Cerise hadn’t heard that voice call out to her in over five years.
As she walked down the road, which was lit by streetlights and the moon overhead, she’d been lost in thought. Although Nathan had left the province, he seemed unable to leave her heart or mind. No matter what line of thought she was on, it always seemed to lead to her boyfriend.
Well, until Steven had called out to her.
As soon as his familiar, kind voice met her ears, she was brought back five years to the summer of ’07. Any thoughts of Nathan were erased, as she was taken back in time.
It had been a hotter summer than usual. One afternoon, while the sun scorched her from the blue sky above, she saw one of the kids from her street biking on his driveway. He only lived two houses down the road, with only one of his parents—his dad if she remembered correctly.
Watching him bike and up and down the driveway, she wondered why he didn’t bike any further. He would roll down the driveway and abruptly turn around before his blue bike rolled onto the street. Then he would bike slowly up the driveway, loop around, and do it all over again.
Finally, she could resist her curiosity no longer.
Taking her own bike, which lay on her front lawn, she set out towards him. She would have to bike quickly away, for her helmet was still inside, and her parents forbid biking without proper equipment.
“Hey!” She called out to the kid as he rolled towards her.
Pedaling backwards, his bike came to a jarring stop. His blue eyes widened, while shyly drifting to the driveway. Without saying anything, he attempted to bike back up the driveway, but she called out to him.
“Come back! Where are you going?”
This time when he stopped his bike, he got off it and propped his bike up with the kickstand. His dark, straight hair stuck out of his helmet and flipped upwards. Beads of sweat formed on his brown, tanned face. Most of his face had Native American features, except for his very blue, European eyes.
Sauntering towards her, he undid the helmet strap and carried it under his arm.
“Hi,” he smiled shyly before coming to a stop a few steps in front of her.
She blushed as their eyes met, “I’m Cerise.”
“Steven.” He awkwardly stuck out a hand, seemed to think better of it and put it back in his pocket. His face turning a bright crimson, he stared back at his bike.
Giggling, she held out her hand. “Shake it.”
After some hesitation, he did.
When their hands met, she didn’t want to let go—but he did.
“Why are you only biking on the driveway?”
“My dad won’t let me go anywhere else.”
“Oh.” Cerise raised her eyebrow, a mischievous grin on her face. “My dad always makes me wear a helmet. But sometimes,” she pointed at her auburn hair, “I don’t.”
Steven fidgeted nervously.
“C’mon. Just once around the block.” She tilted her head to the side, eyebrows still raised. “It’s more fun than your driveway.”
“I’m not allowed.”
“Just once.” She took him by the hand, leading him back to his bike. “It won’t hurt you.”
“My dad might though.” Steven looked down at his bike, then into her eyes. With a defeated sigh, he nodded his head. “Just this once.” Putting on his helmet, he kicked up the kickstand and got onto his bike.
Cerise got on her bike and they both started pedaling down the quiet, suburban road. Dandelion seeds drifted past them as they picked up speed. Side by side they biked all the way to the stop sign. A car roared past them on the intersecting road.
“I think we should go back.”
“Race you to the park!” Cerise ignored his uncertainty, giving him a slight push as she took off pedaling down the street. She heard his tires rolling quickly after her own. Smiling, she saw that he was picking up speed. “I’m gonna beat you!” She pedaled harder, but was surprised when it was Steven who was making the most headway.
Pulling ahead of her, she couldn’t pedal nearly as fast.
“Sure about that?” Steven turned his head, a victorious expression on his face. Only, he wasn’t watching the parked van on the street. The side of his handle smacked into the vehicle, and sent his bike careening to the side.
Steven rolled off his bike, which lay on its side, one of its wheels spinning furiously.
Laughing, Cerise looped back around, coming to a stop at his side. “I’m sure about it.”
He looked into her eyes, his blue eyes sparkling. A smile sat on his face, right next to a deep, red gash. “That hurt.”
“I bet,” giggling, she helped him to his feet, wiping her thumb over his cut. “C’mon. Let’s get you home.”
Nodding his head, he limped beside her as they walked their bikes back to his place.
Every day after that, at least for the summer, they would spend together. Biking, walking to the parks nearby, getting Slurpees, spending time at one another’s house and becoming the best of friends.
But like all good things, it didn’t last.
Now here she was, five years later, walking up on his front lawn. Staring up at him as he got to his feet on his balcony, leaning against the railing.
In place of that once awkwardly cute boy, was a young man that bore little resemblance to her old friend. Now his long, black hair was short and styled up. Even in the darkness, she could see his face was almost one of a stranger’s. Handsome, but not familiar. Only his sharp, breathtaking blue eyes bore any resemblance to his younger self.
“Hey, Cerise.” He called out to her, his voice sounding loudly in the still night. Turning around, he slid the glass door to his room shut. Going back to the railing, he wore a sheepish smile on his face. “Sorry for startling you.”
“Steven!” She came closer to his balcony, holding her hand to her heart. “You should be, nearly gave me a heart attack!” Laughing, she brushed some of her hair from her eyes, wishing now that she’d prettied herself up. Thankfully the dark did a good job of obscuring her. “What are you doing up there?”
“Couldn’t sleep. Sorry for scaring you; what are you doing out so late?”
She folded her arms over her chest, a smile on her lips. “Believe it or not, I was just going to grab some coffee.”
“At one in the morning? You must really like coffee.” Laughing, he climbed on top of his railing and sat on the cool stone, a good ten feet above the grass below.
“I do.”
“You were going out alone?”
“Sadly, yes.”
“Can I change that? If you give me a minute, I’ll join you.” Steven got off the railing and stood on his balcony.
Cerise was surprised at his forwardness, raising an eyebrow; she did her best to suppress the large grin growing on her face. Nodding her head, she knew that five years was long enough to forgive and forget past hurts. “Okay.”
She made out a smile on his face, and he put up a finger to indicate he wouldn’t be too long and went back into his room. She could hear him shuffling around for several minutes.
She took a seat on the lawn, swatting at the mosquitoes that swarmed around her.
“Just a minute?” She teased when he came out five minutes later.
“Hey, not everyone can look good at one in the morning.” He climbed over the railing, dropped onto the grass, and winced as his ankles took the brunt of the fall. “Damn!” He stumbled to his feet, offered Cerise a hand, but saw that she was already standing.
“Smooth, are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” He grunted, turning back to look at his house.
Cerise saw the embarrassed expression on his face. She poked him in the side. “You always jump out of the balcony like that?” She brushed a piece of grass off his shoulder.
“It didn’t look that far from up there.” He glanced at her hand on his shoulder and she put it back in her pocket.
“First time sneaking out?” She
saw that he kept glancing over his shoulder.
“Maybe.”
“You always were the goody-goody.” Cerise remembered how getting him to do anything other than what his father said was nearly impossible. One time, when they were both watching a movie, he left halfway through, so he wouldn’t be even a minute past curfew. No matter how much she promised it would be okay, he refused to do the ‘wrong’ thing.
“It’s called growing up Christian.” Steven’s tone was filled with resentment near the end of his sentence. Lightening his tone, he asked, “Are we going to the Timmies down the road?”
“No, the one at the end of the city.”
Steven blinked, and then a small smile formed on his face. “I don’t recall you being so sarcastic last time we talked.”
“Five years is a long time.”
“Yes,” he glanced over his shoulder one last time, studying his dark house with a relieved sigh. “I guess it is.” He nodded his head, biting his lower lip. “So why are you going to Tim Horton’s so late at night?”
“Couldn’t sleep either.” They walked side by side on the dark, house-lined road, their pace slow and relaxed. Cerise kept a good distance between them, so her arms could swing back and forth without bumping into his. It was funny, five years and she was still thinking about what would happen if their fingers brushed against each other’s ever-so-slightly.
Would he pull back?
Or perhaps, would he latch on?
She wasn’t sure which one she would want.
“I feel you, when I can’t sleep; I like to walk down dark, lonely roads at the dead of night.” He chuckled, while she kept silent, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. “Only to grab a drink that will only make me less tired.”
“Good. I’m glad I’m not the only one.”
“For sure.”
Unsure of what to say next, Cerise stared up into the night sky, which was awash with bright, twinkling stars. A jet, hundreds of meters off the ground, thundered overhead to the Winnipeg International Airport.
“Are you still going to the private school?”
“Yep. It’s not so bad though, kind of grows on you. Let me guess, you went to Kildonan after Bernie, right?”
“Sure did.” Curious as to what his reaction would be, she added. “It won’t be the same though, now that my boyfriend graduated this summer.”
Oddly enough, there was only a slight smile on his lips. “Well only one year until you’re graduated yourself.” There were no questions about her boyfriend, only an amused smile and quick glance aimed at her.
“Yeah, it’s pretty crazy isn’t it? One more year left.” She cocked her head. “What are you going to do when school’s out?”
“I don’t really know—maybe become a doctor, or nurse… a paramedic. Haven’t figured it all out just yet. What about you?”
Cerise shrugged, she’d been wondering the same thing for a long time. When school finally ended, what in the world was she going to do with the rest of her life? She wanted to be a psychiatrist, but another part of her wanted to do something else. Unlike most people it seemed, she held no real aspirations or dreams; just plausible occupations that made the most sense to take.
Life was too random to plan anyhow, why not just let it come about and see what happened?
“I don’t know—I’m trying to figure that all out still. I guess I’ll just do what makes me happy.” Cerise smiled at him, her pace picking up as they neared the near-empty, brightly lit café.
“So would you say you’re happy right now?”
“I would, yes.” Cerise slipped her hands into her pockets. “I couldn’t be happier.” Her eyes drifted to the side, while thoughts of Nathan burdened her like a ton of bricks strapped to her shoulders. Was she happy? No, not at all. “What about you?”
“No and yes,” he shrugged, “it’s just been a crazy end to the summer—so many things happened I wasn’t expecting.”
Julia smiled knowingly. “What’s her name?”
Steven laughed in surprise, and then told her most of what was on his mind. Camp, Julia, and trying to have a long distance relationship. Still, she knew there was more to the story that he was keeping to himself.
When they walked through the doors of Tim Horton’s, he poured out more of what was weighing down on his heart. His soul, he laid mostly bare. When he got to telling about his father’s disease, Steven could hardly remain composure.
He pulled in a deep breath, blinking back tears.
She put an arm on his shoulder, holding him tenderly, as he told her the heart wrenching truth of his father’s terminal disease.
Behind the counter, a tired, older woman awaited their order. She rubbed her eyes, took in their order of two apple fritters and two café mochas, and then told them the cost of the purchase.
Taking out his wallet, he paid with the loonies and toonies clustered inside. “Don’t worry, I got this.” He smiled at Cerise who was opening her mouth to object. When he got the change back, he put it into the ‘camp donations’ box.
While they waited for their order, Cerise hesitantly asked about his father. “Is there a chance that your dad will get any better?” She asked with a soft tone, her plain brown eyes widening with sympathy.
“There’s always a chance. I don’t know.” He looked away from her, unable to maintain eye contact. “I just don’t want to lose him.”
“I’m so sorry Steven.” She took a step closer, gingerly wrapping him in her arms, hugging him tightly.
He returned the hug, a surprised look on his face.
It’d been five years since she’d hugged him. The last time, she remembered, was on a warm, September afternoon. They were both entering their first year of junior high, making new friends and unaware that their lives were slowly splitting apart.
During the summer, five years ago, they’d spend almost every day together, walking around the neighborhood, going to one another’s house and talking for hours on end. It was the time when their childhoods were traded in for the more complicated, hormone-induced stage of life called teenage hood.
Puberty.
However, they still retained most of their innocence for the duration of the summer, playing more like children than young adults. Well, until a spark was ignited between them.
Though she couldn’t remember exactly when it happened, they both remembered a time when they were talking and their eyes met. Just like the first time she’d stared into his blue eyes, there was again a strong current of attraction.
Steven had looked away, his face reddening.
Cerise, surprised by the feelings in her chest, held his gaze with a smile planted on her face. When he looked back up at her, the feelings had dissipated for the most part. Both laughed nervously, getting off the couch and playing outside.
During the next few days, those feelings would come up every so often, surprising them both. When he pulled on her hand, it wasn’t the same anymore—she hoped that he wouldn’t let go. She just wanted to spend every minute with him, feeling a newfound sadness when he had to go home after a day of hanging out.
When he left, she’d run to her window, open the blinds and watch him walk down her driveway.
She wished she could walk beside him.
Then, one day, as summer was taking its last breath, he finally told her how he felt.
Now, holding Steven in her arms, those stubborn feelings came back for just the tiniest of moments. Stepping out of the hug, he thanked her with a smile on his face, a single tear running down his face.
“Thanks Cerise.”
“Anytime.” There was a slight dip in her a smile, a knowing look in her eyes. He looked away, his face turning red, before he grabbed his apple fritter and beverage off the counter and walked towards a table.
For nearly an hour, Cerise and Steven talked continuously. They reminisced over the numerous memories they had made together, laughing at stupid things he’d done and silly t
hing she’d said. Their conversation slowly took on a more serious note as she told him about her tumultuous relationship with Nathan.
As she explained Nathan and the troubles in their relationship, she could see in Steven’s eyes that he thought very little of him. It was the same look that Drake had given her.
Gently, and without being too forward, he suggested that she drop the relationship.
Cerise only smiled sadly. “I don’t know. At first I wanted to do that, but the more I think about him, I kind of miss him. I know he’s a monster, but it isn’t easy. A part of me wonders if we can get better.”
“And if it doesn’t get better? I thought you wanted to be happy?”
“Nathan has made me happy.” She drank the rest of her cool, sugary mocha, wondering why she was defending him.
“Does he?” Steven looked unsure of what he was going to say, but he said it anyways. “After we went our separate ways, I still heard about you. How you would quickly find yourself a boyfriend, then another, after the relationship crashed and burned. And when that relationship died out, you would find another guy. Maybe, you’re just in love with falling in love.”
Cerise couldn’t stop her stare from turning into a glare. “I see what you’re saying. Don’t worry about me, Steven. I’ll be just fine.” Forcing a smile, she ate the last of her fritter and checked her phone. “Well this was fun, but I should get going home.” Standing up hastily, she put her cell back in her jean pocket; Steven joined her and they walked out of the quiet, still café.
This time, weary from the late night and slightly intense discussion, she didn’t say a word to him. When they came up to his house, she turned to him, a sad, defeated look on her face. Though she couldn’t admit it, his words got to her more than he knew. “Good night Steven.”
“Take care, Cerise.” He hesitantly opened his arms for a hug and she accepted it.
She forgot how amazing his hugs were.
“I’ll see you around.” Stepping out of the hug, he turned and walked towards his house.
Cerise watched him grab the ledge of a window to boost himself closer to the balcony, where he pulled himself onto by the railing. When he was safely on the balcony, he gave her a short wave and entered his bedroom.
As she turned around, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.
Nathan?
She hadn’t heard from her boyfriend since he’d gone. Nervously, she checked her phone, hoping and dreading that it was her boyfriend who’d taken the time to text her. It was probably just Steven though, wishing her a good night.
However, she was wrong—it was Nathan.
Though it was a simple text, her heart was still torn apart at his words. One side melted, the other froze. “Sorry Cerise,” the text read, “been busy, having a good trip. Hope you’re doing well, love you babe
To Dream Again Page 5