushing his smile across mine, his hand still holding mine tightly, almost as if he’s afraid I’ll pull away.
“Is that it?” I ask. I thought I might feel different somehow, but I don’t.
“It takes a moment,” he says. He sprinkles whisper-soft kisses down my neck and pulls my body close. Pleasure and anticipation shimmer through me. We kiss and kiss until the evening air wraps around us, like a band holding us together.
Then it’s there—a connection between us, something snapping and electric, a power pumping through me to him in an infinite loop.
“Sebastian,” I whisper. The rune is no longer between our palms. “Where did it go?”
He shifts the green velvet at my décolletage to the side and smiles. There, inked on my skin, is the rune that disappeared from our clasped hands.
The sight reminds me of Finn’s chest and all those runes inked there. Does each represent someone he bonded with? A life he stole?
I push the thought from my mind. Tonight is about Sebastian and me. About us. “Do you have one too?”
Swallowing, he nods and turns our joined hands to show me the inked symbol on the inside of his wrist. “We are bonded.”
My vision blurs, and my knees go weak under me. “I think I need to sit down.”
Sebastian’s face pales, but he takes my arm and leads me to a chair just inside his chambers. “I’m going to need you to drink this,” he says, pulling a vial from a pouch at his side.