by Amy Clipston
Linda closed her eyes and began to pray for the Ebersol family, asking God to heal their estranged relationships—and also to mend Aaron’s broken heart.
FOUR
Linda pushed her grocery cart toward the produce section at the market. Once there, she examined her list, checked off the items she’d already gathered, and then reviewed what she had left to find.
“Which ones do you like better?”
Linda heard the question and ignored it. Of course the person speaking wasn’t addressing her.
“Linda?”
Her head snapped up when she heard her name, and she gasped when she saw Aaron. He was holding two bouquets of flowers.
“Oh, no.” He laughed, and she was in awe of how much she enjoyed the warm, rich sound. “Have I managed to startle you again?”
“Hi,” she said with a nervous chuckle. “I didn’t see you.”
She knew her cheeks were red, and she wanted to crawl under her cart. Why did she always blush when a man spoke to her, especially a handsome man like Aaron? She longed to be more confident and comfortable around male acquaintances, but she couldn’t seem to overcome her shyness.
“I’m really sorry.” He took a step toward her as a woman wove through the crowd of shoppers, threatening to push between them. “You must be tired of running into me, huh?”
“No.” She hoped her cheeks would cool down soon. “I was surprised I didn’t see you at breakfast. Did you get an early start?”
“Yeah, I did. I have a lot on my mind and decided to take a walk around a local park to sort some things out. It was cold, but I think it helped. I’m heading over to my parents’ farm now.” He held up the bouquets. “I thought my mamm might like some flowers to brighten her day. Which bouquet do you like better? The one with more roses or the one with more carnations?”
Linda looked at the flowers while considering the question. “I think I like the one with the carnations better. I like the pink in it.”
He raised an eyebrow. “So you like pink?”
Linda shrugged. “Ya, I do. It’s pretty.”
“Great. Pink it is.” He grinned. “I’m glad I ran into you. You seem to give great advice, and I needed your expertise.”
“Danki.” Linda was flabbergasted by the compliment. Although she still felt insecure, she enjoyed the positive feedback. “Have you seen your dat yet?”
“No.” His smile faded. “I haven’t.”
“What about your bruder?” she asked.
“No, I haven’t seen him either.” Aaron studied the flowers as if he was avoiding looking at her. “I thought it would be easier to talk to my mamm alone first, so I left yesterday before either of them came in from their work.”
“Don’t be afraid to talk to them,” Linda said. “I know they will be overjoyed you’re home.”
“Thanks.” He smiled again and then pointed at the contents of her grocery cart. “Well, I guess I’d better let you finish your shopping. Do you need a ride home?”
“Oh, no danki. Hannah and I are shopping together, and Trey is next door at the hardware store. He’s going to take us home.” She clasped the grocery cart handle. “Have a gut day. Tell Ruth I’m thinking of her and will come visit her soon.”
“I will. Have a great day too.” He smiled again and then moved toward the floral display.
Linda smiled as he walked away, chose the produce on her list, and then pushed her cart toward the dairy aisle in search of Hannah.
Hannah plucked a package of cheese from the display and placed it in her basket. When she looked up and saw a young Amish woman pushing a cart nearby, she gasped. She was certain it was her estranged daughter, Lillian. After living as a widow for nearly a decade, Hannah had left the Amish community and opened a bed-and-breakfast with her new husband, Trey. When she’d left, two of her children, Amanda and Andrew, had come with her and also become English. Lillian, however, had remained in the community with her paternal grandparents.
Hannah had prayed over and over that Lillian would accept her decision to leave the Amish church and forgive her. She longed to have her daughter back in her life, especially now that Hannah was expecting her new baby in the spring.
As she cautiously moved toward Lillian, her heart nearly burst with excitement at the possibility of having a conversation with her. Perhaps this would be the day Lillian would finally talk to her, really talk to her, the way a mother and daughter should. Hannah missed Lillian so much that her heart ached daily.
“Lily?” Hannah called.
Lillian met her gaze, and her eyes widened. Hannah expected her to flee, but instead, she stood still, resembling a statue, while other shoppers guided their carts around her.
Encouraged, Hannah walked to her side. “How are you?”
Lillian shrugged. “I’m all right. How are you?”
“I’m doing well.” Hannah smiled. So far, this was already the most pleasant conversation they’d had since Hannah left the community, causing Lillian to feel abandoned. Lillian hadn’t instantly backed away, and the tension in Hannah’s shoulders lifted slightly, and she rushed to tell Lillian what was on her heart.
“It’s really gut to see you. Amanda and Andrew talk about you all the time, and we’d love for you to come visit us and see the bed-and-breakfast. I think you’d really like it.”
Lillian pushed her glasses further up on the bridge of her nose. “Yes, I know. You’ve told me all that before. But teaching keeps me very busy. I’m only here to get some supplies for a special project. My assistant is taking care of the class, but I have to get back to the school soon.”
“Oh, I understand. The bed-and-breakfast keeps us busy too. We have guests coming and going all the time.” Hannah found herself babbling just to keep the conversation with her daughter going. “We have couples visit from all over the United States. You have to come and see how Trey and I have decorated the house. I think you’d agree that it’s a nice mixture of Plain and English. It’s very cozy.”
Lillian’s eyes moved down Hannah’s body and she gaped. “I didn’t realize how far along you are.”
“I know. It’s going quickly. The boppli will be here in the spring.” Hannah’s hand instinctively rubbed her protruding abdomen. “I want you to be a part of our new family. You’re still my family, Lily. I miss you.”
“I don’t know how to be a part of your new family.” Lillian shook her head and gripped the handle on her cart. “I just can’t. I need to go now. I can’t be late.”
“Please don’t go.” Hannah reached for Lillian’s arm, and Lillian pulled it away. “It breaks my heart not to have you in my life anymore. We all miss you. Please consider giving me a chance. I left the church, but I never wanted to lose you too.”
“You left me,” Lillian whispered. “You left me and never looked back.”
“You know that isn’t true. We’ve been through this over and over.”
“Hannah. There you are!” Linda rushed over and smiled at Lillian. “Hi, Lily. How are you?”
Lillian nodded. “Hi, Linda. I’m fine. Danki.” She began to push her cart and turned back to her mother. “I need to go. Give my love to Amanda and Andrew. Tell them I want to see them soon.”
“Lily, please,” Hannah pleaded with her. “Please consider coming to visit. I’ll make tea and a carrot cake, your favorite, and we can sit down and have a nice, long talk. It can be just you and me. Please think about it.”
Lillian’s lower lip trembled. “I need to go.” She nodded at Linda once more and started down the aisle.
“I’m so sorry.” Linda touched Hannah’s arm. “I interrupted you, didn’t I?”
“Oh, no.” Hannah smiled. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Something felt different this time. I felt like I was reaching Lily because she listened to me. She almost seemed like she wanted to talk to me.”
“That’s wunderbaar. Maybe she’s starting to realize how much you want her in your life.”
“I hope so. I’m doing ever
ything I can to make her realize I love her and I need her.” Hannah sighed. “I’m not going to give up hope. Someday I’ll have my whole family again.”
Linda smiled. “Ya, I believe you will.”
Aaron stepped into his parents’ house through the front door and said hello to Jocelyn, who had once again answered the door. He thought he heard voices talking away in Pennsylvania Dutch on the other side of the house.
“Does my mother have company?” he asked the nurse.
“Oh, a couple of women are here taking care of the laundry,” Jocelyn said. “Someone comes nearly every day to help out around the house. They are so sweet. I think it’s amazing how the community comes together to help families. The rest of us should take a lesson from the Amish. They know what community means.” She motioned toward the family room. “Your mom is in here.” She lowered her voice before going on. “She’s been looking forward to your visit. You’re all she talks about.”
Aaron held the flowers behind him as he stepped into the family room, where his mother sat in her wheelchair, holding a hand weight. “Hi, Mamm.”
“A-aron!” Mamm beamed as she reached up with her left hand. “G-gut to s-see you.”
He leaned down and kissed her cheek, then held out the flowers. “These are for you.”
“D-danki.” She smelled the blossoms and smiled. “So schee.”
“May I put those in a vase for you, Mrs. Ebersol?” Jocelyn offered.
“Ya. D-danki.” Aaron handed her the flowers and Jocelyn headed for the kitchen.
He sat down on the sofa, which was nearest his mother. “So how are you today?”
“G-gut.” Ruth held up a hand weight. “W-w-work.” She put it down on her lap and touched his leg. “T-tell me a-b-b-b . . .” She closed her eyes and moved her lips as her face turned red with frustration.
“It’s okay, Mamm. Stay calm.” Aaron pulled off his coat and set it down next to him. “Did you want to hear about my life?” He took her hand in his.
She opened her eyes and nodded as relief covered her expression.
“Okay. Well, I worked in construction when I first moved to Missouri, and then my friend Zac and I opened up our own business about seven years ago. We mostly do home improvement type projects. It was busy for a while and then work fell off when the economy tanked. But things started picking up again. We’ve been really busy lately, and I’m thankful.”
“Oh.” Mamm nodded slowly. “F-fam-ily?”
“Do I have a family?” he asked, clarifying the question. She nodded, and he said, “No.” Aaron folded his arms over his chest.
Mamm’s expression fell again. “N-no f-family?”
Jocelyn returned with the vase of flowers and set it on the coffee table in front of the sofa. “Would you like something to drink?” she offered.
“Oh, no thank you,” Aaron said.
Jocelyn turned to his mother. “We need to get back to your exercises shortly, okay? Your therapist expects us to keep up with them, and I have to leave in a little bit to visit my other patients.”
His mother nodded. “Ya.”
Jocelyn smiled at him before heading back to the kitchen.
His mother immediately turned her focus back on him. “N-n-no fa-fami-ly?” Her eyes were full of confusion, as if she couldn’t fathom the idea that Aaron was alone.
“No, I don’t.” He ran his fingers over the arm of the sofa. “No family.”
“L-lonely?” she asked.
“No. I thought about getting a dog, but my landlord doesn’t allow pets.” He tried to lighten the mood by chuckling, but his mother continued to stare at him. He could feel her disappointment filling the air in the room. “I work a lot, so I really don’t have time to meet many people. I love my work, but it’s a very demanding job. I have plenty of things to do, and I don’t mind spending the evening at home alone while working on paperwork. Owning a company is a huge commitment, but I enjoy the work. I love the satisfaction when the customer tells me I’ve done a good job.”
“Be-dauer-lich.” The word was garbled, but he understood what she was trying to say. Her lower lip trembled, and he hoped she wouldn’t cry.
“It’s okay, Mamm.” He leaned forward and touched her hand again. “I stay busy so I don’t even think about it.” He was lying to his mother, but how could he admit that sometimes he loathed the lonely nights in his apartment? He didn’t want to further upset her. He couldn’t stand to see her cry. He needed to change the subject, and his thoughts drifted to his brief encounter with Linda at the grocery store. “I saw Linda Zook today.”
“Oh?” Mamm’s eyes lit up.
“Yes, I did. She sends her regards. She was at the grocery store when I stopped to get your flowers. She actually helped me pick these out for you.” He gestured toward the vase. “Linda has good taste.”
His mother chuckled, and he felt his mood brighten. It was good to hear her laugh, even if she looked and sounded different than he remembered. Saul had been right. She was still his sweet mother.
“She works at the bed-and-breakfast where I’m staying,” he said in an attempt to keep the conversation going. “I’m staying at the Heart of Paradise Bed-and-Breakfast not far from here. Apparently Trey and Hannah Peterson own it. Trey said you know them.”
“Y-ya,” Mamm said.
“They seem like nice people.”
“Ya.” His mother nodded. “Han-nah . . . A-Amish.”
“Hannah was Amish?” he asked.
Mamm nodded. “L-Linda is s-s-sweet ma-maedel.”
Aaron nodded slowly. “She seems very quiet and shy.”
“Ya.” Mamm started to reach for a cup of water on the coffee table. When she struggled, he handed it to her. She nodded before taking a sip.
“Her parents died in a buggy accident, right?” he asked.
“Ya.” She leaned toward the table, and Aaron helped her place the glass back on it.
“That is so sad,” Aaron said. “I can’t imagine how difficult it was for her to lose her parents that way.” Aaron wondered what Linda’s life had been like growing up without them.
His mother grew quiet and trained her gaze on her lap, and Aaron felt the need to fill the space between them.
“Let me tell you about some of the projects Zac and I have worked on over the years,” he began. “One of my favorites was when we added on a mother-in-law suite for this one family. We had the opportunity to design how the suite would be laid out, and it was really fun. We created an amazing closet that had shelves for shoes and a built-in dresser.”
He detailed some of his most challenging projects over the years, and his mother listened with interest as he talked.
Soon Jocelyn returned and announced that his mother had to get back to her exercises. After pulling on his coat, Aaron told her he’d be back soon, and he kissed her cheek. He said goodbye and then made his way through the kitchen toward the back door. He was grateful the women who had been working in the laundry room earlier weren’t there. He didn’t want anyone asking him how long he was going to stay. The truth was, he had no idea.
But when he stepped out onto the back porch, he saw the women hanging the laundry on the line that ran from the house to the nearest barn. They had their backs to him, which made it easy for him to slip past them. He descended the porch steps and felt again as if he were stepping back in time to his childhood. The line of red barns was just as he’d remembered, and he felt as if he were home. He made his way to the dairy barn and memories assaulted his mind. He recalled running through the fields with friends in the summer and helping his father and brother muck the stalls in the stable. He suddenly missed those days.
Aaron looked toward his brother’s house and his thoughts turned to all he’d missed by leaving. He wondered how his life would’ve been if he hadn’t made the mistake of playing with matches and the bishop’s barn hadn’t burned down. Would he have a family and a home like Solomon’s?
He pushed the thought away as he stepped into
the dairy barn. The aroma of animals and hay covered him as he looked at the rows of cows. More memories came to mind as he thought back to when he helped his father and brother with the animals.
“Aaron?”
Turning, he found his father standing in the doorway behind him. He looked the same as Aaron remembered, except that his hair and beard had turned from dark brown to gray and he had more lines around his blue eyes. Aaron also stood a few inches taller than his father now, and it felt strange to look down on the man who had raised him.
His father’s eyes misted over with tears. “It’s a miracle,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion.
“Dat,” Aaron said, his voice also thick with emotion.
His father rushed over and hugged him. “I couldn’t believe it when your mamm said you’d come to visit. It was like a dream. Our prayers were finally answered.” He smiled and wiped his eyes. “You’re taller than your bruder and me. I can’t believe it. And we thought you’d never make it to my height.”
“I shot up the summer before I turned seventeen.” Aaron cleared his throat. “You look well, Dat.” He thought of his mother. “Mamm is struggling.”
“Ya.” His dad blew out a heavy sigh. “It’s all been such a shock. The stroke came out of nowhere, and now we’re trying to adjust. We’re hoping she’ll regain her strength and learn to walk again. The physical therapist is trying to help strengthen her legs, and another therapist is working on her speech.”
“I always thought Mamm was so strong and nothing would ever happen to her.” A lump constricted his throat. “I just can’t believe she’s so frail now.”
“I know.” Dat touched Aaron’s arm. “She’ll be all right. The Lord will take care of us.” He suddenly smiled. “I can’t believe you’re back. We were so worried about you. We feared something bad had happened to you.”