For weeks, months, even years every time he heard a car come up the long driveway he would feel his heart leap in hope that she was coming back.
She never did.
Doug looked at Zach. ‘It wasn’t her fault. Not all of it. I was fighting to keep this place going after your grandfather died and then your grandmother so soon after. I didn’t give her the attention she needed. You can’t take an orchid out of an English conservatory and expect it to survive in the Outback. You have to nurture it, protect it.’
‘Do you still love her?’
Doug’s mouth twisted. ‘There’s a part of me that will always love your mother. Maybe not the same way I did. It’s like keeping that old pair of work boots near the back door. I’m not quite ready to part with them yet.’
‘I’m not sure Mum would appreciate being compared to a pair of your old smelly work boots,’ Zach said wryly, thinking of his mother’s penchant for cashmere and pearls and designer shoes.
A small sad smile skirted around the edges of Doug’s mouth. ‘No...probably not.’
A silence passed.
‘Why’s it too late for you and Margie?’ Zach asked. ‘You’re only fifty-eight. She’s, what? Fifty-two or -three? You could have a good thirty or forty years together.’
‘Look at me, Zach.’ His father’s eyes glittered with tightly held-back emotion. ‘Take a good look. I’m like this now, shuffling about like a man in his eighties. What am I going to be like in five or even ten years’ time? You heard what the specialist said. I was lucky to get this far. I can’t do it to Margie. I can’t turn her into a carer instead of a wife and lover. It’d make her hate me.’ His chin quivered as he fought to keep his voice under control. ‘I couldn’t bear to have another woman I love end up hating me.’
‘I think you’re underestimating Margie,’ Zach said. ‘She’s not like Mum. She’s strong and dependable and loyal.’
‘And you’re such a big expert on women, aren’t you, Zach? You’ve got one broken engagement on the leader board already. How soon before there’s another?’
‘There’s not going to be another.’
‘Why?’ His father’s lip was still up in that nasty little curl. ‘Because you won’t risk asking her, will you?’
Zach could barely get the words out through his clenched teeth. ‘Ask who?’
His father pushed himself to his feet, nailing Zach with his gaze. ‘That toffee-nosed little doctor you spend every spare moment of your time with.’
‘I’m not in love with Isabella Courtney.’
‘No, of course you’re not.’ Doug gave a scornful grunt of laughter. ‘Keep on telling yourself that, son. If nothing else, it’ll make the day she leaves a little easier on you.’
* * *
Izzy knew it was cowardly of her to pretend to be busy with catching up on emails and work-related stuff two nights in a row but spending all her spare time with Zach was making it increasingly difficult for her to keep her emotions separate from the physical side of their relationship. No wonder sex was called making love. Every look, every touch, every kiss, every spine-tingling orgasm seemed to up the ante until she wasn’t sure what she felt any more. Was it love or was it lust?
Had it been a mistake to indulge in an affair with him? She had spent four years making love—having sex—with Richard and had never felt anything like the depth of feeling she did with Zach, and she had only known him three weeks.
And there was only one to go.
Margie looked very downcast when Izzy got to the clinic the next morning. She was sitting behind the reception desk with red-rimmed eyes and her shoulders slumped. ‘Don’t ask.’
‘Doug?’
Margie reached for a tissue from the box on her desk. ‘He said it’s best if we don’t see each other any more, only as friends. I’ve been friends with him for most of my life but it’s not enough. I want more.’
‘Oh, Margie, I’m so sorry. I thought things were going so well.’
Margie dabbed at her eyes. ‘It’s my fault for thinking I could change his mind. I should have left well alone. Now he knows how I feel about him it makes me feel so stupid. Like a lovesick schoolgirl or something.’
‘Is there anything I can do?’
‘Not unless you can make him fall out of love with his ex-wife.’
Izzy frowned. ‘Do you really think that’s what it’s about?’
‘What else could it be? Olivia was his grand passion.’ Margie plucked another tissue out of the box and blew her nose.
‘What if it’s more to do with his limitations? He’s a proud man. Having to rely on others for help must be really tough on someone like him.’
‘But I love him. I don’t care if he can’t get around the way he used to. Why can’t he just accept that I love him no matter what?’
Izzy gave her a sympathetic look. ‘Maybe he needs more time. From what I’ve read of his notes, his injuries were pretty severe. And this latest bout of renal colic has probably freaked him out a bit. It’s very common for every ache or pain in someone who’s suffered a major illness or trauma to get magnified in their head.’
Margie gave a sound of agreement. ‘Well, enough about me and my troubles. How are you and Zach getting on?’
‘Fine.’
‘Just fine?’
Izzy picked off a yellowed leaf from the pot plant on the counter. ‘There’s nothing serious going on between us. We both know and understand that.’
‘Would you like it to be more?’
‘I’m leaving at the end of next week.’
‘That’s not the answer I was looking for,’ Margie said.
‘It’s the only one I’m prepared to give.’
Margie looked at her thoughtfully for a lengthy moment. ‘Don’t make the same mistake I made, Izzy. I should’ve told Doug years ago what I felt for him. Now it’s too late.’
‘I spent four years with a man and then realised I didn’t love him enough to marry him,’ Izzy said. ‘What makes you think I would be so confident about my feelings after less than four weeks?’
Margie gave her a sage look. ‘Because when you know you just know.’
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
IZZY WALKED DOWN to the community centre during her lunch break. She had arranged to meet Peggy McLeod there as well as Caitlyn Graham, who had finally agreed to work with Peggy in a mentor and mentee role. Peggy as a mother and grandmother with years of wisdom and experience working in the community was just what Caitlyn needed as a role model. Peggy had even offered to babysit Skylar occasionally when the boys were at school so Caitlyn could get a bit of a break. But when Izzy arrived at the centre Peggy was on her own.
‘Where’s Caitlyn?’
Peggy gave Izzy a miffed look over her shoulder as she placed a box of building blocks on the shelves one of the local farmers had made specially. ‘Decided she had better things to do.’
‘But I confirmed it with her yesterday,’ Izzy said. ‘She said she was looking forward to it. It was the first time I’d ever seen her excited about something.’
‘Yes, well, she called me not five minutes ago and told me she’s changed her mind.’
Changed her mind or had it changed for her? Izzy wondered. ‘I think I’d better go and check on her. Maybe one of the kids is sick or something.’
‘The boys are at school,’ Peggy said. ‘I waved to them in the playground when I drove past.’
‘Maybe Skylar’s sick.’
‘Then why didn’t she just say so?’
Izzy frowned. ‘What did she say?’
Peggy pursed her lips. ‘Just that she’d changed her mind. Told me she didn’t want me babysitting for her either. I’ve brought up five kids and I’m a grandmother twelve times over. What does she think I am? An axe murderer or something?’
‘Don’t take it personally,’ Izzy said. ‘She’s not used to having anyone step in and help her. I’ll duck out there now and see if I can get her to change her mind.’
* * *
Izzy thought about calling Zach to come with her but changed her mind at the last minute. His car wasn’t at the station in any case and she didn’t want to make a big issue out of what could just be a case of Caitlyn’s lack of self-esteem kicking in. She’d tried calling her a couple of times but the phone had gone to message bank.
Caitlyn’s old car was parked near the house but apart from the frenzied barking of the dog near the tank stand there was no sign of life. Izzy walked tentatively to the front door, saying, ‘Nice doggy, good doggy,’ with as much sincerity as she could muster. She put her hand up to knock but the door suddenly opened and she found herself face to face with a thick-set man in his late twenties, who was even scarier than the dog lunging on its chain to her left.
‘What do you want?’ the man snarled.
‘Um... Hello, is Caitlyn home? I’m Isabella Courtney, the locum filling in for—’
‘Did she call you?’
‘No, I just thought I’d drop past and—’
‘She don’t need no doctor so you can get back in your fancy car and get the hell out of here.’
The sound of Skylar crying piteously in one of the back rooms of the house made Izzy’s heart lurch. ‘Is Skylar OK? She sounds terribly upset. Is she—?’
‘You want me to let the dog off?’ His cold eyes glared at her through the tattered mesh of the screen door.
Izzy garnered what was left of her courage. She straightened her shoulders and looked him in the eye with what she hoped looked like steely determination. ‘I’d like to talk to Caitlyn before I leave.’
Wayne suddenly shoved the screen door wide open, which forced her to take a couple of rapid steps backwards that sent her backwards off the veranda to land in an ungainly heap on her bottom in the dust. ‘I said clear off,’ he said.
Izzy scrambled to her feet, feeling a fool and a coward and so angry and utterly powerless she wanted to scream. But she knew the best thing to do was to leave and call Zach as soon as she was out of danger. She dusted off the back of her skirt and walked back to her car with as much dignity as she could muster. Her hand trembled uncontrollably as she tried to get her car key in the ignition slot to start the engine. It took her five tries to do it. Her heart was hammering in her chest and terrified sobs were choking out of her throat as she drove out of the driveway.
* * *
Zach was on the road when he got a distressed call from Izzy. ‘Hey, slow down, sweetheart. I can’t understand a word you’re saying.’
She was crying and gasping, her breathing so erratic it sounded like she was choking. ‘I think Wayne’s hurt Caitlyn. She didn’t turn up at the playgroup. I heard Skylar screaming in the background. I think he’d been drinking. I could smell it. You have to do something. You have to hurry.’
‘Where are you?’
‘I—I’m on the road just past the t-turnoff.’
‘Stop driving. Pull over. Do it right now.’ He didn’t let out his breath until he heard her do as he’d commanded. ‘Good girl. Now wait for me. I’m only a few minutes away. I’ll call Rob for back-up. Just stay put, OK?’
‘OK...’
Zach called his colleague and quickly filled him in. He drove as fast as he could to where Izzy was parked on the side of the road. She was as white as a stick of chalk and tumbled out of the car even before he had pulled to a halt.
He gathered her close, reassuring himself she was all right before he put her from him. ‘I’m going to check things out. I’ve called the volunteer ambulance and put them on standby. I want you to stay here until I see what the go is. I’ll call you if we need you. It might not be as serious as you think.’
Her eyes looked as big as a Shetland pony’s. ‘You won’t get hurt, will you?’
‘Course not.’ He quickly kissed her on the forehead. ‘I’ve got a gun, remember?’
* * *
Izzy took a steadying breath as she waited for Zach to contact her. It seemed like ten hours but it was only ten minutes before he called her to inform her Caitlyn and Skylar were fine. ‘Brody was his usual charming self,’ he said. ‘But Caitlyn insisted he hadn’t hurt her or the child. She didn’t appear to have any marks or bruises and the child seemed settled enough. She was sound asleep when I looked in on her. Apparently Brody was insisting she take a nap and wouldn’t let Caitlyn go in to comfort her.’
‘And you believed him?’
‘I can’t arrest him without evidence and Caitlyn swears he didn’t do anything.’
Izzy blew out a breath of frustration. ‘If he didn’t hurt her today he will do sooner or later. I just know it.’
‘Welcome to the world of tricky relationships.’
They can’t get any trickier than the one I’m in, Izzy thought. ‘Can I see you after work?’
‘Not too busy with emails and video calls to your friends?’
‘Not tonight.’
‘Good,’ he said. ‘I happen to be free too.’
* * *
Izzy got back to the clinic in time to see her list of afternoon patients but just as she was about to finish for the day Margie popped her head into her consulting room. ‘You got a minute?’
‘Sure.’ Izzy put down the pen she had been using to write up her last patient’s details, mentally preparing herself for another emotional outpouring of Margie’s unrequited love story. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to listen or support her. It was just too close to what she was feeling about Zach. How could it be possible to fall in love with someone so quickly? Did that sort of thing really happen or was that just in Hollywood movies? Was she imagining how she felt? Was it just this crazy lust fest she had going on with him that was colouring her judgement?
Margie rolled her lips together, looking awkward and embarrassed as she came into the room. ‘It’s not about Doug or anything like that... It’s a personal thing. A health thing.’
‘What’s the problem?’
‘I found a lump.’
‘In your breast?’
Margie nodded, and then gave her lower lip a little chew. ‘I’ve been a bit slack about doing my own checks but when you ordered that mammogram for Kathleen Fisher earlier today it got me thinking. I went to the bathroom just then. I found a lump.’
Izzy got up from her chair and came from behind the desk. ‘Hop on the examination table and I’ll have a feel of it for you. Try not to worry too much. Breast tissue can go through lots of changes for any number of reasons.’
Margie lay back on the table and unbuttoned her blouse and unclipped her bra. ‘I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid not to check my own breasts. I haven’t done it for months, maybe even a couple of years.’
Izzy palpated Margie’s left breast where, high in the upper part, there was a definite firm nodule, about the size of a walnut. ‘You’re right, there is a lump there. Is it tender at all?’
‘No, it’s not sore at all. It’s cancer, isn’t it?’
‘Hang on, Margie. It could be any of several things. It could be a cyst, some hormonal thickening, maybe a benign tumour. It could possibly be cancer, but we have to do some tests in Bourke to tell what it is.’
‘What do we do now?’ Margie’s expression was stricken. ‘I’m worried. What am I going to tell the kids?’
‘We’ll do what we always do—we’ll go step by step, figure out what the lump is and then fix it,’ Izzy said. ‘First we get a mammogram and ultrasound. Then, at the same time, we’ll get the mammogram people to take a needle sample of the lump. That should give us the diagnosis. If it’s a cyst, we just aspirate the fluid with a needle and that’s usually the end of it. If the biopsy shows cancer cells, we get a surgeon to deal with it.’
‘If it’s cancer, will I have to have a mastectomy?’
‘Mastectomies are very uncommon these days. Usually just the lump plus one lymph gland is removed, and then the breast gets some radiotherapy. If the lymph node was positive, possibly some more surgery to the armpit and maybe some chemo or hormonal therapies.’
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Margie swung her legs off the examination table, her expression contorted with anguish as her fingers fumbled with the buttons on her blouse. ‘I don’t want to die. I have so much I want to do. I want to see my grandkids grow up. I want Doug to—’ She suddenly looked at Izzy. ‘Oh, God, what am I going to say to Doug? He’ll never want me now, not if I’ve got cancer.’
Izzy took Margie’s hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. ‘No one’s talking about dying. These days breast cancer is a very treatable disease when it’s caught early. Let’s take this one step at a time.’
‘But who will run the clinic while I go to Bourke for the biopsy?’
‘I’m sure I’ll manage for a day without you,’ Izzy said. ‘I can divert the phone to mine, or maybe I could ask Peggy to sit by the phone. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.’
Margie sank her teeth into her lip. ‘You know...the scary thing is if you hadn’t been here filling in for William Sawyer I might not have bothered asking him to check me. I’ve known him so long it’s kind of embarrassing, you know?’
‘A lot of women feel the same way you do about seeing a male doctor for anything gynaecological or for breast issues, but all doctors, male or female, are trained to assess both male and female conditions.’ Izzy wrote out the biopsy order form and a referral letter. ‘I’ll phone the surgeon and see if I can get you in this week. The sooner we know what we’re dealing with the better.’
‘Thanks, Izzy.’ Margie clutched the letter to her chest. ‘I don’t mind if you tell Zach about this. I think Doug would want to know.’
‘Why don’t you call Doug yourself?’
Margie’s eyes watered up. ‘Because I’ll just howl and blubber like a baby. I think it’s better if he hears it from Zach. Will you be seeing him tonight?’
‘He’s dropping in after work.’
Margie’s hand stalled on the doorknob as she looked back at Izzy over her shoulder. ‘William is going to retire in a year or so. Maybe if you stayed you could job-share or something.’
Flirting with the Socialite Doc (Mills & Boon Medical) Page 13