by Susan Lewis
‘Hi,’ she said, getting up to embrace Shelley as she reached the table. ‘I’m so glad you were free. I’m on such a high after the last few days that I just couldn’t have stayed in this evening.’
‘I’m not surprised,’ Shelley smiled, as she handed her coat to a hovering waiter. ‘It’s a pretty impressive debut. Do you need to edit?’
‘Only a few joins. Alan’s booked in for a couple of hours tomorrow afternoon. Transmission is still scheduled for next Tuesday?’
‘Of course. We’ve been promoting it for weeks. I hope you’ve ordered champagne.’
‘I was just about to. I see the ratings were up again last week, which must mean that even if I can’t stand her, the world loves Tessa.’ Though she was still smiling even she heard the edge to her voice, which annoyed her slightly for she didn’t want to be affected by this tonight. ‘She was good in France,’ she said. ‘That ridiculous Franglais thing she did really worked. I’m just wondering what we’re going to do when the baby starts showing. Apart from shoot her – from the neck up?’
Shelley smiled, then looked up at the waiter as he came to take their order. ‘Bring us a bottle of Bollinger,’ she told him. ‘We’ll need a few more minutes with the menu.’ After he’d gone she turned back to Allyson, who she could see was fast coming down from her high. Tiredness would do that of course, and the reminder of something she’d obviously rather forget. ‘About the baby,’ she said.
Allyson’s eyes flickered off to one side. ‘Let’s not talk about it,’ she said. ‘Not tonight.’
‘I think we should,’ Shelley replied. ‘Mainly because there is no baby. Not any more.’
As the words reached her Allyson felt herself go very still. No baby? Bob and Tessa were no longer having a baby? Did that mean …? Her eyes came up to Shelley’s.
‘I think she told Bob it was a miscarriage,’ Shelley said. ‘Did you know she’s left him?’
This was all too much for Allyson to take in. The shock was so great that she didn’t seem able to grasp what any of it might mean. ‘When?’ she finally managed.
‘I’m not sure. I only heard myself today. Apparently she’s living in Knightsbridge.’
The champagne arrived, and as Allyson watched the waiter open it she had to remind herself what they were celebrating. Suddenly everything felt very different and for the moment she wasn’t entirely sure how she was reacting.
‘Here’s to you,’ Shelley said when their glasses were full. ‘And to many more programmes like your first one.’
Allyson smiled as they touched glasses. It was a relief to turn her mind away from this earth-shattering news and think only of how great it had felt, running about that club in Monte Carlo, chatting with the guests who’d turned up in all their finery, organizing everyone into position, making key decisions with the director, briefing Tessa on what to say and do with the couple of rock bands and expatriate sportsmen who were making up the Happy Hour, and then recording her own Night Cap slot sitting on the rocks outside with one of Britain’s leading authors. It all felt like an entire world away now, another lifetime even.
Bob and Tessa were no longer together!
‘Did you see the spread in Hello!?’ she said.
Shelley nodded.
Allyson stared down at her drink. ‘I still can’t believe her nerve,’ she said. ‘She’s just not like normal people.’
‘She’s found someone else, apparently.’
Allyson’s surprise showed. ‘Oh?’
‘No idea.’
Allyson drank some more champagne. ‘Let’s stop talking about her,’ she said. ‘I only want to deal with her as some kind of prop on the show, and after that she ceases to exist. Now tell me about you. I feel as though I’ve hardly seen you lately.’
Shelley was trying not to jump to conclusions about Allyson’s failure to discuss Bob. It was probably just that she needed some time to get over the shock, nothing to do with Mark, and no longer knowing how she felt. ‘My life has been like yours,’ she said with a smile, ‘all work and no play.’
Allyson smiled too, then after a moment she said, ‘Did you hear from Mark again? Have you seen him?’
Shelley was shaking her head, then looking Allyson frankly in the eye, she said, ‘To tell the truth I thought you were seeing him.’
‘Me?’ Allyson responded. ‘What made you think that?’ That wasn’t very honourable, but it had come out before she could stop it.
Shelley shrugged. ‘Just a feeling I had,’ she said.
Allyson’s eyes dropped to her glass for a moment. ‘Did I tell you I stayed with the Clausonnes when I was on the recce?’ she said.
Shelley nodded, obviously surprised by the change of subject.
Allyson looked at her. ‘Apparently Mark knows them too,’ she said. ‘Jean-Marc said he was there quite recently, with a woman.’
Though Shelley’s throat felt tight, and her heart was thudding, she knew that this was going to be easier to live with than Allyson seeing him. ‘Did they say who she was?’ she asked.
Allyson shook her head. ‘Jean-Marc couldn’t remember, and the subject changed before I could ask.’
Shelley pressed her lips together as she thought. ‘So you think he’s already involved with someone else?’ she said.
‘It’s possible. It could explain why he’s holding back with you.’
Shelley nodded. It wasn’t perfect, but it helped.
Allyson said, ‘I saw him earlier. He gave us a lift in from the airport.’
Shelley’s face felt suddenly stiff, and her mouth had turned dry. This had changed direction so fast she hardly knew what she was thinking. ‘You mean he came to meet you?’ she said.
‘No. Not really. He was out at the airport anyway, and knowing we were about to fly in, he came to offer us a lift into London. Zac and Justie were there too.’
Shelley looked away. She truly didn’t know what to say, how even to begin to express the feelings inside her. They were dulled, as though ripped away from their centre, hanging jagged and loose in a vacuum of confusion. But it needn’t be as bad as it sounded. There could be another woman, and the airport thing could simply be the coincidence Allyson had described.
‘He’s asked me to go and see him tomorrow,’ Allyson said, desperately wishing he hadn’t, for she could see that all this was upsetting Shelley even more than she’d expected.
‘What about?’ Shelley asked.
‘He didn’t say.’
Several seconds ticked by before Shelley looked up again, and forcing a smile she said, ‘So, do you think you’ll go back with Bob, now it’s over with Tessa?’
Allyson knew what answer Shelley was hoping for, but it wasn’t an answer she could give, not yet. So all she said was, ‘If I do, it’s not going to happen immediately.’
Laura Risby was sitting alone in her office, a small cone of light falling over the file and tape recorder in front of her. Tessa had spent almost two hours with her earlier, spilling over with excitement and exuberance at her new-found fame and amazing apartment in Knightsbridge. Though Laura was relieved to hear that her relationship with Bob was over, she certainly couldn’t feel happy about the new course events seemed to be taking. In fact, as she rewound the tape for the second time, she was toying with the idea of calling upon a colleague for a second opinion. Not that she considered Tessa to be a threat to anyone, at least not in the physical sense, but there was no doubt that her particular kind of behaviour could cause some serious problems for those around her.
Stopping the tape, Laura let it play for a few minutes, making notes as she listened.
‘It’s great what’s been happening to me lately,’ Tessa was saying. ‘It’s right up there with the stars.’
Laura carried on writing as Tessa described more of her jubilation, then having heard enough she spooled forward to the place where her own voice was asking to be told more about Mark Reiner.
Tessa wasn’t in the least hesitant in her replies. ‘I went t
o see him today,’ she said, ‘after I moved my stuff out of the other flat.’
‘Did he ask you to come to see him?’ Laura asked.
‘No. But I wanted to say thank you, you know, for everything he’s done for me.’
‘Had you met him before?’
‘Yes, but not, you know, like on a one-to-one. He was really complimentary about the way I do the show. And the ratings are up, so he’s really into me right now.’
‘And you say he’s seeing Allyson.’
‘Well some people say he is. It could be they’re keeping it quiet because everyone says Shelley’s got the hots for him. There was a rumour that he and Shelley, you know, did it, in his office, just before Christmas.’
Laura made some more notes, then spooled the tape on again.
‘How’s Julian?’ Laura was now asking.
‘Oh, he’s great. He keeps saying brothers and sisters don’t do the kind of things we do, so I remind him, duh! he’s not really my brother.’
‘So you’re sleeping together now?’
‘Sometimes. If I’m in the mood.’
‘Have you ever told him about your real brother?’
‘No. Why would he want to know that?’
‘Or your father?’
‘Or that. Anyway, they’re dead now, so who cares?’
‘Have you told him about your mother?’
‘I told him she killed herself.’
‘Did you tell him why?’
‘I don’t know why, do I? That’s why I’m here.’
Laura stopped the tape, then sat quietly going over it all in her mind. She was sure that Tessa did know why her mother had killed herself, but still wasn’t ready to accept it. That wasn’t so surprising, these things always took time, and in Tessa’s case the reluctance would be as much to do with suppressed anger as with the understandable pain. But she would get there, Laura felt sure of it, and should perhaps be allowed the freedom to work it through in her own way, convoluted and sometimes damaging though that could be.
So once again Laura shelved the idea of calling on someone else’s opinion, or breaking a professional trust, and turning off the tape, she put the file away and left the office.
Chapter 13
IT HAD BEEN a hectic day recording six Night Caps, catching up with correspondence, sorting her diary, and starting plans for the next transmission from the ski slopes of Austria. It should be a good show, staging an après-ski with the Brits who were happy about making fools of themselves abroad. Tessa would no doubt excel at chatting to them, and it could be a good idea to get her on a pair of skis too. With any luck she might go over a cliff!
Reining in the thought, Allyson gathered up her briefcase and coat and ran out of the office to her car. On the way up to town, still buzzing from her day, she called in at the women’s refuge, where she was welcomed with freshly brewed tea, kiddie-baked biscuits and the latest news on funding. She’d had so little time lately that she’d been unable to visit in person, but she’d been in regular contact by phone, getting updates on how they all were, often talking to the newcomers herself and trying to offer some comfort and sympathy. She understood that her being a celebrity made them feel special, which was probably one of the best parts of being famous, knowing that she could use it in such a worthwhile way. One of the worst parts was when she was hounded by the press, as she had been today, since their fascination with her private life was flourishing again, now that Tessa had left Bob.
Allyson wasn’t ready to deal with that. It was like a pile of smouldering ashes, still too hot to put her hands in to find out if there was anything left to be salvaged. She’d think about it when it had had a chance to cool down a little, and when she had a clearer idea of what she really wanted to save. In the meantime, she’d continue answering the probing calls from the press, who were all clamouring to know how she felt about Bob and Tessa’s break-up, with the maddening noncommittal response of no comment.
They were in Tessa’s hair too, of course, and Bob’s, but Shelley had been quick on the case regarding Tessa, bringing in a publicist to handle the calls, as Tessa had nothing like Allyson’s experience in dealing with the press. Allyson had no idea how Bob was coping with it, on any level, but according to that morning’s Mail he was still living in Peckham, and still out of work. So far he’d made no attempt to contact her, and though she wished that didn’t hurt, it did. However, she had no intention of initiating any contact with him, especially not after that fiasco with Hello!
Leaving her car at the refuge she hailed a cab and gave the driver the address of Mark’s office. She should be there in plenty of time, if the traffic wasn’t too bad, and she could do with these few minutes of peace to collect her thoughts. However, they had barely pulled away from the kerb when her cellphone rang, connecting her to a three-way call with Zac and Justine that took up most of the journey. And she’d only just clicked off that call when another came in from Shelley, pointing out the duplication of a celebrity guest who was being talked about for the ski programme, but was already pencilled in to appear on one of the regular shows the previous week.
It was a problem soon settled, for Allyson was willing to find someone else, and Shelley put forward a few suggestions that could easily work. The call then ended on a friendly note, but there was no mistaking the chill of politeness that had crept into their usual warmth. It was how their dinner had ended up last night too, after Allyson had confessed she was going to see Mark today, and Shelley had tried to disguise her resentment, not only at the meeting, but at Allyson’s reluctance to respond to Tessa’s split with Bob – and of course to the abortion too. But to Allyson it all felt like quicksand, something that would just drag her back into the horrible quagmire of pain and despair she was still struggling so hard to get out of, and now her grip was tightening on the lifeline Mark Reiner had thrown her, she wanted only to go with it.
After paying the driver she slammed the cab door closed and walked the few paces to Mark’s office. She couldn’t allow herself to second-guess any more about this meeting, because she’d lain awake half the night wondering about it, and about Bob, and where they all were in their lives, and when she had finally allowed a truth to emerge from the confusion, that if it weren’t for Shelley she’d be hoping very much that Mark had invited her here for reasons that weren’t entirely professional, she had immediately seen the danger and frogmarched her fantasies straight off to the dimmest and darkest cell of her overactive brain. However, they’d somehow contrived an escape, for she was much more nervous than she should have been as she walked up the stairs to his reception, and excited too, it had to be said – though the fall, if it came, would at least have the happy outcome of easing the tension between her and Shelley.
‘He’s down the corridor with the finance director,’ Corinne, his assistant, told her when she walked in. ‘I’ll let him know you’re here.’
As Corinne picked up the phone, Allyson could feel the flutterings in her heartbeat. She really was looking forward to this meeting.
‘He’s on his way back,’ Corinne said a few moments later. ‘Can I get you a drink?’
‘No thanks.’
Allyson wandered over to the window. Rush hour was already under way, though she was hardly registering it. In fact she had no idea how much time had passed before she became conscious of Corinne’s voice again, and realized she was talking to Mark.
Allyson turned round and was instantly aware of the way he seemed to dominate the room – and reach everything inside her with his magnetic dark eyes.
‘I’ve put the tickets on your desk,’ Corinne was telling him as he looked at Allyson. ‘Your flight’s at eleven in the morning, arriving in Paris around noon. Paul McKenzie’s joining you at the hotel tomorrow night.’
‘Great,’ he said. Then to Allyson, ‘Hi. Come in.’
He held open the door and as she passed she caught the warm, male scent of him. His tie was loose and his white shirt was crumpled. She was amused by t
he way she noticed those details, and felt agreeably disturbed by their impact. But sensing where her imagination was heading she brought it quickly to heel, and stopped at one of his guest chairs. ‘So you’re going to Paris tomorrow?’ she said chattily.
‘For the second time this week. We’re involved in a buy-out of one of the cable stations. Did Corinne offer you a drink?’
‘Yes. I’ve changed my mind, I’ll take a vodka martini.’
Noticing the way the corners of his eyes creased as he smiled made her smile too. ‘I’ll join you,’ he said.
As he fixed the drinks Allyson took off her coat and was about to sit down when he said, ‘If we’re having martinis we don’t need to be formal.’
So she went to sit on one of the comfy black leather sofas, and watched him until he brought the drinks over. There was something quite exhilarating about being here, and allowing herself to sink into the attraction, even though she knew very well that she was far too unsure of herself to permit the kind of thoughts she was having to become a reality. Nevertheless, they were enjoyable.
‘Thanks for coming,’ he said, as he sat down. ‘I know how busy you are, and I’m overdue for a visit to the studio. But it’s been kind of crazy these past few weeks. Anyway, here’s to you and your continued success.’
‘Thank you,’ Allyson responded.
As they drank she dropped her eyes from his, not wanting him to see how aware she was becoming of his body, but it was hard not to be when his proximity, coupled with those intensely knowing eyes of his, were dragging her shy and battered libido out into the light and giving it all kinds of ideas on how to get going again. In fact, it seemed so ready for the off that the sheer boldness of it was making her feel as light-headed as the vodka.