by Sarah Makela
“There are things I can’t really talk about,” I said, opting for truth. I wiped a hand over my face, feeling the weight of the revelation. Mia was upset I wouldn’t talk with her, but I just couldn’t. It wasn’t personal toward either sibling.
Nolan rested a hand on my shoulder. “Is it about your deployment? If you need to talk to someone about what happened over there, you know I’m here for you. Don’t shut me out.” He stood. “Want another beer? I’m thinking about cooking steaks.”
“Sure.” My mind spun. While I’d witnessed a lot overseas that I still had trouble dealing with, I hadn’t intended for Nolan to think this was about my deployment. I didn’t want his pity over the fact I’d served my country.
I opened my mouth to protest against his assumption, but stopped myself. “Another beer would be great.” I looked up at him, meeting his gaze. “I’ll try to open up. Promise.”
* * *
Dinner with Nolan had been good. We’d talked about what had happened during my deployment, even if I wanted to keep some of that bottled inside. I wasn’t exactly comfortable communicating the hard moments, but this was Nolan. I trusted him like a brother, and I needed to revive his trust in me.
If there was one thing I learned last night, it was I didn’t want our relationship to resemble what I’d witnessed between Shane and Jacob, the missing werewolf. I put my empty can of beer on the coffee table and watched the sports commentary on television.
Nolan was cleaning up in the kitchen when his cell phone rang. I tried to tune it out. Listening in on phone conversations was useful, but it made me feel like an intruder on others’ lives. I wouldn’t want someone doing it to me.
However, a female voice on the other end purred a greeting, and I couldn’t help being a little curious. “Hey, sexy, are you doing anything right now?”
“Hi hon. I’m hanging out with Ethan. What’s going on?”
She laughed a throaty, erotic laugh. “I could really use some company. I bought a pair of furry handcuffs I’d like to try out.”
Heat flooded my cheeks, and I turned up television a few notches. While I could guess what would happen with those handcuffs, I did not need any more information, certainly not about Nolan’s sex life.
No matter how hard I tried, I had a hard time focusing on the TV. However, I relaxed when Nolan walked into the living room.
“I’ve got to take off for a bit. I’ll be home later or possibly in the morning. My girl wants to...” He struggled for words. “Uh, she wants to watch some movies. So we’re going to hang out, if that’s okay? I don’t mean to bail on you.”
“It’s fine.” I winked. “Have fun. Don’t let her talk you into watching any chick flicks.” The fact he’d be gone relieved me. If things weren’t awkward between Mia and me, I’d have called her up, but they were. So I’d reach out to Chad about the female werewolf situation.
With a sigh, I reached for my cell. I dialed the number Chad had given me, partially expecting him to ignore my call. My thoughts were interrupted by a grating sound coming from the phone. The line was horrible.
“Yes?” Chad’s voice came through, and the interference slowly dissipated.
“Hey, I know it’s late, but we need to talk. You got a moment?” I said, tension straining my voice. “It’s about last night. Your father is forcing me into a relationship with a female werewolf. I can’t leave Mia for someone else.”
“Politics inside the Pack right now are delicate. Trust me, you don’t want to test the waters. Mia isn’t in good standing with us because of what happened. If you go against what the Alpha says and complain about his decisions, he won’t be as willing to ensure your safety in the end. I’m risking my name and reputation with my father to keep you alive.” Chad sounded tired. “I don’t think I’ll be able to help.”
“What do you mean? There must be something you can do. Am I expected to leave that part of my life behind for someone I barely know?” I snarled the words. I didn’t care how I came across. Mia was mine, and I would not have it any other way.
“No one expects you to get busy with producing cubs, idiot. You have been given a strong nudge to court a female wolf. To woo her. We don’t force mates who would kill one another.” He groaned as if he was explaining all of this to a child.
Sure, they were saying this now. “How long would I have before the Alpha expects me to find someone? Can’t this be postponed?” I asked. Better to know the terms fully. Maybe I could find a way out of this.
“Listen, it’s late.” His tone hinted at resignation. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you.” But the connection had already been severed.
CHAPTER NINE
Mia
My swollen ankle was propped on the coffee table, resting comfortably on a folded towel. The television played one of those housewife shows I’d never admit to watching.
My foot hurt more than it had before. If I hadn’t been Jessa’s only assistant, I wouldn’t have gone in to the shop today. Being on my feet had hindered the comfrey poultice from doing its ‘magic’, no pun intended.
There hadn’t been any crazy visitors to the shop today, which I was glad about. Part of me had wondered if Selene would be back.
However, the one thing I worried about above all was the approaching full moon. Ethan was speaking to me less, and I had a feeling he was hiding something. My suspicions were confirmed by the fact he’d been less than forthcoming about the sudden Pack meeting.
Another reason why I’d wondered about Selene was that the full moon was a time when witches performed certain rituals. I mostly knew about that through the grimoire my grandmother left behind. I had never taken part in something like that, even though Jessa tried talking me into it a few times. That was beyond my comfort zone.
My cell phone chimed its dubstep tune. The number looked familiar.
“Hey, hon,” Jessa said, her voice cheery like the sun parting grey clouds. “Are you busy?”
“No, not at all.” Aside from catching up on television, but that could be put off. “How are you doing? I’m surprised to hear from you. I was going to leave for the hospital in an hour or so.”
“About that. I’m doing well enough that I talked the doctor into letting me go home.” I was relieved to hear that. Life was slowly returning to normal. “If you could pick me up I’d really appreciate it.”
The idea of driving to the hospital with my foot this sore sent me spiraling into a mild panic. Just getting home had been excruciating, so I had no idea how I’d get there and back again.
Nolan! He could take me to pick Jessa up. He’d only met her once or twice, but he was my brother. He hadn’t paid me back yet for me picking up Ethan from the airport. This would be the perfect time to cash that in.
“I don’t know if I can drive with my foot in the condition it’s in, but—”
“Don’t worry about it then. I can take a taxi.” The glow to her voice faded.
“I’ll see if Nolan will take me and give you a call back.” I dialed Nolan’s number, hoping my brother would finally be of assistance to me. After last night, I was nervous talking to him. If I’d been feeling better, I would’ve just driven myself without hoping he’d be there for me, though it wasn’t like he always left me hanging, but I hated feeling like I had to rely on someone else.
He answered on the third ring, right when I was considering hanging up. “Hey, sis.” His voice sounded genuinely pleased, and I wondered if this was the same guy I’d talked with the other day. He’d been upset and rightly so, if I had to be honest. “How’s it going?”
“Hi, I’m doing well. Just wondered if you could possibly do me a favor.” I took a deep breath, trying not to feel like I was being a total burden to him. Family relied on one another when they needed help. It was within my right to ask.
“Hmm. What’s the favor? I’m headed to my girlfriend’s place.” The happy, laid back Nolan eroded around the edges.
My mouth fell open, and I close
d it, biting my lip. Okay, well... he had a life. I couldn’t be upset with him. I’d just hoped the one time I needed him, he’d be there, but I wasn’t entirely out of options. “It’s okay. Sorry to bother you.”
“Sis, I can do it later. Just let me know what’s up.” His tone deepened, becoming gruffer, and I wished I’d called Ethan. Unless he was busy too, then it looked like I’d be driving, even though I really, really didn’t feel up to it. Taking a taxi would be more expensive than my Ramen noodle budget could afford.
“I have to pick up my friend from the hospital, but I hurt my foot earlier. I’m not up to driving, but I guess I have to do it.” Sighing, I leaned my head against the back of the couch.
“Ah, sorry, I wish I could help. Do you know of anyone else? I’m sure I could call one of my buddies. Ethan was just lounging at home when I left.” The dinging of Nolan’s car in the background told me he was at his destination.
“Okay, I guess I’ll see if I can find someone else.” Having Ethan take me was a last resort option, but it would have to do. Some of Nolan’s other friends were pretty derpy. I didn’t like hanging out with them. They could get too ‘hands on’ and flirty at times, which wasn’t what Jessa or I needed after all we’d been through.
“Call me if you can’t find someone.” A seductive female voice in the background made me realize what Nolan was probably over at his girlfriend’s house for. He was getting some. That’s why he couldn’t take me to the hospital.
“I will.”
The two of us were drifting further and further apart. I just had to let it go. He was in his own world when it came to family, and my family loved him just the way he was.
I also didn’t dare ask my parents for a ride, since they and Jessa would rub on another like sandpaper, with me in the middle. Plus mom would ask about my leg and I didn’t want to go there.
I called Ethan since I didn’t have anyone else to ask.
Greg, my ex, would’ve been one of my choices when we were still together, but he was out of my life. He’d called a few times since we broke up, but I’d ignored his calls. I wasn’t about to talk to him after what happened on Christmas Eve.
“Hello?” Ethan’s voice touched me in places I hadn’t known existed.
“Hi.” I steeled myself, trying to get the words out, even though it was less about him and more about my issues with him shutting down on me. Our communication problems weren’t anything new, but I still had bouts where I had trouble talking with him.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, gentleness laced with suspicion.
I tripped over the words then shut my mouth, forcing myself to take control. “I’m fine. Kind of. I just needed a favor if you’re available.”
“Kind of? That’s not very convincing, babe. What’s going on?” His voice deepened. I shuddered, enjoying the sound. However, Jessa had told me to break up with him, and now I was asking him to drive me to take her home from the hospital.
That would go over great. Not.
“I need to pick Jessa up from the hospital.” Letting out a breath, I continued, “My foot isn’t doing so well, so I kind of need help getting there. I’d prefer not to drive. I was wondering if perhaps you could take me.”
“That’s no problem. You shouldn’t hesitate to ask me something like that. I’m here for you. You do realize that, don’t you? Just take it easy. I shouldn’t be more than five minutes.”
Relief swelled in my chest. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”
“Any time, babe.” He paused for a moment. Only his soft breathing filled the phone line. “I love you, Mia. You know that. I’m just dealing with things right now that are beyond the scope of my comfort levels. We both are. Just know I’m here for you whenever you need me.”
My heart skipped a beat and I questioned why I had been so hard on him. Saying this made me feel much better. No matter what faced us, we’d handle it. That was what mattered, not all the uncertainties.
“I love you as well, Ethan. You have no idea how much this means to me.” However, I still had to explain to Jessa why I was bringing Ethan, who she said I shouldn’t be with. Then again, sometimes a girl had to go with what she knew was right for her, regardless of all that could go wrong.
Fear had eaten at my life enough, and I refused to give it any more power over me. I was stronger than that. If I’d wanted to cower under Greg, then I wouldn’t have become more of my own woman and spread my wings, even when I thought I’d simply plunge out of the sky to my death.
“I’ll be there soon.”
“Bye.” I disconnected from the call, unable to help my silly smile. Being with Ethan was everything I’d hoped for and so much more.
Dialing back Jessa, I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the stupidly happy sound to my voice.
“Mia? Did you find someone to pick me up?” Jessa sounded worried, and I felt bad for her. She’d been in the hospital for the past few weeks. I’m sure all she wanted was to go home to her own bed and rest.
“Yes, we’ll be there soon. It should be like thirty minutes max.” I couldn’t help but smile knowing I’d see Ethan. Our relationship had hit a slump, but I didn’t feel that way now. I felt optimism and hope.
We’d get past whatever was going on because we wanted one another. Ethan said he was here for me. He wouldn’t be tired of me in a few weeks or a few years. He wanted me to be his.
I felt the exact same way.
“Something tells me your brother isn’t picking us up.” Disappointment soured Jessa’s tone. I knew she had a crush on Nolan, but I also knew it was better if she didn’t get her hopes set on him. He wasn’t a good choice for her. These days he changed girlfriends like some guys changed socks. Pretty frequently. He hadn’t found the right one yet. At least I hoped that was simply the case.
“No, he’s not.”
She sighed. There was a pause before she said, “I’ll see you soon.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I wished I’d just gone to bed. It always happened like this. I tried to help someone out, only to get dragged down because they wanted something else for me.
One of these days, I’d forge my own way.
CHAPTER TEN
Mia
Ethan and I sat in the car on the way to the hospital, and I glanced over at him. He had on a black shirt and a pair of jeans. The shirt was tight enough to leave little to the imagination about his chiseled chest. I loved it, but I hated that other women could so easily see his muscular body. But I knew he was my man for as long as I wanted him.
“How was your day?” he asked. His gaze slid over me, pausing to check out my breasts. That sizzling look in his eyes melted my insides, and I wished we were back at my place instead of on the way to pick Jessa up from the hospital.
Maybe we could go back when we were done to talk and get past this communication problem we had. I wanted to clear the air and go back to the way things were.
“It was fine. Pretty boring. I didn’t have a lot of customers.” I smiled, refusing to mention the witch I’d encountered the other day. I still wondered why she was interested in me.
“Good. How’s your foot?” He returned his gaze to the road as the light turned green. “It looks swollen. You shouldn’t be going to the shop with it like that.” He frowned.
“I’m okay.” He’d done first aid training, so he could probably call me on my bullshit. But I didn’t want him to worry. The comfrey hadn’t had a chance to take care of the problem yet, but I would be talking with Jessa about other things I could do for my ankle when we had a moment alone.
“No, Mia. It’s not okay. You should get a doctor to look at it. At the very least, stay off of it.” He shot me a look that said he wasn’t kidding.
I slumped in the passenger seat, staring out the side window. “I just need a few days to heal.”
“Which you’re not getting by going to work.” Ethan rubbed my leg near the knee. “Come on, babe. Don’t do this to yourself. You should R.I.C.E.” Rest, ice
, compress, elevate. I knew all of that. His hand slid a little further up my leg but stopped. Argh. I wouldn’t let myself get sidetracked from the argument. No, just a discussion.
“I will be fine. I know what I’m doing. Plus if it doesn’t feel better, I promise I’ll see a doctor.” I ran a hand through my hair and stared out the window, not looking in his direction because I knew he wouldn’t take the promise seriously. He knew how I was. I trusted magic and herbs over doctors. Besides, they’d proven a more powerful and healthy way to handle any ailments, except I was getting in the way of the healing process.
“If you don’t keep your promise, I’ll have to tell your parents. You know they’ll be upset that you haven’t seen a doctor.” Humor softened his voice, and it was the only thing keeping me from pummeling my fists against his chest. If he told my parents, they would force me into being seen; they would nag until I did.
“I already told Nolan, so don’t worry. You’ll probably have competition over who tells first.” I grumbled, sliding further in the seat. I hadn’t realized that Nolan might tell, if not in passing. At least he didn’t know how serious my foot was. He only knew I’d asked for his help because I hadn’t been comfortable with driving.
“What?” Ethan’s voice dropped to a gravely growl. “You went to him first?”
Oh boy, this was just my luck. I wish I hadn’t brought up my brother. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. “Yes, I asked him because I didn’t want to—”
“You didn’t want to bother me? Or you weren’t comfortable asking me because of the problems we had?” He pulled into a parking spot at the hospital and turned off the ignition. His fingers bit into my leg just above the knee.
I reluctantly looked at him, knowing he wanted me to. “Fine. You’re right. I didn’t ask you because of the problems we’ve been having. I don’t know how to handle you as a werewolf.” My heart pounded in my ears, and I wiped sweaty palms on my skirt. “I’m scared. I know the werewolves don’t like me, and I’m afraid when you become one of them you’ll feel the same way. I don’t want them to take you away from me.”