chasing honor
the next generation #2
Riley Edwards
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Copyright © 2018 by Riley Edwards
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Cover design: Lori Jackson Designs
Written by: Riley Edwards
Published by: Riley Edwards
Edited by: Eve Arroyo
Chasing Honor
First edition – October 2018
Copyright © 2018 Riley Edwards
All rights reserved
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Unbroken - A second chance at love story
Five years after my husband's brutal murder, I am still trying to piece my life back together. A series of disastrous events sends, not only my life but my son's life into peril. With everything spiraling out of control, and our safety on the line, I have no choice but to ask my longtime friend, Reid for help. I realize my mistake too late. Reid is all in, and is taking over my life completely. He looks at me like a woman, not a widow or a mother. He makes we wish for things I know I shouldn't have. Just when he opens my eyes to the world around me, and I see the man that has been standing right in front of me all these years - it's too late. One kiss is all I am allowed before my life takes another painful twist and all thoughts of happiness are torn from my reach.
Acknowledgments
With each book this section gets longer and longer. And as I sat down to thank everyone that has helped make this book possible I realized how truly blessed I am. Cindy, Chriss the three of you fucking rock! Seriously, you read everything I throw your way and you make it better. Gratitude!
Kendall, Faith and Chris: My threesome. My rocks. My morning coffee friends and the last box I check before I go to bed. Thank you for your friendship. I hope you all know how much I love you.
Ellie Masters: Who would’ve thought, right? You popped my take over cherry and from there a true and deep friendship has developed. You inspire me every day. You are by and far the hardest working person I know. You put your heart and soul into everything you do and never let anything stop you. Both you and JET are so fucking rad. Love you both. Here’s to silver-linings – cheers.
To all of you – the readers: Thank you for picking up this book and giving me a few hours of your time. Whether this is the first book you’ve read or you’ve been with me from the beginning, thank you for your support. It is because of you I have the coolest job in the world.
To my family - my team – my tribe.
This is for you.
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Epilogue
Riley’s Rebels
Also by Riley Edwards
About the Author
Prologue
“I’m pregnant.”
“What?” I rolled to my side to get a better look at Chrissy. The full moon providing enough light I could make out her pretty features. I brushed her after-sex, messy hair from her face and noticed she was crying. “But we always use protection.”
She shivered, and I pulled the sleeping bag over her chilled skin.
“I don’t know, Ethan. It had to have broken, or you didn’t put it on right. I’ve missed three periods; I took a test a few days ago.”
A thousand thoughts sprinted through my mind. This couldn’t be happening. I was sixteen. We couldn’t have a baby. Fuck. My parents were going to kill me, but I had to make this right.
“Marry me,” I blurted.
“Why?” Her eyes widened in shock.
“We’ll get married, and I’ll take care of you and the baby. Everything will be okay, Chrissy. I promise.”
“I’ve already talked to my parents. I’ll finish out the last month of school then move to Arizona with my aunt before I’m showing. They talked to an adoption agency out there. All you need to do is sign the paperwork.”
I rolled to my back and looked up at the tiny, sparkling lights in the midnight sky. I should’ve been happy, Chrissy and her parents had everything planned. She’d move, have the baby, and the problem would be taken care of.
Baby. My baby—not a fucking problem.
I should’ve felt relief but I didn’t. I was pissed at the universe for stealing my youth and dreams and angry at her that she’d give my baby away.
Fuck.
Maybe my cousin Nick’s backyard barbeque wasn’t the best place to have this conversation with my parents, but I couldn’t keep my secret any longer. Every morning for the past week my mom had been waiting, like always, in the kitchen with breakfast ready—she’d kissed both my brother, Carter, and me on the cheek before she sent us off to school with a smile. She wouldn’t have been smiling if she’d known what I’d done.
Sometime after dinner and before he and my mom went to bed, my dad would come into my room to ask how my day had been, how baseball practice was going, my grades, my friends, how Chrissy was. I’d been living a lie and I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t listen to my dad tell me how proud he was of me one more time.
Fuck. My mom was going to cry. I hated seeing her sad, thankfully it didn’t happen often. Dad had taught Carter and me from as far back as I could remember we needed to take care of Mom. All the women in our lives, in fact. That included our aunts and cousins. It was those lessons that had led me to my decision.
“Mom. Dad. Can I talk to you a minute?”
My mom looked up and frowned.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
That was another thing about my mom, she always knew when one of her boys was in trouble. Goddamn, how could I have been so stupid? She was going to be crushed. I could take my father’s anger—I deserved it, but I didn’t think I’d survive my mom’s disappointment.
I almost said never mind and chickened out until my dad spoke.
“Fuck,” he muttered.
I’d always been unable to hide my discomfort from my father. It wasn’t often I screwed up; I was a straight-A student and excelled at sports. My parents had instilled in me to always be respectful; my coaches and teachers loved me. So did the cheerleaders, and that was how my current problem started. “As long as no one’s knocked up, we can fix anything.”
“Lenox.” My mother slapped his shoulder.
I tried to keep my face blank and stop the flinch, but it was too late. My father saw it.
“Shit,” he mumbled and leveled me with one of his famous “you’ve fucked up now” st
ares. “Chrissy?”
I nodded, and my mom looked between my dad and me.
“Wait. What? Are you serious?” my mom asked.
I still couldn’t speak, so once again I nodded.
“Goddamn it, Ethan,” Dad growled. “Follow me.” The three of us walked inside, and my dad pointed to the couch. “Sit.”
For the first time in my life I defied my father’s wishes. “I think I’d rather stand if you don’t mind.”
“How did this happen?” Mom asked.
Dad looked at her with his eyebrow raised. “Seriously, Lily?”
“You know what I mean. We’ve taught you to be safe.”
“We were. The condom broke.” Shit it was embarrassing talking about my sex life with my parents. They knew I was sexually active. They’d always been open and honest with both Carter and me. Mom always stocked the bathroom with condoms, and Dad had talked to us a million times about how to treat girls. But talking about it in the abstract was far different than talking about Chrissy and me doing it.
“What are you going to do?” Dad asked.
I sucked in a breath and stood tall, trying to convey to them something I wasn’t—confident.
“I’m keeping the baby.”
“You are?” Confusion laced my mom’s question. “What about Chrissy?”
“She and her parents talked it over and they’ve decided to put the baby up for adoption. I’ve thought about it and I won’t sign the paperwork. She can give it up, and I’ll take the baby. I’ll raise my child without her.”
“Son,” Dad started. “You’re sixteen. I think we need to sit down and weigh the options before you make a life changing decision based on emotion rather than logic.”
“Would you have given away either of your children?”
“Fuck no,” he answered.
“Then how could you ask me to give away mine?”
“We weren’t sixteen, Ethan. We were adults when your mom got pregnant with Carter.”
“But if it’d happened when she was sixteen, would you have then?”
My dad’s face turned red, and I knew I had him. He didn’t need to answer, I knew he would’ve never entertained the idea of his child being given up for adoption.
“Ethan,” Mom whispered, the tears I’d dreaded brimming in her eyes. “Your dad and I want what’s best for you. Taking care of a baby is hard work. Being a parent is forever. I don’t think you understand how hard it will be to do it alone.”
I looked at the two people I loved most in the world, shock, disappointment, and anger shone in their eyes. My stomach twisted knowing I’d done that to them.
“I know you’re both worried for me. I know you’re disappointed and pissed. I hope one day you’ll both forgive me, because I know I can’t do this alone—I’ll need both of you. I may only be sixteen, but dad has shown me every day what it is to be a good dad, a good man. This is my child. Mine. I will not give up on it before he or she is even born. You’ve both taught me better than that. I’m taking responsibility. Chrissy and her parents have made their choice, and I’ve made mine. This baby is a Lenox and will be raised as one.”
“You’re finishing school,” my mom instructed. “When Carter leaves in a few months for the Naval Academy, we’ll move you into his room in the basement. There’s enough space down there for you and the baby. I’ll get together with your aunts and we’ll get it baby proofed and ready.”
“Thank you,” I choked out.
“Lily, give me a minute alone with Ethan.”
My mom closed the short distance between us and pulled me into a hug, rolling up on her toes she kissed my cheek.
“I love you, Ethan.”
“I love you, Mama.”
My dad waited for my mom to leave the room, and I braced for his ire. He’d kept himself in check in front of my mom, but I saw the blast coming.
“Fucking hell, Ethan.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“A little late for sorry, don’t you think?” I didn’t answer, not that he was expecting me to. “You have no idea what it means to be a parent. The sacrifice, the sleepless nights, the fucking worry your kid is gonna pull some stupid shit.” He stopped and shook his head. “Think long and hard about this. Once you do it, there’s no going back, ever.”
“I have thought about it.”
“No, son, I don’t think you have. I think you were so wrapped up in working your way through all the available cheerleaders you never stopped to think about shit.”
“You’re right, Dad. I hadn’t thought about it then. But I’ve thought of nothing else since Chrissy told me. It’s all I can think about. I’ve thought about how I’d feel knowing my kid was out there somewhere being raised by strangers. I can’t do it, you might as well rip my fucking heart from my chest, Dad. I can’t breathe thinking I’ll have a child I’ll never know or hold or watch grow up. Adoption is not an option for me. Then, I thought about how you and Mom and Carter would look at me knowing I didn’t have the balls to stand up and be a man.”
“Christ, you don’t make this easy.” My dad’s face twisted, and he offered me his hand. I cautiously took it, and he tugged my arm, making me stumble forward. “Welcome to fatherhood, son. I’m still pissed the fuck off, but I couldn’t be prouder of you.”
“You’re doing great, Chrissy,” I told her.
“I’m too tired,” she whined.
“Almost there. The doctor said one more push and you’d be done.”
It hadn’t taken one more push, it had been closer to ten more. Mr. and Mrs. Krier, Chrissy’s parents, were in the waiting room along with my family, making it hard to concentrate on Chrissy. Things were tense between our families, although both sides had tried to keep interactions as respectful as they could. The Krier’s had sold their house in Georgia and were moving to Arizona for a fresh start. I was still in shock Chrissy was really going through with signing over her parental rights to me. I’d been holding onto some sort of stupid hope she’d want to be a part of our baby’s life. But she’d refused. She was completely disconnected from the baby. Even at the ultrasound she wouldn’t look at the monitor. I didn’t understand how she could do this. It took everything inside of me to stop myself from yelling at her and telling her how hurt and angry I was.
“It’s a girl,” the doctor announced. “Ethan, would you like to cut the cord?”
I pried my hand from Chrissy’s hulk-like grip and took the surgical scissors from the nurse. I barely remembered cutting the cord, my daughter’s tiny body holding my attention.
I had a daughter.
I was a dad.
She was so small and screaming her slime-covered head off.
“Should she be crying like that?” I asked.
“She’s exercising her lungs,” the nurse smiled and took my daughter from the doctor, walking over to the scale where she weighed her and measured her length before placing her in the prepared bassinet. “Would you like to put on your first diaper?”
“Yes.” I stepped forward and waited for the nurse to clean her off with a washcloth. When she was finished she moved to the side, allowing me to touch her for the first time.
I had no clue what I was doing, and the nurse took pity on me.
“You won’t hurt her, just be careful not to cover the cord clamp with the diaper. You’re doing great. Roll down the top of the diaper and fasten it.” I did as instructed, and next the nurse taught me how to properly swaddle her, explaining that babies like to be “snug as a bug in a rug.” “You can pick her up now.”
I must’ve looked as stupid as I felt, and the she laughed. “Go on, Ethan. Just pick her up, support her neck and hold her close to you so she can feel you. You can talk to her too you know.”
“Hey, baby,” I whispered after I had her situated in my arms. “I’m your daddy.” I kissed the top of my daughter’s head and, for the first time in a long time, I felt tears rolling down my cheeks.
If someone would’ve told me an hour befo
re I could love something so much, so thoroughly and completely in the matter of seconds I would’ve laughed. But holding my baby girl for the first time, I knew I’d never loved someone so much.
I walked back to Chrissy’s side, the doctor had taken her legs down, and she was covered with a blanket, her face turned away from me.
“Chrissy? Would you like to hold her?”
“No.” Her voice was flat, and she refused to look at us.
“You sure?” I tried again.
“No, Ethan. She’s yours, just take her away. Please.” She sounded dead inside, and, for the first time since it all started, I realized how hard this was on her. She wasn’t ready to be a mom, but she’d quelled her own feelings to give our child life. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, that was what being a mom was, loving and sacrificing for your child.
Careful to balance the baby in my arms I leaned down and kissed the side of Chrissy’s head.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “Thank you so much for her. Take care of yourself.”
The nurse was waiting by the door with a wheelchair. Hospital rules said I couldn’t walk out of the room with the baby. The staff knew our situation and had arranged for the baby and me to leave the room as soon as possible, moving us down the hall to a private room as far away from the Kriers as they could.
“Does she have a name?” the nurse asked.
“She does.”
“You’re not gonna tell me?” She laughed teasingly.
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