by Kareem
“I’m ordering the Cajun chicken wings, coleslaw, mashed potatoes with gravy, and a large Coke.”
“I’m cool with that.” He nodded.
As I was ordering us food, Korey’s phone lit up. He put it to his ear and began talking. It was Hammer. They kicked it briefly. I forgot my sister had cooked dinner. I didn’t know if that was what Hammer was calling for. I could see Korey was really hungry because he tore into his wings the moment he got off the phone. He looked so cute eating and wiping off the chicken grease residue that covered his sexy pink lips. I wanted to kiss his lips, and a little something else, too. Instead, I wrapped my lips around my chicken wings and kept my lustful thoughts to myself.
* * *
A week passed, and every time I saw Korey around the house, his ear would be glued to his phone. He and his daughter talked morning, noon, and night. He would come into my bedroom, while I was working at my computer, just to tell me how he and his baby girl couldn’t get enough of each other. She wanted to know everything about her dad. What made him happy? What made him sad? Where was he working? When was he going to come and take her shopping and to his house to spend the night? He was so excited about catching up for lost time with his daughter.
I asked him if he had been talking much with Shamika, because he didn’t mention her at all, not since that night I took him to visit his daughter. He told me not really. He would call, ask how she was doing, she’d say, ”Fine,” and then she would hand the phone to their daughter. He told me that he was taking my advice and being patient about them discussing what she did to hurt him. He didn’t ask me to take him back over to her apartment. I figured she didn’t care for seeing me over there with him in the first place. Women’s intuition. I think she still loved Korey.
One thing Korey was doing for sure, however, was spending a helluva lot of time with Hammer. When I wasn’t at work at my office uptown, I would come in, and he and my brother-in-law would be at the bar in his and Kolanda’s bedroom, discussing business and counting money. Lots of money. I knew what their business was. It was in narcotics. My brother-in-law couldn’t wait to have Korey assist him in his business. I stayed away from my brother-in-law’s narcotics endeavors. My dad always told my sister and me that our business was in the courtroom as it related to our profession as attorneys-at-law. I had a few investments in real estate, but that’s where I drew the line.
My dad would say that if he were to ever find out that my sister and I were participating in anything illegal, it would be the end of our careers. He’d kill us! He had to be turning in his grave right now because my sister helped Hammer all the time, carrying narcotics here and there. I didn’t say anything because she was grown and Hammer was her husband. If something were to go wrong, Hammer would have never let her taken the fall. He loved my sister tremendously. He’d have died for her. He told me that he’d die for me as well. But I didn’t want a man dying for me. I wanted a man to live for me. What good are you if you’re dead?
Hammer used my sister’s connections with a friend who worked at the DMV to help Korey renew his license with no problems. After Korey got his license renewed, my brother-in-law brought him a brand new dark blue Corvette like his white one, with dark-tinted windows and factory chrome rims.
The day Korey got his new car, he called me at my office and told me that he was on his way to pick me up for lunch. I told him, “Okay.”
I ate a turkey salad with heavy tomatoes and cucumbers. He ate a chicken breast sandwich with some French fries. I had an extra hour, so he drove out to Hornet’s Nest Park, where we talked about him wanting to put some money in a savings account for his daughter, and him enrolling in barber school. He said he loved cutting hair and he wanted his own barber shop. I told him that I wanted a husband and one child, maybe two. Then, while looking me in my eyes, he reached and gently caressed my cheek.
“Baby girl, you’ve got a bright future ahead of you,” he said as if he were psychic. “You’re the type of beautiful woman who would make a good wife and a good mother.”
“You really think so?” I asked softly, looking into his hazel-green eyes. They were pretty. They revealed a gentle soul behind him being what my brother-in-law told me he was: a gangster.
“I know so.”
“Thank you.” I twisted my body and smiled with his hand still gently caressing my cheek.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked, surprising me.
“Yes, please,” I quickly responded without hesitation.
He leaned in and touched my lips with his. His lips were soft. His eyes were closed. “Mmmm,” I moaned between us tongue dancing. Then his phone vibrated, bringing our intimate moment to a halt.
It was his daughter calling. He told me that she was at her grandmother’s and wanted to know if there was a problem with him and her mother because she said her mother had been in her room crying a lot and looking stressed.
Korey took me back to my office and told me he’d call me later. I told him that was okay, and that I hoped all was well with Shamika. I got back to work happy, for his kiss had me on cloud nine!
Chapter 13
We Need to Talk
Korey
I listened to Brian McKnight’s “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind” over and over and over until I pulled up at Shamika’s crib. That song made me wonder if Shamika thought about me like I thought about her while I was away. I thought about her and my daughter more than I thought about regaining my freedom.
My daughter had called me and asked if I could check up on her mother. She was concerned that something was wrong, stating that she had somewhat of a sad demeanor lately. Since I’d been home, Shamika and I hadn’t talked much. She was always working or about to go to sleep when I called to talk with Olivia. I still wanted answers to why she left me. But since Hammer and I had been getting that paper and I’d been busy putting mine to the side and thinking about what I wanted to do with it, I hadn’t been pressing the issue with Shamika to give me an explanation. Not to mention I’d been finding myself falling for KeKe. She’d been there for me, offering me good advice and a shoulder to lean on.
I killed my car’s engine, removed the key from the ignition, and pulled my phone from my pocket. I dialed Shamika’s number while looking at her front door through the windshield of my new Vette that my brother bought me as a welcome home gift. Her phone rang six times. I knew she was home because her car was in the driveway. She had a nice little red Honda Civic.
“Hello?” she finally answered groggily, like she’d been asleep.
“Shamika?”
“What?”
“This Korey.”
“I know.”
“I’m outside your apartment and would like to come inside.”
“For what, Korey?”
“What’chu mean, for what? We need to talk.”
“We needed to talk before, but you walked away acting like a little boy! Guess you had to get back to your lawyer girl!”
“Look, I’m getting out the car. Meet me at’cha door.” Seconds later, I was at her door.
“What’chu want?” She stood with the door open. Her hair was all in disarray like she was stressed about something.
“You know exactly what I want.” I stepped inside and walked past her.
“No, I don’t.” She shut the door, then turned to face me.
“I want answers. That’s what I want, Shamika.” I got straight to it. I couldn’t help it. I’d waited for this moment long enough. It was time.
“You think you’re the only one who wants answers, Korey? Well, you’re not. I want answers too!”
“Why you leave me? Was I not a good man to you, Shamika, before I went off to the joint?”
“I don’t know. You tell me. You’re the one who left me to raise our daughter alone!”
“I shouldn’t have to tell you jack! You didn’t want for anything when I was home. I provided for you and our daughter. Yeah, I was in the streets, but that was the hand I was dealt, and I played i
t! You knew all of that before I went to prison, and guess what? You didn’t leave me then, so why would you leave me when I need you most, Shamika? Huh?” I lifted my voice a little to let her know beyond a doubt that I was dead serious and deeply hurt by her leaving me. It was cold in the joint without the warmth of her loving presence.
She made her lips tight and shook her head slowly with anger surfacing that I could clearly see in her face and eyes. Tears were in her eyes.
“And I don’t care nothing about you about to cry, ’cause I did a lot of that in the joint from missing you and our daughter.”
Smack! She slapped the hell out of my face while I was talking. She was upset. “You act like I didn’t ride with you at all!” she snapped with venom. She was upset, but hell, that made two of us. “I stuck by you for seven years straight! Came to see you and everything,” she continued.
“Don’t matter! You didn’t endure to the end! And don’t smack me like that again.”
“Or what?” she challenged, pointing her finger in my face and touching my forehead with it. She always got aggressive when she was mad. She knew I could never hit her, though. She’s a woman. No man should ever hit a woman.
“You need to control your emotions. Now get’cha finger out my face.” I lightly swiped it down.
“And you need to get your facts straight!” she shot back, continuing to point her finger. “You come over here the other night with your li’l lawyer chick, giving me the cold shoulder like I just utterly abandoned you while you were on lockdown. I held you down. It was temporary, but I was there. Was your lawyer chick there?” She continued pointing her finger in my face, touching my nose with it.
“Never mind that. The point is you didn’t stay!”
“I had my reasons. I told you that when you were over here the other night.”
“Which was what? You found another fucking man?”
“You always hollering, ‘You found another man.’ You used to ask that in your letters to me. But do you actually think I would do you like that? I don’t open my door to every guy who comes knocking. So it had nothing to do with me having another man. That was how you perceived it!”
“How else was I to perceive it? You stop writing me out of the blue, you stop sending me pictures of our daughter, you stop visiting me.”
“But you’ve always had our address and phone number. That never changed. So what does that tell you, Korey? Matter of fact, let me show you something. Follow me.”
She quickly walked into her bedroom with me behind. “Do you see that, right there?” She pointed above the head of her queen-sized bed. There, on the wall, was an enlarged twenty-four-inch picture of me. It was a picture that I had taken solo while in prison with my shirt off, muscles everywhere. “Do you see who that is and what’s written underneath it?”
I had to step closer to see what was written underneath it. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, FOREVER! it read.
“Now, do you actually think that I would bring a man into this house with my daughter’s father, and the love of my life, on my wall? I would never do that, Korey! And do you think that I would bring a man around our daughter, knowing how crazy you is? If something were to happen to your daughter under my watch while you were doing your time, I would never hear the end of it once you returned to society. I’m not stupid, Korey! And, I’m not a whore. I belong to one man. But while he was in the joint, I took that time to grow up. It took a lot of prayer and faith in God. But I grew up. So, I didn’t leave you for no man, as you supposed.”
“Then why did you leave, Shamika?” I needed to know for my own inner resolution. “I needed you,” I told her.
“So that you could become a man! That’s why I stepped away.”
“So that I could become a man?” I repeated her. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
She looked me in my eyes and took a deep breath. “Korey, you and I been together since we were in our late teens. You are the only guy I have ever loved. So you know I’m not going to stand here in your face, look you in the eyes, and lie to you. You grew up without your father, and you always told me that was one of the reasons it was easy for you to get out in them crazy streets, right?”
“That’s true,” I said with a nod.
“God bless the dead, but you hurt your dear mother by being in and a part of that street life. The streets made you a menace, Korey. And a drug dealer. The streets took you from your mother. You never gave yourself a chance to grow up so that you could really enjoy life and family! The streets wouldn’t let you.”
I continued nodding my head in agreement with what was coming out of her mouth. She was dead on point. She was speaking truth. And my heart was bearing witness. For no man can fight with the undisputed hands of truth and prevail. Only a fool would think he can.
“You were doing manly things while hustling in the streets. You took good care of Olivia and me, but inside you were crying out for that real father figure you never had to help you navigate in the right direction.”
Tears fell from my face without me being able to control them at the truth Shamika was delivering like a mailman. She placed her arms around me and held me tight. I swear no girl in this world knew me like she did.
“It’s okay, though, Korey. It’s okay,” she consoled me. Then she stepped back a little and placed her hands on my shoulders while looking me squarely in the eyes. Tears were coming from her eyes as well. “The reason I stepped away from you while you were in the joint was because there was no way you would have been able to completely focus on healing and getting your mind right with me in the way. I know you, Korey. Sometimes those we love and put above everything have to step out of our life so that God can step in. Every day, I prayed for you. See, Korey, I’m in the church now. I gave God my life. I don’t go clubbing. I don’t hang out with women who do all those worldly things. Bad company corrupts good character. All I do is work, spend that quality time with Olivia, and go to church and read my Bible.”
“I miss you.” I pulled her close and held her like she just held me.
“I missed you too. And I love you.”
“I love you too, Shamika. I was just mad and needed answers.”
“Well, now you have them.” She walked over to her mirror and brushed her hair into a ponytail, pinning it upward. “Now,” she said, facing me and pointing her finger, “is this lawyer girl your new sweetheart?”
“She’s a friend. Hammer introduced us.”
“Hammer? Your ace from back in the day? He home too?”
“Yeah. I been staying at his and his wife’s house.”
“He’s married?”
“Yep. Keisha and I are only friends, though. For real, I have never been able to shake my love for you. It’s deep in here,” I said, my thumb pointing to my heart. “I really love you, Shamika.” I stepped to her and placed my arms gently around her waist. I kissed her on her forehead.
“So where are you working?” She avoided intimacy.
“Nowhere right now. I’m going to enroll in barber college soon, though.”
“Is that Hammer’s Corvette you’re driving out there?” She removed my hands from around her waist and began walking toward her living room. Something just hit her mind. Like she could sense I was doing something I didn’t have any business doing.
“No, it’s mine.” I followed closely behind her. “What’s up?”
“So you back in the game already, huh, Korey?” She opened her front door.
“That’s neither here nor there.”
She slapped me, then pointed her index finger in my face again. “Are you kidding me?” She stared in my eyes with one hand on her hip. “You just got out of prison. Are you trying to go back and be out of your daughter’s life again? Get out of my house!” She pointed to the door. “Because apparently, you didn’t learn anything good while you were away! Bye!”
“Shamika, calm down, will you? You get pissed too fast, baby girl, dayum. Calm down. It’s not what you think, a’ight?�
�� I said, lying. I was barely able to look her in the eyes at this point.
Hammer and I were full throttle in the pharmaceutical business. I knew that I was in danger of once again throwing rocks at the penitentiary. But Hammer and I were both playing it low key. We were extra selective and careful with who we chose to deal with. Our only friends and hang-out partners were each other, his wife, and Keisha. He and I were hustling hard, but we were not in the streets. All the major problems occur when cats are all out there in the streets, where someone is always looking at you and what you have with that jealous-envious eye, wanting to either rob you or simply test your street muscle.
“It’s not what you think it is, Shamika,” I reiterated and reached for her hand.
“Tell that lie to someone who will believe it. And don’t touch me!” She swiped my hand to avoid me touching her.
“There you go trippin’!”
“Bye, Korey Taylor.”
“You think I wanna be in a position out here in this world where I can’t take care of myself and our daughter?”
“Do you think that our daughter wants to be in a position to continue to have to grow up in this world without her father? All she did while you were away was talk about you. She missed you, Korey. I missed you! Why can’t you just work an honest nine to five? That’s what I do.”
“Shamika, babe, with all due respect, we’re two different people. You—”
“Only by choice, Korey!” she cut me off. “Now, when are you going to stop making bad choices? What if you die in them streets, hustling? That would kill Olivia. She would have to live with that her whole life, seeing her father, who she loves, in a casket!”
I inhaled and exhaled hard, causing my jaws to inflate, while turning away from Shamika, looking over at my car. “Look, Shamika. I love you. And, I’ll just have to see you later,” I said and then began walking to my car.
“You don’t love me. And you don’t love Olivia! You love making bad decisions!” she shouted; then she went back inside her place, slamming the door behind her.