Randy tied up both horses. He pulled a blanket off the back of his horse and spread it under the tree. “Want me to check your ass?”
She didn’t know why he was so serious. “I’m good.”
“I’d like to see. Once we get back, we won’t have any privacy. I’ve never used a crop on a woman before. I shouldn’t have.”
She rubbed his arm. “I asked you to.” She unbuttoned her jeans and slipped them over her hips. “Okay. Here. You can look.”
As soon as she offered her rear to him, his cool hands caressed her skin. “You’ll need some salve. It’s really red. Blake’s going to have a fit.”
She’d forgotten about his reaction. “I’ll tell him I was bad and you had to punish me.”
“Zipper up.” He tapped her back. “Let’s not look for trouble.”
“Maybe you’re right.” She eased down to the blanket. “There is something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Was the sex a way to soften me up?”
“No. I didn’t plan on having sex. I wanted another lesson. I really wanted to prove to myself that I could ride a horse. Being scared sucks the life out of a person.”
He lifted her hand and kissed her palm. “You did great. I’m proud of you. It’s hard to conquer your fears.”
She hoped he could do the same. “I think you are an amazing person on so many levels.”
He leaned back on his elbows as if he wanted to put a bit of distance from this conversation. “Thank you.”
“What I love the most about you is your passion. You do love horses and are wonderful with them, but when you are playing the piano, you become electric. It’s almost as if you become the music.”
He plucked a long piece of grass out by its roots, broke off the end, and stuck it in his mouth. “I love to play.”
“There’s an audition at the Cheyenne Civic Center this Friday. They’re looking for a couple of positions, but they are interested in someone to play next month at a concert. It would probably be one song.”
He looked away. “I’m not interested.”
She expected him to be in denial. “All I ask is that you try.”
“Why?”
“Because when other people hear you, they’ll convince you to play.”
“If this is your family’s way of getting me to quit this job, I won’t.”
He was more stubborn than she ever was. “Just audition. For me?” She got on her knees and straddled him. She kissed him thoroughly.
He dropped onto his back and took her with him. “You up for some more riding?”
“Riding your cock or riding the horse?”
He burst out laughing. It was a sound she never would grow tired of. “I think I already wore out your pussy. I was talking about getting back.”
“You’re avoiding my question.”
He sat her up and placed her to the side. He stood and helped her up. “I’ll think about it. How’s that?”
She jumped up and down. “Thank you.” She gave him a mind-blowing kiss.
He tapped her butt. “Hop on up.”
They mounted and headed back to the barn. This time when they neared, she made sure her legs weren’t tense. She pulled up on the reins and Fleet of Foot slowed. Wow! She could get used to this riding stuff.
* * * *
Randy tried not to think about the possibility of playing in front of an audience, but every time he dismissed the thought, the image of April came into his mind. The audition seemed so important to her, and he wanted to please her. For the first time in his life, he felt really connected to a woman.
Admit it. You’re in love with her.
My God, how had that happened? He wanted to call and tell her, but then she’d want to know his decision. Maybe he’d go to Cheyenne and investigate the setup. If everything felt right, he’d try out.
The week crawled by. April hadn’t stopped by, but in a way, he was glad. He didn’t need the added pressure. Friday morning he stopped at the main house to thank Mrs. C for arranging the audition and to ask for the afternoon off.
“Why of course, Randy. Is April going with you?”
“I haven’t told her about my decision to give it a try. I want to keep it a secret and surprise her.”
“Josh is in town, but when he comes back I’ll let him know that you had to go to Cheyenne.”
“Thanks.”
For the rest of the morning, nerves ate him up. He intended to play the song he’d written for April. He didn’t question his ability to get the notes right. That part was solid. After all, he’d written the piece. What if he got up on stage, performed the piece, and then realized he had to have more? Would playing in front of an audition be addicting?
Christ, he was a basket case. He decided to leave work even earlier to go home and change. It wouldn’t do to come to an audition in chaps and blue jeans. He did own a suit, but wearing a jacket went against his nature. It also wasn’t his style to polish his loafers. The shoes, in and of themselves, looked ridiculous. He kept it simple with polished black boots, nice slacks, and a white shirt.
He tried to empty his mind as he drove to Cheyenne. Mrs. C had called in a favor, and he didn’t want to disappoint her either. Finding a parking space proved easy. He stepped out of the truck and inhaled. Why was he so nervous about playing the piano? It was something he could do in his sleep.
Inside was a sign with an arrow pointing to the stage. Violins were warming up. Maybe if he listened to the other performers, he’d get over his issues.
A pretty woman sat at a table with a list and a stack of numbers in front of her.
“Your name?”
“Randy Stark.”
She ran her hand down a column, checked off his name, and handed him a number. “Peel off the back and place it on your left arm.”
He took the sticker and headed into the main part of the auditorium. The auditions were about to begin. Apparently, they were going to start with the violins. He wished he could go first and get it over with.
After the violinists performed, the next up were the trumpet players. He enjoyed the music but soon realized he didn’t belong in this world of performing. Who was he kidding? He mucked stalls for a living. That was all he’d ever do, which was fine by him. His cage fighting days were over, and he no desire to train others to beat the shit out of another human.
Randy took off his number, balled it up, and strode down the hall. The jazz music flared and tore at his gut. The sound was full and resonated with him, but he couldn’t go through with it.
“Sir?” The pretty lady at the desk was calling to him, but he couldn’t stop.
Once he got back into his truck, he slammed his hand against the wheel. “You’re a fool.”
He’d disappointed April and probably her mom, too, but pretending he could be a musician was dumb. At least the folks he’d run into in town respected men who worked with horses. Getting your hands dirty was a man’s rite of passage. Playing the piano was not.
He went home, changed back into his work clothes, and headed out to the ranch. He needed to exercise the animals. Maybe he should admit that he needed to exorcise some of his demons.
* * * *
April couldn’t keep her mind focused on her work for longer than a few minutes because she kept glancing at the clock. Had Randy auditioned yet? Did he get a standing ovation for his performance?
Finally, she called Blake to see if he’d heard. His phone rang four times before he picked up. “Hey. Sorry, I just got out of a meeting. How are you doing?”
“I’m nervous. Did you hear from Randy?”
“No, but Randy isn’t the type to share.”
“You two were sharing me a few days ago.”
“That’s different. You want me to give him a call?”
“Would you?”
“I’ll call you back.”
April disconnected and paced. Randy might already be back at the ranch.
If he was out riding, he might not hear his phone ring over the pounding of the hooves. She poured another cup of coffee while she waited.
Her cell rang. “Well?”
“No answer, but I left a message.”
She hadn’t seen Blake in a couple of days and needed his arms around her. “Can I come over tonight? If you have a lot to do, I won’t keep you.”
“You know I’ll always make time for you.”
“Can you text me when Randy gets home?”
“Will do. Maybe we can celebrate.”
She laughed. “What would your students think if they knew you liked sex so much?”
“I’d have them lined up at the door.”
“See you tonight.” She’d been about to say that she loved him, but maybe tonight she’d admit what they meant to her.
Since she didn’t expect to hear anything more for several hours, she took a shower then picked up her books. She was in the middle of a chapter when her phone beeped. The text stated that Randy was home. There was no other news. Given it was a bit before six, she figured the men might not have eaten.
She decided to stop by the Eatery and order three to-go orders. Even if Blake had prepared something, they could eat the roast beef sandwiches tomorrow for lunch. Nervous didn’t come close to what she was feeling right now. This was Randy’s big chance at stardom. Not that she cared if he hit it big, she just wanted him to be happy. Reaching one’s potential was in large part what life was about.
The short drive from her apartment seemed to take forever. Finally, she pulled into the drive. She rang the bell and waited. Blake answered, but there wasn’t a big smile on his face. She stepped inside and kissed him. She looked behind him but didn’t see Randy.
She held out the bags. “I brought some dinner if you hadn’t made any yet.”
“No, I haven’t.”
From the way his lips were pressed together, the audition hadn’t gone well. “So?”
“I’ll let him tell you.”
From the clanging noise, Randy was in his weight room. She didn’t like that omen. “Can I go in there?”
“If you don’t, you might not see him until morning.”
They stepped in, but Randy didn’t stop bench-pressing. He had three huge plates on either side of the bar. He moved them like they were nothing.
“Randy,” Blake said.
“Sec.” Randy did five more reps before placing the bar on the stand.
He sat up and wiped his face. “Hey, April.”
She couldn’t handle the suspense any longer. “How did it go?”
“I didn’t audition.”
Her heart sank. “Why? My mom called in a favor to get you into the auditions.”
“Tell her thank you.”
“Did something happen? Did they cancel the audition?” There had to be a good explanation.
“I decided it wasn’t for me.”
She wasn’t surprised he’d cop this attitude again. “Music is your passion. Why are you so afraid of performing?”
He picked up two dumbbells and did some curls. He didn’t seem the least bit bothered that he’d broken her heart.
“Why do want to change me? I thought you liked me the way I am.”
“I do, and I’m not trying to change you. Randy, I love you for who you are. I love your passion for the horses, your passion for your weights, and your passion for music. But when you won’t even try to reach for the stars, then you become a different person. That’s the man I don’t want.”
“Then I guess it’s good-bye.”
Her pulse skyrocketed. “You want to call it quits because you’re afraid to let others hear your brilliance?”
He shrugged. Clearly, he wasn’t listening. Her stomach almost revolted. “Fine.”
She spun on her heels and raced out of the room. On her way out, she grabbed her purse. She would have made it out the door if Blake hadn’t caught her. “Where are you going?”
“You don’t get it, do you? I love you and Randy. I know you want a woman you can share, but unless Randy can be all that he can be, we’re done.” She hadn’t meant to quote the Army slogan, but it made sense.
He didn’t stop her as she raced to her car. Tears streamed down her face as her heart broke.
Chapter Fourteen
Blake knew talking with Randy probably wouldn’t do much good, but if he lost April because Randy was too damned stubborn to play one fucking song, then maybe he and his friend were finished, too. He strode down the hall, forcing himself to inhale deeply.
When he walked in, Randy was doing pull-ups on the bar he’d attached to the ceiling. “We need to talk.”
Randy did a few more pull-ups and didn’t look like he was going to stop. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“How about the fact that you’re a fuckup and April just walked out of my life?”
Randy dropped to the ground. “That’s your problem.”
While it might have been an ultimately stupid move, he slammed his fist into Randy’s stomach. His friend had three inches and a thirty-five-pound weight advantage on him. No surprise, his hand stung from the blow. Randy dropped to the ground. He didn’t blink at the impact, which pissed him off even more. Randy stepped forward and shoved Blake backward. He stumbled but regained his balance quickly. He’d watched enough cage fights to know Randy wouldn’t kill him, but he also understood he would be the one with the bloody nose at the end of this dispute. Right now, he didn’t care. Randy had basically ruined the best thing in his life, and he needed to pay.
Surprise was on his side since they’d never fought after high school. Blake stepped forward, swung his leg high, and nailed Randy in the chest. This time, Randy did fall backward, but he caught himself before he fell.
“Is this what you want, Blake? You won’t win.”
“I don’t care.”
If he couldn’t have April, he needed to take his frustrations out on someone, and Randy was the best target. Good thing the workout room was covered in spongy rubber mats because when Randy came at him, both landed on the ground. Too bad, Blake had to be on the bottom. Using an elbow, he slammed it into Randy’s face and hit his nose. Blood poured out.
Randy jumped up, dragged Blake to his feet, then slammed him against the wall. All was going well until Randy pressed his forearm to Blake’s throat, cutting off his oxygen.
Randy got in his face. “You going to leave me alone?”
“No.”
He threw up his arms and walked away. “There’s nothing I could have done.”
Air rushed into his throat. “You could have played one song. How hard could that have been?” Blake advanced. “You know that’s all April asked. She wanted you to give yourself a chance to be happy. But could you even do that? No. You’re fucked-up, and we’re done, too.”
“Fine. Leave. Be like everyone else in my life.”
“Is that what this is about?”
Randy stood there. His gaze dropped to the ground. “I don’t know.”
“Are you scared of loving someone? She loves you back, you know.”
“For now.”
Blake needed some time to himself. He charged into his bedroom, packed a bag, and headed out. A few days in a hotel might give both of them some perspective.
* * * *
April spent the next two weeks poring over the books, determined to do her best at her last course. Since she’d told Randy to be all he could be, it was only right to follow her own advice. Concentrating on the material was nearly impossible. Good thing Darlene was willing and able to study with her. They met at the library the day before the exam.
“How’s it going with Dr. Hunk?”
She’d more or less kept Darlene up-to-date with the affair. “I think we broke up.”
“Oh, no. Why?”
She told her the basics. “I’m still reeling.”
“I’m so sorry. Do you mind if I give him a call?
”
Jealousy raged through her.
Darlene held up her hand. “I’m only kidding. Dr. Danforth is in love with you.”
“That might be, but he made it clear that he and Randy come as a two-pack.”
“Ouch. Walking away from both must be killing you.”
Her heart pinched at the thought. “It is, but I have my principles. Randy is not being true to himself. I want the man he really is.”
“I hear ya.”
They spent the rest of the afternoon going over their notes. Darlene wasn’t much better at physics than she was, but they managed to get through the material. Her cell rang right before dinner, and her pulse raced thinking maybe Randy had changed his mind.
“It’s my mom. I’ve got to take this.”
She got up and ambled over to a stack of books where no one could be bothered. “Hi, Mom.”
“I know you’re studying, but Friday night is the Cheyenne orchestra’s opening night. Bob and Martha Dukes, who have season tickets next to us, can’t make it. Would you like to go with us?”
Hearing music might put salt in her wound. “I don’t think so.”
She’d told her mom about the breakup, which probably was why she got the offer. “You know your daddy’s health isn’t the best. He misses you so.”
“I see you’re not above playing dirty.”
“Never, dear.”
She chuckled. “Okay. I’ll go.”
They discussed the logistics and she hung up. She ambled back to the table, wondering if she should call back and decline. Her father looked perfectly healthy last time she was over.
When she got back to the table, a cute guy was sitting opposite Darlene. Rather than ask him to leave so they could study, April told her she needed to do something for her mom. “I’ll see you tomorrow night for the final.”
They hugged good-night. Not in the mood to cook, she stopped off at one of the Quad restaurants to grab a bite. She’d been content to be alone before she met Randy and Blake. Now her whole life had turned upside down. The worst part was that her stubbornness had been the cause. She could go back to Randy and Blake and say she made a mistake. She could tell them that she was willing to live with someone who seemed removed from life.
Secret Temptation [The Callens 3] (Siren Publishing M?nage Everlasting) Page 13