I check and there are people staring at me. I take another big gulp of my tea. Then Annika stiffens.
“Great,” she mutters. But when Matt stops at our table he ignores her.
“Hey, Lani! I hear everyone recommending your yoga class! Your teaching made quite an impression.”
“Fuck you too,” I say sweetly.
He laughs and shakes his head. “Kyle’s really helped you a lot, you know. You don’t take any shit now.”
“Not from either of you jerks,” I say, annoyed. I push off from the table and exchange a sympathetic glance with Annika. Men are assholes, we agree silently. I leave them to it and walk back to my room to shower and brood and pine.
The only question is: how long can I hold out? In my mind I hear Kyle’s voice growling at me to come to him. I see his bare chest tantalizing me before he turns away, then his sexy butt as he leaves. I’m mad at him, but still hot and bothered. And we need to figure this thing out.
I drag my unruly body through the weekend, feeling—and probably looking—like a wreck. Weirdly, though, I’m still getting attention just from teaching that one class outdoors. A guy in my dorm even asked me out. I must have looked at him like he had lost his mind because he retreated before I could say much. Girls were asking me about yoga too and my R.A. wanted to know if I’d teach a class for our floor one evening. She offered me some money from the events fund so I agreed.
I pick up my phone to text Kyle fifty times a day, but I stop myself each time. I even compose them in my head:
WTF, you blockhead! Look how you fucked things up!
or
OK, I know you’re sorry! just tell me already—
or
Are you dying a slow lingering death by torture? Like I am?
or
Are you ok? Please tell me you’re ok!
Or even just,
Pleeeeeeze meet me in the quad tonight! I can’t bear any more!
But it felt lame to approach him by text. Come to me, he had said. When you’re ready. Ready for sex? Check! Ready to figure out what all these intense feelings mean? Not so sure. Gah!
Come Sunday night there are hours of jittery restlessness to go before I sleep, to paraphrase Robert Frost very, very loosely. Reluctantly I walk to the full-length mirror on my closet door and evaluate what I see: a slender young woman of indeterminate ethnicity with long tangled hair, shadowed eyes, and a droopy mouth in a tank top and saggy-butt sweatpants. Enough, Lani! Time to snap out of it.
When I get to Kyle’s door I’m showered, calm, and dressed in my usual spring wardrobe—skinny jeans and a soft cotton tee shirt. If my winter wear is one kind of camouflage then my dance and yoga clothes are another--they are costumes I can hide behind when I have to perform. Now I’m trying out my everyday Lani outfit: this is just me. I hope the clothes won’t stay on long, but suddenly I’m nervous. I hadn’t warned Kyle I was coming over. What if he’s busy? What if he’s with a girl? Stomach lurching, I almost turn away when the door opens suddenly and a skinny dark-skinned guy emerges. He looks just as startled as I am, but then he grins.
“You must be Lani! I’m Mitchell and I’m on my way out. Kyle,” he hollers back into the suite, holding the door for me to enter. “You’ve got company!” He turns to wink at me and whispers, “Good luck!”
He leaves me standing alone in the middle of Kyle’s living room. I wet my lips nervously. He knew who I was. What does that mean?
“What the—?” Kyle is tying the string on his sweatpants as he enters but freezes when he sees me. For a long moment we just drink each other in because it’s been thirty-six hours—thirty-six goddamn hours, goddammit! as he would say—since we’ve seen each other. His sweatpants are riding low on his hips, his tee shirt is stretched across his chest, his eyes are on me and I’m being pulled, pulled, pulled toward him. But we need to exchange at least a few words first.
“I was an asshole,” he says finally. His voice is quiet and I feel better already. Another beat. “I’m sorry, Lani.” Even better now. His expression is guarded, but he sounds sincere. He still doesn’t move.
“Okay then,” I say, stepping toward him. I give him a little push toward the sofa and he collapses back onto it as if unsteady on his feet.
“That’s it?” He searches my face. I nod and climb onto his lap to straddle him. He exhales and his hands come up to my hips, but he’s still looking anxiously into my eyes.
“You don’t want to know why?” His thumbs are making little circling motions on my hips and I’m intensely conscious of them, even through my jeans. My body is going into sensory overload from the feel of his body beneath mine. I struggle to stay with this conversation.
“I know why. You need to get laid. Badly. So do I. We need to work on the benefits part of our partnership.”
He groans and I feel the tension thrumming through his body. “You’re so hot and now I’m going to have competition.”
He’s mumbling, but I hear him and smile, shaking my head. His gaze darts to mine, still worried, and his hands tighten on my hips.
I press a very soft kiss on his mouth and my hair falls forward. “You’re an idiot,” I whisper, so relieved to be here with him that I’m willing to be indulgent.
His eyes narrow and I can see some of his confidence returning. I didn’t realize how badly shaken he was, but now I know just how to distract him. I brush another kiss against his mouth, shifting in his lap. I hear his breathing hitch and his eyes darken and start to roam over me hungrily.
I pull my tee shirt off and he sucks in a deep breath. He rambles something incoherent about “so sexy…all that…golden…” as I wrestle his shirt off him. I’m catching my breath, tentatively running my hands up all that warm smooth skin, when I think I hear him say “peaches.” I choke on a laugh and he drags his eyes to my face, startled. The desire on his face knocks the breath out of me and I raise shaky hands to his face.
“Kyle,” I say, leaning in to lick at his mouth. His tongue sneaks out to play with mine and he grunts. “Shut up,” I finish desperately.
Then it’s like all hell breaks loose between us because his mouth and hands are all over me and my bra comes off and I’m mindless with need, trying to get our pants off, but I can’t do that unless I stop grinding against him, which I don’t seem able to do.
All of a sudden he flips me onto my back on the sofa and hovers over me, looking feverish. He starts to pull off my jeans and I lift my hips to help when my arching back brings him, groaning, back to my breasts, licking and sucking and deliciously teasing. I’m burning up, clutching his muscled back with one hand and reaching into his loose pants to stroke his hard length with the other.
“Kyle! Ohmigod, so good, so good. Jeans, my jeans! Ohmigod—condoms!” I’m hardly coherent either, but this new thought pierces my sensual fog. “Condoms!” I wail. “I didn’t bring one. You have them?”
And the fate of the world could have hung on this question for the seriousness with which we both suddenly try to grapple with it. I can almost see the wheels spinning behind Kyle’s wild eyes. He nods finally, still panting.
“Go! Now! Get them!” I shout, shoving at him. He stumbles away and is instantly back, but I’ve managed to drag off my jeans and panties during the brief intermission and now, apparently, he’s transfixed by my nakedness.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Kyle! Admire me later! Just fuck me now!”
That must have broken through his daze because he even laughs before he rips open a foil packet and shoves off his pants before rolling a condom on. I’m watching avidly and it all feels like slow motion to my sped-up body. Blood rushes through my veins and heat races across my skin. I’m wet and swollen and tender and about ready to burst with wanting. And he’s so beautiful—everywhere. The slide of his warm, solid body against mine makes us both shudder and I part my legs eagerly, holding his gaze. He touches me there first, exploring, then easing one finger inside me. I arch into him.
“Lani—“ he says ho
arsely, watching my face as he moves his finger in and out, dragging his thumb over my clit. “So wet—so soft.”
“Please!” I manage, panting.
“God, yes!”
Our eyes and limbs are locked together when he enters me, and we both moan before our mouths meet too. Then we can’t help moving together, slowly at first in a sort of dazed wonder, then faster and more desperately. It’s too good, too much—then I realize I’ve gasped that out loud.
“Kyle!” I cry out, clinging to him as sensation overwhelms me. His eyes widen as he watches me fall apart, my whole body convulsing. Then he’s falling with me and everything’s blissfully right with the world.
11
Kyle
That was… That was… I rest my face against Lani’s neck, breathing hard. I lick her warm skin and she tastes salty with sweat and sex. She’s trembling, her legs still tight around my hips. I can’t move yet. I can’t even finish that sentence. It was….
I give up.
I know I’m supposed to do something so I try to shift position. Lani makes a crazy sound though and shakes her head so hard her hair ends up a sexy tangled mess. She tightens around me—everywhere—and I groan against her skin. But I don’t move. I’m not an idiot. Usually.
She turns her head to look at me, and I see one golden eye, ringed with dark lashes and shining like one of those tiger-ish stones. I see her lips twitch and she’s so close I can see the tiny lines crisscrossing her smooth skin. I raise a hand to brush the hair out of her face and mine. I’m aware of the mess I have to clean up though so very carefully I disentangle my limbs from hers and stagger off to get rid of the evidence. When I come back she still looks adorably dazed and boneless so I scoop her up and do some more staggering toward my room and my bed.
“Too much for you?” she murmurs. Her voice tickles my neck.
I grunt and lay her down carefully on the bed, where she pulls me down next to her. I’m not sure what to say, but I don’t want her to leave. She’s naked and smiling in my bed and I’m not nearly done with her.
“Guess what?” I prop myself up on an elbow so I can enjoy the view. Her long dark hair fans out around us and she’s perfect—slender and strong and soft in all the right places.
“Mmm?” and damn if she isn’t checking me out too, which is hot as hell. I tug on a loose strand of hair to get her eyes back on my face.
“I forgot to tell you I got the paper back. B-fucking-plus!” I’m proud as shit.
“Whaaat?” she shrieks. “Not even an A minus? Who’s your teacher?” She looks genuinely indignant.
“You kidding me?! What, you only get A’s?” It’s weird to be joking and talking about normal stuff when we’ve just had mind-blowing sex and we’re naked in bed. But it’s kind of nice. One of her feet rubs up and down my calf.
She wrinkles her nose. “Yeah—except for the science course that tanked my whole GPA. And I took astronomy for airheads too.”
I laugh and keep playing with her hair because it’s really silky. “Science is easy. No writing, no touchy-feely shit.”
“You don’t like touchy-feely, hmm?” She starts making circles on my chest with one fingernail.
I’m amused. “Who knew you were such a flirt?”
“You did.“ She smiles and looks up at me through her lashes. “But don’t worry. We’ll go slow next time.” She kisses my jaw and I had no idea I could get hard again so fast. I want to press into her but it’s as if she can read my mind.
“Slow!” she repeats, pulling away. I groan and flop onto my back, crossing my arms under my head so I’m not tempted to use them.
She rolls to face me, careful not to touch now. She looks plenty though. After a long minute of this I’m sizzling.
“Do you even realize those sounds you’re making?” I demand. She looks so startled that I laugh. “You whimper when you look at me.” I’m not making that up either.
“I do not!” Her eyes fly to mine.
“Uh huh! Your tongue is practically hanging out—“ She’s so fun to tease.
She frowns, then changes gears. “Like this?” She says, running the tip of her tongue back and forth over her sweet, pouty lower lip. I groan and have to focus hard on not grabbing her. We’re breathing pretty fast now, but I can tell we both enjoy this. The anticipation. All that leisurely time spent just kissing worked for both of us. So I don’t push. I wait.
“Tell me about your girlfriends—“
“What? NOW?” I’m incredulous. “I mean, what girlfriends?” I correct quickly.
“Ha, ha,” she says, running a hand through her hair. I don’t think I can get any hotter for her.
“I’ll tell you about mine—“ she wheedles. Aaannd I was wrong.
“What?” I choke, brain spinning.
“You first,” she insists. Her eyes are dancing, and she might be laughing at me.
I glower at her, struggling to control myself through this waiting game. “Uh. I went out with someone in high school. Nothing serious. Then someone else for a while sophomore year. Then it just kind of…fizzled out. No harm, no foul. But it’s easier to go to a party and just hook up with someone.” Is that what she wanted to hear? What am I supposed to say? This feels like quicksand to me, but she looks calm.
She nods. “I get that. I’ve gone on some dates here, but nothing serious.”
“With guys,” I confirm carefully.
“Yes,” she says and she still has that sexy gleam of amusement and mischief in her eyes. “But through senior year of high school I was involved with a girl.”
“You’re fucking with me.”
“Nope.” She’s studying me with those alert, amazing eyes of hers, still running her hand through her hair. I struggle to process her words.
“What’s the matter, Kyle?” Her voice is soft but there’s just the tiniest hint of uncertainty in it, which I don’t like. I break the embargo on touching and tangle my fingers with hers.
“You’re making me nervous,” I admit, reluctantly. I can’t quite look her in the eye. Suddenly she seems so much more…mature than I feel, so secure in her own skin, so poised and…just better than me. Better than the roiling mass of anger and confusion that is me. Though I knew that already. I shake my head. Has she changed so much or have I? Was she ever really a pushover? And how the hell am I going to hold on to her? Her fingers squeeze mine as she waits for me to continue.
“I’m glad I didn’t know about the girlfriend before. I would have worried about trying to compete with a chick.” I want to sound like I’m joking but I guess I don’t pull it off because Lani doesn’t laugh. She leans in to press tiny kisses on my mouth.
“You’d be less jealous of another guy, huh?” Her face hovers over mine and her hair frames us like a curtain.
I shift uncomfortably. “I’m not jealous! I’m just….” I can’t think of another word.
“Insecure?” She suggests, brushing against my mouth.
Damn her! “Weirded out,” I say finally. I don’t understand my reaction at all, in fact. I should be making frat boy jokes about girl-on-girl action and pressing for details. Instead I feel rattled. I know how to deal with ex-boyfriends. Or at least, I know the script. But I don’t know the script for ex-girlfriends. I feel that awful question echoing in my head again: what does this mean?
“It’s okay, Kyle.”
She says that too much. I’m sucking her into my black hole of neediness. I squeeze my eyes shut so I don’t have to see her looking sympathetic or understanding or…God help me...pitying. She won’t want to deal with me and she’ll leave.
“I could reassure you.” She runs a hand down my chest and I think yes, please. I’m embarrassed by how desperately I want her to reassure me with her touch, distract me with her body. “But you know what I worry about?”
Goddammit, why isn’t her mouth on my dick by now? I don’t want words. I can’t do words right now.
“I’m afraid that we’ll start dating and people will wonder
what you see in such a nobody.”
My eyes snap open. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re so sexy and outspoken and I’m so quiet and…ordinary.” She’s looking away from me.
“If you’re trying to distract me from my real, serious worries you better come up with something better than that,” I snort. But she doesn’t say anything. “That’s ridiculous, Lani.”
She nods. “I know. Other people’s worries always are.” She looks at me then and holy shit it feels intimate. Like sex all over again.
I inhale deeply. “Got it. Have we delayed long enough yet?” My heart is hammering as my eyes move downward over Lani’s sexy nakedness. She nods, biting her lip.
“Then I guess I’ll have to reassure you.” With one hand I trace the smooth golden curves of her hip, down a silky thigh, then move back up to finger the silver hoop at her navel. From there I have to run a fingertip under the curve of each breast before spiraling around it to circle a taut dark nipple. She gasps, her lips parting as she watches me.
“You’re perfect,” I whisper. I lean forward to taste her and she nearly arches off the bed. “And,” I murmur with satisfaction as I tease her, “so sensitive.”
“Can I reassure you too?” she pants, and I hide a smile against her bare skin.
“Sure.” And then it’s my turn to gasp as her soft hands roam all over me. This time we do take it slow and it feels incredible and special and serious.
12
Lani
“Whose bright idea was this anyway?” Kyle grumbles and drags his feet so I have to tug at his hand again. The shortcut across the quad takes us through a grassy lawn and I stumble as my high heels sink into the damp ground.
“Yours!” I laugh as he steadies me. “You want me to practice getting attention, right? You said you would take me to a party and give me, and I quote, ‘the right amount of attention’.” We’ve had this exact conversation several times this week and I’m still amused by his about-face.
The Partnership (Extra Credit Book 1) Page 8