She got up and searched the bookcase for something to read. Whoever read up here had highbrow tastes. She finally decided on Ernest Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls. Then she saw Erica Jong’s The Happy Hooker tucked behind Hemingway, and she snatched it out—that stood a much better chance of keeping her awake.
It didn’t. Jenna woke up with sunlight bathing her face. She leapt up and the The Happy Hooker fell to the floor. “Oh, crap, crap, crap.”
Jenna snuck down the hall and peeked into the bedroom. Lee was right where she left her. Jenna watched her closely. She was still breathing, thank goodness. Lee snorted, groaned, and flopped over onto her back. Jenna waited. Lee snorted again and then was fast asleep. Jenna backed out of the room and quietly closed the door.
***
Jenna hesitated before she opened the front door. She remembered it had squeaked loudly the day before. She went to the kitchen and found a bottle of cooking oil. She dabbed some on a paper towel and applied it to the door hinges. The door opened soundlessly. Perfect. After slinking outside, she quietly poured charcoal on the hibachi and lit it. Then she gathered up pine needles and piled them next to the hibachi. Then she waited and waited, anxiously glancing toward the door.
After what seemed like forever, the coals began to turn gray. She scooped up a handful of pine needles and set them on top of the coals. They ignited immediately and the smoke-a-thon was on. Jenna almost whooped. She clamped a hand over her mouth. That was close. She looked at her watch. It was seven thirty-five. For the next half an hour she piled on the pine needles. She wished she knew how to make smoke signals so she could spell out SOS. Instead, she sent out a prayer to the universe and all the gods she could think of, that a fire lookout would send someone out to scold the person disobeying the fire warning.
She put more pine needles on the hibachi. She slipped inside to get the bacon going to hide the smell of her transgression. Pulling the supplies from the fridge, she thought she heard groaning. She crept down the hall and peeked through the crack in the slightly ajar door. Lee groaned and snorted. Her breathing grew even and deep again. Jenna silently walked down the hall. It looked like she had more time. She put the bacon in the skillet on low and went back outside.
Her signal fire had been going for an hour and twenty minutes before she heard the bedroom door open. A disheveled Lee stumbled down the hall. She flounced down on the couch and covered her eyes with her arm. “Is that bacon I smell?”
“Yes, it is. I’m making you breakfast. How do you want your eggs?”
“You don’t remember?” Lee asked.
“You’ve been in a foreign country, you might like them differently now,” Jenna said, keeping her voice even.
“Are you ever going to stop taunting me with that foreign shit?” Lee groaned.
“Only if you go back,” Jenna said pleasantly. “Then I’ll stop.”
“I’m never going back. In fact, I have no desire to ever hop the pond again. I hope you don’t want to go to Europe because I won’t take you.” Lee sat up and sniffed the air. “Is that hickory smoked bacon?”
Jenna hoped it wasn’t the burning pine needles she smelled. “I think so. You never answered my question about the eggs,” she said, trying to derail the conversation about smells.
“Over easy, like always.”
“Some things never change,” Jenna said. She wanted to keep up the banter so Lee would be distracted.
“I’ve changed,” Lee said. She stood up and saw smoke wafting through the screen door. “What’s going on out there?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jenna said. “Why don’t you sit down? Breakfast is almost done. I’ll serve it to you in there.”
Lee rushed the door and whipped it open. “You little bitch!” She grabbed a jug of water from the cabinet and ran out the door. Jenna’s signal fire hissed and died. So did her hopes.
Lee glared at her as they watched the last wisps up smoke climb skyward. She shook the empty water jug at Jenna. “Why’d you do that?”
“I thought we’d roast marshmallows after breakfast,” Jenna said. The lie sounded weak even to her.
“Oh, and those pine needles just happen to fall on top of the burning hot charcoal and smoke to high heaven. I know what you were doing!” Lee shouted. She turned and threw the plastic water jug at the deck.
Lee’s temper ignited Jenna’s. “What am I doing that’s so wrong? I’m trying to get the hell out of here because I never wanted to be here in the first place. What part of that DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?”
Lee looked at her, puzzled. “But what about last night? We were getting along so well. It was almost like none of that bad stuff had ever happened and now you go and do this. I don’t get it.”
“That’s just it. You never did get it,” Jenna said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You never thought of anyone but yourself. Being in a relationship works a whole lot better if both people care about each other’s needs, not just their own,” Jenna said.
“I cared about your needs.” Lee turned her back on Jenna and stepped up on the deck, making her way to the front door.
Jenna followed her up on the deck. She grabbed Lee’s arm, stopping her. “No, you didn’t. Our lives revolved around your life. You never considered me in any of the decisions we made. I never got a say as to where we lived, how we spent our money, what car to buy, even what the hell we were going to have for dinner. You dictated it all.”
“You should’ve said something.”
“I tried, but you bulldozed over me. After a while I gave up. It was easier than having my feelings hurt all the time.”
Lee studied her. “You’re just saying this to hurt me.”
“There you go. It’s all about you,” Jenna said. She took a step closer to Lee. Her rage boiled over and she poked her finger in Lee’s chest. “I am so sick of everything about you.” She gave Lee another poke. “I cannot believe that I wasted one damn second being sad and hurt.” She poked again. Lee’s face reddened and she stumbled backwards a few steps, tottering on the edge of the deck. Jenna continued, “I thought that I was never good enough for you and now I know I am so much better.” Poke. “You’re shallow and selfish and egotistical and I hope your vagina rots off.” And with that Jenna gave Lee a shove. Lee fell off the deck and landed flat on her back. She didn’t move.
Jenna’s heart rate skyrocketed. What had she done? What if Lee had fallen on a rock and broken her back? Then she’d have to take care of her forever—feeding her, bathing her, wiping her butt—a life sentence for one moment of anger. Jenna hopped off the deck and knelt down beside Lee. “Are you all right?”
“No, I’m not all right. I just fell four feet off the deck.”
“It’s not four feet,” Jenna said. She looked at the deck. “More like a foot.”
“I don’t know if I can move,” Lee said. She groaned theatrically.
Jenna didn’t know whether to believe her or not. “You need to tell me the truth, for once in your life. Are you hurt?”
“I’m frickin’ paralyzed,” Lee said, sitting up on her elbows.
“You’re lying right now. You’re obviously not paralyzed,” Jenna said.
“You make me so mad sometimes,” Lee said. She swooped her arm around the back of Jenna’s legs and brought her crashing down. Lee rolled on top of her, pinning her arms down with both hands. “Now, you listen to me and listen good. I did not sleep with Brunila until after I left you. We hung out together, but you never inquired into my daily activities so, technically, I didn’t lie about being with her and I didn’t cheat on you. Do you understand?”
“I’ll never understand you,” Jenna said through clenched teeth. She struggled to get out from under her but Lee was bigger and stronger.
“I made a mistake. I want to make amends. I’ve gone to great difficulty to make you see that and this is the thanks I get,” Lee said.
“You’re insane. None of this e
ven makes sense. We are over!” Jenna screamed. She gave one last wiggle and managed to break free. She squirmed out from under Lee and was almost to her feet before Lee grabbed her foot. She yanked and Jenna fell. They rolled on top of one another, over and over.
They were so busy screaming at each other and rolling around in the dirt and pine needles that they didn’t see the green Forest Service truck pull up behind Jenna’s car.
A tall, lean, Amazon of a woman wearing a ranger hat, well-fitting jeans, and heavy work boots stepped out of the truck. She slammed her truck door shut and it emitted a loud bang that reverberated through the mountainside.
Lee and Jenna froze. They looked wide-eyed at the ranger.
The ranger strode over to them. Her dark brown eyes flickered with amusement. “I just have one question for you all.”
Lee and Jenna sat up and waited.
“Are you mating or fighting?” the ranger asked.
Jenna stood up quickly. “She’s holding me here against my will. You need to make her give me my motor-thingie so I can start my car.”
“That’s all well and good, but first we need to discuss that unauthorized fire you had going. Are you aware that the fire warning is rated high because of the dry forests?” the ranger asked.
“Well, of course I’m aware. I was very responsible with my signal fire,” Jenna said.
“Signal fire, huh? So what about the one you got going inside?” the ranger asked. She pointed to the cabin door where smoke poured out.
“The bacon!” Lee said, scrambling for the door.
“I was making breakfast before all this happened,” Jenna said, apologetically. They heard Lee clanging around inside.
“I best go check on that,” the ranger said. “You stay put.” She strode inside the cabin.
One minute later, Jenna heard the whoosh of a fire extinguisher. The smoke trickled to a stop.
The ranger and Lee came out of the cabin smelling smoky, but unharmed. “Nothing to worry about just some minor clean up. You always burn breakfast like that?” the ranger asked Jenna.
Jenna didn’t meet her eye. “Not usually. But I’m not much of a cook.”
“I see. Why don’t we have a little talk?” the ranger asked. She removed her hat and fanned herself revealing her face. She had a long dark braid running down her back, sculpted cheek bones and full lips.
Jenna watched Lee who couldn’t take her eyes off the woman. It was so typical, but what did it matter now?
The ranger pointed at Lee. “You start.”
Lee glanced over at Jenna who scowled, but didn’t interrupt. She was interested in seeing what sort of spin Lee could put on the kidnapping.
“I was trying to win her back,” Lee said. “I thought maybe if we spent some time away from other distractions, we’d be able to patch up our differences. I guess I was wrong.”
“I see,” the ranger said. “Your turn,” she said to Jenna.
They waited in silence. Lee stared at Jenna with what looked like pleading. “I was angry with her for cheating on me and then leaving me without so much as a goodbye.”
“I left a note,” Lee interjected.
The ranger looked over at Lee and said, “A note? That’s pretty harsh.”
“I know that now,” Lee said, looking penitent.
“So why’d you come up here with her if you were still mad?” the ranger asked Jenna.
That was the million-dollar question. Jenna didn’t answer.
“She’s thinking,” Lee told the ranger. “When she gets quiet like that it means she thinking real hard and doesn’t want to be interrupted.”
Well, if anything had come out of this it was that Lee learned that being quiet could mean thinking. Maybe Jenna had helped the lesbian nation by sending out a new and improved ex-girlfriend.
“I…” she stopped. They waited. “I needed to make her understand that we have to move on. That our getting back together would never work. I guess I set the signal fire so someone would come along and make us stop trying.” And then seeing it might not be a sufficient reason for engaging the Forest Service she said, “And my car wouldn’t start.”
They all turned when they heard the rumbling of an engine and the crunch of oversized tires on the dirt road.
“Oh, yes, yes, yes!” Jenna said, jumping up and down. “That’s Taylor’s Land Rover.”
Sure enough, Taylor pulled in behind the Forest Service truck. Dale, Taylor, and Brooklyn got out. Jenna ran and jumped into Brooklyn’s waiting arms. Brooklyn lifted Jenna off the ground and kissed her.
“I thought I’d lost you,” Brooklyn said.
Taylor walked up to Lee, grabbed her shirt collar and shook her. “I don’t know what the hell you thought you were doing, but you pull a stunt like this again and I will get you deported.”
“I’m an American citizen,” Lee said, trying to pull away.
“Taylor has friends in high places,” the ranger said. “If she wants you deported—you’ll be deported.”
“You know her?” Lee asked.
“How do you think I found you two?” the ranger asked.
“Taylor knows all the fire lookouts from fishing. She knew you couldn’t have taken Jenna very far,” Dale said.
“We had the fire lookouts watch for any unusual activity,” the ranger said. “Like a pine needle hibachi fire in the early morning.”
Brooklyn put Jenna down but hung a possessive arm over her shoulders. She scowled at Lee.
Jenna looked up at Brooklyn. “I want you to know, I didn’t sleep with her.”
“I know you didn’t,” Brooklyn said. She kissed her.
“Let Lee go, honey,” Dale said to Taylor who still had Lee by the collar.
Taylor obliged, but still glared at Lee menacingly. She turned to the ranger. “Hey Terry, tell the girls thanks for the help. And you’ll get free fishing for life.”
“I’ll be taking you up on that,” Terry the ranger said. She walked back to her truck, threw them a wave, and drove away.
Lee spoke first. “Jenna, call I talk to you a minute?”
“Sure,” Jenna said, feeling charitable now that Brooklyn was here.
“Alone?”
Jenna and Lee walked a few feet away from the others. Lee cleared her throat and said, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. For everything.”
“I accept your apology, but you have to promise to leave me alone forever.”
There was a pause. “I promise. But if this thing with Brooklyn doesn’t work out, I get the first shot at your heart. ”
“It’s going to work out,” Jenna said. “Believe me.”
“That’s what I was afraid of,” Lee said. “Sorry I kidnapped you.” Lee walked over to Brooklyn and said, “I know I can’t exactly make this up to you, but how about you and Jenna use this cabin? You can stay here the rest of the week if you want?”
Brooklyn looked to Jenna. Jenna nodded her head. Brooklyn said, “Really?”
“Sure. There’s enough food and stuff. You two have fun.” Lee walked to Taylor’s car and crawled in the back.
“I guess that’s our cue to go,” Dale said. She winked at Jenna. “Have fun and don’t worry about anything.”
“Call us when you get back to town,” Taylor said.
Lee shouted, “By the way, the motor-thingie is in the Crisco can in the cabinet.”
Brooklyn and Jenna watched them leave.
“You know what I want to do?” Jenna asked.
“No, what?”
“I want to take a shower.”
“And?”
“Eat breakfast,” Jenna said coyly.
“And?”
“Go for a hike?”
“Wrong answer,” Brooklyn teased.
“Go fishing?”
“Wrong.”
“Swim in the lake?”
“Wrong again.”
Jenna opened the cabin door and walked inside. “Make love to you?”
“Now you’re talking,” Br
ooklyn said as she entered the cabin. She took Jenna in her arms as the door swung shut behind them.
The End
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About the Authors
Layce Gardner is a screenwriter, a novelist, and a playwright. Her plays have been performed around the world and she is the recipient of The Los Angeles Drama Logue Award for Best Playwrighting. She has written screenplays for every major television network and her movie “Prison of Secrets” was Lifetime’s highest rated movie. She is the Goldie award-winning author of the novel, Tats. She is one half of a dynamic comedy writing duo with her wife, Saxon Bennett. Together, they have written over 47 novels and short stories.
Saxon Bennett is the author of over twenty novels and numerous short stories. She has won two Goldie awards, the Alice B. Reader award for body of work, and is one half of the best-selling comedic duo Layce Gardner & Saxon Bennett.
Follow the authors’ blogs at: Laycegardner.com and Saxonbennett.wordpress.com
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