by K. A. Linde
David held his hand out and shook with everyone. “Pleasure to meet you all. Thank you for letting me crash your family holiday.”
“That’s all right,” Sutton said. “The more, the merrier.”
We all said our own welcome, and then the formalities dissipated since we were overtaken by the marching band.
Austin moved to my side and kissed me full on the mouth. “Fuck, I missed you,” he said against my lips.
“I missed you, too. How are you doing with all of this?”
He shrugged and tugged me a bit further from the rest of his family. “It’s fine.”
“You say that, and I don’t believe you.”
“Okay. It fucking sucks. The entire thing feels utterly ridiculous. This guy is some big shot from Silicon Valley. What the fuck does he want to do with Wright Construction? For that matter, what the fuck does he even know about the business? He’s never been in construction before. I know he’s qualified, but we’d have to train him from the start. I already know the job. I’ve always known the job. The whole thing could be avoided so easily if they just went back to the board.”
It was the first time I’d heard Austin talk so frankly about wanting the job. I knew that he had been mad and had been trying to stop drinking to make himself look better for the company. Also, for his health and me, and I was sure a million other reasons in his head. But he really sounded like he cared here.
“You really appreciate this company, don’t you?”
“Yes,” he said automatically. He ran a hand back through his hair and glanced off to see the kids rushing the brick-lined street to grab candy. “I feel like this was an eye-opener.”
“How so?”
“Like I’ve just been getting by. I didn’t really care what happened as long as I could continue my life the way it was. Now…that doesn’t feel like enough.”
It was probably because he was thinking clearly for the first time in years. With a depressant clogging his system, it was no surprise that he hadn’t given two fucks about what happened in his life. And, now that he was pulling way back, he was seeing all the mistakes he’d made.
“What are you going to do about it?” I asked.
He shrugged. “What can I do?”
“Anything you set your mind to.”
“I can’t get the CFO position.”
“Do you really want it?”
He opened his mouth and then closed it. “No one’s ever really asked me that.”
“Well?”
“I do want it. But I don’t know if I want it because it was always the position I thought I would get or if it’s because that’s what I want to do with the rest of my life.”
“Then, maybe figure out what you do want to do with the rest of your life and go from there.”
He swept an arm around my waist. “What would I do without you?”
“You’d be lost,” I assured him.
“Probably true.”
“So, what do you think of this David guy besides the fact that you don’t think he should get the position?”
“I didn’t say that. I said that we’d have to train him.” Austin sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically. “I kind of like the guy.”
“So begrudging.”
“I really want to hate him.”
“But you don’t?”
“Nah. He seems like a good guy, smart as a whip, and charming. It’s kind of not fair.”
“As if any of you Wrights know about what’s fair.”
“Watch it, babe,” he said with a grin.
I laughed and dragged him back over to his family. We sat on a quilt to watch the parade pass us. Austin grabbed us breakfast biscuits at the halfway point. I chowed down, enjoying the ease with which I now fit into the Wright family unit. It was crazy to me to think that, during Memorial Day weekend, I had been an interloper on their festivities, and now that I was dating Austin, I fit right in. It had been a long time since I felt like I was part of a family. And the Wrights were above and beyond.
I found myself really relaxing for the first time in a long, long time. Austin made me feel safe. As if it wasn’t me versus the world for once. I wanted to keep my guard up, but I couldn’t seem to do it. Despite my past, I wanted to get lost in Austin. After our art classes, it was hard not to see how sincere he was about our relationship. And even better was there hadn’t been any more Maggie sightings. No more room to second-guess our newfound happiness.
Once the parade finally ended, the first of the marathon runners started to come to the finish line, which had been erected only a dozen yards from where we were seated. Sutton had clearly picked this spot on purpose.
“It’ll probably be another hour before Mav comes through,” Sutton explained to the rest of her family. “These people are insane with their times.”
“Watch out, Sutton. You might need a twenty-six-point-two sticker for the back of your car soon,” Morgan teased.
“Mav already has one,” she said, not taking the bait.
“I know how much you love running.”
“Adore it. My favorite thing ever.” Sutton gagged. “I like it as much as you like babies.”
Morgan cracked up. “I like Jason.”
“He doesn’t count. You have to love him.”
“Fair.”
“You both are ridiculous,” I said with a laugh.
“Truth,” Morgan said. “I don’t like babies. Sutton hates running. What about you?”
“Heights. I’ve never liked them, but a couple of years ago, I…” I trailed off. What the hell had I been about to say? I couldn’t tell them that story. “I don’t know. They just freak me out.”
“Understandable,” Sutton said.
“I don’t mind heights. It’s the falling that would bother me,” Morgan said.
Sutton laughed and pushed Morgan. “They go hand in hand!”
“Yeah, they do,” I said softly.
I was glad when they changed the subject.
David came and sat down on our blanket. He was dressed comfortably, like the rest of us, in khakis and a cerulean polo. He and Morgan seemed to hit it off right away. I found that most people got along with Morgan if they had a real personality and didn’t threaten her family. She would cut you faster than you could blink if you did anything to her family. But seeing her with David made it very obvious that they could work together well.
“And you work for the company, too?” he asked.
I nodded. “I do. I’m head of HR.”
“Wonderful to meet you. Did you grow up here as well?”
“No, I’m the only transplant. I moved here from Ohio.”
“That must have been a big change.”
“It was,” I agreed. “I would assume as big as coming from northern California.”
He laughed easily. “Yes. Though you have snow.”
“True. It doesn’t snow that much here.”
Morgan rolled her eyes. “It snows enough for me.”
“I’m glad I never have to shovel another driveway in my life.”
“I could see that,” David said. “Things seem…slower here. California is always go, go, go. Do you love it?”
“Well, I would say that Wright is still go, go, go,” I told him. “But Lubbock is definitely a slower pace. It has that nice small-town vibe in a bigger city.”
“I’ve noticed that. I like it so far. Different than I expected.” His eyes turned to Sutton. “And you don’t work for the company, right?”
“I’m the only one,” she said, though her eyes were glued to Jason where he played with Bethany and Lilyanne.
“He’s adorable. Yours right?”
She nodded. “He looks just like his dad though. I had to carry him for nine months, and he came out looking like someone else. Not exactly fair.”
David laughed boisterously. It was the first completely genuine look I’d seen on his face. I could see why everyone liked him.
I turned to Austin and found him joking a
round with Patrick. Their bromance was pretty ridiculous, but at the same time, I enjoyed it. I liked that Austin wasn’t a loner. I liked everything about this situation right now.
I had just about had as much heat as I could handle before the Wright barbeque this afternoon. I turned to tell Austin that maybe we should head out when Sutton jumped to her feet. Someone was breathlessly screaming her name.
My eyes shot to a girl wearing a marathon number and flagging as she approached Sutton.
“Annie,” Sutton said, “what’s going on with you?”
“Mav,” Annie got out. “Mav…Mav, he collapsed.”
“What?” she gasped. Her body was so still. As if she couldn’t process what had just been said. “Is he okay? Where is he?”
“About a mile back. They were going to send an EMT, but I just took off to come get you. They’re taking him to the hospital. I don’t know what’s wrong. We had almost made it all the way. One minute, we were joking about hugging you with how sweaty we were. The next, he was on the ground. You…you need to get to the hospital right away.”
My jaw dropped open at her words. Maverick had collapsed while running, and they had to rush him to the hospital. That wasn’t normal. And Sutton was as white as a ghost.
“We’ll take care of Jason,” Kimber said at once, shuffling him in with her kids.
“Thank you,” Sutton gasped out before dashing from the parade route without another word.
Morgan chased after her.
I offered her friend Annie a bottle of water. She gratefully took it in her shaky hands and downed it.
“You can come with us, Annie,” Jensen offered.
“Thank you,” she said, abandoning her number, so close to the finish line.
“We should all probably go to the hospital to find out what’s going on,” Jensen said. He began apologizing to David, who immediately fended him off.
But fear pricked at me. “Do you think he’s okay?” I asked Annie.
Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. “I don’t know.”
Twenty-One
Austin
Maverick was dead.
One minute, he had been there, taking care of Jason, working for the company, running a marathon. And, the next minute, he was gone.
Twenty-three years old with his entire life ahead of him. A wife and a son. Now, a widow and a boy who would grow up without his father. Just like all the other Wrights at the hospital. But worse. So much worse. He would never even know his dad. He wouldn’t know the man he had been or how much he’d loved his mother. He’d have plenty of family, but no one could replace a father. I knew that firsthand.
Sutton was inside the ER room. She had collapsed onto the ground when she found out that he’d died of an unknown heart complication. Her wails could still be heard, but she screamed at anyone who wanted to come inside to console her.
There was no consoling with this.
Only empty words.
And pity.
I knew that she wanted neither of them.
The only thing that she said coherently was Jason’s name. Over and over again. Like a lament.
But she’d told us not to bring him into the room. She wanted to be the one to tell him when the time was right. He was too young to know what was happening, which was its only mercy. But he wasn’t too young not to know that something was wrong. I didn’t blame her for protecting him. Even when nothing could make it right.
Because nothing would be right again.
We had all joked when Sutton got pregnant that Maverick had done it on purpose, that they had a shotgun wedding, and that he only wanted her money. Then, over the last year and a half, we’d all realized how wrong we were. Maverick had adored Sutton, and beyond that, he had been a great guy and a hard worker. He’d fit in better than anyone had anticipated.
That was irreplaceable.
I wished that I could do something, but none of us could. We just waited on the other side of the hospital room door and listened to our youngest sister, the best and brightest and happiest of all of us, as all of that was crushed out of her.
I found Julia in the waiting room. She had her knees tucked up to her chest with her chin resting on them. She was staring off into the distance with red-rimmed eyes.
“Hey babe.”
I reached my hand out to her. She put hers in mine and then stood. I wrapped strong, comforting hands around her, holding her tight to me.
“How’s Sutton?” Julia asked with a sniffle. “God, what a stupid question. I’m sure she’s horrible.”
“Yeah. She’s not good.”
Julia wiped tears from her eyes and hiccuped. “I can’t imagine. I just…can’t imagine.”
“No, I don’t think any of us can. It made me want to come see you immediately. Touch you, feel you, make sure you were still here, still real.”
A tear slid down her cheek, and I gently swiped it away with my knuckle.
“That’s sweet.”
“It’s the truth. The thought that you could be gone sent me into a panic. I can’t explain it. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I just needed to see you.”
“Sutton will feel that every day, and when she looks for Mav, he’ll be gone,” Julia whispered.
“Maybe we should get you home.” I worried over her distracted, glazed expression.
My Julia was locked away somewhere. Trapped deep within herself. I didn’t know what to make of this, but I would take care of her the best that I could.
“All right,” she whispered. “Should we say good-bye to anyone?”
“I’ll just text Jensen.”
She nodded, completely out of it, as she walked through the sliding glass doors. I followed her out of the hospital and into an Uber. Neither of us had driven anywhere today. We went to her place instead of mine because I wanted her to feel at home and safe.
What had happened gave me perfect clarity in the same way that it seemed to have completely messed with Julia. She was distraught. And all I wanted to do was comfort her and make it all better.
“Maybe we should get you in a shower,” I suggested.
She shook her head and then collapsed onto the couch. “How is she going to be able to go on?”
“I don’t know, Jules. It’s not going to be easy.”
“It’s going to be impossible. I was there with her all day. I saw her love for that man. She was sad because she’d barely gotten a kiss before he left for the marathon. She’s going to regret every single thing that happened this morning. It’s just wrong.”
“I know. There’s nothing any of us can do for Sutton, except be there for her. And, right now…we can’t do anything. So, let me take care of you. It’s the only thing I can do.”
She looked up at me with unblinking wide eyes. “I really want a drink.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. “I can do that.”
“Fuck, Austin. No. No, no, no.” She pressed her hands hard into her eyes. “I shouldn’t have a drink. Definitely not around you. That’s horrible.”
I sank to my knees before this beautiful woman. “You’re hurting. It’s perfectly normal to want to numb the pain.”
“Don’t.”
“I won’t drink with you.”
“It’s mean.”
“It’s okay, Jules,” I said, drawing her hands away from her face.
“It’s not okay. None of this is okay.”
“Julia.”
She finally looked down at me. I kissed both her hands.
“None of this is going to get better today. Not for Sutton. Not for you. Not for anyone. Beating yourself up for how you’re feeling isn’t going to help anything. If you want a drink, I’ll pour you one. I’ll take care of you. Just let me take care of you.”
“Oh, Austin,” she whispered.
Her lips brushed against mine. I felt the pain in that small movement. My Julia was broken, and there was next to nothing I could do about it. But I did what I could.
I swept her up
into my arms. She buried her face into my shoulder, wrapping her arms around my neck, and clung to me. I brought her into the bathroom and gently set her back on her feet. After I turned the shower on, I took my time stripping her out of the sticky clothes she’d worn to the Fourth of July parade. I kissed her once more before moving her under the hot water. She shivered under the spray as I removed all of my clothes and followed her inside. I lathered a loofah with the cherry body soap and washed the sweat off her skin.
Once she was clean, I helped her out of the shower and toweled her off. She wrapped her hair up in a towel. I saw some of the hollowness had left her eyes, but she was still out of it.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“Of course.”
I urged her into bed. She disappeared under the covers. I pulled on my boxers and found a small liquor shelf in her kitchen. It had two bottles of top-shelf gin and a full bottle of Maker’s Mark. My fingers itched for the Maker’s.
I stood there, momentarily paralyzed. I’d told Julia I wouldn’t drink with her. I’d told her that it was okay that she had a drink. And it was okay.
This was one of the most stressful days of my life. It wouldn’t just be a drink to get the edge off of withdrawal. It wouldn’t be a casual drink with friends. This was the day my brother-in-law died. My sister became a widow. My nephew, fatherless. It was okay to drink today. I could be strong for Jules, but I wasn’t strong today.
My hand tightened around the bottle of whiskey, and I brought it down to the counter. Just one. I only needed one.
I tipped a shot into the glass and tipped it back. My hands were still shaking when I set it down. The drink had done nothing. I still ached. Nothing was numb. I’d need to bury myself in that bottle for it to fucking do anything. And I wouldn’t do that to Julia. Not when she needed me right now. One would have to do.
I shoved the Maker’s back on the shelf with a force that I couldn’t control and made Julia her gin and tonic. Before I went back to the bedroom, I rummaged through the junk drawer until I found a pack of gum. Spearmint. I hoped that would cover the whiskey on my breath. I popped two pieces in my mouth. Then, I snagged Waffle, who was on a chair in the corner, and brought the unicorn in with me.