“She’s adorable,” Summer said after they left the Roar Room. “Bubbles?”
“Yes,” Faith said, reaching up to pet her.
“You’re very lucky to have a raktsasa,” Summer said. “I remember wanting one when I was a child, but even though my parents were successful, they could not afford one.”
“They’re that expensive?” Faith asked, a sinking feeling in her stomach.
Summer gave her a strange look. “Yes, they are both rare and ruinously expensive for most people. How long have you had Bubbles?”
“Not long,” Faith said. “The Falcorans bought her for me before we left Jasan.”
“They wanted you to feel safe,” Summer said after a moment’s thought. “May I ask your name? I know that your identity as the Unblind is secret, but I can’t very well call you that.”
“Faith Meyers,” Faith said. “And thanks for helping out with the guys. I’m curious though. How come I haven’t seen you before? I know it’s a big ship, but it seems odd to me.”
“We haven’t been on this ship,” Summer replied, smiling. “We speed travelled over when one of the Falcoran nephews voxed to tell us the Admirals were in a blood rage.”
“I see,” Faith said. “Well, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Summer said. “Faith Meyers, that’s a familiar name. Your sister was Grace, correct?”
“Yes,” Faith said. “Did you know her?”
“No, but I have heard much of her from Hope Bearen and Aisling Gryphon. Aisling is on the Ala-Lahoi with her Rami, the Gryphons. She knew Grace, and I’m sure she’d like to meet you.”
“I’d like to meet her too, but not tonight,” Faith said.
“No, not tonight,” Summer agreed. “Which way is the cafeteria? I’d love some coffee.”
“Won’t it keep you awake?” Faith said as she began walking toward the elevators.
“Nah,” Summer said with a grin. “I’m Clan Jasani. I could drink it all day long and it wouldn’t have any effect on me.”
“Lucky you,” Faith said wistfully.
***
Tristan watched Faith leave with Summer, comforted by the fact that Bubbles was with her. He turned back to face Maxim Katre, his blood rage under control, but still throbbing just below the surface.
“Thank you, Consul Maxim, for your assistance,” he said with a short bow.
“You are welcome, Admiral,” Maxim replied, bowing in return. He studied the Falcorans carefully for a long moment. “I am curious. As you are aware, it is a weakness of the Katres.”
Tristan forced a polite smile. “What is it that you are curious about?”
“I am curious as to why it is your Arima believes you are already mated, and therefore cannot claim her?” Maxim kept both his tone and his manner mild, though inwardly he was tense. It was difficult to imagine any male-set committing such a deception against their Arima, but everyone knew what the Falcorans had been through, and their anger toward all women because of it. When Tristan, Gray, and Jon all froze in shock, then shook their heads, he knew they had not deliberately lied, and relaxed.
Tristan turned toward Gray, then Jon, as the three of them attempted to understand how Faith could have come to such a conclusion.
“I see,” Jon said after a moment. “We told her that we’d drunk the potion. Like the other woman, Faith made an incorrect assumption. We should have realized that would happen.”
“Yes, you are correct,” Tristan said. “We must correct that error as soon as we can.”
“Are the three of you all right now?” Maxim asked. “I understand that it is not our place to interfere, but as you are the Admirals in charge of this task force, we didn’t think leaving you in a blood rage for a few days was a feasible option.”
“We’re greatly appreciative for your assistance,” Tristan said. “We were unprepared for...information that we received. We’re in control now, thank you.”
“It was our honor to assist,” Maxim replied with complete understanding. Learning that any woman had been raped would be difficult enough for a Clan Jasani. For that woman to be their Arima did not bear thinking of. “We will now collect our Arima and return to the Vyand.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Faith was so relieved to see the Falcorans enter the cafeteria with the Katres that she was glad she was sitting down. Otherwise, the sudden weakness in her knees would have had her on her butt again, and once had been enough. She barely paid attention to the polite thank yous and goodbyes before the Katres vanished, speed traveling back to their own ship.
“Would you like to return to your room?” Tristan asked. His manner was stiff, as were Gray’s and Jon’s, but Faith felt their emotions, and knew that they were worried, and ashamed of themselves for their loss of control.
“Yes, please,” she said, standing up. She waited until they were in the elevator, then she turned around so she could see all three of them. “Are you guys all right? I was so scared, and I didn’t know what to do.”
“Yes, we’re fine,” Tristan replied. “We are sorry to have frightened you, Faith. We did not mean to.”
“There’s no reason to apologize,” Faith said. “What happened is my fault, not yours. I shouldn’t have dumped that on you the way I did. But honestly, I had no idea that would happen.”
“Of course you didn’t,” Tristan said as the elevator doors opened. “And it wasn’t your fault. Blood rages are a natural part of life for Clan Jasani. We know this, and work to avoid them as best we can. Even so, there are times when our efforts fail. That’s the main reason we have shifting chambers on our ships. They give us a place to go where we can shift without endangering those around us.”
“Summer Katre said that I should be able to sing you out of it, but when I tried to go through the door, her Rami stopped me,” Faith said. “They said I couldn’t be risked.”
“Yes,” Tristan said. “That is something we must discuss with you when you feel up to it.”
They’d reached Faith’s room and were standing in the hall. Faith opened the door, and stood aside, inviting them in. “It doesn’t have to be right now, Faith,” Tristan said. “It’s very late, and you must be tired after all that has happened.”
“I am tired, but I won’t be able to sleep wondering what you want to tell me, so we might as well do it now.”
Tristan hesitated, then reluctantly entered the room, Gray and Jon right behind him. Once they were all seated around the table as they had been earlier, Tristan tried to think of an easy way to say what needed to be said. In the end, he knew, he just had to say it.
“When we told you about the mating ceremony, and that we drank the potion before Diane revealed her true self, we made an assumption that we should not have made. Since Diane made the same assumption, we should have realized you would as well. We had no intention of deceiving you in any way.”
“All right,” Faith said, their nervousness making her nervous. “What assumption did you make?”
“Clan Jasani have an extremely high regeneration rate,” Tristan said. “It’s necessary for shifters. It’s why we do not age or get sick, and why we heal very quickly from most injuries. The potion that alters our serum is formulated in such a way as to prevent our bodies from neutralizing it quickly, though it does, after about twelve hours, lose effectiveness. When that happens, the serum in our mating fangs is ‘healed’ so to speak, and returns to normal, and our mating fangs recede.”
Faith’s heart leapt in her chest. Not with fear, though. Not this time. This time, it was with hope. “I’m not exactly sure what you are telling me,” she said carefully.
“We are telling you that we are not mated,” Tristan said, glancing at his brothers to see if they, too, had felt Faith’s reaction, and interpreted it the way he had. Their wide eyes and tense postures indicated they had. “Mating takes place only after the serum has been injected.”
“I’m so glad,” Faith said softly, as though talking to herself more than them.
She looked up at Tristan and saw the hope, and the worry.
“I know you didn’t deliberately deceive me,” Faith said. “But, as honest as you guys are being with me, I have to be as honest with you.”
“You have been dishonest with us?” Tristan asked.
“No,” Faith said. “I didn’t lie to you, or anything like that. It’s just...,”
“Go ahead, Faith,” Tristan urged gently. “We won’t become angry again. I promise.”
“I’m not worried about that,” Faith said. “It’s just...my entire life, from birth, Grace and I had each other. We shared everything, completely, and she was always there for me, as I was for her.”
“We understand that,” Jon said. “We would be lost without each other.”
“That’s just it exactly,” Faith said. “I needed someone to confide in. Someone to share my pain with. Not just someone. Grace. I needed Grace, but she was gone. I felt lost.” She paused, then looked up into their eyes. “I trust you guys. I tried arguing myself out of it, but I couldn’t. The trust I have for you isn’t because of anything you said or did. Something inside of me trusts you, and there’s no logic or reason to it. But I was still afraid. When you told me...or rather, when I assumed that you were mated, I thought that made you guys safe. I know that you don’t want me as your Arima, that you don’t feel that way about me. But that wasn’t enough. I’m sorry. It was wrong of me not to trust you more than I did.”
The room fell silent for long moments as Faith waited for their response. When it came, it wasn’t what she expected.
“Since your mistake is what helped you to confide in us, then we are glad of it,” Tristan said. “The truth is that we would have done almost anything to learn the reasons behind your fear. We were getting desperate. But Faith, there is one thing you’re wrong about.”
“What’s that?” she asked, a little weak with relief that they weren’t angry with her.
“When we met, we did not want an Arima,” Tristan said, meeting her gaze and holding it with his own. “More accurately, I didn’t. You now know why I felt as I did, but that is no excuse for my behavior toward you. Since then, I’ve learned many lessons. The most important one is that I owe Diane a huge thank you, which I will send to her as soon as we return to Jasan.”
“Thank you?” Faith asked, surprised. She hadn’t known what he was going to say, but she sure hadn’t expected that. From the expressions on the faces of his brothers, they hadn’t expected it either.
“Yes, thank you,” Tristan said. “If not for her trickery, we might have truly mated with a human woman. If we had done that, we would not have experienced the joy of knowing, and loving, you, Faith Meyers. We do want to claim you as our Arima. Very much. It is our hope that one day you will feel as we do, and allow us to do so.”
Faith sat as if frozen, her mind whirling with so many thoughts that she couldn’t settle on any of them. She focused instead on her emotions, recognizing that they were more honest than her thoughts at the moment. She felt exhilaration. Happiness. Relief. And fear. Lots of fear.
She looked at the Falcorans and asked herself what she was afraid of. These were good men. She felt them. She knew them. And, most shockingly, she wanted them. They would never, ever, harm her. She knew that with every fiber of her being. So why the fear?
As though in answer to her question, the memory of the three guards appeared in her mind. Their leers, their laughter, their grunts and groans, their utter disregard for her screams as they took their pleasure in her pain. Three of them. That was the fear.
She felt tears threaten as she acknowledged the truth to herself. She could not do that again. It was too much. She knew what her heart wanted. But neither her body, nor her mind, could go through that again.
The Falcorans felt Faith’s emotions as clearly as she did. Now that they’d all acknowledged their feelings for her, it was as though a window that had been partially open had been swung wide. Her happiness was wonderful to behold. But her terror was a heavy darkness that overshadowed her happiness.
“We will leave you now, Faith,” Tristan said, recognizing that she needed to be alone now. “Before we go, I would ask one favor of you.”
Faith swallowed hard. “Favor?”
“We ask that you give us permission to send you into a deep sleep when you have one of your nightmares,” he said.
Faith nodded, but couldn’t speak around the lump in her throat.
“Thank you,” Tristan said. “Try to get some sleep.”
She could only nod again, then sit and watch as they filed out of her room and closed the door quietly behind them. Now that they were gone she could no longer hold back the tears, and didn’t try. After a while she got up and kicked off her shoes, then laid down on the bed, too exhausted to undress. She fell asleep with Bubbles purring softly in her ear, too tired even for the nightmares to reach her.
Outside her door, Tristan relaxed and withdrew his Water magic, glad that Faith had finally gone to sleep. Her emotions were so intense that they’d drained her, and them as well.
“She was happy, for a moment,” Gray said.
“Very happy,” Jon agreed. “But she’s also afraid. I don’t know why, though.”
“”I know,” Tristan said. He looked at his brothers, gauging their emotions. “Brace yourselves,” he said, warning them that what he was about to say might touch off another blood rage.
Gray and Jon prepared themselves for something bad, as much as possible. When they were ready, they nodded.
“There were three of them,” Tristan said. They looked at him in confusion. “Three guards,” he said. “Three.”
Gray stiffened, then dropped his head in abject hopelessness. Jon threw his head back and squeezed his eyes shut as he struggled to hold back the rising tide of fury threatening to overwhelm him again. He slipped, held on, slipped again, then felt his brothers reach for him, soothing him with their Water magic. It was long minutes before he felt safe enough to relax and open his eyes again.
“Thank you, Brothers,” he said, panting slightly from the effort he’d just expended. “I apologize.”
Tristan nodded absently. “I confess, I cannot think of a way around this one.”
“Time,” Gray said, though there was no hope in his voice. “She needs time.”
“That we can give her in abundance,” Tristan said. He smiled when both of his brothers looked at him in surprise. “She is our Arima. Our first duty is to see to her care in all things, whether we are able to claim her or not. I will never give up hoping that she will one day accept us.”
“It may take a long time,” Jon said, shoving back the mental images that threatened to tear his calm away again. “It may take forever.”
“Then that is how long we will wait,” Tristan replied.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Faith awoke the next morning still feeling tired. Her eyes were puffy from all the tears she’d shed, and she felt mentally and emotionally drained from the previous night’s events. She forced herself out of bed only because she had to care for Bubbles. She’d just finished brushing the raktsasa when there was a knock on her door.
She opened it cautiously, surprised to see Jon standing in the hall with a tray. “Good morning, Faith,” he said. He was smiling, but Faith felt his sadness. “We thought you’d prefer to have breakfast in your room this morning.”
“Thank you,” she said, stepping aside to let him in. He carried the tray to the table and put it down, then walked back to the door.
“You are still tired,” he said, gazing at her face for a moment. “We’ll be going through the new jump point to Crian in just a few minutes. It will take much of the day for the entire task force to pass through. We’ll be scanning for unknown anomalies while we wait, but you have at least a few hours before we will need to call upon your talents. Might I suggest a hot bath, perhaps a nap?”
“Thanks, Jon, that’s a good idea,” Faith said. “And thank you for bringing breakfast
. That was thoughtful of you.”
“It was my pleasure,” Jon said. He stepped through the door, then turned back for one moment. “Faith,” he said, “please don’t worry. We don’t expect anything from you. All right?”
Faith nodded, but she hadn’t really been worried that they’d try to pressure her. She knew them well enough now to know better than that. Jon smiled again, then turned and walked away. She closed the door, then went to the table, glad to see that someone, Jon probably, had understood that this was a morning when she needed coffee. She poured herself a cup from the carafe on the tray and closed her eyes as she took a long sip. She could almost feel the caffeine spreading slowly through her body. She emptied the cup, then refilled it before turning to the food on the tray.
When she was finished eating she sat and nursed the final cup of coffee while petting Bubbles. Then she went into the bathroom and filled the tub with the hottest water she could stand. She removed her clothes, automatically averting her gaze from the mirrors. The moment she realized what she was doing she forced herself to look at her reflection. It was time to stop avoiding. Time to really face the truth, and accept it.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Stalnek Winicke sat in his private office aboard the Chameleon, staring at the view screen set into the wall across from his desk. The sun had just risen on the planet below where Kevlin walked slowly over the rough terrain, the camera on his lapel providing Stalnek with a clear, if sometimes shaky, image. For once Stalnek held his temper in check, not even bothering to yell at his cousin and right hand man for his carelessness.
He’d been looking forward to the excitement and relief from his fellow Brethren when he arrived on Onddo. Instead, he’d watched Magoa, leader of the Narrasti, on this very same view screen as he’d told him that his people were no more. Stalnek listened numbly as Magoa explained how the Brethren had died off, one by one, possibly due to an incompatibility with the food, water, or air of Onddo. All that remained were the small, tent like dwellings that flapped in the wind, and a field of markers, each bearing a name.
The Falcoran’s Faith Page 22