by Anna Antonia
The thought excited me as much as it saddened. Perhaps it was too much to hope for, but I was pretty sure Marcus brought me out of the bunker to cheer me up. He’d been concerned over my listlessness. This trip was certainly designed to cure me of it.
Don’t get your hopes up. Even after a month together, you still don’t know this man.
Turning off the taps, I hurriedly dried off and went through my cleaning routine. Once I got into the bedroom and opened up the bags, I let out a little laugh.
Inside was a beautiful, slinky black dress along with lingerie, stockings, and heels. Another smaller bag contained cosmetics, all my colors and brands. Why else would Marcus have provided these gorgeous clothes and makeup unless I was going to be in the same room as Damian?
I was sure it would be somewhere I could blend and not draw attention. Somewhere I could watch him unnoticed. Perhaps at one of his favorite restaurants or maybe a benefit.
My expression clouded when I remembered the last time Damian and I were in New York together. I’d always wanted to go to a benefit with him only to have the whole thing topple us.
That was then. It’s in the past. There’s no point in dwelling on it anymore.
I rushed through putting on my makeup, darkening my eyes with kohl but leaving my lips bare except for clear lip gloss. I used the blow dryer on my hair just long enough to get it mostly dry, figuring that by the time we arrived at our destination it would be done.
Checking the clock, I saw I had just a little over five minutes. I threw on my underclothing, holding up a garter belt with a frown. I didn’t typically wear one, but since it was here…
I struggled a bit with the stockings, but finally got the seam right. I slipped the black dress along with my heels. Going into the bathroom, I looked over my appearance.
The woman staring back at me looked haunted but beautiful. While I appreciated my femininity, I had the impression I was dressed to seduce. Wariness settled low in my gut. This wasn’t a happy accident.
Everything Marcus did was a result of calculation.
Coming out of the bedroom, I saw he had changed into a dark suit and tie. With his hair slicked back, he went from an impish young man into a cold-eyed Wall Street shark.
Even his walk was different. He sauntered across the room and lifted my hand up for a kiss.
“You clean up very well, Miss Kelly.”
Studying Marcus’s appreciative expression, I contrasted it against his eyes. They were dead. I looked into the face of a stranger, the same one who took me almost five weeks ago.
“Is the plan done?”
“No.”
Anxiety crawled over my skin. “Where are we going?”
“I’m taking you to Damian. Are you ready?”
26
DAMIAN
My body didn’t fit properly. Worn down, it was like a skin that didn’t fit right anymore. Between the long hours tracking Risa and having to juggle the appearance of Bridgewater work, I found it harder to put on the mask. My temper frayed, turning me into a snarling beast who forgot how to be human.
I avoided being seen in normal business hours. Instead, I took to haunting the corridors at night when all but a dedicated few remained behind. Wolffington’s men took to working in shifts. I watched while one scanned through thousands of images an hour, another through social media posts, and yet another ran through all recorded calls coming in from around the globe.
Any potential leads were passed onto me for verification. It was exhausting work, but it was all I had to keep me borderline sane.
The stomach-churning worry subsided to a steady thrum. Risa was alive and not in physical pain—a fact verified through voice analysis software. This came me broken comfort. Broken because I wasn’t sure if the days between her calls were for recovery.
Risa haunted me wherever I went. She came to me in dreams during the snatches of sleep I managed to get. Sometimes she was happy, but more often than not she stared at me with reproach.
“Where are you? Why haven’t you found me yet? Didn’t you swear you’d find me wherever I went? Why did you lie to me, Damian Konstantinov?”
I took to not sleeping for more than an hour or two.
When Risa didn’t come to me in dreams, she imprinted herself in my building and home. I avoided my office because every time I looked at the couch I remembered my mouth on her. If only that was it…
I remembered how often I hurt her with my vicious tongue and neglect. Her dark gaze glistened with misery too many times to count. Guilt cut me down with each jagged memory.
To the outside world, I had it all. Billions, looks, power, success. But I knew the truth as did the men in my personal conference room.
I’d failed Risa. I’d lied to her. I’d broken her. I’d betrayed her. I couldn’t protect her. I couldn’t find her.
I was a worthless creature who couldn’t dare call himself a man anymore.
Ten o’clock saw three of my cadre breaking off to escort me home. Discreet but effective. I had to appear normal which meant normal hours and activities. Sometimes, this required us to go to dinner and speak of deals that didn’t exist and families that were as substantial as mine.
The day finally came to a close, but my hell didn’t end. It just found a new location.
Alone in my penthouse, I took to self-medicating. Me who’d eschewed alcohol, elicit narcotics, and anything that affected my brilliant mind, had taken to drinking vodka nightly. It barely numbed the pain, but a reduced fraction of suffering became worth it.
Tonight required more than a full tumbler.
As always, I walked into what had been Risa’s room. It was still a testimony to a deranged mind. Broken furniture littered the floor. Sheets slashed to ribbons draped across the upended mattress.
This altar to my secret shame saw me kneeling once again. Crossing my legs, I let the empty glass dangle limply from my fingers as I surveyed the carnage.
My surroundings symbolized who I really was. The penthouse was my perfect shell. This room told my truth.
This wasn’t her room. Her room was mine. Her place by my side. This was a prison that I’d forced her to stay in during my ignorance.
What would Risa think of me if she saw what I’d done here?
She’d see the me I never wanted to acknowledge.
In these past six weeks, all I had was time to think. What I recognized wasn’t flattering. I had a need to control that went far beyond natural. It wasn’t just about sex or the natural predilection for power successful people had—as I’d once convinced myself.
No. I sought to control my surroundings because the secret truth was I was afraid. I believed there was something rotten in the core of me. This evil, misshapen bent of personality destroyed those that had the misfortune of loving me.
My mother might’ve survived her wounds if she hadn’t gone into labor.
My father wouldn’t have been executed if he hadn’t come to see me.
Gretchen would’ve never been brought to her knees if she hadn’t met me.
And Risa…my sweet little girl…the light of my life wouldn’t have been held captive if she hadn’t fallen in love with me.
Wrong.
If I hadn’t fallen in love with her.
You were supposed to protect her and you fucking failed. You truly have no right to call yourself a man.
I picked up a broken chair leg and held it aloft. I was like this piece of wood, a part of a whole that could never be put back together again.
Black-Price never existed and Konstantinov wasn’t mine to claim. Even if I tried. Who was I?
No one. I belonged nowhere and I brought nothing but misery.
What a piss-poor son of criminal I turned out to be. I couldn’t even navigate the underworld without ten layers of intermediaries because all the money in the world couldn’t buy me entrance, much less a meeting.
Tossing the chair leg onto the ground, I brought the tumbler to my mouth only to find it empty.
Shit.
Rising to my feet, I swayed slightly. Good. Maybe I’d sleep more than a couple of hours this time. I stumbled down the hall, hugging the walls more than I probably should’ve, when my phone chimed.
It was Wolffington.
“Sir, we’ve found Risa.”
My heart skipped several beats. “Where?”
“She’s downstairs.”
27
RISA
Marcus pulled up to the front of Damian’s building with an aggressive stop. The Jaguar F-Type purred as the engine idled.
I licked my lips, gaze fixated on the familiar lobby doors. It couldn’t be this easy, could it?
Maybe I had misunderstood something.
“Are you letting me go for good, Marcus?”
“You know I’m not.”
Disappointment. “Then why am I here?”
“You have an hour, Miss Kelly.”
“An hour. Alone with Damian?”
“Alone.”
It would be difficult to explain everything to Damian, but once he understood why I said what I did then we could really talk. I’d reassure him I was okay. Missing him all the time but okay. I’d tell him what I could, assure him that I’d be back for sure. It would be hard to leave him, brutal even.
My emotions wobbled.
“Thank you, Marcus. It’s been a rough month. I needed this connection. I’m—”
“Let me stop you right there.” Marcus tapped the gearshift once. “You’re here for a purpose. Unpleasant though it may become.”
Pressing deeper into the black leather, my spine snapped in a rigid line. “Which is?”
“You are going to get Damian to back off. He’s rattling too many cages and drawing too much attention.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Because Damian is looking for you, he’s signaling to others two things. One—you’re missing. Two—you’re valuable. This makes you both a target. Get him to back off.”
Until this moment there was a tiny part of me that wondered if Damian really had been searching for me. Especially after how I left him. Relief twisted through me.
“You can’t expect me to waltz in there and tell him to stop looking for me. He’s not going to be okay with that. Not in an hour or a day. So how?”
I was afraid I knew. It was naïve of me to think Marcus really brought me out just because I was depressed and missing my boyfriend.
“How else? Tell him you came with me out of your own free will because of the ‘K’ word. Tell him you’re in hiding because he’s stalking you. Tell him you’re going to the press if he doesn’t back off.”
Fury broke my passiveness into jagged pieces. “I will not do any such thing.”
“You will if you want him to get out of this in one piece.”
“Fuck you, Marcus. I think you’re full of shit. You haven’t shared a goddamned thing about this until now. Why I should I believe you?”
“I have little patience with indulging you tonight, Miss Kelly. We simply do not have the time to reassure you a million times before you make the right decision. Your Damian doesn’t have the time.”
Blood rushed my face. “I’m getting pretty tired of you using Damian as a threat to get me to react the way you want me to. Tell me the real truth, Marcus. Why do you want me to lie to Damian?”
“I already told you, Miss Kelly. Mr. Black-Price is fucking up my plan and doing everything he can to get himself killed. His father paid a heavy price to make sure his son didn’t keep company with killers. I brought you out for one reason, the only reason why you agreed to come with me in the first place. Do you remember what it was?”
My furious expression crumbled. “Yes.”
“Tell me.”
“I don’t need to say it out loud, Marcus. I remember.”
“Apparently you don’t or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“I’m not your servant.”
“No, you’re not.” He said it so calmly, as if he wasn’t forcing his disgusting will onto me.
“I also don’t work for you.” I played right into his hands because Marcus pounced.
“Wrong. You do. As long as this plan is in play, as long as Damian Black-Price isn’t completely free, then you work for me. You wanted to help—now you finally can.” Humanity flickered in his glass gaze. “Tell me why you came with me.”
I cursed him softly under my breath. “I came with you to save Damian.”
“Again.”
“I came with you to save Damian.”
“Why are you here tonight?”
“I’m here to save Damian.”
“What will you do to save him?”
“Anything.”
“What? I didn’t hear you?”
Between clenched teeth, I repeated the word. Louder this time. “Anything.”
“Good. You have an hour to finish your job. Remember—you’re not paying Mr. Black-Price a social call. You’re going to go in there and convince him to stop looking for you. By any means necessary.”
I clenched my fist until my fingernails dug in until the point of pain. “You want me to make him hate me.”
“That would be ideal.”
Marcus was asking too much.
“There has to be another way. I could tell him the truth. He’s reasonable, Marcus. He’ll do it if he understands.”
“No. You’ll tell him later. You’ll make it up to him when this is all over. But tonight? You’ll do your job, Miss Kelly, and you’ll do it well.”
Marcus unfurled my palm. I glared at him, teary-eyed and wanting so badly to tell him to go straight to hell.
His tone softened. “You’re going to go up there, take the hatred you feel for me, and use it. You’ll make Damian believe what you’re saying. He’ll stop looking for you, stop making waves, and this will buy the window of time I need to complete my job. Damian will be free, but most importantly, he’ll be alive.”
The air went out of me. So did my fight. Marcus proceeded to tell me exactly what to do next. Sickened, I focused on every word he said. I violently disagreed with his proposed methods, but I couldn’t take the chance with Damian’s life.
“Here, Risa. You need to fix your lip gloss.” He took my clutch out of my limp hands. A quick swipe later and then “Remember—one hour.”
Numbly, I got out of the car. The engine revved and then pulled away. I was on my own.
28
DAMIAN
“Repeat that.”
“Sir, Miss Kelly is in the lobby and asking permission to come up.” The voice on the other end remained calm, bland even. Didn’t he know the entire world just stopped spinning?
Risa was here.
Here.
A shaky hand came up to smother the crazed laughter trying to tumble out. “Does she…does she look okay?”
“Healthy, sir.” He paused and then asked, “Would you like me to detain her or let her up?”
“No!” I brought my voice back down. “Allow her to come up. Alone.”
Disconnecting from the call, I surveyed my surroundings with a critical eye. Everything was in its place. Nothing to betray my growing madness.
Except me.
In a shot, I made it to the bathroom. I looked like hell. Vanity demanded I change it. Quickly I splashed water on my face. I brushed my teeth. I smoothed a hand over my hair. I straightened my dress shirt, making sure every button was in its proper place. My belt needed to be shifted a quarter of an inch to the left.
The wrapper smoothed, but I couldn’t get control of the eyes. They blazed with uncontrolled emotion. I barely looked human.
The elevator whirred. I rushed over. I’d drunk too much tonight. Maybe I misheard the call. Maybe the call never happened at all.
Thoughts piled on, becoming an unscalable mountain. There was much to do now. The search needed to be called off—partially. Elaine and Thomas were in play. Their hired hand still unknown.
But I could do all th
ings as long as I had Risa. I had a second chance and I wasn’t going to fuck this up. Not again.
I’ll never let Risa out of my sight from this night on. We’ll get married. Have children. Be together until we’re old…
Then she was right in front of me.
Risa stood there in my entrance, looking so damned beautiful it hit me like a punch to the gut. Her black dress clung to her body, highlighting every delicious curve of her figure. She oozed sensuality. Her lips beckoned me to come closer.
A frown thundered across my face. Of all the things to say to her, I didn’t say, “How did you get free? Are you okay? Did anyone hurt you?”
No. I said, “What happened to your mouth?”
Displeasure tightened the very same full, unnaturally lush mouth. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing.” I took a step closer to her, hand grasping her chin before she had a chance to move away. “You’ve done something, my love. Your lips—”
“I had my lips done, okay? I’m sorry it doesn’t mean with your approval, Damian. As I’ve made perfectly clear to you many times, you are no longer in charge of what I do or don’t do. Especially to my body. I wanted bigger lips so I got them.”
Her words were a bucket of ice. They drenched me. I didn’t understand where this anger was coming from. But then I did. Risa believed the same thing I did.
It was all my fault.
“I’m sorry, Risa. I know you’re upset with me, as is your right. I should’ve been able to protect you better. I should’ve told you the truth when I had the chance. I’m terribly sorry.”
As far as apologies went even I recognized this wasn’t my best. But it was always such with Risa. I never knew the correct words when it was just the two of us. They always failed me.
But Risa managed to find a way to understand me. Another reason why I loved her so.
I tried again.
“You’re angry. I understand. I lied to you, Risa. I did it because I wanted to protect you. I didn’t want you to worry.”
I faltered at her stony expression. She needed more. Of course, she did.
Letting go of her chin, I reached for Risa’s hand. She denied me by shoving both hands into her coat pockets. The rejection stung. I settled for her arm, right above the shoulder. The muscles tightened beneath my hand, but she didn’t pull away.