“Is he going to be all right?”
“He’s in deep shit with the Club. He went rogue tonight.” The Club’s van backs out the driveway—a timely reminder of just how crazy tonight became. “Leaving them a mess like this to clean up. It’s not looking good for him.”
“If it helps, he saved my life tonight—and he saved me and Kerry from a lifetime of being whored out to feed our uncle’s habit.”
Cole’s father clamps his hand down on my shoulder and gives it two squeezes. “I’ll tell them what you said. Not sure how much help it’ll be.”
As he walks away, I sit back down on the door step and observe the thinning crowd. Shari is being piggybacked by Brian back toward his bike. I wave when she looks at me, but she turns her head without responding. I guess now she’s satisfied that I’m okay, she’s going back to ignoring me.
Bonnie pushes her way onto the other side of the step. I move Kerry along so she’ll fit. My sole remaining friend has a manic gleam in her eyes. She’s always been the dare devil among the three of us. Tonight, would be at the top of her list of adventures, an exciting little distraction in her cosy middle-class life. Pity that this is actually my real life.
“I’m telling you,” she crows. “I knew the plan was good. But, I never in my wildest dreams thought that it would turn out like this. Who knew these bad boys were worth killing over?”
She cups my breasts with a laugh. I slap her hands away which makes her giggle harder. Bonnie continues her bragging while I try to tune her out. “Cole looks like such a placid teddy bear. When I told you to make him fall for you so he’d protect you, I never expected him to kill someone to do it. Now, Paddy, he looks like he’d kill for fun. Cole, on the other hand, I thought he might beat your uncle up a couple times, but I didn’t see him as a being psycho enough for this.”
I’m twisting my hands together, bending my fingers until they hurt. Hearing her rehash our plan is kicking my guilt up to full throttle. I need to tell Cole the truth before he finds out from someone else. None of this was never as mercenary as Bonnie is making it seem.
“Maybe it’s true what they say. You can’t judge a book by its cover.” Bonnie winks at me. “For sure never thought you had it in you to play him so well. Now, you’re free of your crazy uncle, you should take up the fiddle. You certainly played Cole like one. I need lessons so I—”
“So, that’s how it is?” Cole cuts into Bonnie’s droning monologue. “Pretend you like me so I’ll get rid of your uncle for you—like I’m some pathetic hired gun who takes payment in kisses.”
“Cole, I—”
“Don’t bother, Colleen,” he snarls. He sounds like he hates me, but I see the hurt in his eyes. It breaks my heart to see it. “You didn’t have to play me. All you had to do was ask. I would have helped you, anyway.”
He spins on his heel. I push Kerry off me and jump to my feet so I can follow him. Paddy and Brian step in front of me. Paddy holds up a hand and shakes his head. Brian looks at me like I’ve just kicked his dog.
“Dude, come on,” I hear Vic arguing with Cole. “It might have started like that, but anyone with eyes can see that she likes you now.”
There’s a grunt, then the sound of flesh hitting flesh. A motorcycle roars to life and takes off down the street too fast. Dangerously fast. I push between Paddy and Brian. They try to stop me, only to step aside when they see something in my face that changes their minds.
I run to the curb. Vic is sitting on the grass holding his face. Cole is nowhere to be seen.
“It wasn’t the way Bonnie made it sound,” I protest, dropping to my knees next to him.
“I know that,” Vic replies. He spits a mouthful of blood onto the grass and gingerly touches his swollen face. “He’ll come around. Just needs some time to cool down.”
I don’t bother answering him. There’s enough doubt in his voice for both of us. Cole is strong and brave. He’s also extremely proud. What I did is enough to dent any man’s pride, let alone someone like Colin Blake.
I don’t think there’s any coming back from this.
TWENTY-THREE
Colin
Pushing Vic’s bike to the limit, I ride like a lunatic without a destination around Brisbane. Vic’s Harley is whining under my punishment, yet I can’t hear it. All I can hear is Bonnie gloating about how well their plan worked.
I hadn’t been able to believe my ears when I first heard her. I’d waited for Colleen to deny it—to say something to show that Bonnie was wrong. That everything I thought we had hadn’t been built on a lie.
She hadn’t said a thing.
Not. A. Fucking. Thing.
No excuses. No explanations. She’d just sat there and let Bonnie revel in their triumph.
I thought Colleen cared about me. Turns out I was more than the placid teddy bear that Bonnie had labelled me. I was a blind and stupid idiot—a moron capable of being led around by his dick.
Up ahead of me, I see my home. I hadn’t made a conscious decision to head back here, yet it makes sense that this is where I find myself. I have nowhere else to go. Vic, Paddy, and Brian will still be cleaning up my mess. My dad will be dying under the embarrassment of his screw up of a son. Even the Clubhouse is out of bounds. Leo told me I wasn’t welcome until my meeting tomorrow morning to determine my punishment for breaking the Black Shamrocks constitution.
Tomorrow doesn’t worry me. I don’t see how it can get any worse. Leo has already stripped me of the Prospect’s rocker that I’d stitched onto the back of my vest not even a year ago. He’d made me rip it off when he walked into Colleen’s house and saw Wizard groaning in pain on the floor from the bullet wound I’d inflicted. My Prez’s temper had turned nuclear when he spotted Greg McCormack in a tangled heap, dead as a motherfucking doornail in the house where he’d made his nieces lives a living hell. He’d declared me out of the Club and told me that there would be a price to pay.
Revving Vic’s bike, I burn rubber on the driveway, stopping once the tire is shredded. Mum can yell at me all she likes. Her disappointment is the least of my worries right now because when Dad gets home, he’s liable to kill me with his bare hands. I’ve done the exact opposite of what he told me, and it’s put him in an impossible position.
“Colin,” Mum screeches when I stomp through the front door. “I know you’re upset, but there’s no need to—”
“I’m not in the mood for a lecture.” I sweep past her and into the kitchen. I need a beer—or thirty. What I don’t need is what greets me when I’m through the doorway.
Colleen sits at our kitchen table. The blood from the wicked bite she inflicted on Wizard has been washed away from her face. The tiny split in her slightly swollen lip and a small bruise on her cheek are the only outward signs that she’s been through hell tonight.
On closer inspection, I discover that’s not necessarily true. Colleen looks tired, bone-weary, and little bit scared. It takes me a second, but I realise that she’s scared of me. And that fucking hurts. I’ve done nothing to warrant her looking at me like I’m dangerous to her. To others, yes, but never a danger to her.
“Cole,” she begins.
I hold up a hand to silence her. Almost ripping the door off the fridge in my haste to get a beer, I grab a six pack and slam the door shut.
“I’m—” Colleen tries to speak to me again.
“Look,” I say with as much patience as I can muster. “I’m okay with what you did. You were fun for a while, but let’s face it, we’re not exactly suited. Let’s cut our losses now and try and be friends, hey?’
It’s a low blow. I know how Colleen will interpret the “not suited” remark, and it makes me feel like an asshole. Not a big enough one to take it back, but an asshole nonetheless. She’s going to think it’s her weight that I’m referring to when it’s not. Not in a million years. I love her softness, the curve of her breasts and the swell of her hips. Not to mention her generous ass. Every man has a type, and Colleen is mine.
No, we’re not suited because she’s too good for me. My hands are sullied and they’ll get dirtier the longer I live. Why? Because pulling the trigger tonight showed me something. It taught me that I enjoy hurting people. I doubt there will be anything else that happens in my life that gives me more satisfaction than burying a bullet between Greg McCormack’s eyes.
“I understand,” Colleen answers in a whisper.
Yep, I’m an asshole, but I can sleep easy knowing I’ve done one good thing tonight.
I set my girl free.
TWENTY-FOUR
Colleen
Cole walks out of the kitchen with the six-pack of beer tucked under his arm. I wait until I can’t see him any longer to let the tears that are making my eyes ache slip down my cheeks. Slumping forward, I bury my face in my hands and sob.
I’ve lost him and it’s all my fault.
I could blame Bonnie and her big mouth, but that would be dishonest. I’ve had enough of the lies and the secrets. If I hadn’t gone along with her plan. If I’d come clean the morning he told me about his father’s ultimatum. If I’d done anything, but hide the truth from him, we would be together tonight.
“Hey,” Mrs. Blake sits in the seat next to me. “Don’t cry. If you need, I’ll kick his ass for taking his mood out on you.”
Lifting my head, I try to stop the sobbing long enough to explain to her that it’s not Cole who’s in the wrong.
“Not... his... fault. I... lied. Hurt... him.”
Cole’s mum brushes my hair away from my face. Her pretty face turns sad. “Honey, I’m sure you didn’t mean to hurt him. Quinn told me some of what’s happened to you. We both know that none of this is your fault. The adults who were supposed to take care of you let you down and you did the best you could in the circumstances. If Cole can’t understand that, then I didn’t raise that boy as well as I thought.”
With her thumbs, she wipes away the twin torrents that are streaming down my cheeks. “I know you’ve already washed up, but I think you should have a shower. Everything feels better when you’re clean.”
The front of my shirt is stained with blood and wet with tears. My jeans are covered in grass stains. Mrs. Blake is right. I need to wash away tonight. It’s the only way to pretend that this nightmare never happened.
“What about Kerry?” If my little sister wakes up while I’m gone, she’s liable to have a meltdown. It took every trick I knew to get her to sleep in the first place.
“I’ll keep an ear out for her.” She smiles. “Bathroom is third door on the right.”
“Thank you,” I say as I leave the kitchen.
Quickly gathering my clothes and shower bag, I sneak down the hallway in search of the shower. On my way, I pass a door that’s slightly ajar. What I see makes me trip over my own feet and drop my clothes. Cole is in there. He’s lying shirtless on one of the twin beds. His head is propped against the headboard while he glares straight ahead at the TV I can barely hear in the background. I run my gaze down his chest, taking in the light layer of blonde hair that peaks out of his unbuttoned jeans.
Good God, he’s flawless. All smooth, tanned skin that covers muscles that are proportionate to his ridiculous height. Yet, the physical perfection is nothing compared to the honourable man who inhabits the body I’m ogling. He is simply a good man—inside and out.
Needing a distraction, I check out his room. One side is all Cole—Harleys with half naked chicks and skull drawings—while the other side is covered in posters of the Knight Rider. Thankfully, the other bed in the room is empty and there are no witnesses to my snooping. I remember something about his little brother being away for the week for school camp and I thank my lucky stars for the reprieve.
Observing Cole for a little longer, my heart shatters in my chest as I watch him open a beer and drain it straight down with a look of absolute loneliness on his face. I know that feeling too well. I’ve spent too many nights, alone in my bed, wondering if I would be able to improve my life enough for me to ever share it with someone else. The focus I had on getting Kerry away from our uncle had been a driving distraction, yet not quite enough to fill the void of knowing that we were essentially alone in the world.
I wonder why Cole seems so lonely. He has a terrific family, great friends, and a motorcycle gang at his back. If I had his life, I’d be over the moon.
Cole downs another beer, then throws both bottles into the trash can. They smash. The sound startles me, and I become embarrassed that I’m essentially spying on him. Stooping to pick up my clothes from the floor, I hurry along to the third door, closing it behind me, and twisting the lock into place.
As I’m undressing, it hits me. What if Cole was lying to me when he said we aren’t suited? What if he’s in his room regretting what he said—like I’m cursing myself for not correcting Bonnie? I know what I felt whenever he kissed me over the past month. I know that it was real for me and it had never crossed my mind that Cole was anything but truthful in his feelings for me. That was until he shot me down tonight.
That thought makes me pause.
Maybe, just maybe, the ball is in my court and it’s my turn to look after him?
TWENTY-FIVE
Colin
The shower turns on and I just know that it’s Colleen in there. The devil is doing a twostep all over the plans I’d made for my life tonight. I’ve lost my girl and my Club within the same hour. Why wouldn’t he add insult to injury and rub salt into my wound with the knowledge that she’s only one room away from me, naked as the day she was born.
I pull my pillow from beneath me and jam it over my head. After letting out a scream of pure frustration that comes from the very bottom of my soul, I throw it against the wall. The sound of the water falling is like nails down a chalkboard—irritating and taunting, all at once. I want to walk into the bathroom, push her against the shower tiles, and punish her for playing stupid games and ruining what we had.
But, my pride won’t let me.
I got my digs in tonight. I ended it in the kitchen on my terms. That’s the sole salvation my pride is going to receive.
Pushing up onto my knees, I turn the volume knob on the TV until it drowns out the shower. The TV show I try to concentrate on when I lay back down is no match for my imagination. Rather than the car chase on the screen in front of me, I see soap suds running down Colleen’s bare chest and over her stomach. Her hands roam her body, washing the crevices that I’d love to run my tongue along. My dick twitches in my jeans, and I’m just about to lay my hand on him when my bedroom door is quietly pushed open and the object of my fantasy walks in draped only in a towel.
“Cole,” Colleen manages to give my name three syllables with her lazy drawl. “I want to show you that Bonnie was wrong. What started as an idea to save our friendship became so much more. I knew from the first night, when you punched Paddy for calling me fat, that there was something special about you.”
I pinch the inside of my arm to wake myself up. Then, I close my eyes, count to three, and reopen them. Nope, she’s still here—in my room. With nothing but a wet towel between my hungry eyes and her naked body. This must be a dream.
“Ah, Colleen,” I lick my dry lips. This is so out of character for her that I’m worried she’s injured. “Did you hit your head tonight?”
The pink blush that regularly covers her skin starts to invade her complexion. I’d always wondered where it started, and tonight I get my answer. The centre of her chest turns red first, then it floods the tops of her breasts. The flush rises up her neck until it makes itself at home on her cheeks. Proof positive that my girl feels everything from her heart—embarrassment and all.
“No,” she says. Uncertainty fills her expression and I realise that I’ve made a wrong move. Colleen backs toward the door. “I thought. Oh, never mind what I thought.”
She turns to pull the door open. I spring from the bed and push it shut. Flipping the lock into position, I press Colleen against the door and kiss the living daylights
out of her.
My tongue explores the inner recesses of her mouth. She meets me, thrust for thrust, bite for bite. Her tiny hands clutch at my shoulders. I wriggle a hand between us and pull the towel away from her body. The request to stop doesn’t come as I expected.
Taking that as a positive sign, I remove my lips from hers and drop to my knees. Even in this position, I’m still taller than her by half a head. Lowering my mouth, I kiss her quickly, then run my tongue down the side of her neck. I stop to nibble on her collarbone, enjoying the soft skin that yields easily to my teeth. A little whimper leaves her when I drop my head even further and suck one of her nipples into my mouth. Circling my tongue around the hard nub, it’s my turn to groan when she pulls hard at my hair. The contradiction between the pleasure and pain is enough to push me over the edge.
Standing, I step out of my jeans, kicking them out of the way, before I push my hips between her thighs. I plant one arm under her ass and lift her in the air. Colleen squeals in fright. I silence her with my mouth.
“Don’t wanna do anything you don’t want.” I pant as I lay her down on my bed. My cock is eager, but I can’t push her into something she’ll regret.
Colleen places her hands on the back of my head and pulls me down until my forehead is resting against hers. “I want you. All of you. Forever if you’ll have me. If you can forgive me for what I did?”
I knew back in the kitchen that she was too good for me. This just proves it. My original qualms return with vengeance and my conscience pricks at my soul—demanding that I let her go before she gets hurt in the crossfire between my bad temper and my uncontrollable need to protect.
“I killed a man tonight. Deliberately. It wasn’t done in the heat of the moment. I toyed with him, fucked with his head, and then shot him in cold blood.”
Conan (Black Shamrocks MC: First Generation Book 1) Page 12