by Holly Martin
She stood there staring at him for a moment. Her breathing was heavy then she put her fingers up to her mouth, as if remembering what it felt like. She ran her tongue across her lips, tasting his kiss, and in the light of the fire he saw her blue eyes darken with need.
She took a step back towards him but he met her halfway, gathering her in his arms. He wasn’t sure if she kissed him or he kissed her but they were kissing again and that’s all that mattered. Her hands slid up behind his neck, caressing his hair. He slipped his tongue inside her mouth, tasting her, and it sent a jolt of need and desire for her spiralling through his stomach. God, it hadn’t been like this the first time. It had been wonderful and sweet but this was so much more than that.
He lifted her against him so her feet were dangling off the ground and she didn’t even seem to notice. Without taking his lips from hers, he shuffled her back a bit and then gently lowered her to the blanket so he was on top of her. He wanted to stroke her and touch her but as he ran his hand down her side, he was met only with her thick coat and by the feel of it several other layers underneath that. With a desperate need for her, he moved to unzip her coat but she stopped him again. He cursed his lack of control. He had never meant for it to happen like this. He had wanted to give her a gentle kiss to see if she had any feelings for him at all, not pin her to the ground and kiss her like his life depended on it.
He pulled back slightly to apologise but she stroked his face, her touch on his skin stalling any words in his throat.
‘As much as I want to do this with you, and I really want to do this with you, there’s no way you’re taking any of my layers off here. Blue skin is really not an attractive feature.’
He laughed as he suddenly remembered where they were. She was right. The fire took the edge off the coldness of the night but there was still a noticeable nip in the air which they definitely would feel more once they started taking off clothes. It was probably for the best anyway. He wanted to take things slowly with her. He had no idea what her feelings were for him. She liked him, that much was clear, but was it more than that or just friendship and a need for sex?
She ran her thumb gently over his lips and he kissed it. ‘Shall we go home?’ she said.
So much was left unsaid with those words. What would happen when they got home, would it be more of this, would they make love?
He got to his feet and held out a hand to help her up. She took it and he pulled her up against him. He bent his head and kissed her again, just briefly.
‘I can’t believe this is happening, it’s like a dream come true,’ Eden said and then she frowned, the smile slipping off her face. She glanced up at the blowhole and then back at Dougie. What was she thinking? He quickly kissed her again before any more doubt or fear could creep in and, while she was hesitant at first, she soon melted into him.
‘Come on, let’s go,’ he said. He made a half-hearted attempt to kick sand over the fire, but it was already on its way out. He then stuffed everything in his bag, grabbed her hand and started climbing back up the rocks towards the cave.
‘What about the candles and the fairy lights?’ Eden protested.
‘I’ll come back for all the rest of it later, or I’ll ask the fairies to deliver them back to our house.’
Despite the wonderful tension of the moment he was relieved to hear Eden giggle at that.
They hurried back through the cave and when they got to the opening he gave her a leg-up and then pulled himself out into the meadow too. As soon as he was standing next to her he kissed her again, afraid that without the magical atmosphere he had created in Mistletoe Cove they would lose the magic between them too.
They hurried along the meadow holding hands and by the time they had made it back to the high street they were practically running flat out.
Eden fumbled for her key and opened the door to her cottage and as soon as they were inside he pinned her to the door and kissed her again. He unzipped her coat and let it slide off her shoulders onto the floor and she wrestled him out of his. He gently pulled off her woolly hat, letting her black curls tumble over her shoulders.
He kissed her for the longest time, then pulled back slightly, rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, just breathing her in.
‘What happens now?’ she asked.
He opened his eyes, not entirely sure how to answer that question. He knew what he wanted to happen but he had no idea if she wanted that.
‘How about I light a fire?’ Dougie said, playing for time. He felt so out of his depth with Eden. With every other woman he’d been with he’d known exactly what to say and do to charm them, exactly what move to make and when. He’d always had a natural affinity with women; growing up, he’d always preferred being friends with them and being nice to them than pulling their hair or being cool and aloof. For reasons he’d never know, women would flock round him. But Eden was so different to all of them.
‘That sounds good,’ Eden said. He kissed her briefly before stepping away from her. He didn’t want this bubble around them to burst and he sensed that soon it would. He moved over to the fireplace. ‘And then you can explain why you kissed me?’
He smiled. He could at least answer that. ‘Because I wanted to.’
‘Dougie!’
‘Eden.’ He mirrored her body language and her tone of voice.
‘Is this a game to you? Just another little joke to mock me?’
It was safe to say the bubble had burst. He should have just kept kissing her then they wouldn’t be having this discussion. They could both be half naked by now and then their actions would have done all the talking. He was also hurt that she thought he would do something like this just for a laugh. He knew that he had a reputation for never taking things seriously but he would never do anything to hurt her.
‘Definitely not a joke.’
‘So what was it then?’
‘You kissed me as well, honey, it wasn’t completely one-sided. Why did you kiss me?’ Dougie asked.
‘Because you kissed me?’
‘Is that how it works, anyone comes up to you and kisses you and you just kiss them back?’
God, this wasn’t how he imagined it at all.
‘You’re an ass,’ Eden said and turned to walk out the room but Dougie moved to stop her, snagging her around the waist.
‘Look, I’m not sure why we’re shouting at each other. We both clearly enjoyed the kiss, I was there, it got pretty heated for a while. Why don’t I light a fire and we can cuddle on the sofa and just carry on where we left off rather than ruining it with discussing the whys.’
Eden looked away and he caught her chin to get her to look at him, trying to read what was going on inside her head. ‘I would never do anything to hurt you.’
She stared at him for a moment and then shook her head. ‘I can’t do this.’
‘Why not? You seemed to be enjoying it on the beach.’
‘Because I have no idea what this is for you. Is this just another friendly kiss that we’ll never mention again after tonight? Is this kiss just because you haven’t been involved with anyone for a while and you’re feeling a bit sexually frustrated? Is this kiss because you feel sorry for me because I’ve been single for a while? Or is this kiss a prelude to something more? You say you won’t do anything to hurt me but you will. When you wake up tomorrow morning and regret the kiss and pretend that it never happened like you did last time, it will hurt. If you can’t tell me what this is, then I can’t do this. I need to protect myself.’
He sighed. She was right, he owed her an explanation. He felt sick. It was never meant to happen this way – he had never imagined it would happen at all – but a little over forty-eight hours after he had arrived on Hope Island, he was being forced to say something he’d never thought he’d say.
He swallowed. ‘You want to know why I kissed you? Because I love you.’
Chapter Twelve
Eden stared at him, hearing his words echo in the silence. The wo
rds she had been waiting over twelve years to hear, the words that she never imagined she would ever hear had just fallen from his lips, and she couldn’t think of one word to say in reply.
Tears formed in her eyes, emotion clogging in her throat.
He loved her.
Despite her best efforts the tears spilled over onto her cheeks.
‘Hey, don’t cry. God, that’s the last thing I want. If you don’t feel the same way, that’s OK, we can still be friends. Nothing has to change.’
He had no idea. And she couldn’t even find the words to tell him.
Dougie pulled her to the sofa and sat down and then tugged her onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and held her against him.
‘What’s wrong, tell me what’s wrong?’ he said, stroking her back.
Eden shook her head.
‘Something has upset you.’
She looked at him; he looked so concerned for her but she couldn’t tell him. He gently wiped her tears away, cupping her face with his hands.
‘I’ve told you why I kissed you. Why did you kiss me?’ Dougie asked softly.
Over twelve years she had been in love with this man and she had kept her feelings for him hidden, locked in her heart, being careful never to reveal how she felt for him. She was so used to keeping that part of her locked away that it was impossible for her to admit the truth even after he had bared his soul to her.
‘Because I wanted to,’ Eden answered, obtrusively.
Dougie let out a small sigh of frustration as he continued to stroke her face.
‘Well, would it be OK if I kissed you again?’
Eden didn’t hesitate this time. She nodded.
He smiled and slid his hand round the back of her neck and kissed her tenderly. This was so different to how it had been before. On the beach it had been passionate and needful but this was altogether sweeter.
He pulled back slightly. ‘Let’s go to bed.’
A soft gasp escaped her lips. God, she wanted that but she was also scared of it too.
‘We’re not going to do anything,’ Dougie reassured and she felt a kick of disappointment in her stomach. ‘But if I’m going to hold you in my arms while I fall asleep, like I did last night, I’d like to do so in the comfort of the bed again. This sofa is not great for sleeping on.’
She clambered off him and held out her hand. Taking it, he led her up the stairs and straight into his room.
He turned to face her, resting his hands on her shoulders. ‘I don’t want to push my luck as tonight has already far exceeded my expectations but can I undress you?’
Her heart was already beating so hard against her chest and at those words it broke into a gallop. She had never seen this side of Dougie before. He was normally so confident, funny and charming, but right now he was quiet, serious and seemed to be nervous and second-guessing his every move. She knew he had been with quite a few women in New York but she would never have imagined that someone as flirty and confident as Dougie would ever ask permission to kiss a girl or undress her. She’d imagined he would just do it.
She nodded.
He slowly unzipped her hoodie and let it slide off her shoulders, not taking his eyes off hers for a second as he went to work on her cardigan.
Should she be undressing him too? She’d had a few boyfriends herself over the years, not as many as she’d like, and she definitely didn’t have the experience that Dougie had, but she had never second-guessed her way around the bedroom either. But what even was this? They weren’t going to make love but they were going to cuddle in bed, he’d told her he loved her and she damned well loved him and now he was undressing her. She didn’t know the rules for this. This was Dougie, her best friend, and they were going to see each other naked.
They were going to see each other naked!
Her greedy fingers reached out to the bottom of his jumper, found the hem of his t-shirt and dragged both items off in one quick sweep. He chuckled at her impatience but all she could do was stare at his chest. She’d seen it before. Many times in fact as he didn’t have any scruples about wandering around her house half naked and once she’d even seen him completely naked. But every time she had quickly looked away, not wanting him to see her staring with hunger in her eyes. But now it seemed she could do what she wanted. He loved her. So she could stare at him all night if she so wished. She could even touch him. He was gloriously beautiful, his smooth chest and arms were so big and strong, he had these big thick shoulders that looked like he could take on the weight of the world. Her eyes drifted down to his flat toned stomach and then even lower to where his jeans hung on his waist.
He dispensed with her cardigan and gave a soft sigh of frustration at the shirt she was wearing. He started work on the buttons.
‘Just out of interest, how many layers are you wearing?’ Dougie said.
She giggled. ‘Sorry, it’s freezing out there. I figured if we were going to be sitting on the beach for a few hours then I’d need to wear some layers or die of hypothermia.’
‘So do I need to go and get a snack or something to keep my energy up while I dispense with all these clothes? I’m presuming there’s flesh under there somewhere.’
‘Keep going, I’m pretty sure there’s only four more layers.’
‘Four?’
‘After the shirt.’
He smirked as he slid the shirt to the floor.
‘Or maybe I’ll just take a leaf out of your book.’ He grabbed the bottom of her clothes and hauled them all up together.
‘No wait—’ Eden tried to stop him but it was too late. The jumper, the two t-shirts and the vest came to a halt around her neck but over her face. Dougie tried to free her by pulling harder on her clothes but that didn’t do anything. ‘Stop, you’re strangling me,’ she said, her voice muffled through all the layers of clothes. ‘One of my t-shirts has a drawstring collar.’
‘Of course it has,’ Dougie said.
God, there was nothing sexy about this. She was standing there in her bra and jeans with the rest of her clothes hanging over her head like some weird kind of headless monster.
Suddenly she was acutely aware he was staring at her. She didn’t know why, but she was sure he was. This was not how she wanted him to remember seeing her naked for the first time.
What bra was she wearing? She hadn’t put any thought into her underwear when she had got ready that evening. It was the pink one, which definitely wasn’t the worst of her bras, but probably not the best either, though it did have that cute bow at the front that looked like it was the only thing holding the bra together.
Dougie must have thought so too as he suddenly gently tugged at the end of the bow, obviously hoping that her bra would suddenly come undone and her breasts would come tumbling out.
‘Douglas Harrison,’ she laughed, her hands on her hips, though she knew there was nothing formidable about her in her current position. ‘If you think you can pull my bra off and cop a feel of my breasts when my clothes are hanging over my face like this, you have another think coming.’
He laughed. ‘Sorry, I was trying to be efficient. Does that mean I can’t take your jeans off either?’
‘That’s exactly what it means. Your impatience got me into this situation, you can damned well get me out of it.’
He sighed dramatically. ‘In all my meticulous planning for this evening, never in my wildest dreams did I see it panning out like this.’
‘What was your plan for the evening?’ Eden said as she tried to fight through her layers to find the drawstring.
‘To make you smile,’ Dougie said, without missing a beat.
She smiled with love for him. ‘Well, you definitely achieved that.’
‘Does that mean I can cop a feel now?’ he said as he tried to pull her clothes back over her head and onto her body.
‘No it does not.’
‘Spoilsport.’
‘Pervert. Look with your eyes, not your hands.’
‘Oh believ
e me, I was,’ Dougie said, pushing her clothes back down and she was able to see once more. His face was filled with amusement and, although she liked it a lot better when he was looking at her with hunger, this had to be a very close second.
‘You find this funny?’
‘I find this hilarious. We’ve not even had sex and this is already ranking as one of the best nights of my life. Who wears drawstring t-shirts anyway?’
‘It was cold!’ Eden said. ‘I didn’t want any draughts getting in.’
‘Or anything else for that matter. When we do make love, I’m going to have to give over an extra few hours in my schedule to get you undressed. How about we have dinner at four o’clock that night? That should give me enough time to get through the hundred layers of clothes and get laid sometime before midnight.’
‘Well, if you take me out to somewhere warm and inside, instead of a beach in the middle of December, then I might even wear a few less layers that night. And I promise no drawstrings.’
They were talking about this like it definitely was going to happen and she liked the thought of that. Even if it wasn’t going to happen tonight. Hell, it definitely wasn’t going to happen tonight, she had killed any passion dead.
Finally she found the drawstring and released it. ‘Now you can take my clothes off.’
Dougie rolled his eyes but she could see he was loving every minute of this. He pulled her clothes gently over her head and let them drop to the floor. His eyes roamed over her body.
‘Can I cop a feel now?’
She laughed. God, she loved this man so much and whatever this thing was between them, whether it was one night or a few weeks of fun, she knew they would be OK. He was her best friend and nothing was going to change that.
She leaned up and kissed him and he smiled against her lips as he kissed her back. She ran her hands over his chest and round his back, enjoying the feel of his smooth skin over rock-hard muscle, and then her hands met the waistband of his jeans. She hesitated for just a second before she slid her hands round the waistband and undid the button on the top of his jeans. He continued to kiss her, holding her face in his hands, but when she slowly undid his zip, he took a little intake of breath.