“It’s alright. You’re okay, don’t struggle.” The voice came from far away, “We’re going to let you have a sleep it will all be better when you waken up. Don’t worry. We are looking after you.”
It made no sense, he was terrified, he wanted Marie. She had gone into the dark. His limbs became leaden, the panic abated, and he floated into the welcoming void…
The brightness was painful but the panic had gone. He felt calm but puzzled, there was still a strange feeling in his throat, he tried to swallow and it brought back the pain and some panic.
“It’s alright Samuel, don’t be upset. You have a tube in your throat, it’s to help you to breathe, just relax, you mustn’t try to talk.”
A face floated into his line of vision, a kind face smiling at him. He felt a hand, soft on his face. The world was returning, he tried to look around.
“Don’t move too much Samuel. I know you’re confused but just keep quiet and it’ll all make sense soon. You were hurt. You’ve been very ill but you’re going to be fine. Do you understand me, just squeeze my hand.”
The other hand in his palm was an anchor, and he squeezed, feeling the movement in his own fingers, in his arm.
“That’s great. Now you have to be patient. You had some damage to your lungs and you’ve been very poorly. We have to make sure you can breathe on your own before we take the tube out. I know it’s not very nice but it shouldn’t be for long. Okay?”
He squeezed again and the nurse, he recognised now it was a nurse, smiled at him.
“Brilliant. Now we are here with you, we aren’t going to leave you on your own, if you want anything you’ll have to point. You have a catheter to take care of your bladder and there are tubes in your arm for fluid. Doctor is on his way and he’ll give you a once over. Okay love?”
He squeezed.
Slowly it made some sense, he was in hospital, he couldn’t remember how but the nurse would tell him, or the doctor. He took stock, his throat felt odd and he was sore, his chest felt really painful and his whole body ached. He tried to remember but nothing came except that Marie had been there. He wondered where she was now, poor Marie, she’d be so worried. He wanted to hold her hand, he wanted to tell her he was okay. He tried to attract the nurse, raised his hand, tried to wave and she saw him and came to the bedside.
“It’s okay Samuel, just keep calm. Do you need something?”
He nodded. She stroked his arm and looked around, checked his catheter, his pillow and the sheet covering him. She reached over and pulled a little notepad from the top of the trolley beside the bed. She handed it to him and snapped the pen from her pocket.
“Do you think you can write it down for me?”
He took the pen and struggled with the incredible weight of it, his fingers had forgotten how to make the shapes, she steadied his hand. Marie, he wrote.
When she read the word the nurse simply shook her head. Your friend, she isn’t here. Don’t worry about it now, just try to relax.
He didn’t understand, there was so much he didn’t understand but Marie she wouldn’t leave him, not now. Where was she, tears formed in his eyes, he needed her so badly. The nurse took his hand and stroked his head.
“You’ve been through the mill Samuel, don’t upset yourself, give it time just try to keep calm.”
He felt his lids starting to close, he was so tired but Marie, where was she. He needed to see her, why wasn’t she here?
Chapter 51
“Come on love, we have to go in this way, then I have to clock in, just stay near me and nobody’ll notice you.”
Sylvie smiled at Lennie’s aunty. She was dressed in a blue overall and carried a plastic shopping bag, underneath she wore the plain clothes Lennie had brought. She fit in well with the other cleaners and maintenance people jostling and joking as they passed through the scratched and battered door at the rear of the huge hospital building. A couple of the workers grinned at her.
“This another of your nieces eh Marj?”
“Yeah, that’s it, she’s starting today and you keep your hands off her Steve. I don’t want you leading her astray.”
They were inside and as they made their way through the narrow corridors Marj pulled Sylvie into a small alcove.
“Right, now, if you’re still sure you want to try this you just need to go up those stairs. Four flights gets you to the back entrance of the ITU. I don’t think there’s a copper there but once you get inside there are a couple on duty all the time as far as I can tell. You might be able to sneak in, there are some baskets, you need to take a flimsy overall, some overshoes and a hat. Use the hand cleaning thing on the wall and then it’s up to you whether you can blag your way into his room or not. I don’t think you’ll be able to do it but…” She gave a shrug and shook her head.
Sylvie gave the other woman a quick hug.
“Thanks Marj and please don’t worry, if I get caught I’ll never mention you, I promise.”
She took the stairs slowly, her body still reminded her of the events in the warehouse and she was nervous anyway. She was frightened she would end this venture in the police cells and all the horror of the past days would have been for nothing. She was driven though, by the need to see him and the knowledge that Samuel was a countable number of steps away.
The door was painted blue, a small window in the side just above the handle, gave a view of the department. Letters had been stencilled onto the wood ‘ITU’. Beside the door there was a small dispenser with a laminated notice exhorting her to wash her hands. Plastic crates held packages containing the flimsy overalls, the overshoes and paper hats. She gowned up and squeezed the antiseptic gel onto her hands. The door was heavy and she squared her shoulders as she pushed at it. It refused to move. She pushed again then saw the small metal box, “Please Ring and Wait”. As Sylvie jabbed at the button, a nurse stationed behind a central desk turned to look in her direction and then came and dragged open the door.
“Cleaner, sorry I’m new I was told to come here.”
“Didn’t they give you a pass key?”
Sylvie shook her head.
“Honestly, bloody contractors.”
With this remark the nurse turned on her heel and stalked back across the vinyl flooring, she turned and looked over her shoulder.
“Cleaning stuff’s in the cupboard, don’t suppose they told you that either did they?”
Sylvie lowered her gaze and trod quietly past the desk and slipped into the little room. She leaned against the wall for a moment giving her pounding heart the chance to settle and calm. The room was filled with shelving units holding boxes and bottles, there were mops in the corner and a vacuum cleaner.
She had glanced around and as Marj had warned her, a policeman in uniform sat on a plastic chair outside what must be Samuel’s room. The door was closed and there was no way to tell who was in there. She doubted he would be alone but had no real knowledge of how this all worked. Most of the other patients were in beds in the main unit and easily visible to the staff. If Samuel was in the side room then surely there would be someone with him, either police or hospital workers or possibly even both.
She collected the vacuum cleaner and made her way back through the department. Plugged in and turned on it became a screen and a shield, she was the cleaner. Nobody notices the cleaner and so inch by inch she swept her way towards his door.
She was relieved that the policeman on duty was one she hadn’t met before while she was waiting for Samuel to come out of surgery. He looked up and gave her a disinterested smile and then went back to his study of a magazine. She continued with her vacuuming.
She laid her hand on the door handle and instantly the constable was alert.
“No love not in there.”
“Oh, but I have to clean all the floors. It’s what they said, all the floors, behind the desk, inside the storage rooms everything.”
“That’s not a storage room, there’s a patient in there.”
“Oh, well
I’ll be quiet. Try not to disturb them. Are they really sick then? Is that why the door’s shut? Is it a bloke or a woman?”
“Look love, I told you not in there. Now just get on with whatever else you have to do right.”
He glared at her now and she turned away with a shrug and continued until the whole unit had been covered. Then she went and brought out the toilet cleaning equipment. She was winging it now but he was so near. If she could just see him it would be enough, she didn’t even need to talk. If she could just see him and, if he was awake, let him know she was here.
She cleaned the toilets in the main unit and as she passed the closed door she stopped.
“Now I have to do the bog in there. Even you can see that, it’s a hygiene thing, the bog needs to be done. I won’t be long. Come on please, I’m on probation, I need to show ‘em I can do a good job.”
The policeman gave her a long look, glanced down at the pail of cleaning gear and shrugged his shoulders.
“Go on then, quick mind and I’m standing by the door. Don’t disturb the bloke and don’t try to talk to him and bloody well hurry up. My boss’ll be here in five minutes and he’ll have my guts for garters if he finds you in there.”
She pushed open the door.
Chapter 52
Back in the shabby flat Lennie paced back and forth. She stubbed out a cigarette, plopped down onto the chair but couldn’t settle. Her mind whirled. Although their relationship was in its infancy she felt strongly drawn to Sylvie. She recognised in the other girl things which were part of her own make up. Though they hadn’t talked about it she knew Sylvie had been down many of the same roads she herself had travelled.
Life had been tough, a struggle from the earliest days. Losing her brother to drugs, her own soul to prostitution and many friends to crime, depression and all the other things that blighted lives around her she had simply trudged on taking where she could and giving when it was possible. Now though, after seeing the dreadful injuries and the depth of terror in her eyes in the warehouse she was tormented by what had happened to Sylvie.
Though Sylvie had told her repeatedly that she didn’t blame her Lennie held herself totally responsible and though she could forgive her brother for wasting his life and herself for many of the things she had done this was now too much. She had done it because she was afraid, truly afraid for her own life but it was no longer enough to use fear as an excuse, she had to take control. A plan began to form.
When Sylvie came back from the hospital she needed to have a talk to her, put her ideas into words and she hoped to be able to convince the other girl it was the way to go. She lit another cigarette and for the hundredth time in the last hour checked the clock. Time crawled by, it was only mid-morning. She threw on her jacket and went out for a walk. She would go to the pub, get some company and try to pass the day.
As she made her way towards the short cut through the little park she didn’t notice the big black car parked around the corner, or the two thugs waiting and watching…
Back at the hospital Sylvie took a breath as she pushed open the door to Samuel’s room. It was dimmer in here than the department as a whole, blinds had been pulled over the window. A nurse sat in the corner on a small easy chair and she glanced up as Sylvie slid through the door.
“What are you doing? You can’t come in here.”
“Cleaner, I just need to clean the toilet.”
As she spoke she took another tentative step. Her eyes were beyond her control, they swung of their own accord towards the bed. He was propped on several pillows. There were machines ranged around him, many of them beeping quietly. He had tubes in both arms but she was surprised to find he looked normal. He had colour in his face and seemed comfortable. There was no connection here with the blood soaked body she had been with in the back of the screaming ambulance. His eyes were closed. Her heart fluttered at the sight of him, she willed his lids to rise. Look at me Samuel, see me. I’m here, please look at me.
By now the nurse had risen and crossed the room.
“Sorry love, you can’t come in here. There’s nothing you need to do. Just go back into the department, carry on with your other jobs.”
She had to connect with him.
“Aw look, the poor thing, is he very sick?”
Maybe it would be enough, maybe if he heard her voice it would penetrate. His eyelids flickered. She took the chance.
“Hello love, I’m sorry you’re not well.”
As she spoke the nurse and policeman acted in unison, the nurse pushed at the door and the copper grabbed Sylvie’s arm.
“I warned you, you’re not to speak to him, come on. Move yourself.”
“Alright mate, alright. I was just being nice.”
His eyes opened, the noise and fuss had found its way through the mist surrounding him and he looked directly at her, she held her breath. Her eyes were stretched wide, she smiled and her hand rose of its own accord. He moved his head slightly, peered blearily at her and then his gaze swung to the nurse. The tube had been removed from his throat and he was parched.
“Could I have some water?”
The whispered words caught the nurse’s attention and she stepped back towards her patient.
“It’s alright Samuel. I’ll get your drink.”
The policeman dragged at Sylvie, she had to try again, to find a way to attract his attention.
“Hey, take your hands off me. I’ll sue you for assault.”
Samuel turned his head, he looked into her eyes. His gaze swung away back to the nurse who offered him a tumbler with a straw poking from the top. There had been nothing, no sign of recognition, no flash of remembrance, absolutely nothing, he had looked through her. Her shoulders slumped as the tears leaped to her eyes, she had to cover the distress, had to get away. She was choking on emotion.
“Let go you sod, let go.”
She ran from the room and through the unit, as she reached the main doors they swung open and she came face to face with Constable Forbes flanked by the male detective who had questioned her in the waiting room.
“Sylvie.” As she blurted the name Stella Forbes grabbed at the other girl. “What the hell.”
Sylvie twisted and stamped on the other woman’s foot and then she was off again, haring down these hospital corridors, running for her life as the alarms screeched around her.
Chapter 53
The flimsy shoe covers pinged from her feet and were left in a sad bundle with the hat, dragged from her head as she ran. She tore at the billowing coverall and threw it aside as she shot through the main doors. There were people after her, feet thudded on the tarmac of the road way. She jigged and turned nipping between taxis and parked cars. An emergency vehicle screeched to a halt as she flew in front of it, she flung out her arms in reaction and it missed her by inches. Breath burned in her throat as she picked up speed. An old lady hobbling before her, leaning heavily on a metal walking frame, turned at the sound of running feet.
“Oh my word, whatever is it, what’s wrong?”
She held out a hand as Sylvie flew past, “Hey, what have you done, why are you running away?”
They collided, only lightly but it was enough. The old woman tipped and stumbled.
“Oh, oh no.” She tumbled to the pavement and the metal frame crashed into the road under the wheels of a passing car. The screech of tyres and the screams of the old woman lying on the ground beat into Sylvie’s ears. She couldn’t stop, mustn’t stop and so ran on, away from the mayhem, her heart pounding and her gasping breath loud in her ears.
The chasing security guards had no choice but to stop, they had to help the old woman who had skinned her knees and the walking frame was tangled in the wheels of the car. The resultant back-up of traffic blocked the hospital entrance and an ambulance, lights flashing and siren blaring, mounted the pavement to try and find a way through the confusion.
Sylvie ran on and on, she didn’t remember the way from last time but again her instinct took he
r out from the city centre. When she felt sure she had truly left all the pursuers behind she stopped and flopped to the ground beside a brick wall. She drew up her legs and lowered her head to her knees. Every bit of her body was shaking, her throat burned and her head pounded. She sat for many minutes simply waiting for her heart to resume a steady rhythm and for her brain to still and take stock of what had happened.
There was a tiny café on the corner of the road and she took herself inside to hide from the crowds and the day and the pure confusion of it all. She bought a bottle of water and asked for a cup of coffee. The table in the corner gave her a view of the window and the street outside but she felt hidden in the angle of the walls.
The Grave Page 16