by L. C. Davis
It turned, but someone pulled it out of my grasp. I cried out as I fell back against the bannister and light blinded me. When my vision finally cleared, Locke was standing there, watching me. He wasn’t smirking or sneering as usual, he was just watching me like he was as surprised to see me as I was to see him. His green eyes filled with concern as he reached for me and I jolted, because as much as I wanted out of that basement, there was part of me that wasn’t sure what part of this was real, or what part I wanted to be.
“Holden,” he said, kneeling to take my face in his hands. The touch was jarring even though he was being uncharacteristically gentle, and he was searching my face. “What are you doing down here? Everyone’s been looking for you.”
I opened my mouth and tried to answer but the words caught in my throat and all that escaped was a strangled, “Ngh.” That stupid, meaningless sound unleashed the floodgates and I started sobbing. At first, he didn’t seem to know what to do, but then he leaned in and pulled me into his arms and even though he was the last person I should have found comforting, I clung to him.
“It’s alright,” he soothed, stroking my hair and my back. He moved to sit next to me and I gripped him tighter, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he pulled me onto his lap and I buried my face in his neck, his scent enveloping me, a more solid tie to my new reality than sight or sound. I knew shame would set in eventually and I’d regret showing such weakness in front of him, regret the way I was clinging to him like he was a life preserver, but in that moment, he was absolutely everything and my greatest fear was letting him go.
“Don’t go,” I pleaded. I hated the way I sounded, small and broken, but I hated the thought of him leaving even more.
“I’ve got you,” he promised, his arms wrapped tight enough around me that it was hard to breathe, but he was the only reason breathing was even possible. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I waited for him to make some remark to lighten the mood, almost craved it, but he didn’t. Instead, he pulled me to my feet and tolerated my insistence on keeping his shirt balled in my fists. The door had fallen shut again and I couldn’t see, but I had a feeling Locke could.
“Let’s get you out of here,” he said softly. I nodded and the fact that we were in my room the next instant was proof that he could see in the dark even when he wasn’t a cat. I shut my eyes because the light in my room was blinding and Locke held me steady, brushing the hair out of my face. “What happened? Why were you down there?”
I shook my head. I didn’t have the presence of mind to come up with a lie, but I knew I couldn’t tell him the truth. He sighed, leading me over to the bed. He sat down beside me and as my eyes began to adjust to the light, I realized he was still staring at me. “I have to admit, you picked a decent place to hide from me. Even I wouldn’t have expected you to lock yourself in a basement.”
“It wasn’t locked when I went down there,” I mumbled.
He watched me and I could tell he was trying to decide which strategy he was going to use to get the answers he wanted. Good cop or bad cop. He was so much better at being bad.
“You were looking for me?” I asked hoarsely. A bottle of water appeared in his hand and he twisted off the cap before offering it to me. I drank the whole thing and gasped for breath afterward.
“Not just me. The wolf has been panicking all morning.”
“Morning?” I croaked. That’s what I got for racking up sleep debt.
“I’ll hand it to you, making him worry like that is crueler than even I’d be able to stomach. I hope he deserved it.”
I grimaced. “He didn’t. We got in an argument, but I wasn’t trying to scare him, I just fell asleep and forgot my phone.” I hesitated. “How’d you find me?”
“You’re mine, I’ll always find you. Would’ve found you sooner if that idiot hadn’t waited so long to tell me you were gone,” he muttered. “I just assumed you were with him, and you picked the one place neither of us can trace you to.”
“I thought the spell only kept Nick out of the house.”
“It does, but it’s a general ward. My powers don’t work well there. Why do you think I wanted you out of that apartment?”
“Because the closet was small and you have enough clothes to fill a department store?”
He rolled his eyes. “Well, that, too. Are you going to tell me what you were looking for, or should I let the wolf interrogate you?”
It was a far more effective threat than any other and the only person I wanted to know what I was doing in that basement even less than Locke was Nick. “I was looking for a journal. Mrs. Marrin’s family kept a record of everything that happened in town, and since Nick won’t tell me anything about the Whitakers, I figured it was my best shot at getting answers.”
“Ah,” he said knowingly. “I knew it had something to do with your lovers’ quarrel.”
“Do you know where the journal is?”
“No, and I have no interest in a witch’s version of events, but you should’ve asked Daniel. He lived there, you know.”
“That would have been the smart thing to do,” I conceded. “Are you going to tell Nick why I was down there?”
He scoffed. “Half the fun of being a demon is keeping people’s dirty little secrets. I won’t even tell him where you are, if you’d like to prolong his suffering.”
“No,” I said emphatically. “Where is he?”
“No idea, but let’s find out, shall we?” He snapped his fingers and a huge, dark wolf sprawled onto the floor mid-run. His paws planted on the floor and his golden eyes scanned the room, as if he was confused by his new surroundings, before they settled on me. I blinked and Nick was standing in the middle of the room, fully human and buck naked. He lunged and threw his arms around me, knocking the breath from my lungs.
“Holden,” he breathed, his voice still a snarl that was more wolf than man as he held me, burying his nose in my hair. He pulled away, crushing my face in his hands as he looked me over and the terror mingling with relief in his eyes made me feel even more like shit. “Are you hurt?” he demanded, looking over at Locke like he was ready to attack him depending on my answer.
“I’m fine,” I said quickly. “I fell asleep at my old apartment and Locke found me.”
“You weren’t in your apartment,” Nick said, looking me over in renewed concern. “I sent Daniel in and he said it didn’t look like anyone had been there for days.”
So Daniel was involved. Great.
“Remind me to teach you to lie at some point,” said Locke. “I’ll give you lovebirds some time to sort things out.”
“Wait,” I called.
Locke lingered in the doorway. “Hm?”
“Thank you,” I said, never thinking I’d have the chance to utter those words and mean it. “For...you know. Letting me out of the basement.” And for holding me and not mocking me while I sobbed, but I couldn’t bring myself to admit that in front of Nick.
A slow smile spread across his lips. “Anytime, love.”
He closed the door and I turned back to Nick. “Basement?” he demanded.
“It’s a long story,” I sighed. “I’m sorry I scared you. I lost track of time and I forgot my phone…”
“Yeah, I know,” he said, slipping it out of his pocket. He offered it to me and I winced when I saw that it was almost noon. “Scaring me would be the understatement of the year. I thought you were dead, Holden. I thought Locke had taken you, if not Remiel or worse…”
“I know, and I’m sorry.”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it,” he growled. “I get that you’re upset at me, and you have every right to be angry, but you can’t ever do that again. I have to know where you are, no matter how pissed you are.”
“I told you it was an accident. Believe it or not, not everything I do is about making your life harder.”
I waited for the argument I could tell was on his lips, but he bit it back and sighed. “What were you doing in Mrs. Marrin’s basement?”
“I don’t keep secrets because I want to, Holden, I keep them to protect you. If I could, I’d share everything with you, but that’s not how it works.”
“Can we not get into this again?” I pleaded. “We’re both exhausted and I smell like a basement. Locke is going to want to start lessons soon and I just want to take a shower and calm down first.”
“Calm down?” he frowned. “Did something happen?”
“No. I just got locked in, I’m fine.”
He frowned. “You’re not fine if you spent all night locked in a basement. I know you’re mad, but if you need to talk…”
“If I need to talk, I’ll call you,” I promised, opening the door. “Right now I really don’t.”
He looked like he wanted to argue but he finally gave up, slinking over to the door like a scolded dog. “We are going to talk about this,” he said, looking pointedly at me. “Later, when you’re feeling better.”
I nodded because I didn’t have the strength to argue anymore. Once I heard his footsteps on the stairs, I leaned back against the door and let out a deep breath. As shitty as I was at most of the magic Locke tried to teach me, I was good at making people disappear.
Thirteen
DANIEL
After the scare with Holden was over, life went back to the new normal and for the first time, I was happier in my afterlife than I ever had been in my actual life. I wasn’t sure if Asher and I were dating, exactly, and I was afraid that making any attempt to define things would ruin what we had going, but we were spending a lot of time together for people with two full-time jobs and all the shit he had going with the Town Council. I realized I’d dodged a bullet when I’d asked him if he wanted to go up to Burlington with me to see a movie only to have him pull out his planner and spend thirty minutes “moving things around.” I’d only ever been interested in the civil service job to keep him from it, but in the weeks that passed following the gala, I had come to realize that despite literally being from another world, Asher took his town-related responsibilities more seriously than anyone else on the Council.
Before I’d gotten to know him, his attention to detail and order had made him seem nefarious, but now I found it kind of cute, the way he obsessed over every little thing. Sometimes it was a pain in the ass, like when I’d showed up at his office with lunch and tried to come onto him only to have him turn me down because he didn’t want to “rumple” the papers on his desk, but every relationship had its quirks.
We hadn’t actually fucked yet, and between consulting work I was doing for the local parks department and a case that had him in Burlington more often than not, I had barely even seen him, but I was hoping that would change over the weekend. I’d confiscated his planner and penciled in a solid day and a half without telling him why, and I already had a partial-weekend getaway planned at a little bed and breakfast in the next town over. It wasn’t far, but I knew it would be good for the both of us to get out of Stillwater, even if it was only by a few miles.
Locke had quite literally opened up shop and it seemed like everywhere I went, he was networking or running errands. I’d been wary of having the “I don’t want to be frenemies with benefits anymore” conversation, but I hadn’t expected his response to be a simple, “No problem.” I still wasn’t entirely sure I’d escaped his wrath, but he waved at me whenever we crossed paths and seemed pleasant enough. The other day, I’d returned to my apartment to find a familiar white Styrofoam cup waiting for me in the refrigerator, dashing my suspicion that he was planning on holding my addiction over my head.
Maybe he wasn’t as bad as I’d given him credit for.
That night, I had plans to meet Nick at Cal’s to catch up. He’d had a lot more time on his hands lately and I knew the only reason I’d seen him as much as I had was because things were still tense with his family and with Holden, but I’d promised myself that I would turn over a new, less angsty leaf and I was trying not to hold it against him. He needed me and for once, I felt like I could be there for him as a friend, no emotional strings or bitter longing attached. I still had feelings for him and I knew that wasn’t going to change anytime soon, but actually remembering what it was like to be happy and in a tentative relationship had been a necessary reminder of all the many reasons why Nick and I would never be that for each other.
I checked my watch and closed up a bit early since I didn’t have any more patients scheduled for the day and headed for the bar. Nick was waiting for me and the moment I saw his face, I knew he wasn’t going to have any good news to report. I coughed so he’d have a second of warning and he nodded at me as I took the stool next to him.
“Hey. What’s up?”
“Nothing much,” I said, realizing he’d ordered for me when the bartender placed a mug in front of me. “How’ve you been?”
“Good enough,” he said, running a hand down his face. “Aside from everything going to hell, but what else is new?”
“Holden still pissed at you for being a dick?”
He scowled at me.
“You know I’m always in your corner, but sensitivity has never been your forte.”
He sighed. “I know. I’ve apologized like a thousand times and he says he’s over it, but I can tell he’s not. I don’t know why I thought dating a guy would be less drama.”
“Yeah, I don’t know why you thought that,” I snorted. “Guy, girl, everything in between and outside the binary, it doesn’t matter. People are people. I know you didn’t ask for my advice, but I think you’d have an easier time if you just took Holden at face value instead of projecting your own expectations onto him.”
He stared blankly at me. “What?”
I rolled my eyes. “You apologized. He knows you’re sorry, and he said he forgave you. That’s all you can do. Either he really has forgiven you and just needs some time to process or he’s lying, in which case, it’s not your problem. Either way, you trying to read between the lines is just going to create drama where isn’t any.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why, because you imprinted on him?” I challenged. “Even if it’s not a normal relationship, at the end of the day, it still has to function like one if it’s gonna work. The only difference is, if you pull a you, you’re still stuck together.”
He frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Come on. Your serious relationship track record is as good as mine,” I said dryly. “Only I get fucked over by assholes, and you turn into the asshole the moment things get serious.”
“That’s not --”
“Lauren,” I said pointedly.
He winced. “Okay, so Lauren.”
“And Jessica. Does Holden even know you dated Jessica, or is that just getting catalogued under the ever-growing file for confidential Whitaker-eyes-only information?”
“You know, generally people go out drinking with their buddies to feel better, not worse.”
“I care about you too much to make you feel better when you’re about to repeat the same pattern that always fucks you over,” I admitted. “That and we’re not talking about Jess or even Lauren. What you have with Holden is different, and when you’re not being an asshole, it makes you a better person. That’s why I don’t want to see you fuck this up because you’re scared it won’t work, like you always do. So yeah, if that makes me a shitty drinking buddy, fine, but I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t say it.”
He watched me for a moment and from the look on his face, I stood about a fifty-fifty shot of getting punched, but he finally sighed and finished the rest of his beer. “You’re not really a friend,” he muttered. “More like a brother, and at this point, you’re probably the only one of those who’s not pissed at me.”
“They’ll come around. They kind of have to, you being next-in-line for Alpha and all.”
“Tha
t’s why they’re avoiding me,” he scoffed. “If things had gone even slightly different that night at the gala, it would’ve come down to a challenge and they all know it. They’re afraid to do anything that might make it look like they’re taking sides.”
“And if it did come down to a challenge?” I asked warily.
He shook his head. “I don’t know. I think Allen would back me up, but they wouldn’t have a choice if I won.”
“And you’d have to fight your uncle to win?”
“Yeah.” The way he said it made it clear that even winning wasn’t really winning in this case.
“Maybe for the moment, it’s a good thing that Holden is distant.”
“Distant wouldn’t be so bad, it’s the fact that he’s actually acting like he enjoys spending time with Locke that worries me,” he muttered. “I don’t trust that freak and I still don’t know what Holden was doing in Mrs. Marrin’s basement.”
“I don’t know, either, but do you ever think we worry too much about Locke?”
He looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “Seriously?”
“I’m just saying, he hasn’t actually done anything.”
“He’s the reason you’re dead!”
“No, I’m dead because Brent ran me off the road. Locke benefitted from all of it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s doing anything.”
“He’s a demon, Daniel.”
“So I’ve heard. But I don’t believe in the ‘other side,’ and the only angel I’ve met is a prick, so that doesn’t mean much. Yeah, he was pushy about trying to get Holden to move out, but after what happened a couple of weeks ago, I can kind of understand why he wouldn’t want him there.”
Nick frowned but he seemed to be thinking about it. “Would the new and improved Optimistic Daniel have anything to do with ‘Asher?’” He still said the name in a silly tone, like he was talking about the Easter Bunny, but at least I’d gotten him to stop calling my sort-of boyfriend Dennis around me. It was becoming increasingly important to me to separate my feelings for the two of them, and the constant reminder wasn’t helping.