by L. C. Davis
“Sure. Not like it’d be the first thing I kept from him,” he sighed. “But you’re gonna tell Locke at least, right?”
“Yeah. We promised each other no more secrets, so I figure I’d better start with a clean slate,” I admitted.
His mouth twitched at one corner. “Wish I could make a promise like that in good faith.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s just say I think we both judged Nick a bit too harshly about all the clandestine behavior,” he said sourly. “It’s one thing from the outside looking in, but the secrecy itself is like a curse. It pulls you in.” He shook his head. “Anyway, is this place secure?” he asked, moving along the room to check the windows, fidgeting with the locks.
“I mean, Locke had me ward it pretty heavily when we first moved in and I’m sure he’s got other stuff in place.”
Daniel gave me a look. “I wasn’t talking about charms and spells. I meant more practical measures. Do you have a security system or anything?”
“Oh. Uh, no. Not as far as I know.”
He sighed. “Hocus pocus isn’t gonna stop anyone from breaking the windows. I know your dad likes to think he’s a miracle worker, but sometimes old-fashioned threats are just as bad.”
When he put it like that, I felt even less secure than I had. “I’ll talk to Locke.”
Daniel snorted. “Maybe you trust Locke, but I don’t. I’ll be back in twenty,” he said, walking through the door before I could ask what he had planned. I busied myself with cleaning the rest of the shop, but not a full twenty minutes had passed before Daniel was back with a blanket and a duffel bag over his shoulder.
“What’s that?”
“My stuff.”
“Why?”
“I’m staying the night.”
I blinked. “Why?”
“Because there’s a psycho prowling around Stillwater looking for you, you don’t want your guard dog involved and your guard cat is more adept at handling mice than physical threats, that’s why,” he said, dropping his things by the desk.
“No offense, but what are you supposed to do? You’re human now.”
Daniel pulled his jacket aside to reveal the gun holstered on his hip. I gasped. “Where did you get that?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “You don’t have to whisper, it’s registered and I’m licensed. Army, remember?”
“Oh. Right,” I mumbled. “I forget sometimes.”
“Believe it or not, I’m still a good shot,” he said dryly.
“Why wouldn’t you be?”
He paused, then tapped his eye.
“Glass. Right. Guess I forgot that, too.”
“Yeah, well, I did finally get Locke to stop calling me Blackbeard,” he muttered.
“Daniel, I appreciate the gesture, really, but you don’t have to do this. Especially not tonight…”
“Trust me, I could use the distraction.”
“Well, at least come stay in the house. You know there’s, like, a thousand guest rooms.”
He looked warily through the curtain. “If it’s all the same, I think I’ll just stay on the couch. I’m still recovering from Locke’s room.”
“Can’t say I blame you,” I said, leading him into the house. “Are you hungry? I’m sure there’s still something in the freezer that hasn’t gone bad.”
“Not really, but I promised myself if I could ever eat again without getting sick, I wouldn’t waste the opportunity,” he said with a grin.
I snickered. That explained why he looked a bit huskier now that he wasn’t in a fitted suit. I pulled the freezer open and found a pizza to pop into the oven along with some boxed appetizers Locke would have gagged at. “Drink?” I offered, rummaging through the fridge until I found a few bottles of beer in the back behind something fuzzy I was pretty sure had once been cauliflower.
“Thanks. So, where’s Wormwood?”
“A C.S. Lewis reference from the atheist?” I teased. “Don’t tell me you converted in my absence.”
“Hardly,” he snorted, taking a swig of beer. “My mom was about as zealous as they come. Your parents aside, that is.”
“They set the bar,” I conceded. “You know what’s funny?”
“Hm?”
“The whole time I was up there--or down, maybe, it’s hard to keep track--all I could think was, well, that I couldn’t believe that was what they spent their whole lives obsessing on their knees over.” I laughed. “A bureaucratic Heaven that’s run by angels who just push pencils for the sake of it, a Hell filled with hedonistic demons and lost souls, and a God who doesn’t give a shit about any of it. If God exists at all.” Daniel fell silent, giving me just enough time to regret my words. “Sorry. I know you don’t like all this afterlife stuff.”
“Doesn’t really matter. It exists whether I like it or not. Honestly, aside from the angels and demons, I guess it’s pretty much what I figured.”
“You were right, for what it’s worth,” I said. “Maybe there is an afterlife, but this is what matters. Life here on Earth is all that’s worth fighting for. I can’t say I understand everything Locke and Adam did, but I understand why they did it now. I believe that Locke doesn’t want this world to end, if for no other reason than the fact that there’s nothing better coming after it.”
“And they say I’m the nihilist.”
I smiled a little. “Is there room for one more in the club?”
“Always.”
Locke appeared at the door and, as usual, I wasn’t sure how long he’d been there. “Well, isn’t this cozy? Shouldn’t you be exposing yourself to heartworm right about now?”
“Behave yourself,” I said, folding my arms. “My dad showed up at the Mills place last night and Daniel offered to stay to keep an eye on things.”
“I’m well aware of the televangelist situation,” Locke scoffed, planting a hand on his hip. “You really trust this clod to protect you more than me?”
“You knew my dad was out of prison and you didn’t say anything?” I snapped.
“Calm down, I just found out.”
“How?” I demanded.
“I have my sources.”
“Locke,” I said firmly. “I thought we’d come to an understanding. No more secrets.”
He rolled his eyes. “Fine, if you must know.” He snapped his fingers and Asher popped up in the middle of the room, seemingly as bewildered by his sudden appearance as I was.
Asher looked between the three of us and scowled at Locke. “What is it now?”
I blinked. I hadn’t expected a warm reception or anything, but he didn’t seem the slightest bit surprised to see me.
“Holden is being demandy now that he knows who he is,” Locke said boredly. “Go ahead and tell him.”
“Tell me what?” I asked, eyeing Asher. He looked at Locke like he was trying to figure out whether he was being tested and Daniel looked like he was ready to use Asher for target practice. “What do you have to do with this, Asher?”
Asher’s eyes widened and I remembered he had no idea I knew his real name.
Daniel’s hand went to his gun but he didn’t take his eyes off Asher. “Yeah, Mills. Go ahead and tell us why you’re always wherever it is you shouldn’t be.”
Asher swallowed but said nothing, looking between me and Daniel like he was trying to figure out whether refusing to answer was worth a bullet. To be fair, I doubted it would kill him after what I’d seen him turn into.
“Since Twinkles is shy, I’ll do the honors,” said Locke.“Asherath works for me.”
“Since when?” Daniel growled.
“Since always,” said Locke.
I recalled Dennis’ words in Hell. The deal Lilian had made with Locke. It had slipped to the bottom of my priority list compared to getting out of Hell, but I was starting to get curious again. “You’re a changeling.”
Asher’s eyes widened. “What?”
“I saw Dennis Mills in Hell,” I said carefully, gauging Daniel’s reaction. “H
e said that’s what you were. He said Lilian made a deal with Locke to have you sent here. To take his place.”
“I see,” he said quietly.
“Of fucking course you did,” Daniel snapped, pacing the room. He finally stopped to look at me. “Dennis was there? Is he still --?”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Daniel. Michael...”
“Fuck.” He turned on Locke, his gaze livid. “Is there anyone I’ve fucked that isn’t wrapped up in your cosmic bullshit?”
Locke put a finger to his lips and seemed to be considering it. “Does that fling you had with Carla’s sister count?”
“Forget I asked.”
“Is it true?” I asked Asher. “Did you really agree to this because Locke promised you a mate?”
“I did,” he said somberly.
“When we met at the bar… It wasn’t an accident, was it?”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry I deceived you.”
“Go ahead. Tell him the rest, while we’re filling in the gaps,” Daniel snarled. “Tell him what you did to Dennis. Tell him how you tore him apart and stole his fucking face.”
Asher tilted his head, watching Daniel in a mixture of curiosity and guilt. “You saw that? How?” He looked at Locke next and the venom in his gaze made it clear he had already answered his own question.
“It doesn’t matter how, what matters is that you’re a twisted freak who murders people.”
“And what was Dennis?” he shot back. “I can assure you, he deserved more than whatever Michael did to him.”
“Maybe he did, but that doesn’t make you any better.”
I waited for Asher to argue or at least make some attempt to defend himself. Instead, his shoulders sagged and he whispered, “No, I suppose it doesn’t.”
“Well, now that we’re all on the same page, who’s hungry?” Locke asked, peeking into the oven. He grimaced and the smell of burnt pizza filled my nostrils. “Maybe we’ll order in.”
I grabbed Locke’s arm. “You could have told me Asher was one of the Seven,” I hissed.
“I was going to, but there was never really a good time. That and I kind of forgot. He’s like wallpaper, he’s sort of just...there.”
“Who are the others?” I demanded. “No more surprises. Who’s it gonna be next, the butcher? Mrs. Marrin?”
Locke’s nose wrinkled. “If I thought you swung both ways, I’d have gone for the pink-haired girl who works at the market.”
“I’ll tell you,” Asher said in a clipped tone. “Since Locke is so open about other people’s secrets.”
The demon’s face fell but he said nothing. Daniel still looked like he was on the brink of attacking, but he was holding it together admirably well, considering the news about Dennis.
“Go ahead,” I said, not entirely sure I wanted to know the answer.
“You already know about Nick. I’m the abomination,” he muttered. “Todd Anderson is the vampire, Locke is the demon, and as far as the other three, I’m not sure how much going back in time changed things.”
“You know about that?” I asked.
“You and Daniel are both covered in kronus energy. Time travel is the only logical explanation,” he said with a shrug. “As far as the witch, the undead and the angel, I have no idea what Locke has planned.”
“Logical. Right,” muttered Daniel. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know about my role in his fucked-up ritual.”
Asher frowned. “What? You were never part of the ritual.”
Daniel squinted like he wasn’t sure if Asher was bluffing. Something in the other man’s voice told me he wasn’t. Asher looked at Locke, his eyes narrowed dangerously. I hadn’t seen that look on his face since the garden when he’d been prepared to fight Remiel. “What have you done?”
“Nothing that hasn’t been undone already,” Locke said, shifting nervously. “Who’s up for Chinese?”
Asher pinned the demon against the wall, his hand wrapped around Locke’s throat. “I told you not to touch him. That was my one fucking condition.”
I could count the number of times I’d heard him swear on one hand. Even Daniel didn’t seem to know what to make of his sudden shift in demeanor.
“You don’t have the right to ‘conditions,’” Locke hissed. “I promised you a mate, it’s not my fault you changed your mind.”
“What is he talking about?” Daniel demanded.
Asher hesitated only a moment before he released Locke. He looked at Daniel and seemed to be about to answer before he shook his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be here.”
“Wait!” Daniel growled, stalking after him. He caught Asher’s arm, but he disappeared in a cloud of gray smoke and dust that littered the kitchen floor.
Locke grimaced at the dust. “Ew.”
“Explain. Now,” I demanded.
The demon sighed. “Asherath was a freak in his dimension. No one would have agreed to be his mate, so his mother cut a deal. I needed an abomination for the ritual, he needed a happily-ever-after. It was a win-win situation. It’s not my fault he had buyer’s remorse.”
“You can’t force him to do this if he doesn’t want to. It’s wrong,” I said. “I resent the fact that I even have to say that to you.”
“Calm down, Pollyanna, it’s not his part in the ritual that has his shiny knickers in a knot.”
“Then what is it?”
“Let’s just say he’s handling it better than he did when he found out Daniel died the first time.”
“Why does he give a shit about me?” Daniel asked, frowning. “Why does he care if I’m one of the Seven or not? Why would you keep that from him?”
“You know the dumb jock routine only works if you keep the six-pack, right?” Locke asked, blinking innocently. “Asherath came to Earth because he wanted a mate, and along the way, he found something he wanted more.”
Daniel’s eyes widened as he realized what I’d suspected for some time. Asher was in love with him.
“Asherath made a deal and he knows what’s at stake if he goes back on it,” Locke said firmly. “He asked me to leave Daniel out of it, and I said I’d do what I could, but the opportunity presented itself with his death and I took it. He’d been salty in the other timeline ever since, and I’d hoped the one silver lining of you two idiots running off would be resetting him, but nothing ever works out the way I want it to.”
“You’re the one who showed Daniel what Asher did to Dennis,” I realized aloud. “He didn’t want to go along with your plan. They were getting too close, and you did it to get back at him, didn’t you? To drive them apart?”
“Does it matter?” Locke asked defensively. “It happened all the same. I didn’t lie.”
“Of course it matters,” I hissed. “How people feel, the way you manipulate their emotions, it all matters!”
“I need some fresh air,” Daniel muttered. He looked paler than he had when he was dead. The back door fell shut and Locke flinched as if in anticipation of my oncoming wrath. The sympathy card worked a lot better when he was in his cat form.
“I can’t believe you.”
“Come on, is this really the worst thing I’ve done?”
“No, but it’s definitely the slimiest,” I muttered, turning off the stove before heading upstairs.
“Where are you going?” Locke demanded, running after me.
“To my room. I don’t want to be around you right now.”
He stopped following me and I didn’t need to see him to feel the hurt emanating from him. It was strange to feel his emotion--strange to realize he had any--but I chalked it up to whatever link sleeping with him had forged between us. Like navigating my own feelings wasn’t complicated enough.
“You’re the one who told me to be honest with you,” he gritted out. “‘No more secrets,’ and ‘equal terms.’ Remember that?”
“Yes,” I conceded.
“Then why are you punishing me for telling you the truth?”
I turned to face him,
gripping the banister. “I’m not punishing you, Locke. That’s the problem. That’s what you don’t understand. Your actions, your choices, your words, they all have consequences. They make other people feel things, and you don’t get to decide otherwise. That’s part of being human.”
“You’re not human!” he snapped. “You’re an angel.”
“Not anymore, I’m not. Maybe this is why. Maybe this is why I fell, to understand the way it feels. Heaven and Hell are the way they are because none of you, angels or demons, understand the value of any of the things that make human life worth living. You don’t understand the pain of loving someone, or all the other things that go along with it. You just see people as toys, as tools to get what you want.”
“I’m a demon,” he said, his voice trembling in rage. “It’s in my nature to use people, to corrupt them. I chose to protect them, to turn my back on my nature, my home, my own mother, because it’s what you wanted and you’re telling me I don’t understand love?”
It wasn’t his words so much as the pain within them that cut so deeply. I blinked and he was in front of me, all rage and pain and every other vice he wore so well. “Locke…”
“You have no idea what I’ve done for you,” he said, his tone softening as he reached out like he was going to touch my cheek only to pull back at the last moment. “You’re right. I don’t understand this world the way you do, as long as I’ve lived in it. All the trivial things that matter so much to them, when their lives won’t matter for more than an instant. They always mattered to you, even back then. I hated them because they mattered to you more than I did, even though I was the one at your side and they were just flickering lights in the distance, here one moment and gone the next.”
“Locke, I’m sure that’s not true,” I said, taken off-guard by his sudden display of vulnerability. As always, it was hard to tell if it was genuine. I decided that even if he was just trying to play the sympathy card, there was some truth to his words.
“It is,” he said with a sad smile. “But I will try. For you, I’ll try to understand your beloved swamp creatures and their petty little troubles. That’s all I can do.”
I took his hand and found that it was cool to the touch again, or maybe my temperature had simply gone back to normal. I still didn’t feel quite human, but the power that had flooded me after feeding on him had settled to the point where I was only aware of it when I thought about it. “That’s good enough for me,” I said, giving his hand a squeeze. I leaned in to kiss him and he stumbled, nearly falling back before I caught him with my arm around his waist.