Morgan shakes her head. “If you want Simon to come to the wedding, I’ll pay his way, Poppy. Lilly and I are sorry. We gave you the wrong impression—that we wanted you to act a certain way—and the fact is we love you for all your foibles and spirit. You’re like Pollyanna. You see everything from the good, and maybe we were just jealous.”
“True,” Lilly says. “But at the same time, we still don’t want you discussing leaky-gut syndrome at the table.”
They both start to laugh, and in a sudden awakening of the rational, I do see their point. “I’m still going to Hawaii after the wedding.”
“Then let us help you,” Lilly says.
By this, I can only assume she means “Let us dress you. Let us swathe you with makeup.”
I hold up a finger. “I’m already going to do that—let you help me.” I open the brand-new Samsonite hard suitcase that’s fresh out of a catalog. I’m sure it’s not recyclable, and I did have trouble with that, but in an act of faith, I purchased it anyway, knowing that it was time to invest in new baggage— and not of the mental type. I lift the lid, and there’s about six of my mother’s skirts. They smell from being in the storage unit, and I see Lilly reach for her Lysol. Which I thought she’d given up with pregnancy. But there she is, in Charlie’s Angels pose, pointing a spray can at me.
“What are you doing with those?” Lilly asks after she’s sprayed the collection.
“I’m giving them to you, Lilly. If you want to burn them, you’re free to do so.”
Lilly’s expression is that of a fiendish cartoon character when she realizes what I’m saying.
“Really?” Lilly drops the Lysol and reaches for the skirts. She wrinkles her nose as she does so. “This Simon must be something special if you’re able to get rid of this garbage. I’m going to find a match to light these.” She gathers the skirts up in her arms. “I don’t want you to change your mind.”
“It’s not Simon, the reason I’m burning those.” I point to my temple. “It’s that my memories are right here. I don’t need to wear them anymore.”
Morgan comes to the bed and sits beside me. “We let you down, Poppy. You’ve supported us through everything, and we haven’t returned the favor. You’re sure this is him?”
I nod.
“So what about the doctor at the wedding? I’m sort of excited if you’re leading someone on.”
“I’m finding new work digs. Don’t worry, he’s getting what he wants out of it.”
“You know, I don’t think I’m like a normal bride. I just want my wedding day over with. I want to be married. I want to stay with my family all night. I’m sick of acting like a high school girl going home to my empty apartment. Shouldn’t I be more excited about being the princess?”
“You’ve spent your life being a princess,” Lilly says. “It’s no wonder. Besides, you’re ready to sleep with your man. How surprising is that? You’re a normal, healthy woman.”
“Lilly, do you have to take everything to the gutter?” I ask.
“Sleeping with your husband is not going to the gutter, Poppy. Or don’t they teach you about those endorphins in chiropractic school?”
“Lilly, would you leave her alone?” Morgan says.
“Fine. I’m going to burn these before my facial.” Lilly exits the room and leaves Morgan and her tender concern alone with me.
“I’m sorry about that. You know how Lilly can be. The pregnancy hormones aren’t helping her any.”
“She’s Max’s problem now,” I laugh.
“So listen, about the wedding—”
“Jeff’s all set to come. You liked him, right?”
“He’s a great guy, Poppy. Smart, bright, good-looking. You’re sure there’s nothing between you?” Morgan asks hopefully.
I shake my head. “Jeff’s a great friend, but that’s it. I’m sorry to disappoint you.” And him.
“I know you said you and your dad had a great time together last weekend, and you worked out a lot of the issues surrounding your mother and baby sister. But Poppy, we don’t know about this Simon deal. You’re just all of a sudden up and in love with someone? And you’re going to fly to another state to track him down? Poppy, you have never even talked about a man with a serious commitment in mind. We just think you might be confusing your childhood issues with this.”
Morgan is all tact. Translation for us common folk: “Poppy, we think you’ve actually lost it this time. Go for the doctor!”
I stand up and walk towards the sliding door and out onto the patio. I can smell the eucalyptus trees in the distance and feel the cool prick of ocean air. “I love California.”
“So why would you be thinking of Hawaii?”
I’ll admit, her question stops me. I never thought about that. I never thought about being away from the eucalyptus and the redwoods. Sure, there’s plenty of Pacific Ocean in Hawaii, and there’s Simon. But is that enough? “Simon said it would be a good place to offer a health spa where I could help people get better in a vacation environment. But I don’t know that this is my future. I just know I have to try, Morgan. I don’t want to live anymore in my cocoon.”
“Is that what you want to do? A spa of your own?”
I look at her in her silky, pressed slacks, while she smoothes her sleek blonde hair. “I don’t think so.”
“It sounds like you don’t have all the answers you think you do, Poppy.”
I kick my shoes off and look at my wheat-colored toenails from our pedicures. Lilly always tells me that’s not actually a color, but I like it. It’s as natural as you can get with painting toxins on your toenails. “So what’s with you, Morgan? Why do you all of a sudden trust me to come to the wedding and not tell everyone how to have better organ function?”
She laughs. “I don’t trust you to do that, Poppy. When my father was being hauled off to jail, you thought he might need some liver support.” Morgan shakes her head. “Do you think the warden cares about his liver?”
“I just thought if he thought clearer maybe he wouldn’t be so greedy, and he’d realize what he had in you and his family.”
“It was sweet of you, if not a little naïve. He threw a brass paper weight at my head, Poppy. His illness goes deeper than a supplement can handle.”
“You’re probably right.”
“So the rehearsal dinner is next week. Are you up for this? Coming with a man who is just a friend? A man who just wants your office space?”
I nod. “At least that’s all he wants now.” I slide out of my mother’s last skirt and get into my loose-fitting sweats. “I’m going for a walk.”
“Poppy, I didn’t mean to depress you.”
“You’re not depressing me. You’re just making me take a new look at reality.”
I so much prefer fantasy. It has better energy.
chapter 25
Miles walked: 3
Times I tried Simon’s old number: 3
Desperation scale: 7
Did you see the paper?” Jeff comes into my office with a copy of the San Francisco Chronicle. It’s not a paper I get down here in the South Bay, so I wonder where he got a copy.
“What are you doing with that?”
“Just look at the headline.”
It reads, “Malliard Wedding Off.”
“Jeff, what on earth?” I grab the paper and scan the article as quickly as possible.
“His ex is suing for custody of Georgie.”
“Of Georgie?” My head starts to throb.
“You haven’t heard from Morgan?”
I shake my head. “It has to be Georgie’s mom. George has offered her money several times. Thanks, Jeff.”
“I have to get back to the office. Let me know how it goes. I’ll say a prayer.”
I call Morgan, and she’s not answering, so I call Lilly instead.
“Lilly, what’s happening?”
“The wedding’s off for now.”
“What?” My heart is in my stomach.
“Don’t g
et upset, Poppy. Morgan is fine with it. I think she’s almost relieved.”
“What are you talking about? They’ve put a fortune into this wedding.”
“But not their hearts, Poppy. Haven’t you noticed that? Morgan says they can’t take the chance of having a high-profile wedding if it means publicity about Georgie being away from his mother. George would love to give Karen more time with Georgie, but not this way. He’s not going to drag Morgan through another public battle in the media.”
“Oh my gosh, Morgan has to be devastated. Where is she?”
“She’s at work at the protocol office, and she’s not answering her phone for fear the press will catch her. She’s going to call you as soon as she finishes answering questions from the caterer. George is going on the offense and trying to get Karen to talk to him about this with a mediator.”
“The wedding is next Saturday, Lilly!”
My heart grieves for Morgan. All she ever wanted was a family. This is her family, and that other woman never wanted Georgie. She abandoned him when he was born with Downs. How could she come back now? Right now, a week before Morgan’s big day.
“They’ll get married, Poppy.” Lilly says with all the calmness of a yoga teacher. “Don’t fret over this. They’re just not going to make it so public, and George is going to make sure all his ducks are in a row, so that Georgie doesn’t get pulled into the middle of this. Morgan is really calm.”
I feel myself break down at the thought of Morgan not marrying the man of her dreams. Granted, I know the wedding is just an event, and it means little in light of Morgan’s history. But Georgie and George? They mean everything to her, and they’ve just drifted farther from her than I could have imagined. Her own father couldn’t have inflicted this kind of pain.
“You can’t fix this, Poppy. Morgan is fine. She’ll be fine. This storm she endures with George and God. She’s fine, I swear to you.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“I don’t think there’s anything any of us can do. We just have to wait it out. The wheels of justice turn slowly. Listen, I have to run and let the hotel know we may not have a wedding. Don’t worry, Poppy. You can’t fix this, so don’t try.”
I hang up the phone and start to go through all the scenarios of how I might fix this, and of course, I come up with nothing. But here’s the thing: for once in my life, I realize there really is nothing I can do. I can’t obsess. I can’t run and change anybody’s mind, and I can’t get Morgan out of trouble. I can only pray.
I look at the newspaper again and open it up, and in the local news section is a mug shot of Jacob Frawley. The runner they set me up with has been detained for lewd behavior on Ocean Beach. I knew it! But now is hardly the time to do my “I was so right” dance. I know Jeff told me life wasn’t about being right, but sometimes it feels good to be vindicated. I just wish I could spend my morning gloating to Lilly, but I quickly decide that’s probably not in anyone’s best interest.
My office door jangles again, and Jeff’s assistant, Alicia, opens the door. “Hi Poppy.”
“Hi, Alicia. Did Jeff let you out of your cage?” I smile at her. “He sure likes to work.”
“Like you’re any better,” Emma pipes up.
I hand Emma a file folder. “Here, do something with yourself. Act busy. Alicia, what can I do for you?”
“Well, we got a bunch of mineral makeup samples, and I’m bringing you some. Not because I think you need them. I was just trying to make peace.”
“That is so sweet! I had a makeover. Did Jeff tell you?”
“He did. Listen, can I talk to you a minute?” Alicia gets that serious look that I hate on someone I barely know.
“Sure,” I say. “Let’s go to my office.”
She follows me back, and I shut the door wondering if my mineral makeup isn’t the Trojan horse of a new era. Alicia hands me an envelope.
“What’s this?”
“It’s the injunction against the landlord. No one’s moving anywhere.”
I look over the legal document in my hand and feel a smile come to my face. “Jeff did it.”
“Well, his lawyers. But yes.”
I finger the paperwork with a hint of sadness, looking around the office. I can’t believe I agreed to move out of here. Sometimes I really don’t think things through.
“This is great, Alicia, thanks.”
“Jeff wanted me to tell you the Greek café is leaving. We’re taking over their shop for space.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“There’s no reason for you to move, Dr. Clayton. Jeff has more space across the way for our expansion until we build.”
“I don’t understand. Jeff was just here. Why didn’t he tell me?”
“He thought you might think it was a favor he was doing you. I’m here to assure you it’s not and that we can all be one natural-healing, liposucking, neighborly office again.” She pushes the makeup boxes towards me and smiles. “Jeff thinks the world of you, Poppy. Can’t you throw him a bone and let him know you respect him, as well?”
I nod. “It’s the least I can do, Alicia. Thank you.”
We come out of the office together, and Jeff is in the foyer with Emma as she munches on a flax-seed health bar. He looks at us oddly, as though we’re meeting for a clandestine plan to oust him from the building.
“What are you two up to?”
“Alicia was just filling me in on your real estate dealings. Maybe the Supreme Court needs a new nominee with your expertise, Dr. Curran.”
He smiles at me. “I came to check on Morgan.”
“As of this minute, the wedding is postponed, but there’s no telling what Morgan can pull together in a split second so don’t go ditching me on Friday night for the rehearsal dinner.” It’s at this point I realize he owes me nothing now. My office is mine. But being a gentleman, Jeff says none of that.
“Keep me posted. Alicia, are you coming back?”
“It smells good over here. How come we don’t have a waterfall?”
“We have a fireplace,” he says to her.
“It’s eighty degrees out,” Alicia complains.
“Jeff, before you go, can I tell you something?”
He shrugs. “Yeah. Alicia, I’ll be right there.” Jeff follows me into my office and I just feel an overwhelming gratitude towards him. He smiles at me and takes a seat, pulling the chair closer so our conversation can be more intimate, I guess. “So, I have a message for you.”
“A message?”
“From Chloe.”
“Oh right. How did your coffee date go?”
“It wasn’t a date,” he clarifies. “The message is to tell you she doesn’t want to run anymore. She’s seeing a colleague of mine to do the work for her.”
This makes me laugh out loud. “So you’re not going to be a Lifetime channel statistic, is that what you’re telling me?”
“Listen, I know we’re friends, and I appreciate that we’re friends, and I just wanted to apologize for maybe coming on too strong. I think that your playing hard to get all these years confused me. So . . .” He thrusts a hand towards me. “Friends?”
I reach out and take his hand. “You’ve really taught me that life isn’t about being right all the time, Jeff. And something else: I was wrong about you. From the very start. You’re a good man, and you do a good work. Accept my apology?”
He grabs his heart. “Oh man, I don’t know if I’m strong enough for this. Do you have a blood pressure cuff?”
“Very funny. Jeff Curran, here’s to our workaholic ways. May we leave them in the past and find a future for us both.”
“Amen.”
I hear the bell ring to announce more clients, and I watch Jeff leave my office. He’s charming, and when he really finds the time to date for real, I have a feeling it’s going to be harder on me than I think. Not because there’s anything between us. But because I have defined lonely, and Jeff and I have been extremely lonely in our constant chaos. He
re’s to finding romance for both of us that doesn’t fit into a schedule, but works because it’s ordained.
My phone trills, and I see with relief that it’s Morgan.
“Oh my gosh, Morgan, are you okay?”
“Poppy, I’m fine. George and I are still getting married. We could go ahead with the big wedding if we wanted, but you know what I’ve been through. I don’t want my wedding to be a zoo over more printed gossip. We’re going to hold off a month and do it quietly.”
“You’re so calm. How can you be so calm?”
“I’m calm because I already have what I want. Karen just wants her son sometimes, and I’m thankful for that. But I refuse to let the world invade my day again. This marriage is not about a wedding. This is for us, and I’m not allowing the San Francisco society to steal it.”
“I’m so proud of you, Morgan.”
“You saw that couples’ shower. I don’t know any of those people anymore, and were they there for me when my dad went to jail? They weren’t.”
“So when’s the wedding, then?”
“George is going to finish negotiations with Karen, and we’ll get back to it. In the meantime, he surprised me this morning. Well, after he showed me the newspaper,” she giggles.
“I can’t believe you’re laughing.”
“I have everything, Poppy. Everything! I have George’s heart, I have a son who loves me, and this is just one of the complications that comes up in life and makes you stronger. Am I going to deny Karen the right to her son? How could I blame anyone for loving him as much as I do?”
I want to point out the woman abandoned her child, but if Morgan’s okay with the situation, who am I? “So what’s the surprise?”
“It’s for all of us.”
“All of us?”
“Lilly, you, and me.”
“What is it?”
“Lilly still has a month where she can travel by plane, and your race is coming up, right?”
“Well, but I don’t know that I’m going to be able to run.”
“But you’ve got a ticket to Hawaii.”
“Right.”
“We’re going with you. George’s father has a friend who has a hotel on Oahu with a great spa. We’re going to Hawaii, Poppy!”
Calm, Cool, and Adjusted Page 26