But this dominant species is absolutely steeped in darkness. They hunt and fight and hurt, at first just to survive, but then later, for their own pleasures. And, to God’s increasing horror, some start to delight in torture. They begin to take pleasure in hurting their own kind. They lust for power over the weak. It is sickening to watch.
The angels are horrified and beg God to intervene. But God still has hope that this will be short-lived. God has a plan.
Millennia later, this dominant species starts to sense the presence of God. They start to understand that everything in the universe is connected, that they are a part of something bigger, something perfect and pure. They see the divinity in nature, and they feel the presence of the Higher Power. The angels all held their breath, hopeful for the future, praying that God will get what She wants—the evolution of a species that can eradicate the darkness within themselves, and, over billions of millennia, grow to become God themselves.
The angels watch, and wait while the new species continues to develop. And something very interesting, and terrifying, begins to happen.
Usually, once a creature’s lifespan is over, their energy returns to the Source. Even the tiniest insects, once their lives are snuffed out, their soul is reabsorbed by the universe.
But these creatures are different. Once they begin to know God, they do not return to Her when they die. Once the body is cold and lifeless, their energy rises up, and is confused. They do not know where to go. They do not understand what has happened.
And they feel intense pain.
This pain is an echo, and it comes at death, as the energy that they put out into the world comes bouncing back. If the creature is good, and selfless, and brought joy to the world, then the pain is minimal. But it is there nevertheless, and it is confusing. If they had been cruel and lusted for power, then the pain is endless. These souls, unanchored and in blinding agony, drift through the world, mostly unseen and unheard, but causing violent destruction wherever they go.
The angels watch their suffering, unable to help. God’s plan is still in effect.
The species on the Earth keep evolving. Some of them begin to have visions of God, who they perceive to be in their own image. The angels are offended on God’s behalf, but let it go, because God does not mind.
There are bright patches. There is some kindness, some humility among them. There is the odd creature that selflessly serves the rest, who provides succour to the suffering. They keep no luxuries for themselves and give everything they have to those who have nothing. And when they die, they still linger in the world as restless souls, but although they are sad, they seem more at peace.
But those creatures are very rare.
The rest of them only lust for comfort at best, and for power and control at worst. They invoke God’s name to gather unto themselves those base creature comforts. They use the threat of God’s wrath to scare the masses into slavery. The world is full of misery and suffering, and it causes cycles of pain in generations. And so it goes for several thousand years.
This horrifies the angels. They are overcome with pity for these creatures, who experience enormous pain every day in life, and unending pain upon death.
There is one angel who is particularly moved by the suffering of the lost souls, who appear to be in endless torment with no chance for respite for all eternity. So this angel decides to confront God.
The angel appears before God and begs Her: Almighty, please end this experiment. Please, with your Infinite Wisdom, you must see that this is too much suffering. These creatures might not overcome it.
And God replies: The Path must continue.
The angel cried and begged: They may not learn. And now that they do not return to You when they die, they might suffer forever. Please, end this experiment now. My heart cannot bear it.
And God replies: Your heart must bear it, as must mine. The Path must continue.
The angel feels the first stirrings of darkness within him, and he begins to feel anger. “Why, Almighty? Why must they suffer so?”
God feels the angel’s anger. And She turns away.
We haven't heard from Her since.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“Wow. I think I’ve changed my mind,” I murmured, my lips heavy. “God must be a He. Because He’s a dick.”
Alex smiled. “I can understand the motivations. We all just have different opinions on how things should go.” He stretched out on the couch, putting his hands behind his head. I had to work to keep my expression neutral while I watched the muscles under his t-shirt bunch and pop. “Well, now you’re up to speed.”
“That angel was Lucifer, obviously. The first to fall.”
“Yes, it was. Lucifer didn’t exactly fall. As soon as he realized his anger at God, he found he, like humans, had free will, and he could do what he wanted. And what he wanted, more than anything, was to help the tortured souls that wandered the earth.” Alex sighed and leaned back. “You have no idea what it’s like, Eve, to see all those souls. They’re in agony. They’re feeling the worst of their deeds, in triplicate, for all eternity. With barely any chance of redemption. So Lucifer created a lower dimension for them to reside in, and set up boundaries so they weren’t wandering the earth and causing havoc. You know what a poltergeist is, right?”
I nodded.
“Escaped souls. But they’re not just rattling chains and scaring the children. The Tormented can be responsible for some pretty bad natural disasters if they escape; storms, bridge collapses, that sort of thing. And that’s just one or two Tormented; you could imagine what would happen on Earth if several billion souls escaped at once.”
“I get why Lucifer created hell, then.”
Alex nodded. “Once he did, more of his sympathetic angel friends came down to help him. And he had his friends guard the souls and try to help them work through their torment.”
“How do they work through that torment?”
“The pain is their own creation,” Alex said simply. “It comes from themselves. And they can process it and work through it, understand what they did and why it caused so much hurt. And finally forgive themselves. But it is very, very hard to do. Because for the most part, they don’t understand why they feel so much agony. It’s too much to process.” He shook his head. “And that’s only if you’d been a relatively good person in your life. And if you had been a terrible person… well, your hell is kind of a forever thing.”
I frowned. It was a classic tale—the story of hell, where the tortured souls resided. But in the usual stories, it was the devil who was torturing the souls for their sins. According to Alex, it was the souls that were torturing themselves.
I processed it. “So hell is a real place, then? It’s just… different to what we think.”
“It’s real. And it probably fits the picture in your imagination, too. Technically, hell is just a black void, with energy barriers in place to keep the souls in. It’s just a place for them to reside and try to gain understanding. But the souls project visions in to punish themselves, to try and rid themselves of the guilt. The scenes they create are awful. Windy, barren dust bowls, urban decay, apocalyptic wastelands. There’s racks and whips and all sorts of terrible things.”
“So that’s it, then? Everyone dies and goes to hell to suffer in torment, until by some miracle they can work through their issues?”
Alex smiled for the first time. “No, there is some hope. A few thousand years ago, there lived a man who was completely selfless. And he had a following. He preached loving thy neighbor, doing unto others. He kept nothing for himself and gave everything to the poor. The only anger he had was for the hypocrites that proclaimed they were doing God’s work and did the exact opposite.”
I smirked. “I can see where you’re going with this.”
“Yes.” Alex said. “That story is true. Jesus did, in fact, open up the gates of heaven for men. And because of him, we learned the trick of understanding the soul’s darkness. And that’s wh
ere my work comes in.”
“I was hoping you’d get to that. Okay, I’m listening.”
“Okay.” Alex shuffled up until he was sitting cross-legged on the couch, facing me. I automatically mirrored him. Our knees were almost touching, and it took a bit of effort for me to pay attention. “Imagine that you lived a good life, you were a good person, and you didn’t intentionally do anything to hurt anyone.” He shrugged. “But you hurt someone, nevertheless. You may have been rude to your mother; you may have upset your employee, without realizing how much you hurt them. You die, and you’re confused because you feel overwhelming shame and guilt, and you don’t know why. So you’re stuck in an endless cycle of confusion and misery. The Devil collects you and brings you to hell, where you wail and shriek and tear at your skin, but you can’t, because you have no skin.” He furrowed his brow, and a little crinkle appeared. “And no mouth to wail from, come to think of it.”
I opened my mouth, but Alex held up his finger. “But imagine, if right before you died, you did something you knew was bad. The memory of that sin is fresh in your consciousness. You know why you feel terrible. So you confront it, and you process it, you pour out your regret into the universe, and you forgive yourself. Then you process the next thing that is causing your guilt. Eventually, you forgive yourself, and the negative energy within yourself is neutralized.”
“Hmmmm.” I thought about it for a minute. “So, the last temptation of Christ actually happened?”
He smiled. “I wasn’t there. But according to the stories, no. He just felt great anger at God. It’s in the scriptures.”
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
“Bingo. So when he died straight after that, he remembered that he doubted. He remembered that his faith had wavered, and he felt bad for it. He processed it and moved on to the next thing. It took him three days.”
“Wow,” I whispered, dumbstruck. “This is all so…” I searched for the word and finally found it. “Logical.”
Alex nodded. “So after that, we knew what had to be done. A good person needs to do an obvious sin, right before they die.”
“That’s where you come in? That’s why you tempted the judge?”
“Yes. He was a very good person. With humans, I can sense their... karma, I guess you’d call it, and I can sense when their time is up. So I came here for him.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Oh, he’s in hell. He’s suffering. But he’s working through it, so there’s hope for him. It may take a few years. He wasn’t as generous as he could have been in life. He loved his luxury cars.”
“God, this is depressing!”
“But once he’s out, he’ll have a great influence on the living as a spirit guide. I can sense that too.”
I leaned back into the cushions. The topic had reinvigorated me briefly, but now, after hearing the whole story, I was exhausted again. “So what happens when the souls manage to rehabilitate themselves and get out of hell? What do they do then?”
“Once the souls manage to neutralize their negative energy, they’re free to move past the gates of hell. The barriers don’t hold them in anymore. Most souls choose to be reincarnated on earth, so they can have another crack at doing it right. A tiny fraction of the population will rest in heaven. And a few come back to help their ancestors, help them make the right decisions, point them in the right places.”
I nodded. “Guardian angels.”
“They’re not angels.” Alex sounded bitter. I made a mental note to ask him about the angels, and how they fit into all of this. “They’re departed souls, but they’re at peace. They are your intuition.”
“And they’ve eradicated the darkness?”
He raised his eyebrows. “You want to know if God’s plan is working? Well, it’s not. For God’s plan to work, for humanity to evolve to the point where they eradicate the darkness and become Gods themselves, it would take all of humanity to reach enlightenment while they’re alive.” His voice grew sad. “And there’s not enough time for that to happen. Humans have almost destroyed their home. The earth is overpopulated. Hell is almost full. The demons are all at their wits’ ends, having looked after the tormented for eons.” He shook his head sadly. “So this is how it will end. The balance will tip with one single birth, and the Tormented will erupt out of hell and wreak havoc on the earth. Heaven and hell will go to war. The demons will want it all to end, for the earth to be destroyed so there is no more suffering. They want to force God’s hand and get Her to reabsorb all the tortured souls. And the angels want it all to continue—just on the off-chance that somehow, humanity will become pure and good overnight.” He grimaced. “And that’s not going to happen.”
“What’s your take on all this? I’m genuinely curious. What do you think will happen?”
He sighed heavily. “Eve, my whole existence, I’ve been tempting good souls, getting them to sin just before death. I’ve been trying to clear out hell. Enough that we can keep going.” He looked down at his hands, a frustrated look on his face. “The thing is, I love humanity. I love the human part of me. And I personally think that we’re not supposed to eradicate the darkness, we’re supposed to make peace with it. We’re supposed to understand it, and embrace it. You see...” He shook his head, trying to get his words right. “If it wasn’t for the fact that most humans go to hell for eternity, I’d think that they were fine just the way they are. I don’t think the grand plan is necessary. Humanity is flawed, messy, and beautiful. Humans feel so much joy and misery and love.” His expression turned wistful. “There’s so much pleasure to be had from stuffing your face with chocolate cake, and from getting light-headed from fasting. Getting drunk and falling in the street. The perfect clarity of meditation. Singing! And dancing. They dance and they kiss and have sex and laugh, and it’s beautiful.”
His passion was almost palpable. My face felt flushed. “But what about the horror that the angels witnessed? All the cruelty and oppression?”
“Well, it is getting better,” Alex said. “Humanity is getting better. The world is far more at peace than any other time in history. There’s less war, less hunger. But it’s… it’s too late.”
I closed my eyes again. “So, there’s no hope?”
“There is hope,” Alex’s voice drifted over to me. “We just have to keep souls out of hell the best we can. And that’s what I’ve been doing.”
I was so sleepy now that his voice felt like it was coming to me from a dream. But I wanted to keep this conversation going. I wanted to understand everything.
“It’s backwards day,” I sighed. “Demons are good, and angels are just lazy bystanders.”
“Oh no,” Alex said firmly. “No, no, no. It’s far more complicated than that. It’s like politics. Even in government, there’s far more nuance than just left-wing and right-wing.”
“Black-wing and white-wing.” I couldn't resist.
I was rewarded with Alex’s chuckle. I liked hearing him laugh. “Sort of, yeah. Most demons want the world to end, to some degree. Most angels want the Great Plan to continue. And they go to extremes from there. Some demons have, you would say, embraced our PR, and they embrace the darkness. They want the world to implode, just to prove God wrong, so they want as many souls in hell as possible. They’re out there, tempting and encouraging sin.”
I snuggled down farther into the pillow and sighed. “And I guess some angels take the no-sin thing a little too far?”
“You got it in one. There’s a whole host of them—The Percuitait, they’re called. They’re self-righteous, dogmatic, sanctimonious. They pick the pettiest sins and will literally divert a bus into the path of a person who committed them. They think that the sinners should suffer in hell for all eternity. They think they deserve it. The Percuitait have caused me a lot of pain over the years,” he muttered resentfully.
I raised an eyebrow, hoping he’d elaborate on that, but he cleared his expression and carried on. “And a lot of angels are
doing their best to keep souls out of hell too, so that the plan will continue. Their methods are more futile, though, and not as effective as mine. They just try and get people to be as good as possible, and try and get them to see their sins and process the pain and guilt before they die. Nate was one of those, and still is, to some degree. But he can see how effective our methods are. Our friendship has ...caused a few conflicts, that’s for sure.” I could hear the frown in his voice.
“So his dad is the angel, then?” I slurred slightly and swallowed.
“He’ll tell you his story soon,” Alex whispered, and his voice sounded closer than I thought it would be. It didn’t frighten me. “Now sleep,” he whispered right in my ear. “Rest, and I’ll tell you more tonight.”
“I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” I mumbled, but I was already gone.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I was dreaming. It was familiar, and terrifying. A man was trying to stab me. He came at me, unstoppable, the manic light of conviction in his eye. He was Death.
But then he was gone, and I was sleeping under the stars on a gently rocking boat in the middle of the ocean.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Eve. Eve.” The voice was low and gentle, but insistent.
I didn’t want to wake up. I was comfortable, and my sleep had been deep and perfectly dreamless. “If you want to make it to the staff meeting today, you have to open your eyes.”
“I’ve changed my mind,” I mumbled. “Anyway, I don’t think they’re going to open,” I squished my eyelids tighter together and pulled the comforter around me, trying to cocoon myself in.
“And I need to talk to you before you go,” Alex said softly. He was close. My eyelids unglued, and I saw him kneeling by the sofa, right in front of me. His hand was resting on the pillow behind me, inches from my head. It was the strangest thing; not feeling the usual fear of having a man so close to me. Especially while I was asleep and so vulnerable.
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