He’d said more than he’d intended. Again.
“Did your talk help?”
“Enough about that.”
She clucked her tongue. “You never answered about Jill and Nick.”
“You should have seen Nick’s eyes when we picked her up. They hit it off right from the start, and she hung out with him and Katie all week.”
“I told you she’s gorgeous. So different from me. Every golden strand of hair in place, impeccable makeup, manicured nails.” She huffed. “Her outfits are accessorized. I never can figure out how to do that. I feel like I wear a uniform compared to her. Oh, and she’s super organized.”
“Some guys like that Barbie-doll look. Not me.” He smirked.
Her gaze wandered as she took that in. “Did you meet Juan?”
“I did. He gave me the numbers we need to finish out the chapel. We’ve got work to do, lady.”
Sarah Beth’s brows lifted a fraction. “We?”
“I’m good at strategizing.”
She slipped her hand away and clapped. “I love strategizing. When can we start?”
So cute. But he missed her hand already. “We need to schedule people and organizations to hear Juan’s presentation. First, I think I need to make a quick trip down to Honduras as soon as possible. I need to see the property for myself. ”
“You just got back.” Her voice fell flat. “I should go with you.”
He slid his arm around her and softened his tone. “Juan will go with me. A weekend trip. And when you’re ready, we’ll go together.”
“Why can’t I move past this? I get so disappointed in myself.”
How he’d love to take away her pain. “Hey, I created a system for you while I was gone.” He gave her arm a squeeze. “We’ll chart each road you travel and the mileage. Every time we return to that road, we’ll try to go at least a mile farther. I’ve been doing some reading on anxiety disorders. Your medicine helps regulate serotonin. Sometimes to get past your panic attacks, you may have to take a mild sedative. For example, if you can’t get past a certain point on our rides, a calming medicine could help you break through that barrier. Those drugs are habit-forming, so you only want to take them if necessary. What do you think?”
Eyes as dark as the night sky stared up at him. “Sounds like you’ve given this a good bit of research.”
Those eyes unearthed emotions so powerful within him. “I want to help.” He willed his arm back to his side and forced it down. Don’t scare her off. Look away. Now.
“I’d better talk to my doctor and therapist and let you know what they say.”
“Talk to them tomorrow, and make a list of people we can invite to a fundraiser. We’ll meet for dinner, go for a drive, and talk shop while we ride.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I’ll check my calendar and get back with you.”
“What? You have to check your calendar?”
“No.” She gave him a playful shove. “But you sounded a little bossy.”
“Sorry. I was in coach mode.” He smiled. “Are you free tomorrow after work?”
Long lashes batted for a second. “Let me think about it. Yes.”
“Great. I’m ready to get started.”
“You are a man after my own heart. Once I get a plan, I’m prepared to move.”
After her own heart in so many ways. He should leave while he was ahead. Jess stood and stretched. “Not bringing messy stacks of papers along, are you?”
She ignored his teasing. “That gives me an idea. I think Jill should come work in Oxford for a few weeks to help me organize. And maybe you and Nick could come to dinner.”
“You are a tricky one, Sarah Beth LeClair.” He stroked his chin. “I should get going. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Their eyes locked. “I missed you.”
Her lips parted, but no words came out. He smiled to himself as he walked away. His heart had never been this full. Somehow he would help her move past her anxiety.
Chapter 31
Sarah Beth squeezed the fabric of the seatbelt crossing her chest as the truck coasted down Highway Seven with Jess at the wheel. The country road ran along the fringes of small towns and communities with names like Water Valley, Velma, and Coffeeville. She knew these roads, but the farther they drove, the more her insides turned to liquid and flowed like ice water through her veins. She gripped the door handle of the truck, knuckles white. “I’d like to turn around now.”
Jess glanced at her and slowed the truck at the next gravel road. He pulled in, pushed the gear to park, then gave her hand a squeeze. “You did well. I’m proud of you.”
After forcing oxygen in and out of her lungs a few times, the tightness receded. She let out the air with a long sigh.
He still held her fingers in his. “Your hand’s like ice. Do I have the AC too high?”
“I think my blood stopped flowing—even though my heart was beating like a hummingbird in a hurricane.”
“I don’t think that’s a saying.”
“My daddy used to say that about a storm he got caught up in near Cat Island. If Daddy said it, it’s a saying.”
Chuckling, he slipped his hand back to the gear shift, then turned the truck toward the highway. “Is that near Pass Christian where you grew up?”
He pulled into the lane headed back to Oxford, and her chest released more of the tension. “Yep. I could never make myself go back there after the fire. I suppose I avoided that situation, too. The town took a beating from Hurricane Katrina. Mark went to help out after the storm. He said eighty-five percent of the town and virtually every public building was damaged or destroyed.”
Jess shook his head. “That storm was a monster. Mark told me about going back afterward.”
“He did? Why did y’all talk about that?”
Jess took his time answering. “He talked about growing up there. Your parents. It’s still important to him. Maybe someday you’ll be ready to go back for a visit. We can conquer that, too.”
A town so full of memories—memories that should be good, but with her parents gone, the fire, so much pain... How many times had she planned to go but backed out? Another reason to be disappointed in herself. Why couldn’t she be strong like Mark?
Quiet fell between them. The farms, country churches, and barns raced past her window.
Before long, the roadside looked like home. Were they that close to Oxford already?
“It seems so scary leaving, but we’re almost back. It’s ridiculous that I think the way I do.”
“You went a good distance today. Focus on your progress, not the problem. Worrying about panicking heightens anxieties.”
She swallowed hard. “Right, Coach. By the way, I did my homework on the fundraising. When we get to the house, I’ll show you.”
Fifteen minutes later, she bounced inside and grabbed her laptop and flash drive. Gingie followed her out.
Jess lounged, legs stretched out on the swing. “So what’ve you got there, Ms. LeClair?”
A breeze rustled through the pine trees. The sight of him on her porch felt as natural as hot weather in the South. Like he was meant to be there.
“Scoot over so I can show you.”
His feet hit the porch with a thud. She sat beside him and popped in the flash drive. “This is my list of contacts and ideas, along with presentations about the clinic and Juan’s mission.”
He clicked through the presentation. “You’re good at what you do.”
She grinned. “And no piles of papers.”
“For the second time today—well done. I’m proud of you.”
She grew hot under his gaze. Why did his approval mean so much? Her lip quivered and her nose stung as she tried to control the emotion bubbling up.
He closed the computer and set it on the ground. “What did I do?”
She sniffed. “I don’t know why I’m teary-eyed.” She rubbed her nose. “When do you leave for Honduras?”
“Friday. Juan is meeting me in Houston. Are you sure you’re o
kay?”
She nodded. “You’re such a good friend to do this.”
His mouth twisted as his eyes roamed her face. Then he pulled her into a hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sarah Beth.”
“Good bye, Jess.”
Chapter 32
Horrific images of Jess and Juan crashing off a mountain road in Honduras plagued Sarah Beth. She prayed for their protection. For the tenth time—this time on her knees. Lord, I know You’re in control. Please, help me calm down. She busied herself at home studying a telecommunications portfolio. At least she tried to.
She needed another way to distract herself. This was the perfect time for Jill to visit. The pile of papers on the desk and the others around the room were proof. She did need help. And if Nick happened to come to dinner while Jill visited...
She contacted Jill and set the plan in motion.
Then she called Nick.
“Just checking if you have to work tomorrow, and if I should pick up Katie for church.”
“She’s spending the night with Chris and Kim. I hardly know what to do with myself here alone. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in my condo at night without the princess.”
“I guess that would be strange. Maybe you should do something fun. Speaking of—I have good news. Jill is coming to help me get my work organized.”
“If your house is anything like your SUV, then I guess I believe you.”
“Are you accusing me of being messy, a liar, or both?”
A cough erupted across the line. “I’m not touching that one.”
“I hope Jess is safe down in Honduras. The roads can be treacherous, and there’s crime.”
“Sarah Beth, just give it over to the Lord.” His tone was strong.
“I did, but I keep taking it back.”
Nick laughed. “I know what you mean. I do that with Katie. I worry about all kinds of things far into the future, even pray about them. But doubt creeps back in. It’s a daily process. Read something inspirational, or listen to Christian music. You know what helps me? You should try this.”
“What?”
“Clean comedy. Download Christian comedy or buy a CD.”
“I’m gonna try that. Thanks, Nick. I’ll go online and see what I can find.”
“Goodnight, Sarah Beth. I’m happy that Jill’s coming. I have to admit I enjoyed her company in L.A.”
“She’s pretty, too. Like I said, right?”
“Bye.”
Nick and Jill could be perfect together. What could go wrong?
~~~
The concrete tarmac outside the window tore by in a blur as the plane rolled into the Houston airport. Jess stretched his neck to both sides and rotated his stiff shoulder. The whirlwind trip had been hard but worth it. He couldn’t wait to start working with Sarah Beth to complete the funding. Actually, he couldn’t wait to work with Sarah Beth on most anything. He missed her. Even more than last time. He’d call while they waited for their connecting flights.
When the plane halted, he followed Juan down the small aisle and exited the gate. The scent of coffee hit his nose. Caffeine first, though.
His arms and legs needed a better stretch. “Juan, would you like a cup of coffee?”
“Yes. Lead the way.”
Only two people waited ahead in line. The aroma alone perked him up.
He paid for the brews and handed one to Juan. “It’s on me.”
“Thank you. I am just turning my phone off airplane mode.” Juan’s phone chirped over and over. “Oh, my.” He checked the texts, then chuckled and dialed. “Sarah Beth, I had no idea that you worry so much for me.”
Jess had to laugh.
A smile filled Juan’s tan face. “Si, we both made it back safe and sound. Jess took many pictures for you to use in one of your magical presentations. He’s a good man.” Juan hesitated.
Jess smiled. Funny that she’d texted Juan so many times. She’d worried about them. Maybe missed him, too. He touched Juan’s arm. “Tell her I’ll call her when you finish.”
~~~
The phone still cradled in her hand, Sarah Beth’s worry eased. Juan and Jess were safe. Thank you, Lord. Four minutes passed since she’d hung up with Juan. The phone buzzed, her heart followed suit. “Hello.”
“I needed a jolt of caffeine. We used our mosquito repellent, as promised. No one was hurt or injured. And I took pictures of everything for you. How was your weekend?”
She sighed, treasuring the sound of Jess’s voice. “Quiet. I did quite a bit of worrying about you guys, but Nick suggested that I listen to some Christian comedians. It actually helped.”
“Nick usually has good advice. I’ll come by as soon as I get back and show you the pictures.” He paused. “If you want.”
“Sounds great.” Worry and guilt needled her. He had to be tired. What if he wrecked? “But maybe you need to rest.”
“I’ll let you know if I do.”
Now he would fly back to Memphis, then drive another hour home to Oxford. She pushed back the vision of twisted metal on the side of the interstate. “Would you mind giving me a call if you get sleepy?”
“I don’t mind at all.” His voice was rich and smooth. “I’ll see you soon.”
But time moved like molasses, so she prayed and listened to more comedy shows while she huddled over a legal pad for a brainstorming session. These were going to be some original, if not bizarre ideas. She should’ve thought of using comedy a long time ago. It felt so good to laugh again.
A couple of hours later, she flinched at the knock on the door. Gingie bounded through the house, slid on the hardwood floors, and crashed into the entry wall. Sarah Beth jogged behind the puppy to open the door. When she did, the brown eyes firing into hers caused her breath to catch in her throat.
Gingie danced around Jess’s legs until he bent down and scratched behind her ears. “Good girl, you didn’t jump up—but it sounded like you almost broke through the wall.”
In the low light, Jess’s blond hair glinted golden, which seemed to be hypnotizing her and paralyzing her mouth. Sarah Beth swallowed hard. “I’m glad you made it back safely. I hope to hear Juan’s in L.A. soon.”
“His flight was leaving about an hour after mine, so it’ll be a while. Poor guy had to be tired. I know I am.”
She’d asked too much of him. “You need to go home and sleep. We can look at the pictures tomorrow.”
“No way. I already downloaded them to my laptop. It won’t take that long to look. Besides...” His eyes smoldered. “I missed you.”
Her breath hitched. Again. She swiped at her neck, turned, and shuffled toward the porch swing. The humidity raged in full force. “Let’s sit down and see those pictures.” Jess stood by the door, unmoving. Sarah Beth cocked her head. “Aren’t you coming?”
He flashed a devastating smile. “Not until I hear if you missed me, too.”
Her stomach fluttered like a swarm of wasps protecting a nest. “I worried about you and...”
He still watched, waiting.
“I missed you.”
“Good.”
Sitting beside her, Jess opened the computer and leaned in close to explain each picture. His shoulder touched hers.
Definitely hot out here. Focus on the pictures.
After the last slide, he closed the laptop but didn’t move away. “Juan will be here in about three weeks if I can get everything lined up.”
“Hmm, I’m bringing Jill here right away to help me organize my work, but I’ll have to send her back to the office in time to cover when he leaves. While she’s here, maybe we could have dinner, take her out on your boat—with Nick and Katie.”
“Sounds good. And suspicious.”
She should make herself scoot over. But the touch of his shoulder next to hers locked her there while the swing rocked with a soothing creak. She stole a glance at Jess. His eyelids looked heavy. “You should get some rest.”
“If I stay much longer, you may find me curled up on this
swing in the morning.”
The words created a vision of him that she quickly pushed away. “It’s amazing that you came by after such a long trip. Thanks.” She smiled but stared out into the darkness.
“I’m happy to be a part of what God’s doing.” He nudged her with his elbow. “And we’ll have fun working on this together, right?”
“Right, Coach.”
“Good answer.” He rose to his feet, taking away his warmth. “Lucky it’s only a few blocks. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye, Jess.” She watched him walk to his car, still unable to force herself to move. She pictured him sitting next to her and warmth washed over her again.
What am I doing, Lord? We need to talk.
Chapter 33
“Hey, girl, you look wonderful.” Jill pulled Sarah Beth into a tight hug. “You’re tan and healthy, much better than when you left. Oxford must’ve been the right choice.”
“I’m doing better.” Sarah Beth bobbed her head. She wasn’t as good as she’d liked to be, but better than when she’d left California. “And you look perfect, as always, even though you traveled hours in a plane and another in the car. How do you do it?”
“Would you try if I told you?”
“Not if it requires time and effort.”
“Exactly what I thought.” They strolled the brick sidewalk up to the porch. Jill swept her hand toward the large oaks and Victorian home. “Your town and house are both charming. Just like you described.”
Inside, Jill admired the floral painting that filled the entry wall. “Who’s the artist?”
“Mark’s wife, Holly, painted the pictures. It’s her hobby, but I think she could make a career of it.” Sarah Beth led her to the kitchen. “Water or soda?”
“Water would be perfect.” Glancing at the desk and nearby table, Jill’s head dropped. “Looks like you weren’t kidding when you said you needed me to help you organize your files.”
Sarah Beth retrieved a cool bottle from the refrigerator and gave Jill her best puppy dog face. “You are the best organizer I’ve ever met, and I need you.” She motioned down the hall. “Do you want to stay in my guest room or have the pool house to yourself? Either one’s fine with me.”
Leaving Oxford Page 20