by Isabel Wolff
‘Oh, Rose,’ I said. ‘You’ve messed up.’ I felt as derelict as a condemned building, waiting for the crunch of the wrecking ball. And tonight I had to go and do my phone-in: I felt so bad—I couldn’t be on my own. I had to talk to someone. I just had to. I glanced at my watch. It was twenty to seven. Bev would be back, she wouldn’t mind. I’d chat to her until I had to go to the radio station, that’s what I’d do. I got up, and went down into the bathroom, and washed my face, noticing a thread of Theo’s hair in the sink. I opened the medicine cabinet and saw that the top shelf was stripped of his things. My toothbrush was standing there solitary and forlorn; my towel the only one on the rail. I went downstairs, picked up my keys and went next door. I rang the bell, and there was Trevor. He wagged his tail.
‘Hi, Trev,’ I said, as he let me in. I followed him down the hallway, his claws clicking on the new parquet, and called out ‘Hi, Bev! It’s only me. I’ve just come round for a chat and to say I’m really sorry about not coming into work today but you see—’ I stopped. ‘Oh!’ I exclaimed softly. ‘Er, hello,’ I said uncertainly. I felt my face flush.
‘Hello, Rose,’ Henry replied.
Chapter 23
I laughed to cover my surprise—and my embarrassment. Henry stepped forward and kissed me on the cheek. ‘Henry,’ I exclaimed, wonderingly. ‘Er, what are you—?’ I stopped myself just in time. And then, as I looked from one to the other, I saw. Beverley’s face was shining with happiness. It was obvious.
‘We’re just having a drink before supper,’ Bev said. ‘Would you like to join us? Henry, darling, would you get Rose a large G and T—I think she’s had a really bad day.’ As Trevor got the gin out of the drinks cupboard, Henry got the tonic out of the fridge.
‘Well,’ I exclaimed softly. I smiled, then shrugged. ‘Why on earth didn’t you tell me?’ I asked as Henry got down a glass tumbler. Beverley blushed.
‘Well, for all sorts of reasons,’ she began, ‘not least because we didn’t know for sure ourselves until quite recently.’
‘Which was when?’
‘Do you really want to know?’
‘Yes. If you want to tell me.’
‘At the twins’ party.’
‘Really?’ I cast my mind back. I didn’t remember seeing Henry talking to Beverley at all that night.
‘That was when it got going,’ Beverley explained. ‘When I got home afterwards I took off Trevor’s coat, and found Henry’s business card in the pocket. He must have slipped it inside as he left.’
‘That’s exactly what I did.’
‘And he’d scribbled “call me!” on the back of it, and so the next day, I did. And we met for lunch, didn’t we?’ They smiled at each other. ‘And then we met a couple of times after that…’
‘But then I had to go to the Gulf.’
‘But we wrote, and we spoke on the phone.’
I suddenly remembered Bev getting a call on her mobile at the Dogs of Distinction award. That must have been Henry I now saw. Yes, of course it was, because I’d heard her comment on the fact that he was somewhere ‘hot’.
‘Gosh,’ I said, smiling, ‘so when did it first…?’
‘Start?’ asked Bev. I nodded. ‘At the ball,’ Henry explained as he dropped some ice into my drink. ‘I took one look at Beverley and I thought, what a fantastic girl. In your lovely ballerina costume,’ he added, stroking her hand. And now I suddenly remembered Henry lifting her out of her wheelchair and whirling her round, her face radiant with laughter. Of course. ‘But then Bea was flirting with me like mad,’ he added as he handed me the glass. ‘And then she asked me out a few times.’
‘And I knew about that from you, Rose,’ said Bev. ‘So I couldn’t confide to you that I liked Henry because I was worried that you might tell her. And also, from what you said, I believed that she and Henry were getting on like a house on fire.’
‘Well I thought they were,’ I said, as Henry smiled and rolled his eyes. ‘So that’s why you seemed not to like Bea much, is that right, Bev?’
‘Yes. I was as jealous as hell. And then you asked me to help her in the shop, and I couldn’t very well say “no,” but I didn’t really want to do it. But I’m so glad I did because that’s how I met Henry again. He came in one day to take her out to lunch. And I was sitting there, looking at him out of the corner of my eye, feeling awful. But while she was downstairs getting her coat I was amazed to find that Henry was being very, well, attentive to me, weren’t you?’
He smiled. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I was. I pretended I was interested in Trevor,’ he explained. ‘Not that I’m not,’ he added with a laugh.
‘You were very attentive,’ Bev repeated. ‘Slightly flirtatious even—I was surprised, and quietly thrilled.’
‘But I was too embarrassed to say anything,’ said Henry. ‘And I didn’t want to hurt Bea. So I had to end that—and I’m not very brave in that way so it took me quite a long time.’ So there really had been ‘another woman’ I realised. ‘And then of course I didn’t know whether or not Beverley even liked me,’ he continued.
‘I was nuts about you!’ she laughed.
‘But I couldn’t have known that because I thought you liked Theo,’ he went on.
‘Well that’s what I thought,’ I said. ‘I thought you and Theo clicked at the ball, Bev. And when I danced with him you seemed to be giving me a rather peculiar look.’
‘But, Rose, I wasn’t even looking at you. I was looking at Henry. He was dancing cheek to cheek with Bea, and I felt dreadful.’
I cast my mind back to that night. ‘I see.’ I glanced at Bea’s noticeboard, and saw the Valentine card pinned to it. ‘And I thought that was from Theo as well,’ I said pointing at it. She shook her head.
‘It was from me,’ said Henry. ‘I knew that Beverley was your next-door neighbour, so it was easy to work out the address. But I didn’t have the courage to tell you that I liked her. I did try once or twice, but every time I’d start, you’d immediately tell me how well Beverley was getting on with Theo.’
‘Well I thought they were. And I kept on thinking that, Bev, because you seemed to spend time with him.’
‘Well, he’d come round, and we’d chat. I found him very sympathetic and good fun, and he’d help me do a few things in the house.’
‘But he called you “Pet” and you called him “Sweetie”.’
‘Oh that was just for a laugh! You didn’t take that at face value, did you, Rose?’
‘Well, yes actually—I did.’
‘Then you should have read between the lines. It’s easy to flirt with someone if neither of you are really interested. It’s much harder to flirt with someone you like. In any case, Rose, I didn’t fall for Theo, because I’d already fallen for Henry.’ Henry smiled.
‘But hang on, what about that Scottish bloke—Hamish?’ I asked. ‘The one Trevor kept mentioning in his column?’
‘Well,’ she laughed gently, ‘he was a red herring.’
‘Doesn’t he exist?’
‘Oh yes—he does. He’s an old friend of mine, and we have seen each other a few times lately as he’s been rehearsing in London, so that was all perfectly true. But I just wanted to put people off the scent about Henry, because by then, I was hooked. But we were worried that Bea would be hurt if she knew, so that’s why I couldn’t tell you, and so I pretended that it was Hamish I was keen on. But I did tell Theo the truth, though I swore him to secrecy.’ Ah.
‘Well he never said a thing to me.’
‘No, he wouldn’t have done. He’s very discreet.’
And now I remembered that entry in his diary.Henry is clearly very keen on Bea. Except I now saw that with Theo’s awful handwriting, it wasn’t ‘Bea,’ he’d written, but ‘Bev’. Henry is clearly very keen on Bev. Theo had seen it, that night, at the ball, where I’d completely missed it. My head was beginning to swim.
‘And in any case,’ Beverley added, ‘Henry and I didn’t know ourselves whether or not our romance would develop,
did we darling, so we both thought it best to keep quiet.’
‘So it was never Theo,’ I said.
‘Never.’
‘Well I got that wrong then.’
‘You did. And in any case, Rose, I could see—and he eventually told me this himself—that Theo really liked you. But you didn’t seem to realise it.’
‘No,’ I said bitterly, ‘I didn’t.’
‘You didn’t read between the lines.’ People keep saying that to me today.
‘It’s true.’ I emitted a mirthless laugh. ‘I didn’t read between the lines.’
‘Rose, you do sometimes miss things,’ said Bev gently. ‘Quite big things, actually.’
I looked at her. ‘That’s just what Theo said. But you see I’d never imagined he’d be interested in me as he’s ten years younger.’
‘Why not? His wife’s thirty-eight.’
‘But I didn’t know that for quite a while; so although, yes, I found him attractive, I always assumed he’d go for someone his own age. I know you’re six years older as well, Bev, but I thought ten would be pushing it a bit.’
‘Not really,’ she shrugged. ‘His twenty-nine to your thirty-nine hardly makes you Mrs Robinson, does it? You’re both grown-ups.’
‘Hmm. That’s true. But I’d never been out with a younger man. Why didn’t you tell me that he liked me?’ I added. ‘It would have my life a lot easier.’
‘Well I tried to hint at it, but you didn’t see. In any case you were still obsessing about Ed. And then you had enough on your plate with all that trouble with Electra and Serena; and then Ed was around so I didn’t want to encourage Theo about you, in case he got hurt again. He’s had his heartbreak as well, remember. But I did give him advice.’
‘Like what?’
‘I just told him to spend time with you. To be domestic with you. To teach you to cook, for example.’
‘He did teach me to cook.’
‘To watch telly and play games.’
‘We did.’
‘Because it’s by spending time with someone, doing the daily domestic things that you can often get very close. Proximity can draw people together.’
‘Hmm,’ I sighed. ‘I know. Gravity is the mutual attraction between every bit of matter in the universe,’ I went on softly. ‘And the closer the matter is, the stronger the attraction. That’s what Theo told me.’
‘It’s true.’
‘But it’s all gone horribly wrong. Theo’s just moved out, and oh God,’ I put my head in my hands—‘I went to bed with him today.’
‘You did?’
‘But then we quarrelled.’
‘Over what?’
‘Well, I’d left Ed just beforehand—over Jon’s letter—and Ed had accused me of being an agony aunt for the wrong reason.’
‘Really?’ said Beverley. ‘What did he say?’
I told her.
‘Ed said that?’
‘Yes. And I told Theo, and he agreed.’
‘I see,’ she said carefully.
‘Great timing, don’t you think?’
‘Well, Theo’s lovely, but he can be slightly tactless sometimes.’
‘You’re telling me!’
‘It’s just a bit of northern bluntness, that’s all.’
‘I know. But he really wounded me—so I told him to fuck off and never come back.’
‘Oh, Rose,’ Bev said.
‘I know. And he’d just completed on the flat so he said he was going to go today instead of tomorrow, and he has gone and oh, it’s a nightmare, Bev.’ The thought of his empty bedroom made my heart hurt. ‘And it’s my phone-in tonight, and I feel so wretched and I—What a day,’ I repeated, blankly as I sipped my drink. I shook my head. ‘What a day. The most extraordinary things have happened, and they’re still happening. I’ve got it together with Theo, and then we quarrelled and he’s left; and I’ve discovered that you two are together when I hadn’t a clue; and then there was that letter from Ed’s brother this morning—and my row with Ed—it’s all been too much. And now I’ve got to do my phone-in and sound coherent and take an interest in everyone else’s problems when I’ve got such huge issues of my own.’ At this I thought again of my mother, and of Mrs Wilson’s letter, and my eyes began to fill. And suddenly there were tears snaking down my cheeks, and my head had sunk onto my chest.
‘I’m sorry,’ I sobbed, ‘it’s the gin. It’s making me emotional.’
‘It isn’t the gin,’ said Bev.
‘No. You’re right. It isn’t the gin. It’s my life. It’s everything. Oh God, I feel wretched,’ I sobbed. ‘I’m sorry, you two. I’m glad you’re so happy, but I’m just feeling so bad.’
Suddenly I was aware of Trevor’s wet nose on my hand. He was trying to push something into my lap. I lifted my head. It was the phone.
‘It’s okay, Trev,’ said Bev gently. ‘Rose doesn’t need to call anyone right now. She’s got Henry and me.’ I looked into Trevor’s big, concerned-looking eyes, the colour of sweet sherry, and buried my face in his fur.
‘Oh, Trevor,’ I said, half laughing, half crying, ‘thank you! That’s so lovely of you.’ Beverley clicked the phone off then handed it back to him.
‘Okay, Trev, put it back. Good boy.’ I heard the click of his claws on the parquet as he trotted out into the hall. I looked at the clock, it was five to nine. My car would be coming at a quarter past. I stood up.
‘I’d better go.’
‘Will you be okay, Rose?’ said Henry.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I’ll be fine. Thanks for…everything. Well, what a turn-up,’ I said. ‘What a day. What other extraordinary revelations or happenings could there possibly be?’
‘Oh there won’t be anything more,’ said Beverley confidently. ‘Law of averages and all that.’
I went home. As I opened the door I was struck again by the emptiness of the house. It felt hollow, and so did I. It was as though someone had scooped out my insides with a large spoon and all that was left was my shell. As I shut the front door I saw that the answerphone was winking. My heart did a pole vault. Maybe it was Theo ringing to say that he was sorry that he’d hurt my feelings and that he’d like to see me and did I want to go round to the flat? My hand sprang to the button marked ‘Play.’ Oh for God’s sake! Not again! The bloody bastard harassing me with his beastly slow breathing. It went on for about ten seconds, and I was about to hit Stop and then Erase when I suddenly heard something else. The sound of sniffing. As though someone was crying. How weird.
It’s okay, Trev. That was Beverley! Rose doesn’t need to call anyone right now. What the hell? She’s got Henry and me.
Oh, Trevor, I heard myself say now. Thank you. That’s so lovely of you.
That was your. Last. Message, intoned the electronic voice. I stared at the machine. Then I played the message again. Then again. Then again. Then once more. And now, at last, I understood. I picked up the receiver and dialled.
‘Bev. It’s me. Listen, you have my number on speed dial don’t you?’
‘Yes I do. It’s on the first memory button actually.’
‘Ah,’ I said.
‘Why do you ask?’
‘Because I’ve just worked out who my heavy breather is.’
‘Really? Well you must call the police.’
‘No. I’m not going to do that.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because it’s Trevor.’
‘What?’
‘It’s Trev.’
‘What do you mean? Trevor would never make nuisance phone calls,’ she exclaimed indignantly.
‘Yes, I know. But he must have been accidentally biting the memory button sometimes when he went to pick up the phone.’
‘Oh…’ she said slowly. ‘Oh… Well…’—I heard her voice fade slightly—‘looking at it now I suppose he could be doing that, yes… But I wouldn’t have known because I just click it straight off.’
‘And that’s why I’ve been hearing heavy breathing,’ I said. ‘
And that’s why it was much worse the other day, because he had a cold. But just now I heard all our voices on it as well. But how the hell did Trevor manage to conceal the number every time?’
‘Because I have 141 pre-programmed in. It makes me feel safer knowing that my number can’t be traced.’
‘Ah,’ I said, faintly. ‘I see. Well, mystery solved, Bev. Thanks.’ As I put down the phone I thought again about the pattern of the calls, which I’d monitored closely, and now, suddenly, it all made sense. Trevor was very sensitive to weeping—I’d seen that myself, tonight—and he only brought Beverley the phone when he knew she was miserable. That’s why the calls were so random. And that’s why there had been fewer recently, because she’d clearly been happier, because Henry was back. And that’s why there’d been that odd clicking sound lately. Because Bev used to have carpet in the hall, but she’d just had that parquet put down. Here was yet another amazing revelation to add to all the day’s others. I’d discovered I’d been stalked by a dog.
I looked out of the window. The car was pulling up. I picked up my bag and went outside. My heart sank at the thought of having to do a phone-in. I wasn’t up to it tonight. We passed a sign for Stockwell and my heart turned over. I imagined Theo in his new flat. The address was seared on my memory—5 (a) Artemis Road—I’d seen it on the estate agents blurb. I imagined him unpacking boxes, and filling cupboards, and sorting stuff out. And I had a sudden fantasy that he’d be listening to the radio while he was doing it, and that he’d have it tuned to London FM. And he’d be so moved by the sound of my voice that he’d feel compelled to call in. And he’d be put through to me and ask me if I’d forgive him for his quite inappropriate frankness, and was I free for dinner tomorrow night? And I’d say, ‘Of course I’m free, Theo. I’m going to be free every night. Because I’ve finally worked out that you’re the one.’