by Tasha Jones
“If you want me to stop tell me now. I want you and if you don’t tell me soon I won’t be able to stop,” he said.
“I don’t want you to stop.” Before she even finished, he pushed his hands into her hair and loved her mouth with his.
He pushed into her slowly, savoring the feel of her, the heat. It was as if nothing else existed for her as she felt him move within her. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him even deeper, as she dug her fingers into his back. He loved her recklessly and she gave over with abandon.
It started slowly and gradually grew faster, more erratic. She felt as though she was stretched to capacity, but she met him thrust for thrust. She looked up at him once and in that moment they were perfectly joined. He moved his hands under her and leaned back on his legs as he lifted her up and reached even deeper inside her. She felt his body tremble as he grew closer, the thought excited her and as he leaned down to tug at her nipple with his mouth she felt herself slipping. She moaned his name as she tightened around him and watching her orgasm was his undoing. With one finally push deep inside, he filled her. The shock went through her like a wave. Even then he stayed his place, buried deep. It was too good, to feel herself full of his length. She made no move to change positions but lay there with him.
They lay together after, silently thinking of what to say to each other. She was spooned into him lying on her side and she felt him drawing lazy circles on her hips. She could feel his breath on her hair as she lay there. She knew there was only a few moments of this left before reality came back to the surface. She knew this would complicate things, complicate them. She rolled over on her side and he pulled her back to him.
“Not yet Jasmine, not yet.” She relaxed and nestled into him once more allowing sleep to take over, and give way to her dreams.
***
Fortunately, she didn’t have to face the reality of what had happened first thing. She opened her eyes and sat up, pulling the sheet with her. She was still in his room, but he had gone for the day. She laid her head back on the pillow and breathed in the scent of him. Whatever they had tried to avoid was done now, and there was no turning back. It was all so complicated now. She stood and found her clothes strewn about the room. She slipped them on and made her way into the hall so that she could slip back into her room. It was still early and she could go back to sleep for a little while.
Chapter Ten - Parker
She was under his skin there was no doubt about it.
Last night had been a huge mistake and there was no way they could come back from it. She made him crazy and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. He couldn’t lose this ranch, that was for sure. They would have to either avoid each other or he would have to find a different surrogate.
He swore as he beat the dust off of his hat. Thinking about her leaving was too much, it was too hard. She was as much a part of this as anyone else. They had spent hours talking about the ranch and life there. She knew how important it was for him to keep it. If they couldn’t stop this thing between them, she would understand if this wouldn’t work. There was more about it to consider. He cared about her. It was that factor that made him think more about finding a new way out of this situation.
He remembered how she had looked that morning when he left. She had been wrapped up in front of him and he had slept like a baby, when he pulled away from her to leave it had been the hardest thing he had ever done. He wanted to wake her up gently, slowly and make love to her in the early morning hours of dawn.
He sat on the chair beside the bed watching her for a moment. She slept with a sleepy smile on her face and her body was perfectly shaped. For a moment he thought about how she would look pregnant and he swelled up with a sense of purpose. She would be even more beautiful then, creating and carrying life.
Even now, thinking about how she felt beneath him, he felt himself harden. He wanted even more of her than before. He had hoped by crossing this line that he would be able to put her behind him and see her as the surrogate and nothing more. Sadly, that wasn’t the case. He would have to tell her this wasn’t working, He would have to let her go.
Chapter Eleven - Jasmine
There was no denying things were different. She felt her heart race when she heard the front door slam closed. Today had been the longest day of her life. She needed to see him, talk to him. They needed to make sense of it all. She waited for him in the dining room and stood when he entered. He brushed past her and sunk down in his chair, not looking up at her. She could tell he was in a mood, but her heart was breaking slightly at his indifference. How could he be so cold to her after the night they shared? She tried to talk to him a few times, but his responses were short and clipped. Eventually she gave up and left the room. She felt the tears well up as she headed to her room. She was a fool. She had given herself to him last night and now he treated her with indifference as if nothing had happened at all. She went out the back door and out onto the lawn. The sun was just setting and she needed the fresh air. She felt him behind her long before he said anything.
“Jasmine, we need to talk.” She turned around quickly and put her hands on her hips.
“Oh really Parker, now you want to talk to me? I tried to talk to you for over an hour and you treated me like I didn’t exist. Now you follow me all the way out here to tell me you’re ready to talk to me NOW! You think the world revolves around you Parker but it’s not just you anymore.”
She stood there her breath coming in short bursts.
“I’m sorry Jasmine, really. Last night… well the thing is I don’t know what to do anymore.” He wrung his hands and walked over to a bench in the yard. She followed him. And he continued. “I feel things about you Jasmine, I do… the problem is I can’t.”
“I watched my father fall apart after my mother died and I swore I would never love anyone like that. Ever. I don’t intend to start that now. I care about you and the truth of it is I want you. Even now standing here looking at you full of fire. I want to pull you in my arms again and take you in my room and make love to you for hours.”
She took a deep breath. Even hearing the words did something to her and she knew this was getting out of control. “Parker I didn’t ask for this… me and you. If I recall you kissed me, you pulled me into your room. I am not asking you to love me, I don't even believe in it.” He glanced up at her then and frowned.
“Maybe this won’t work for us Jasmine. I just don’t know.” He sounded sad and his heart was heavy with each word he spoke.
Jasmine took a step back as if she had been hit. Without a word she turned and stomped back into the house. She shut the door of her room in a rush and started pulling her things into her bags. If he wanted her to go she would go. She let the tears run unchecked down her face. She had come here to help him, to do something to help all of them really, and now she wasn’t going to work out for him because he “felt” something? Would he want the money back now? Most of it, she had sent to her family and what was left would get her back home at least. Maybe then she could start over and put this whole mess behind her. She knew there was much more than just business on her end too, she had developed feelings for him quickly, and she just didn’t know what they were. She called the cab before she could change her mind and carried her bags out front alone. Miss Becca had the night off and fortunately saved Jasmine from having to face her. She gave one last look at the house before she got into the cab and left. She headed to town. There was a flight leaving in the morning and she intended to be on it.
She spent the night crying like she had long ago when her mother had died. There was a sense of loss now that swallowed her up. She had to admit to herself that she was in love with Parker. It would be so much easier to pretend that she didn’t, but it was too late now. She showered and made her way to the airport. Some small part of her had hoped that he would show up and stop her, like they always did in the romance novels, but he hadn’t. She waited for her flight to board and as she watched Texas fade into t
he distance she decided to focus on home, and starting over again.
The flight went quickly and she started to try and build herself up for seeing her father and sister. They were both excited to see her and she needed to put on a good face. If they knew she was sad her father would worry and she didn’t want that. She got off the plane and her sister ran to her embracing her in a hug. Her sister was very much like her father. Her skin was a darker shade and she was embracing her “sisterhood” as she would often say and had left her hair in its natural state. The fact of the matter was she was beautiful and had often been approached to do modeling, but she had turned it all down to focus on school.
“I am sooo glad you’re here Jaz, I have so much to tell you about there is a boy at school and he is so cute but I ignore him which makes him so crazy.” Jasmine smiled at her, to listen to her sister and her drama at school was exactly what she needed.
Jasmine noticed her father’s stare and avoided the questioning glance he gave her. They made their way to the car and Jasmine smiled. This car had been around since her sister Rika was born. She threw her bags in the trunk and finally they were on their way. She watched as her father carefully maneuvered his way through town and down the street where she had grown up. She put her things in the room, she shared with her sister and went downstairs to talk to her father.
“I was wondering if you were going to come down here and talk about it or if I was going to have to come up there and ask.”She saw him massaging his injured leg under the table.
“Things just didn’t work out Daddy, that’s all.” She picked at the blanket draped on the back of the couch.
“Oh no Jasmine go on and get it out you will feel better.” He walked carefully into the living room and settled into his chair waiting for her to share.
It only took a moment before she took a deep breath and proceeded to tell him everything. She had watched his face change over the course of her story. From disbelief to anger to sadness. She had failed to share with him the intimate parts, but she had shared her feelings and that she was in love with him. Finally, when he did speak, he took her hand in his.
“Jasmine I loved your mother with every single part of my being. She was the light in my life until you girls came along, that is. She was the best thing before you and I would never want to be without her. Sadly, life happens and when it does you can’t always control the outcome. All I can tell you is that even knowing how things would end up I would do it all again because loving someone is the greatest thing in the world.”
She took his words to heart and hugged him before going to bed. Her sister had class tomorrow and she would take the day to figure out her next move. From then on she would get something right and finally put Parker Jackson out of her mind.
The days turned into weeks and Jasmine was sicker than she had ever been in her life. She had been home exactly three weeks when the flu had hit her hard. The issue was, it seemed to flare up in the mornings more than any other and she was having a hard time eating anything. She moved through her days slowly, one step at a time. She finally had found a job at a diner on the east end of town, close to home and she was right back where she had started before Parker. Even thinking about him hurt. She glanced down at her hand at the band she still wore. Some part of her liked it, liked knowing they were still married. He had tried to call her a few times, but she had ignored him. She couldn’t afford to be distracted by emotion. After her shift Jasmine decided to go to the doctor.
Working third shift had its perks. She was able to leave there and swing by the hospital on her way home. She didn’t have insurance anymore, surely Parker had cancelled that by now. She was laying in the bed waiting for the doctor when her phone rang. It was him. She knew she would have to face him eventually, if for any other reason than to sign the divorce papers. Suddenly the doctor came in with a smile.
“Miss Turner it appears you are not sick at all, in fact you're fine. You are pregnant.”
The world fell from under her as he spoke the words. She listened as he told her all about prenatal vitamins and finding a doctor locally. There was a numbing haze surrounding her as she took it all in. Her phone rang again after he left and she knew she would answer this time.
“Parker.” She whispered into the phone.
“Jasmine, oh my god I have been trying to find you for weeks, we need to talk I am going crazy.”
“Parker I’m pregnant. I am at the hospital now. I know things were messy, but I’m scared.”
“Where are you Jasmine?” she told him her address.
She heard him hang up and she took a deep breath.
Chapter Twelve – Parker
He was frantic. He was terrified and angry. He was a good many other things as well, but right now he couldn’t put a name on every single one of them. She had been gone three weeks, three weeks and then when she does respond it’s to tell him she’s pregnant. He had never expected her to go. He had said all of those things to her that night, but he didn’t mean right at that moment. He had gone to bed angry with himself and the next morning was when he realized, she was gone. He had sent her messages and voicemails and nothing. He tried to contact the agency to get her address, if she wouldn’t respond, he would just go face her, but they wouldn’t give it to him.
She was still his wife, damn it! They had signed all of those papers in that office and the moment they’d had sex they had consummated this sham of a marriage they had created. She could keep the baby now, hell she could do anything she wanted. Everything had slowly fallen apart, and it was his fault. What could he blame her for? Being too beautiful, too sweet? He had made the first move and even as he sat there he knew he would do it again, given half a chance. He had missed her smile, the way she laughed. He was too close and yet here he was on a flight to New York of all places. He detested the big cities, but in order to bring her back home with him, he knew he would have to go get her.
He found his rental car and set out to find her. The GPS route was simple enough, but he was taken back to the area she lived in. It was in a neighborhood where people were everywhere and to be honest he didn’t trust it. He would definitely have to bring her back with him, there was no debate there. Finally the car found the house and he pulled into the driveway. He hesitated for a second before he took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
The door flew open and he was almost knocked down the stair by a mass of hair and a stream of perfume. He knew the moment she turned around that this was Jasmine's little sister. The next whirlwind came by quickly and he watched in awe as she yelled after her.
“Rika! It’s just homework and you have to get it done!” She was yelling at the figure growing smaller as it moved away from them. “You need to go to college you know?” She was yelling now at the figure that kept going.”
When she turned around to head back in she looked at him, he could tell she was surprised.
“Parker, what are you doing here?” she shook her head. “Maybe I should ask why you didn’t tell me you were on your way. I would have met you someplace.” She shielded her eyes and looked up at him.
“How are you feeling Jasmine? I mean… you know?” He gestured towards her stomach and she smiled.
“Let’s go inside and chat, my father went into the city and we have a couple hours.” He followed her inside. The house was small but tidy and efficient. It had a homey feel and he glanced at the pictures lining the wall.
They sat down and Parker stared at her. “Jasmine, I tried to get in touch with you after you left, I didn’t think you would run that night, I was terrified something had happened to you. I had half of the police department looking for you until we found out you had flown out of the state. I assumed then you were headed home, but I didn’t know where.”
“I’m sorry. After we last spoke I assumed that’s exactly what you wanted me to do.”
He watched her expression change and he knew she had been hurt during the entire exchange.
“I never
meant to hurt you Jasmine, I want you to know that.” He saw her deep sigh.
“The question is what do you want to do now Parker? I’m pregnant, just as required. Do you want this baby? Do you want me to keep it? I would if you wanted to go a different route you know. If you wanted someone else.” She looked up at him.
“I don’t want anyone else Jasmine, I want you… your baby. You understand me, understand what drives me and you are ok with the arrangement we already have.”
She smiled. “You have the ranch Parker. As of this moment you essentially have everything you were required to have.” She subconsciously touched her stomach.
Had he been with anyone else that small movement would not have meant a thing to him. Sadly, this wasn’t just anyone. He felt his heart tighten just watching her do that. Nothing had changed, he wanted her as much as ever. It was different somehow, deeper, stronger. He felt the pull to protect her, and the baby.
“Come back to the ranch with me Jasmine, I’m not sure what’s happening with us. It’s all a mess, but the baby is here, it's real now.” He watched the emotions play out on her face. He wanted to tell her it would be ok, that he would love her, but he wasn’t sure if that was true, not until the ranch was secure, not until he knew what he felt. He needed time, that would make it all fall into place.
“Parker I am fine here, my father and my sister and I are ok. You don’t have to be responsible for me anymore. When the time comes and the baby is here I will call you and you can come get him.”
She stood and made her way over to the window, waiting for his response.
“Absolutely not, Jasmine, I want you there, I want my baby born there. When he is here, you can go home.” He touched her arm. “I just won’t feel safe, Jasmine, like I’m out of touch with what happens to him. I want to go to the doctor with you, and make sure you’re fed. I want to be a part of the process. Please, don’t take that from me.”