by John Marrs
‘And, up until she attacked you,’ Tim said, ‘did you feel normal with me?’
Ellie blushed. ‘Yes, I did.’
‘I know you’re one of the eight per cent who haven’t felt that lightning bolt yet, but just for the record, I’m already there.’
Ellie’s cheeks went a deeper shade of red and she tried to prevent a huge smile from spreading across her face.
‘Andrei, would you mind looking away for a moment?’ Tim asked, then turned his head to kiss Ellie.
For the first time since they met, an overwhelming wave of euphoria began to charge its way through her veins like an electrical current.
Chapter 46
MANDY
After three nights with little to no sleep, Mandy had stopped off at Tesco on her way home from work and picked up some over-the-counter sleeping tablets.
She hoped that a solid night’s sleep might offer her some perspective on Pat’s unexpected and remarkable offer to carry Richard’s baby. Instead, the pills left her feeling sluggish and unable to think clearly the next morning.
Regardless, she went through the motions. She crawled out of bed when her 7am alarm went off and dragged her weary bones into the shower. Then, with a generous application of foundation and under-eye cream to make herself look less zombie and more office worker, she set off for work.
Mandy had started work as a team leader for an energy supplier’s telesales division four years ago and she hadn’t treated it as anything other than a job, and certainly not a career. Lately, she was finding it an increasing struggle to gather the motivation to turn up for work each day. In fact, after ‘meeting’ Richard, she struggled to put her broken heart into anything anymore. Her work, her family and her social life were all suffering and today, instead of trawling through spreadsheets of data, she’d been staring blankly at her booth’s front partition wall.
Barely a couple of hours would pass without Mandy feeling the need to look at the photos of Richard she had on her phone, picturing herself in another life, travelling the world with him, marrying him and beginning her much-craved family together. She’d even forwarded the footage of him masturbating to her own phone. Now it was in her possession and she could pretend he’d made it only for her.
She asked herself what Richard would do if he were in her position, working in a job he hated with no light at the end of the tunnel. He’d just leave, she thought to herself. He’d pack up his bags and go travelling, in search of a bigger and better adventure. But Mandy didn’t have the guts to simply quit her job, although, of course, his mother had offered her the opportunity to go on a very different adventure. Her mention of Richard’s frozen sperm had come out of the blue and opened up a whole new potential path – if she dared.
‘Don’t answer straight away,’ Pat had advised her on the hillside. ‘Take your time to think about it and what it would mean to you to have his baby. Talk it over with your family, but no matter what they say, remember that you’ll always have Chloe and me on your side. We are your family too now.’
Having a child with a man who truly loved her was all that Mandy had ever wanted and, until recently, it hadn’t seemed possible. Even though they’d never had the opportunity to meet, she knew how she felt about him based only on being around the remnants of his life. Was that enough of a foundation to have his child? Of course it wasn’t. The rational side of Mandy’s brain knew what she should do. How would she ever explain to her mum and sisters she was pregnant with the child of a dead man she’d never met? Is this really how she wanted to become a mother? What would her child think when it became old enough to understand? Could she do it alone?
Could she do it? She was certainly tempted.
‘Mandy, can I have a word?’ The voice startled her. She turned to see her line manager, Charlie, a young man that she suspected was barely out of his teens but had the ability to patronise as well as any man double his age. She followed him into a large Perspex cube where a desk with three chairs sat next to a whiteboard. He beckoned her to take a seat and shuffled some papers he was holding.
‘I’ve been looking at your team’s figures, Mandy, and, if I’m honest, they’ve been slipping.’ He stroked his bum-fluff goatee to emphasise his disappointment. ‘Over the last two months, we’ve seen a consistent drop in leads from you guys and, as a result, sales have stalled. Is there anything you’d like to tell me?’
Like what? she asked herself. Like the love of my life is dead and I’m considering having his baby?
‘No,’ she replied instead. ‘I have a few personal issues I’m dealing with at the moment. I’m sorry if it’s affected my work.’
‘It has, it has,’ Charlie said. ‘The thing is, Mandy, I’ve been looking at your file, and I see that you could have a potentially lengthy career here. If you keep your head down and work harder, get these figures back on track, there’s no reason why this should hold you back. Why, you could even be promoted by this time next year. I mean, you’re quite a bit older than the other girls here and your documents say you have no husband or family to speak of. You might as well have something to aim for, mightn’t you?’
Charlie looked at her with an encouraging expression. Clearly he expected her to feel motivated by his words and didn’t realise how inappropriate his comments were. Mandy stared back at him in disbelief. What Charlie didn’t know was that he’d inadvertently just made up Mandy’s mind for her, as well as providing an escape route.
‘Thank you, you patronising little prick,’ Mandy said as she rose to her feet. ‘You have definitely given me something to aim for. And it’s not going to come cheap.’
‘What I mean, what I was trying to say was …’ Charlie began to backtrack but Mandy wasn’t prepared to listen. Instead, she stormed out of the room, and headed down the corridor in the direction of the HR department.
Within two hours she had negotiated a generous voluntary redundancy package, including a bonus on the provision she wouldn’t take Charlie’s sexism or intrusion into her private life to an industrial tribunal. Then, after walking down five flights of stairs, out of the building’s revolving doors and towards her car, she pulled her mobile from her pocket.
‘Hi Pat, it’s Mandy,’ she began, trying to contain her excitement. ‘Yes, I want to do it. I want to have Richard’s baby.’
Chapter 47
CHRISTOPHER
‘Are you ready?’ Amy shouted up the stairs to Christopher.
‘Yes, just give me a moment,’ he replied from his office, where he was looking at the chart on his computer screen to double check where Number Thirteen was. He was happy to find that she’d stuck to her schedule and was exactly where she was supposed to be. He liked it when they were creatures of habit, as it made his job that much easier.
Faceless contacts and downloadable programmes and software buried deep on the dark net provided him with the means to learn everything he needed to know about the women he targeted and more, and it all began with a mobile phone number. That would lead to a name, age, address, occupation, medical history and employment records. He could determine almost anything from their blood types to what they’d last purchased on eBay. Their lives were no longer their own to live and Christopher would be the one to determine how much time they had left.
Early on, he was aware secrecy and anonymity would be the key to his success. On the off-chance Amy might use his computer without asking, she’d only have access to a guest profile he had set up in her name. His own profile had a password cipher programme he’d been assured would take months to crack by even some of the most experienced individuals.
A virtual private network made sure that Christopher’s IP number, his computer’s unique identifier, was buried at all times. He ran all his online data via an encrypted virtual tunnel that stopped all websites from tracking his online activity. Each email he sent and received went through a programme that encrypted and decrypted, and he used unlimited aliases and disposable addresses to register with UFlirt, the only
app installed on each of his dozens of phones.
It was the Tor network that allowed him to access the deep web, where millions of websites and pages were created anonymously and individuals communicated privately. Even for Christopher, it was an eye opener as anything from drugs to firearms and paedophile pornography were available to purchase for the right price. It was there where he’d bought a job lot of smart phones for a fraction of British prices using darkcoins, a more discreet version of bitcoins. Then he had the phones couriered from somewhere in Eastern Europe to a PO Box he’d set up in London.
‘Chris!’ Amy shouted again. ‘Come on, we’re going to be late!’ He narrowed his eyes; he loathed the abbreviation of his name, but she was using it more and more.
By the time the couple found a parking space two streets away from the restaurant in Bow, they were ten minutes late. And while not being on time for an allotted appointment often made Christopher irritable, it didn’t matter so much if Amy was with him.
‘This menu looks lovely,’ she said, flicking through the pages of the leather-bound book. She smiled at Christopher and he felt his stomach perform somersaults. He smiled back at her and meant it.
‘It earned superb reviews in the Guardian’s Weekend magazine,’ Christopher replied. ‘That’s why I suggested it.’
He began to feel anxious and his muscles were tense, but he disguised it from Amy. Tonight was going to be the most important night of their relationship and he’d managed to keep his preparations under the radar. He had booked the right table in exactly the right spot and now all he had to do was to wait for that special moment.
As they glanced over the list of traditional British foods with a modern twist, their waitress appeared with bottled water and glasses.
‘What would you recommend?’ Christopher asked politely. His mouth was dry so he took a large gulp of his water. He wasn’t listening when she read from the specials board, although he picked up on something about a toad in the hole with chilli spiced sausages and ham hock soup. He was more interested in focusing on the silver hoop in her pierced septum and how much pain she’d be in if he ripped it out.
He liked the way a dimple appeared when the waitress laughed, as Amy made a joke about a courgette dish with a name prone to innuendo, and how she tucked her short, dark hair behind her ears and cocked her head to one side like a dog as she listened.
It was the first time Christopher had ever permitted his two worlds to collide. The light with the dark, the sun with the shade, his girlfriend with Number Thirteen.
Chapter 48
JADE
Jade could pinpoint the exact moment the touch paper caught light and the fireworks began to explode throughout her body.
She was making her way towards her rental car to head into town and pick up some groceries when, through the bedroom window, she spotted Kevin being helped to dress. Without warning, it was as if the floor had given way beneath her and she felt herself falling. She struggled to catch her breath and her body felt as light as a feather. She wasn’t sure when she landed. The only thing she could be certain of was that time had frozen and the only two people in the world who mattered were the two of them.
There had been times when they’d been around each other that she’d felt occasional jabs and twitches, but she hadn’t been certain what they meant. Now that she’d felt the full blast of it she knew exactly what they were, and thinking back she could see what was going on. It was as if as soon as she let down her guard and began living in the moment the sensations became more frequent. She also began to feel other unusual reactions around him. But this … well, this was something she had only ever read about.
As she watched them make their way out of Kevin’s room, through the house and into the courtyard, their eyes locked on to each other and she knew that she’d been hit by a lightning bolt. It had taken much longer than she had anticipated, but then again, they were in exceptional circumstances. But now a deeper connection had been made between them. It wasn’t just a crush, she wasn’t feeling sorry for him and it wasn’t because of Kevin’s illness. It was bigger than that, and wasn’t something that was going to burn out after he did. It was love in its purest form – and it scared her to death.
‘Are you OK?’ Kevin asked.
‘Of course,’ Jade replied. ‘Why?’
‘You’re looking a bit flushed.’
Jade smiled but found it hard to maintain eye contact. Because it was Kevin she was supposed to have fallen in love with, not the man who was escorting him: Mark.
Chapter 49
NICK
Everything Nick assumed he knew about love, from his first schoolboy crush on Britney Spears to Sally, the only woman he’d ever asked to marry him, was wrong. What he had felt for them, plus the numerous other girlfriends he’d dated over the years, was nothing compared to how he felt when he was in the presence of Alex.
Nick’s life might have been enviable to some. He lived with a woman he adored in an apartment with ever-growing equity, and had a job he loved, which was compatible with his creative ability. He had friends he enjoyed spending time with and parents and a brother who, although he didn’t see them too often, stayed in regular contact and were supportive of him. All in all, there was much to be grateful for.
It was only now, with Alex hovering in the periphery of his life – though arguably, also in the very centre of it – that he knew he’d simply been content. And with each moment spent in Alex’s company, Nick was aware that contentment was no longer enough to satisfy him.
In the days and weeks that followed their first meeting, their friendship escalated and they found each other’s company intoxicating. They grabbed every available opportunity to spend time together, from meeting for lunch to walking with each other to the tram station after work. They chatted like old friends about their schooldays, spent on opposite sides of the world, and the ambitions they had yet to fulfil. And at times, it was simply enough just to be with each other without needing to say a word.
Alex spoke candidly about his father’s battle with dementia and how his medication was keeping him on an even keel. However, his mother had warned it was a temporary measure and it wouldn’t be long before they’d lose him to the disease. And that was the very reason that their relationship was destined to remain temporary, because Alex and his girlfriend’s flights to New Zealand were booked for six weeks’ time.
Along with their girlfriends, Alex’s imminent departure was the second subject the two didn’t refer to often. Each time the elephant tried to barge its way back into the room, they’d fix another padlock to the door. And both of them could feel the hinges creaking under the elephant’s weight.
‘What the hell? How can you suddenly be a gay?’ Deepak exclaimed.
‘I’m not.’
‘Well, bisexual then.’
‘Again, I’m not and that’s the point and that’s why my head is screwed.’ Nick sighed and held his face in his hands as Deepak opened the top off yet another bottle of beer and handed it to him. ‘You can’t tell Sumaira any of this, by the way; you know what she’s like. She’ll be straight on to Sally and I’m not ready to have that conversation yet.’
‘Of course I won’t.’ Deepak reassured him. ‘I don’t tell her everything. But when you say “yet” do you mean you’re thinking of leaving Sal?’
‘What? No, of course not. We’re getting married in a few months, how can I?’
‘Mate, you can’t really marry her if your heart isn’t in it. You two won’t stand a cat in hell’s chance.’
‘But it is. I swear to God, I love that girl. It’s just that what Alex and I have is … different.’
‘Different how?’
‘You must know what I mean: you and Sumaira have been Matched, haven’t you?’
Deepak nodded, though there was something in his expression that didn’t reach his eyes.
‘It’s that feeling you don’t get when you’re around anyone else, like nobody in the world matt
ers when you’re in their company. Like you and them are this one, solitary … thing … And no matter what crap the world throws at you, you can get through it because you have them on your side.’
Nick took a long swig from his bottle and placed it on a coaster on the table.
‘You’re stuck in a shit storm, dude,’ Deepak said. ‘I don’t know why you’re fighting it, though. If he’s your Match, don’t you owe it to yourself to follow it through?’
‘I don’t want to cheat on my girlfriend.’
‘You already are, mate. And it’s not as bad a thing as you’re making out. Sometimes you’ve got to put yourself first and go with the flow. You know she’d do the same if she found her Match.’
‘You think?’
‘Of course. It’s ingrained in everyone, isn’t it? Everyone wants to cheat, but it’s whether you’ve got a good enough reason to do it.’
Nick had often suspected his friend hadn’t always been the most monogamous of husbands, but he left it at that.
‘Anyway, enough about me, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about? You said you had some news.’
‘Oh, it can wait until another time.’
‘No, tell me. I could do with something to take my mind off my own problems,’ Nick pressed.