by S. T. Hill
For a moment, I wondered if I should call her. I even picked up my cell and scrolled down the contacts until I got to her.
Then the prompt came up saying she was typing.
"Whatever," the message said. She signed off right after that.
The tip of my thumb hovered over the green "Call" button on my phone. She was pissed, that much was obvious. But then again, she was also acting a little petulantly. Yeah, she was smart, pretty, and unique. I knew it, she knew it especially. And when being like that didn't get her exactly what she wanted when she wanted, she acted like a jealous little girl on the playground.
Well, if she wanted the silent treatment, she'd get it. I locked my phone and put it back down.
Tonight, I had a date. I got up and started getting everything ready, holding my clothes out in front of the thin full length mirror on the back of my door.
Then again, Adam hadn't really called this a date. He'd simply invited me along to do whatever it was he was apparently already going to do.
I paused. Was this a date? It certainly felt like one. Though who was I to say? I'd still been in high school the last time I went out on one, and that was more than a year ago.
Finally, I resumed getting ready. It had to be a date. What else could it be? He was just being coy was all, trying to play up his mystery. And he did seem to hold all the cards on that, since I'd already shared my big secret with him. Blurted it out in public, as a matter of fact.
I resolved to put all my confusion and self doubt behind me for the night. I shoved the simmering worry about whether I'd hurt Jenn deep down as well.
I really just needed a fun night for myself.
Chapter 17
It was two minutes past nine. I knew because I kept glancing down at my phone, pulling it out of the right front pocket on my jeans.
Great start to my "date." Weren't guys supposed to show up early and wait half an hour for the girl to decide on a pair of shoes or something?
He was lucky in that department. I'd spent the last several hours going through my very modest collection of clothes. I'd picked out a pair of dark blue flats that I thought went well with my navy jeans. They were a good pair of jeans, too, hugging close around the thighs and hips to show that I had some shape down there.
My breath kept fogging up the glass as I peered out into the darkness of the campus. I tried not to think about how, just a hundred feet or so from where i stood at that moment, Eric and his henchman (for lack of a better word) had pinned me to the grass, trying to work my underwear down...
I shook my head, forcing that away. No, tonight was for me, for fun, for enjoying the present moment without the weight of the past and the pressure of the future crushing me from all sides.
I saw him, then, walking up the path with his hands in the pockets of his open jacket. His breath was misting a little as he moved, so I knew it was a good choice to have grabbed a jacket myself.
Shoving open the door, I went out to meet him.
Right away, the cold air prickled at my skin like thousands of needles. I flinched, zipping my jacket. How could he just walk around with his open like that?
"You look nice," he said.
If all my blood hadn't been busy trying to keep all my vital organs warm, I might have blushed.
"Thanks. You look... the same as earlier."
If anything, he looked slightly scruffier. His stubble was a touch longer, and he still wore the same clothes.
"Yeah, yeah... Hey, let's get going."
He didn't offer his hand or arm, instead just turning and walking off down the path. It took a few quick strides to catch up to him. The chill wasn't so bad anymore; I'd had a chance to get used to it.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"Well, I figured now that you know I'm a townie, it'd be fine to take you into Hazelglen. There's a diner just a couple blocks off campus. Best burgers in the world. Though the fries aren't so great."
My stomach gurgled at the mention of food. I hoped he didn't notice, but when I saw his eyes flick over and that smile curve his lips, I knew that he did. How was his hearing so good?
Adam took me around my dorm building, leading me away from that awful spot. In the darkness, the brown bricks of the wall looked black. I trailed my fingers along the hard, rough surface as I the dead grass crunched under my feet.
Perhaps it hadn't been such a good idea to wear flats. The air was cold on top of my feet.
But they looked so nice! Though, Adam didn't really seem to notice either way. What did he think this was? I stole a glance at him. His eyes scanned the darkness ahead, looking at all the dark places where the light from the lamps didn't reach.
Well, he certainly didn't think this was a date. Unless of course they did things differently here in the East.
"This place have a name? The one we're going to?" I said.
The campus got so quiet after dark. It was a dry school, as I remembered signing the no-alcohol clause on my residence agreement, so no bars or anything where the of-age students might grab a drink.
"Bonnie's," Jeff said.
I waited for more. All I got were the sounds of our footsteps and the rhythmic rush of air in and out of our lungs.
The edge of the campus was near. Tall trees guarded the perimeter, giving me only small glimpses out into the town of Hazelglen. This side looked out onto a residential street, the old houses all lit up, glowing from within.
Apprehension filled me as I saw the sidewalk split up ahead. Turning to the right would keep us on school grounds. Staying straight would take us onto the other side, by that street.
I hadn't been off campus since the day I got here. I slowed a little as the cool feeling in my stomach intensified. My lips were dry, and I couldn't seem to wet them again. That chilly breeze blowing through sapped away all the moisture.
Adam noticed as he started pulling ahead of me.
"Don't worry. It'll be fun," he said.
We stopped at the fork in the sidewalk. The trees made a natural arch over it. Right across from us was some great big Victorian century home with a turret and brightly lit porch. A beautiful house. I felt like running away from it.
Maybe, I thought, I should have hung out with Jenn that night after all. My phone was right in my pocket. I could apologize to Adam and give her a call.
"I'm sorry. This is so dumb... I'm just a bit nervous is all."
"It's not dumb. Just trust me on this. You look like you're in need of a good burger. I've seen what they serve at the cafeteria!"
He offered me a smile as he shifted his feet. He jerked his head in the direction of the town.
"Come on. I saved you last time something bad happened, didn't I? I'll do it again, if anything comes up."
I had to nod at that. It was also a bit startling. We hadn't really talked very much about the incident, mostly just skirted around it. But it did put me at ease. If he could handle two frat jerks so easily, what's the worst that could happen in sleepy old Hazelglen?
"All right! You're right; let's do this!"
He gave me a mock salute, which earned him a punch on the arm. We both laughed as we started forwards again.
Though, as we crossed that threshold, I couldn't help feeling a little nervous still.
The town seemed especially dark before I remembered that it was nestled in a valley. The rows of houses on either side of us also helped cut some of the wind. And it was more alive than the campus.
Though one old lady walking her dog, some puffy little white thing more fur than animal, took one look at us and rushed back into her home. She peeked out the front window at us, her eyes following our movement past.
"What's her problem?" I said. I looked down at myself, unable to keep from wondering if I'd only imagined putting on clothes earlier or something.
Adam shrugged, "Let's just say that my family has a reputation around here, and that superstitions are still pretty strong. Bonnie's is just one more block up and to the right. That's Main
Street up there, if you can see it."
I squinted. Yeah, that street up there did seem better lit, and a little broader. A few cars drifted past, their red taillights leaving spots in my eyes as I watched.
I burned to ask him more about this curse. The thought of how he'd look back in the cafe kept me from it, though.
I didn't want to ruin our little outing. I didn't have any more secrets to share with him. My get out of jail free card was already used, and so early in the game, it felt like.
We got to the intersection not long after that. Bonnie's was right across the street, the ground level of some three storey building. A single spotlight directed back at the sign, which was done in swirling crimson cursive letters.
A little bell tinkled over the door as we went in. It felt good to be out of the cold.
"Over here," he said, leading me to a small table along the wall.
I couldn't recall having such a nice conversation with anybody in a long time. It was as though both our guards dropped. We talked about the movies we liked, shows to catch. All those little unimportant things.
There was none of that gravitas, that feeling of importance hanging over every syllable I'd gotten used to in lecture halls. Here, we were just two young people enjoying some burgers, some soda, and some talk.
Some little voice in the back of my mind kept nagging at me to ask him about this curse. I wanted so much to know more about him. Where was his house? Was it a big, creaky old mansion on the outskirts of town? What did his people do for a living; were they all fancy lawyers or something, with him bucking the trend getting a liberal arts degree and earning their eternal ire?
He was in the middle of talking about some movie when I broke in.
"What's your favorite color?"
He had to put down his burger as he frowned at me.
"What? Are we five now or something?" he said.
It was a bit childish, but sometimes children have it right. They're not afraid of being honest, or curious.
"No, it's just that I don't really know much about you. Usually, if you want to be friends with someone, you need to know a little something about who they are," I said.
He tapped the Formica table with his middle finger as he studied the ceiling.
"Red, I guess."
Red? A very boyish answer, very unspecific.
"What do you mean? Like rust, or blood, or crimson, or cherry... For instance, I'm a big fan of navy blue."
He nodded, "Cherry red, I suppose."
There, I knew something about him! Not exactly what I wanted to, but it was a start.
Chapter 18
"Hey kiddos, I'm gonna close up shop in fifteen or so. Fair warning," the waitress said, leaning over the counter as she spoke around a big wad of pink gum.
That was weird. I could have sworn that their sign said they were open until midnight. I pulled out my phone.
"Wow," I said.
"Huh?" Adam replied.
I showed him my phone. We'd been talking for nearly three hours here. It was about ten to midnight. Now that I thought of it, it had been quite a while since I'd seen a car go by outside.
It hadn't felt like nearly that long. Though, when I shifted my butt on the chair, my legs did feel a bit stiff. Like I'd been sitting there, leaned slightly forward, for several hours.
Adam seemed pretty surprised, too.
"Really? Doesn't it feel like we just sat down?" he said.
"I know, right?"
We started to get up. I tried to stretch as quietly as possible, wincing as my back cracked. But again Adam noticed, smiling at me.
"Come on, I'll walk you back to your dorm," he said.
"Good night, guys. Stay safe out there!" the waitress called as she came around the counter to collect our plates.
Despite all the talking we'd just done, the walk along the street towards the campus was quiet. I kept glancing at him, struggling for some topic we hadn't already touched upon.
So instead I looked up. The clouds from earlier were gone. I did like the stars out here. Back in Pasadena, the only time I ever really saw them was during blackouts or brownouts. Light pollution, the called it.
But here, so long as it was overcast, you could see them every single night. They winked and twinkled up there. For a moment, I felt pulled out of myself as I considered them.
They were so tiny, like little pinpricks in a black sheet thrown over a light. I knew that was only my perspective, though. In reality, they were other planets, other stars, other galaxies all whirling away up there. It made me feel so small and insignificant to consider.
However, that wasn't a bad feeling. It was comforting, almost.
I brought my eyes back down to glance at Adam. He looked at the sidewalk a few feet in front of himself, also lost in thought apparently.
It was comforting to be with him, too. It was like it was okay to be myself when I was around him, and it was so rare to find a person like that. Though, since I wasn't even really sure who "my self" was yet, I didn't really know what to think.
As we got closer to that arch of trees over the path back onto the campus, I realized we were only minutes away from my dorm.
My heart skipped as I wondered what would happen when we got there. Had this been a date? If he thought so, was he going to try to kiss me? Did I want him to?
Yes, I decided, I did. Even with all that stubble. My body felt hot, then, despite the breeze.
He was being so quiet, though. Now he had his shoulders hunched over, too, as though he didn't want to be seen with me.
The warm glow I was experiencing started to fade as the cold pressed in on me. Something wasn't right.
"Adam?" I said, moving a little closer to him.
I heard his breathing, then. It sounded different, deeper somehow. The sound made the hairs on the back of my neck stand. Something urged me to leave him there and run, and to not stop until I was safe in my room with the deadbolt in place.
"Are you okay? Was it the burger?"
It had tasted fine to me, and obviously I wasn't sick. Was he trying to be macho or something by hiding it? God, boys could be dumb sometimes.
"No..." he said.
The sound of his voice made me grit my teeth. It was ominous, unnatural. Not his at all. Adrenaline surged through my body, then, leaving me shaking. I fought against the urge to bolt.
"If something's wrong, tell me. Maybe I can help..." I said.
I reached out to touch him on the shoulder. When I did, he jerked. He jumped back away from me, crouching down. Then he looked at me.
Those weren't his eyes. They were feral, animal. They glinted in the light from the nearest lamp.
A sound too much like a growl escaped his throat.
"I can't... Sometimes, I can't control it," he said.
"Adam! What's wrong, tell me!" I said, practically screaming at him.
I rushed in to try and hold him, to try and find out what was wrong, but he shoved his arms out at me. My heart slammed in my chest as my body begged me to run. But I couldn't run; I couldn't leave him in obvious pain out here in the dark.
"No, don't! I can't... I'm sorry!"
He pushed himself to his feet, still holding one hand out to keep my at bay. When he found his balance, he loped off into the darkness.
"Adam!" I said, clutching myself.
I wanted to go after him, but I couldn't make myself. The campus was so dark at night, and I kept having flashes of Eric and Joseph's faces staring down at me. I realized how alone I was out there.
Still hugging myself, I hurried back to my dorm. I kept glancing into the trees and bushes, and tried to avoid the areas of darkness as much as possible. I stayed in the pools of light from the lamps, rushing between them if there was any space.
My heart didn't stop hammering until I was halfway up the stairs in my dorm, listening to the booming echo of my footsteps as I stamped my feet on each step.
I shut my eyes and leaned against my door as I closed it behi
nd me. I saw Adam's glowing eyes looking up at me, projected from my memory, so fresh. Then I flicked on all the lights, even the little lamp on my desk. Shadows were not allowed.
I had to talk to Jenn. I had to apologize to her. I needed her to help me through this.
I opened the laptop too hard and sat down too heavily.
"Come on, come on..." I said, watching the little Windows icon as the computer booted up.
I couldn't wait for my desktop to finish loading. I launched Internet Explorer and went right to Facebook.
Jenn wasn't online. That was weird. Normally, she was quite the night owl. I clicked on her name in the chat bar anyway.
"Call me as soon as you get this," I typed, my finger hovering over the mouse button to send it.
I added, "I'm sorry about today. Let's hang out tomorrow, K?"
I sent it. Then I checked her wall. Her status from about twenty minutes ago said that she'd gone out for a walk to "clear her head of all this college BS."
I pulled my phone out and sent her a text. Five painfully slow minutes ticked by on the laptop's clock. She must still be really pissed at me, I knew. Everything was just so confusing. I needed to talk with her.
So I thumbed the "Call" button on my phone.
It rang five times, then went to voicemail. I tried again.
"Come on, Jenn..."
The same thing.
I thought about going out to find her, but I couldn't rid myself of the image of Adam's eyes, and of his body as he sprinted away from me. Something was terribly wrong with him.
I looked out my window into the darkness, squinting to see through my reflection. It would be easier if I turned the lights off, but the cold fear caressing my spine deflected that idea.
I don't know what I was expecting to see. Maybe Jenn waiting down there for me, or Adam waving for me to come down to say it was all some dumb prank.
But there were only the trees and the shadows. I thought I could make out the next residence building over as a black blob in the distance with a few room lights on, but there was absolutely no one out there.
I went over and sat on my bed, checking my phone to see if there were any missed texts.