“Good night.”
“Night.” His voice was ragged, rough.
And, instead of standing down, it made her nerves start to hum.
Eyes wide-open, she stared at the shadowy ceiling, waiting to hear the slow, deep breathing that meant he’d fallen asleep. Then she could sleep. There was no way to tell how long this went on, and although there was no movement from his side of the bed, she was almost certain he was still awake.
Dawn couldn’t speak for him, but she was tense as a bowstring and ready to snap. “Jon, I—”
He threw back the covers. “This isn’t going to work.”
She rolled over to face him. “What’s wrong?”
“I want you.” There was no mistaking the need in his voice this time. It was honest and raw. “I can’t help it. I can’t make it stop. If I touch you—” He swore under his breath. “I’m going in the other room.”
This time he didn’t say anything about sleeping. And there was no mistaking the way her heart soared in response to his declaration. He wanted her.
Before he could get out of bed she moved closer and reached for him. It was automatic, instinctive. Her hand touched his arm, the warm skin. And this time she said the word. “Stay.”
He covered her hand with his own. And there was intensity bordering on desperation in his voice when he asked, “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
He turned toward her and settled his mouth on hers. The kiss was frantic, reckless, dangerous and intoxicating. He reached for the hem of her scrub top and pulled it over her head, then tossed it into the darkness. Then he unhooked her bra and sent it wherever her top had gone. They were skin to skin from the waist up and it felt like heaven after doing an eternity of penance in purgatory. Her only regret was that he was in shadow and she couldn’t see the muscular contours of his chest as the dusting of hair teased the tips of her breasts.
The sound of their uneven breathing filled the room as he slid off her pants and then his own. They were naked and the tension coiled inside her strained, clawed for release.
“Jon, please—”
“I know.” He let her go and rolled away.
“What? I don’t—”
“Condom,” he rasped.
Oh, God! She was so far gone she hadn’t even considered that. Beside the bed a drawer opened and he fumbled around before making a triumphant sound.
He tore open the packet and put it on, then pulled her back into his arms and settled her beneath him. With his knee he nudged her legs apart and slowly entered her. She could feel all of his concentration focused on her and holding back. But she wanted more and she wanted it now. Tilting her hips up, she let him know this was a stat request.
With exquisite restraint he continued to move slowly and deliberately, nudging her toward what she wanted. And suddenly her body tensed as a burst of pleasure roared through her. Tremors rocked her and Jon held her close until they stopped, keeping her from shattering.
Then he rested his forearms on either side of her, taking his weight on them before thrusting deeply. Once. Twice. The third time he cried out and buried his face in her neck until his breathing slowed and returned to normal.
He kissed her softly on the lips, then said, “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”
Dawn felt the mattress dip as he left the bed. Her muscles were like Jell-O and there was a better than even chance she couldn’t move even if she wanted to. Vaguely she was aware that the bathroom light went on. She must have dozed off, because the next thing she knew he slipped back in beside her then tugged the sheet over their naked bodies.
He pulled her against him and she sighed with contentment. Before she fell asleep, she thought about how nice it was not being alone.
Chapter Twelve
When he felt his fingers being licked, Jon opened one eye and saw Rerun standing beside him prancing expectantly. Then something moved in the bed beside him and a smooth, decidedly female leg brushed his. Everything that happened came back in a rush. He looked at Dawn and smiled at the way her blond hair spilled over the pillow like gold silk.
Thank God it wasn’t another dream.
Easing out of bed he quickly let the dog out, then returned. She was still asleep, either from complete exhaustion or because she was a very deep sleeper. He slid in beside her again and she rolled over, rubbing her leg against his. The slight touch sent heat blasting through him and blood heading to points south.
He wanted her again, if possible even more than he had last night. And last night he’d really wanted her bad.
According to the clock on his side of the bed, they needed to get up soon if he was going to drop her at her car with enough time to go home and get ready for work. But he could give her a few more minutes.
Rerun came back and whined, this time for food. And that’s when Dawn opened her eyes. She blinked once and he knew exactly when she remembered where she was and what they’d done. Her expression looked a little like buyer’s remorse.
Jon wasn’t sorry and would give almost anything for a repeat. This time with long, slow kisses that would start at the top of her head and end at the tips of her toes.
But the look in her eyes was telling him she had second thoughts about the first time which made another go-round out of the question.
“Good morning.” He said it as if he wasn’t sure if it was a statement or a question.
“I have to go. My car—”
“We’ve got time.” He realized how that sounded and that it made things more awkward. Not what he’d meant to do. “I mean there’s time for you to get to work.”
“No. You don’t understand. I just really have to go home. Now.”
“Okay. I can do that.”
She looked at him expectantly. “Well?”
“What?”
“You have to get up first,” she said firmly.
The way she was holding the sheet to her breasts should have been a clue. But apparently he was really out of practice in reading a woman’s body language. And he wished he could say he’d already seen every square inch of her but he hadn’t because the room was dark when they’d ripped off each other’s clothes. But his hands on her soft curves painted a really vivid picture in his head.
“I’ll take a quick shower.” A cold one since he wasn’t dumb enough to invite her to join him. He threw back the sheet and tried to think of something to lighten the mood. “Don’t peek.”
“If I got up first would you peek?”
“I have to be honest. Of course.”
He was almost sure she stifled a laugh as he got up and walked to the bathroom. Just before closing the door he looked at Dawn. She was still clutching the sheet and her eyes were tightly shut. She was so cute and the power of the feelings crashing through him threatened to pull him under. That was bad. He closed the door and stepped in the shower, doing his best to wash away what he’d felt without much success.
In ten minutes he was ready. Dawn was in the living room, pacing nervously. Her purse was slung over her shoulder and yesterday’s scrubs were a little wrinkled, having spent the night in a pile on the floor. And she looked guilty, like a teenager caught sneaking out.
He was pretty sure she didn’t want coffee. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Let’s roll.” He opened the door and she preceded him outside.
Just up a slight rise he saw his brother come out of the barn. Will waved and Jon acknowledged it. Dawn groaned and looked as if she’d just seen red flashing lights in her rearview mirror.
“Don’t worry about Will,” he said, but she didn’t answer.
Jon opened the passenger door of his truck and, when she pulled herself into the cab, he resisted the urge to touch her. He wasn’t sure she wouldn’t shat
ter if he did. He just got in and headed for Rust Creek Falls.
Dawn didn’t seem inclined to break the silence so he did.
“We need to talk about what happened.”
“You’re right.” She sighed as if a great weight lifted from her shoulders. “I wanted to talk, but didn’t know how to start.”
“Why don’t you tell me how you feel.” A guy couldn’t go wrong bringing that up, right? He couldn’t study her face and gauge her reaction because he had to watch the road.
“I’m not sure how I feel. We agreed that we’d just be friends. That anything else could get complicated and affect our work relationship. Potentially creating a hostile environment at the clinic.”
He didn’t need a recap but figured she needed to say it. “We did.”
“But last night we crossed the line.”
“Did we?” He’d just admitted as much but wasn’t sure what to say.
“Look, I know men are from Mars, women are from Venus. We process the same situation differently. I get that. But all the reasons we agreed not to get personal haven’t changed.”
“You’re right.” He wanted to keep her talking and his responses were designed to do that.
“Last night was really wonderful. I want you to know that. Dinner, relaxation and...everything else.”
“I had a good time, too.” Jon glanced over. She was twisting her fingers together, obviously nervous.
“The thing is—I want you to know that I know it didn’t mean anything.”
The hell it didn’t.
But there was a note in her voice that he couldn’t identify. Expectation? Was she looking for a specific response from him? He wasn’t sure. This was delicate and he didn’t want to say the wrong thing.
“Go on,” was the best neutral response he could come up with.
“We can chalk it up to a little wine. The release of tension after a long, stressful day.”
“I’m sure that’s true.”
It was certainly part of the reason it happened. But to be honest, they’d been headed in that direction almost from the moment they met. And especially after their kiss at Emmet’s. She’d said then she wouldn’t read anything into it. But he had news for her. Things had changed now. Sleeping together was something and he wasn’t sure whether or not it was bad.
His almost-engagement had fallen through partly because he’d picked a woman who was too selfish to understand a doctor’s life. But he had to take part of the blame. He tended to bury himself in work and hadn’t seen the signs of trouble. That work had included losing a kid he’d grown close to and he hadn’t seen that coming, either. It was something he didn’t think his ex could understand and hadn’t even tried to share with her. All of that baggage made him lousy relationship material.
In spite of that, the breakup had been hard. He’d wanted someone to grow old with, a marriage like his parents had. He’d finally let someone in and liked it. He’d been lonely when she left, but now he was used to being alone, and rocking the relationship boat again didn’t seem the smartest move. It was probably better that Dawn believed sleeping together was just a casual hookup.
She didn’t say anything else for the rest of the drive and Jon was deep into his own thoughts. So it was almost as if he was on automatic pilot when he turned left onto Commercial Street then left again on South Lodgepole Lane and into the clinic parking lot. He stopped the truck beside Dawn’s small compact car.
After turning off the engine he looked at her. “Should I say I’m sorry?”
Big sunglasses hid the expression in her eyes. “Are you?”
Yes and no, he thought. Wasn’t that the classic definition of conflict?
When he didn’t answer right away her mouth pulled tight. “You know, it would probably be best if we put last night in the end-of-a-crazy-day file. We’ll just go back to the way things were.”
Without waiting for a response she got out of the truck and into her car. She drove away, never once looking at him.
Jon sat there. This was where he really felt the difference between book smart and street smart.
In the practice of medicine he had most of the answers. With women, not so much. But he’d learned to trust his gut. And when Dawn stated with absolute certainty that they could go back to the way things were, his gut had an answer.
When pigs fly.
* * *
After a long, tense day Dawn was tired and crabby. Her disposition didn’t improve when she drove home and saw Hank’s truck parked in front of the house. Wasn’t that just the perfect end to a lousy day? Maybe it was time to make alternate living arrangements. The man who’d fathered her might not be the very last person she wanted to see right now, but he was darn close to the top of the list.
When she went inside, she heard voices coming from the kitchen.
“I’m home,” she called out.
Talking stopped but there were no welcoming words from her mother as usual. That was not a good sign. She went into the kitchen and found her mother and Hank standing in front of the sink where, if she didn’t miss her guess, he’d just installed a new faucet. The packaging and tools were spread out on the counter and the old, sad one was beside the sink.
“Hi.” Her mom had been gone when she got home to shower and change this morning. This wasn’t a good time to remember that note she’d planned to leave and didn’t. Too many things on her mind and all of them were about Jon.
“Where have you been, Dawn Debra?” Glory glared at her.
It was a look Dawn hadn’t seen for a very long time. And combined with her middle name, it meant she was in deep doo-doo.
She had an idea what this was about but preferred not to discuss it in front of her mother’s ex-husband. She decided to answer exactly what she’d been asked.
“I’ve been at work.”
“You know I don’t mean today. Where were you last night?”
“There were some very sick babies at the clinic yesterday.” Dawn knew that wasn’t what her mother meant but plowed ahead with a diversionary response. Fingers crossed it would work. “The doctor kept them for observation. I was there late.” That was absolutely true.
Glory put her hands on her hips, and the expression on her face said she was fully prepared to play this game. “Did you sleep at the clinic?”
If only, Dawn thought. She wouldn’t have given in to the temptation to sleep with Jon. It was the best night of her life and the worst because of the talk they’d had afterward. But to answer her mother’s question... “No.”
“So where did you sleep? Because I know for a fact that it wasn’t here in your own bed—”
“Now, Glory—” Hank’s voice was deep and designed to soothe. The rose between two thorns. She recalled the phrase that Jon had used. In her father’s case, it was ironic, since he’d always been the one to draw blood.
“No, I want to know where she was,” her mother persisted.
“I’m not a teenager, Mom. I don’t need your permission to stay out after curfew.”
“That’s true. You don’t. But I didn’t raise you to be disrespectful and discourteous. A text to let me know you were okay would have been nice.” She paused before adding, “I had to call the clinic today to make sure you were all right.”
Dawn winced. There was no defense for that and guilt squeezed her hard. It had crossed her mind to call but, if she was being honest, not picking up the phone was more than just the fact that it was late. There would have been a reality check from Glory, and Dawn hadn’t wanted to hear it. She didn’t want to talk about it now, either. Her gaze slid to Hank and she resented the fact that he was here at this awkward moment and not when she’d been a little girl who desperately needed her father.
She looked at the two of them standing side by side, presenting what parents
liked to call a united front. “I had dinner with Dr. Clifton.”
“All night?” her mother snapped.
“You know, Mom, I don’t really have the reserves to get into this with you right now. I’m pretty tired and—”
“That’s what happens when you’re up all night doing God knows what. Funny how there just wasn’t time to let your mother know you weren’t lying in a ditch somewhere or trapped in the trunk of a serial killer’s car trying to break the taillights and signal for help.”
“Glory—” Hank put an arm across her shoulders, obviously sensing she was going over the edge. “You were worried and now you’re venting to Dawn.”
Dawn hated to be grateful to the man, but right this minute she was. “I’m sorry, Mom. I should have called. The thing is, if I didn’t live under your roof, you wouldn’t expect me home. Hence there would be no reason to be concerned about me. Do you want me to get my own place?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. And for your information, you never stop worrying about your children, whether they live with you or not. I just wanted to know you were safe—” Glory started to cry.
Dawn felt like the lowest, slimiest life-form on the planet. She took a step forward to comfort her mother, but Hank was there.
He put his big arms around Glory and pulled her against his chest. “There, there. Don’t cry, honey.”
“C-can’t help it—”
She felt as useless as a bump on a pickle. She should be the one patting her mother’s back but there was Hank doing it. More often than not in the past he’d been the one making Glory cry but that dubious honor went to Dawn this time.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” she said again. “If I were you, I’d take away my cell phone and ground me for a month.”
As intended, Glory laughed. It was half sob, half snort, but Dawn would take what she could get. “I’m the world’s worst daughter.”
“No, you’re not.” Her mother gave Hank a grateful look, then sighed and stepped away. “Thoughtless, maybe. But your father’s right. All the worry built up and I took it out on you. Not my finest hour, either.”
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