“Nothing has changed since the last time we talked about my commitment to the military,” he murmured, as her soft, pliant body surrendered all the more. “My siblings just don’t want me talking about it to my mother.”
Her whole body was quivering with sensation when he turned her to face him. Aware she hadn’t ever wanted him this desperately, Nora looked up at him. “They think she won’t believe you?”
The large glass enclosure filled with steam as the water sluiced down over them. He fit her against him once more. Hardness to softness. All the need she had hoped to see was reflected in his gray eyes, and it set her body on fire.
He cupped her head between his large hands and kissed her languidly at first, then with building ardor, rubbing against her, driving her to the brink. “You didn’t.”
Her erect nipples ached as she surged against him once more. Going up on tiptoe, she wreathed her arms about his neck. A shuddering sigh escaped her lips. “I’m beginning to.”
“Good.” He lowered his mouth to hers. Kissed her deeply. Then more and more rapturously.
“Because I want you to know how much I care,” he rasped against her mouth, finding her with his fingertips, possessing her, body and soul. Until she felt it, too. In every kiss and caress. Needing and giving. As lovers, as equals, as friends. And maybe even, she thought, as he continued to make sweet love to her, as something even more...
An hour before, Zane hadn’t figured the evening would end as he wanted, with the two of them in each other’s arms. Never mind in his shower. But as they rolled on a condom and settled onto the teak bench against the wall, Nora straddling his lap, kissing him as if it were an end in and of itself, he knew things were changing.
She was opening herself up to him in a way she never had before. Drawing out the moment. Celebrating the occasion. Taking everything he offered. Possessing him, as well. Until there was nothing in the world but the two of them and this all-encompassing bliss. And he knew if she continued to let him into her life, and heart, if they continued to grow closer, by the time Christmas arrived, their every dream would finally come true.
* * *
AN HOUR LATER, they headed for the kitchen. Zane got them both some water, then pulled out a package of peppermint and white chocolate pretzel crisps. As they settled on the sofa in front of the fire, his gaze drifted over her, taking in every well-adored inch. “You look ravishing.”
Nora fluffed her tousled hair and swept a hand down her still-tingling body and bare legs. “I think you mean ravished.” Playfully, she let her eyes move over his bare chest and low-slung pajama pants. “Where did you get these anyway?”
He was wearing the Black Watch plaid bottoms of a pair of men’s pajamas. She was wearing the notch-collared, buttoned-front top. Nice as they were—and they were made of the finest, softest flannel—they didn’t seem exactly his style.
Zane opened up the bag and offered her first dibs. “My brothers gave them to me a couple of Christmases ago. Said that since I’d probably be an old man before I settled down, they wanted to go ahead and give me the appropriate nightwear.”
“Cute.”
He shook his head at the joking antics of his brothers. “Speaking of settling down, though, I do have something important I want to talk to you about.”
As their eyes met and held, Nora felt a shimmer of tension between them. “Okay.”
He sifted a hand through her hair. “Finding out about Liam was a wake-up call for me.”
Doing her best to maintain a poker face, Nora ran a fingertip across the inside of his wrist. “In what way?”
He continued to study her with his steady gaze, as if trying to figure something out. Admitting finally, “I guess I always thought we would get back together again eventually. Even after our last breakup.”
So did I, Nora thought on a wistful sigh.
He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss into the center of her palm. “Seeing you move on without me, creating a new life here, a new family, forced me to realize you weren’t going to wait for me forever.” His voice took on a husky undertone. “And I’d been a fool to think you would.”
His heartbreak engendered her own. Nora shook her head. Why go back to that, if all it was going to do was hurt them both? “Zane...”
His eyes gleamed with undecipherable emotion. “Let me finish, Nora. Anyway, I didn’t—don’t—like the idea of you moving on without me.” His voice dropped a husky notch. “And I especially don’t want Liam to grow up without a man in his life he can count on.”
Nora regarded Zane in shock.
Please tell me he’s not going to propose out of some misguided sense of duty or honor...
As he gazed over at her, Nora had the strong sense he was thinking of kissing her again. But he did not.
Which was good. Because kissing would lead to touching and touching would lead to lovemaking, which would lead to even more confounding emotions than they already had.
He traced her lifeline with the pad of his thumb. “And I really don’t like the idea of you and Liam ever wanting or needing anything.”
Palm tingling, she reiterated softly, “We don’t.” Especially now that you’re in our lives.
“So I’m stepping up here. I started working on figuring out what to do with the inheritance my dad left me. As well as my will.”
Oh, dear God. “Zane...” She knew how superstitious soldiers could be. Sometimes just preparing for death could lead them to believe the end was imminent.
“I’ve changed the beneficiary to my personal life insurance policy, and the one I get through the military, to benefit you and Liam. And when I get the stuff with the No Name all sorted out, I plan to add that to the inheritance, too.”
Nora turned to face him directly. She gazed at him in consternation. “Does your family know this?”
He shook his head somberly. “Only the lawyer I hired in town. Plus, of course, the insurance people.”
Nora lifted a trembling hand. “Zane. I appreciate the thought. But—” she gulped “—this is crazy.”
Exuding his trademark confidence, he shifted her over onto his lap and cuddled her close. “Actually—” the corners of his lips quirked up “—I think it’s the sanest thing I’ve done in a long while.”
Worry combined with her guilt. “I don’t want your money.” She’d done nothing to earn it.
“Too bad.” He buried his face in her hair, breathed in deeply. “Because I want you and Liam to have it.”
Nora closed her eyes, too, praying for strength. “But your family...” How were they likely to take this? Yes, they welcomed her now, but if they thought she was a gold digger, how would they react?
“My family does not need any money from me.” Zane stroked a comforting hand down her spine. “They all have enough, on their own.”
“That’s really not the point,” Nora murmured miserably.
“Yes,” Zane countered, “it is.” He cupped her chin, lifting her face to his. Gazing deep into her eyes, he said, “They want me to be happy, Nora. They know that you and Liam make me happy.”
He made her happy, too.
“And since you are the closest thing to family outside the Lockharts that I have, let me honor that connection by looking after you and Liam. And in turn, you can take care of me.” He kissed her tenderly.
“Through sex,” Nora guessed, pulling in a stabilizing breath.
“That’s one way.” He leveled an assessing gaze on her and kept it there. “There are other ways, too, that are just as important.”
She swallowed around the sudden ache in her throat. “Like...?”
“Just be there for me,” he replied hoarsely, in a way that made her heart skip first one beat, then another. “Know I have to go back to active duty for a couple of weeks, after Christmas.
But then I’ll be home for good.”
Unless, Nora thought, something happened somewhere in the world that required his services. But Zane wasn’t allowing himself to entertain that possibility. Not in his mind. Not in his heart. Not yet.
Recklessly deciding to let the specter of reenlistment go, at least for now, she said softly, “And when you return?”
His expression turned even more sincere. He kissed her again, then advised, “Greet me with open arms, and an even more open heart.”
ZANE AND NORA made love again, through the night. They got up at 4:00 a.m. with Liam, fed and diapered him, and then all went back to bed for another two hours’ sleep. But then it was time to get up and figure out what they were going to do for the rest of the day.
“Since you’re the one who is working, while I’m the one on R & R, you should probably get first dibs on the choice of activity during your day off,” Zane said.
Nora sat with Liam on her lap. Still clad in his oversize pajama shirt and a pair of his thick wool hiking socks, she looked sexy and at ease. “Does that mean you’re volunteering to come with?”
“I am.” Zane paused to read the back of the pancake box. After a thoughtful squint and some mental calculating, he poured in half the packet of flour mix into the bowl.
“Do you want to measure that?” Nora asked, her hair tousled, cheeks still pink with sleep. She snuggled her son against her with a maternal tenderness that made something raw and elemental twist in his gut.
“Nah. I’m good.” He broke two eggs into the bowl. Added a splash of milk and a couple spoonfuls of melted butter.
The truth was, he loved having them here. Knew the No Name would forever feel lonely without them.
But he was working on that. Hopefully, when Christmas got here, he would have everything in place.
In the meantime, he had two hungry “family members” to feed. He paused, looking at the fruit bowl on the counter and the containers of fresh berries in the fridge. “Blueberries or bananas?”
Nora smiled, as if enjoying the show. When he caught her admiring his physique, a faint blush stained her cheeks. “Blueberries.”
Glad she wasn’t as immune to him as she sometimes pretended to be, he sauntered closer. “Maple syrup or berry?”
Her sky blue eyes glowed happily. “Maple.”
He walked over to brush a brief kiss on the top of her head, another on Liam’s, then went back to the stove and turned on the griddle. “Back to what we were saying...about what you’d really like to do today?”
Nora sobered. “Well, although I’ve ordered a few things on the internet, I haven’t had time to do any in-person shopping for Liam. So shopping would be nice.”
“Consider it done.” Zane poured her a glass of juice and handed it to her. “How far away do you want to go?”
She sent him a hopeful glance. “There’s a new mega toy store in San Angelo. And they usually have a Santa Claus at the mall there.”
The coziness factor in the room increased tenfold. “Sounds fun.”
Her brows knit together. “What do you want to do?”
Aware he could really get used to this, Zane sent her a sidelong glance. “Whatever you want to do. The day is yours. And Liam’s.” He gave her a long meaningful look, then promised playfully, “My mission is seeing to your every need.”
And what an adventure it turned out to be.
By the time they arrived at noon, the line for Santa was over an hour long. Zane looked at the fussy, impatient children and their equally out-of-sorts parents. “Want to come back?”
Nora bit her lip. “I don’t think I’m going to get another chance.”
Zane could see she really wanted to do this. “If you want to wheel Liam around in the stroller, I’ll hold our place in line.”
“You really don’t mind?” she asked, coming intimately close.
He inhaled her lavender perfume. “I really don’t mind.”
And as it turned out, Zane didn’t. Mostly because it gave him a little time to field two phone calls from Sage—who wanted to know if he had contacted her friend Raquel yet. Zane hadn’t. And a couple of fellas from his unit, who demanded to know if he’d come to his senses. He had. Just not in the way his teammates wished. And last but not least, he used the time to research the hottest new toys for three-month-olds that holiday season.
Finally, it was almost their time. Zane looked around, spying Nora, waved her on over. They got Liam out of his stroller just as their turn came up. Beaming with excitement, Nora handed her son over to Santa.
Liam took one look at the big burly man with the snowy white beard and glasses, screwed up his face and let out a howl loud enough to alert the entire shopping center.
Nora rushed in to comfort him. To no avail.
“Maybe if you hold him up next to Santa,” the woman dressed as Mrs. Claus mouthed.
Again, no dice. Liam was having none of it.
Nora gestured for Zane to try, too. That didn’t work, either, so the photographer took several shots of the squalling red-faced baby in Santa’s arms. They stayed long enough to pay and collect their freshly printed photos, and then moved off into the mall.
As soon as Santa’s village was out of sight, Liam quieted.
Nora, however, remained frustrated and distraught. “Maybe it just wasn’t the day for it,” he soothed.
Nora’s spine stiffened, even as she nodded.
“But we can still get in some shopping we wanted to do,” Zane said, beginning to understand why some of the young families they saw all around them seemed so tense and out of sorts.
Luckily, by the time they got to the toy store, Liam was drowsy again. “Why don’t you let me carry him while you shop?” Zane suggested.
She sent him a grateful glance. “You’re sure?”
He admired the sunny highlights in her chestnut hair, the way the loose sexy waves just brushed her shoulders. “Actually, I’d really enjoy it.” Having Liam in the BabyBjörn, nestled against his chest, made him feel like a dad. Liam’s dad. And, Zane noted, there was no feeling better than that. Unless you considered also getting an idea of what it would be like to be Nora’s husband...
“Well, that went better,” she said, when at last they had finished at the toy store, and were loading their bagged purchases into the back of his minivan. She reached up to curve a gentle hand against Liam’s cheek. Zane caught the brief, wistful look in her eyes. “Do you think we bought too much?”
Given the fact that, for every item she had purchased, he had insisted on getting something else?
He leaned down impulsively and bussed the top of Liam’s head. Wrapping an arm around Nora’s shoulders, he pulled her affectionately against his side. “Hey, I’m ready to go back in and clear out the rest of the store!”
She laughed, resting her head against his shoulder. Peering up at him contentedly, she reflected, “It’s exciting, isn’t it?”
More than Zane ever could have predicted. “I can only imagine what it’s going to be like when he sees all his new toys.”
Nora turned to him, a mixture of surprise and wary expectation on her lovely face. “You are going to be there with us. Aren’t you?”
Chapter Eleven
“I’d sure like to be there with the two of you on Christmas morning,” Zane said huskily, helping Nora settle Liam in his safety seat. Together, they buckled him in and directed his attention to the travel toys within his reach.
As they straightened, Zane caught a whiff of her lavender perfume and the sweet essence that was unique to her.
Nora tucked her hand in his and turned to him with a smile. “Maybe you could spend Christmas Eve with us, too? I mean,” she added hastily, lest she overstep, “I imagine you have things you want to do with the Lockhart clan, too.”
Stepping back, she searched his face in relief. “What about you, soldier?” Her teasing tone held an undercurrent of uncertainty.
Was she kidding? He brought her to him, and kissed her tenderly. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
Nora snuggled against him. “Me, too,” she whispered.
From inside the passenger compartment, Liam chortled loudly. Zane and Nora broke apart, laughing. “I think our tiny chaperone is telling us to get a move on,” he remarked ruefully.
“I think you’re right,” Nora concluded, handing Zane the keys to her minivan.
He climbed behind the wheel. They were almost back to Laramie when Nora’s phone chimed. She listened with what appeared to be a frown of concern. “Yes, I can be there. Zane, too. Probably fifteen minutes. See you then.” She punched the end call button.
Zane tossed her a brief, concerned glance before returning his attention to the road. “Problem?”
Nora moaned. “The Ugly Sweater competition rules are going to be read during the dinner hour this evening. Our presence is requested.”
Zane paused. “Why is that a big deal?”
Nora ran both her hands through her hair, then let them fall to her lap. “You only ask that because you haven’t heard the rules.”
Unable to help but note the way the tousled sun-streaked strands caught the winter light, he said, “Oh, man...”
She nodded, already exasperated. “Exactly.”
“What else?” he prodded curiously.
She bent her head as she checked the messages on her phone. “Mr. Pierce’s test results are in, and Dr. Wheeler wants to meet at Laramie Gardens ASAP to discuss them. So, if you can spare the time to sit in for that...”
“I’ll be there as long as I’m needed.”
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