She’s in my arms and for the first time in a long time, I feel right inside. My Catey.
The feeling is short-lived, though. I have her all to myself for a moment and then I’m swarmed again. I know I said something along the lines of, “Give me one minute,” while I turned to the women who were eager for a meet and greet. After I take a few pictures and ward off their advances, I’m turning to look for Catey when the next group of people begins congratulating me on my success and shooting the shit for a bit.
I’m not complaining about the compliments and attention. I know how lucky I am to have this kind of success on such a grand scale. But for once, tonight, I want everyone to leave me alone. I want to take Catey somewhere we can be alone and catch up on lost time. I want to apologize for losing touch when things in my life became so big. I want to reconnect. Mostly, I want to be close again.
For a moment between conversations I catch a glimpse of her sitting at a table with Bree and another man that I don’t know. She looks so beautiful. Watching her interact with this guy, she looks so confident. Not like the girl I remember from high school. She’s a strong, successful woman and what I want more than anything is to get to know the woman she is now.
I’m not sure how much time has passed when I excuse myself to get another drink. There are a lot of familiar faces around, but not the one I’m dying to see. The one I came here to see. The table where she was sitting is full of different faces now.
I spend more time walking around and mingling with people as I look for Catey. But it’s no use, she’s not here. The five minutes we had together tonight weren’t enough. Not after a lifetime of being part of each other’s lives. Now that things are falling apart around me, I am realizing the things that are really important in my life.
I don’t know what I need exactly to help me get back on my feet and make me feel like myself again. But I know that Catey has always felt like home to me and that’s a feeling I’m desperate for right now.
Chapter Three
Cate
August 1992
The sun is at its hottest point in the midday sky and it is relentless. I could head into the backyard and find some shade under the hickory trees, but I can’t use my sidewalk chalk back there. And I’m working on one heck of a picture.
My mom has been working with me on how to write my name. She’s also teaching me our new address and phone number. I have it written out in large, orange, uppercase letters that go from one side of the driveway to the other: 1222 East Fetchet Parkway. I may have missed a few letters during my attempt to spell it, but I think I have most of them.
I’m looking up at our new house and doing my best to draw out all of the details with all of my different colors of chalk. I drew a nice large square and then colored it in a light yellow. Next I have to draw a rectangle for the front door and two smaller squares for the windows in the front. I use my white chalk for that.
Finally I add a few green trees on each side of the house. I already asked mom if we could build a tree house in one of those big trees in the backyard.
“Maybe tomorrow,” she said. Sounds like a good plan to me.
I’m working on adding all of the colors to my rainbow when mom comes outside. I’m finishing making the orange arch nice and thick when she walks over to admire my work.
“Oh, you drew the new house! What a great idea, honey.” She crouches down next to me so she can really get a good look. “I brought some sunscreen out. Lets put some more on you before you burn.”
I watch as she squeezes the white cream onto her hands and then rubs it up and down my arms. First my left, then my right. Next my face. A white dot on each cheek, on my nose, forehead and chin.
“School starts soon. Are you getting excited to meet some new friends?” she asks.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Well, you know what?”
“What?”
“I happened to meet our neighbors yesterday and they have a son that will be starting kindergarten with you at the end of the month. I thought maybe we could stop over so you could meet him. Maybe you could ask him over to play with you?”
As soon as I agree to meet the neighbor, mom is walking me through the grass and we are standing on their front porch. Their house looks the same as ours, only white.
A man opens the door and my mom talks to him for a little while. She introduces me as I half hide behind her legs. Before long the man is calling into the house and a little boy appears at the door. He has his hands in his pockets, maybe a little shy, like me. He waves to me and I wave back.
“Brogan, this is Greta and her daughter, Cate. They just moved in next door. Why don’t you and Cate go play in the backyard together?”
“Okay,” Brogan says as he shrugs his shoulders. “C’mon, I’ll show you my secret fort.”
I look up at my mom for a second. She smiles back at me and nods her head. In the time it takes for me to think about playing, Brogan walks back and takes my hand.
“It’s a really cool fort, you have to see it. I’ll teach you the secret password and everything,” he says as he leads me into the backyard. I go with him and he walks me through the backyard into the lots behind our houses. This is a fairly new neighborhood so there is still a large area that has yet to be developed.
He walks until we reach a willow tree. The boughs of the tree hang low so we have to crouch down to crawl under them. Once we do, I see there are large rocks by the tree that work nicely for a place to sit. It looks like he has been busy digging some of the dirt out, too.
“Pretty cool, huh?” he says.
“Yeah, it’s cool all right,” I say.
“So there’s this spot behind the tree,” he walks back to show me the place, “right here under this rock. It’s where I keep all of the treasures I find out here.”
I look under the rock to see what kinds of things he’s referring to. He has some pretty cool-looking rocks, nuts, and other odds and ends stored in his secret place.
“It’s a fun tree house. I asked my mom if we could have a tree house, too. You can play in it with me when we get it,” I say.
“Yeah, that will be so much fun.”
“I can bring some of my dolls out and we could put them back here,” I use my hands to motion to one area of the tree house, “and it will look almost like their own little room.”
“Uh, okay. You can bring your dolls out if you want.”
“Great!” I take off running back toward my house so we don’t waste any more time. Once I have a few of my dolls and their blankets, I run back to the fort. Brogan has been busy. He has pulled some leaves over and has created some sort of bed.
“For your dolls,” he says. “This is where you can put them to sleep.”
I smile and hand him one of the dolls.
“Here, she needs to be fed.” I hand him the baby bottle and he holds the doll in his arms and sits down to feed her.
We’ve been hard at work in the fort when I hear my mom call to me hours later that it’s dinner time. I give Brogan a hug and run home, yelling over my shoulder that I’ll see him tomorrow.
***
A few weeks later it’s the first day of school. My mom takes my picture on the front porch with my brand-new, pink ruffle-and-twirl skirt, rainbow-striped leggings, sparkly butterfly shirt and brand new pair of Mary Janes. My new backpack has all of the Carebears on it with a matching lunch box that hooks to the outside. My tummy feels funny while we drive to school. The summer ended up being so much more fun than I thought it would be and I’m sad that it’s coming to an end.
Silver Oak Elementary looks like any other school when we pull up in the parking lot. Mom parks the car so she can walk me inside and help me find my classroom. I get a peek at the playground as we walk inside and I spot a nice swing set that I’ll run straight to when it’s recess.
I follow my mom as she leads me down the crowded hallway, all the way to the very last classroom on the end.
“There ar
e a couple kindergarten classrooms, Cate, but you’ll be in this one right here.” She leads me right in the door so I can get a good look.
A minute later, a woman walks over and introduces herself. She has short brown hair, kind eyes and pretty purple glasses. I like her immediately.
“Hi, I’m Mrs. Heart,” she says as she reaches out to shake my mom’s hand. “And you must be Cate! It’s so nice to meet you. Let me show you where your cubby will be. This is where you’ll keep your backpack and lunch box. And your coat when it gets cold.” Mrs. Heart walks us outside the classroom to the hallway where small cubbies are lined up.
“See if you can find your name, honey,” mom says.
I start at the first cubby and walk down the row until I find my name. I’m taking off my backpack to hang it up when I happen to notice the name on the cubby next to mine. Brogan. We spent a lot of time writing our names in our tree fort this summer. I can spell his name just as well as I can spell mine.
Once my things are hanging in my cubby, I walk back to mom and see Brogan walking down the hallway. He has his hands in his pockets again and he’s looking around, probably trying to figure out which room is his.
I run right up to him and give him a hug. “Your cubby is right next to mine,” I say. I pull him along and bring him right to his spot.
“Nice,” he says. I help him unpack his backpack and when we’re both set I take his hand and we walk to the classroom together. My mom gives me a hug and a kiss and then she leans in and gives Brogan a hug, too.
“Have a great first day you two!” she says.
“We will!” we say.
Chapter Four
Cate
June 2015
The last rays of sunlight stream through the window and annoy me as they shine in my eyes. The coffee pot that I’m washing has never seen so much attention. I’m trying to scrub all of the stains off of the glass and it’s like they’re mocking me with how they don’t even fade with every wipe of the sponge. I don’t mind closing the coffee shop at the end of the day. It’s quiet. I can zone out and fixate on anything I want without someone trying to pull me from my thoughts.
Bree and I have owned our coffee shop, A Hearty Brew, for about two-and-a-half years. In the beginning it was the two of us taking care of all of the various aspects of owning and running our own business. That quickly had to change when Bree found out she was expecting her first baby. Now we have help during the busiest times of our day.
At this time of the day, though, business in nonexistent. Every now and again I ask someone else to cover closing at night, if I have plans or even, God forbid, a date. But my social life lately has been sluggish. It’s not that there isn’t anyone in town for me to date, there is. Some really handsome, eligible bachelors, in fact. But I have fallen into a slump.
I came home from the reunion with my hopes dashed and my spirits in the crapper, which really isn’t like me. I’m a fun, happy, outgoing woman—most of the time. The problem is that I secretly held onto hope that one day I’d reconnect with the man who has had my heart since the time he agreed to play dolls with me in our secret tree house. And our reunion didn’t turn out the way I had hoped.
So I gave myself some time to lick my wounds before eventually getting back out there to see what else the world has to offer. The last few weeks have consisted of a lot of trips to the store for specialty pints of ice cream, as well as splurges on dinner, like pizza from the real Italian place off of Monroe Street and the new little Thai place in the heart of downtown. I find treating myself to these things helps improve my mood when I know I’m going home by myself each night after work.
I hear the little bell on the door ring and silently curse knowing I must have forgotten to lock the door when I flipped the sign to say “closed.” I dry off my hands as I turn around to tell the customer that we are closed for the night. The words get stuck in my throat as I realize that it’s Brogan standing in my coffee shop.
He smiles at me and looks around. He’s even more handsome than he was a few weeks ago. It must be the ripped jeans and fitted, long-sleeve, blue shirt that accentuates his eyes. I can’t get over the impressiveness of his body. It’s a piece of art after all of his years playing football.
“I love it. It’s so nice, fits you well,” he says as he inspects our little spot. He starts to walk toward the counter and I notice a slight limp in his left leg. I remember hearing a few years back that he had a knee injury that sidelined him for the season.
“I have to say, you’re the last person I expected to walk through the door tonight.” Not that I mind; my heart rocketed to life when I realized who it was. I’m not proud of it, but the heart wants what it wants.
“I believe it. I looked you up, I hope that’s okay. I didn’t have a chance to get any of your information when I saw you at the reunion.”
“It’s definitely a nice surprise. Can I get you something to drink?”
“Absolutely.”
I fix us both one of our iced specialty drinks. There have been a few new recipes I added to the menu this month and there’s one in particular that is my new favorite. I walk it over to the booth where Brogan has already sat down and slide onto the bench opposite him.
“Wow, this is really good,” he says as he licks the whipped cream off of his lip.
“Thanks! It’s a new recipe. It’s a vanilla iced-coffee frappe. It has homemade vanilla whipped cream.” I take a sip myself and it tastes like a little bit of heaven. “You probably don’t have as much of a sweet tooth anymore, like when we were kids, but everyone needs to indulge every once in a while.”
“I absolutely and totally do still have a sweet tooth. It’s frowned upon by the trainers, of course, but they don’t need to know everything that I put into my body.”
“Well it certainly doesn’t look like you stray very often,” I say.
He laughs mid-drink. “It’s part of the job. Working out, practicing, all day, every day. You’d probably look the same way if you followed the same routine.”
“Oh man, I sure hope not! I would definitely scare away any possible suitors.”
“Umm, lets get to work on your workout routine then.”
His smile takes on a mischievous air, but I’m not sure if I’m interpreting what he said correctly. I study him for a heartbeat too long and the moment has passed.
“So I really wanted to apologize for all of the craziness at the reunion. I wanted to see you and catch up, but things didn’t turn out the way I had hoped.”
“You have a lot of fans.”
“Yes, that’s true. But I was so concerned about not blowing anyone off or offending anyone from high school that I managed to do it to you.”
This is the last thing I expected him to say. I didn’t realize that he cared anymore so having him show up in town, a good three-hour drive for him, is messing with me. I keep going back and forth from holding onto hope that we’ll find each other again to convincing myself that I need to move on and stop pining after this man.
“It’s sweet of you to come all this way to apologize. You’ve always been so thoughtful. I’m glad to see running around with all of those macho guys hasn’t completely squashed your sensitivity.”
“No, there’s hope for me yet.”
“Are you here for the day?”
“Well…I have some time, actually. I don’t have anywhere that I need to run back to.”
“Are you staying in town? Because my mom owns the inn right next door.”
“Yeah, I actually stopped there first. I was going to check in and then stop over and see you. Turns out your mom is completely booked. Apparently there’s some sort of festival in town?”
“Yes, there is. It’s a craft fair and then there are food vendors that set up booths so people can sample all of the different restaurants in the area. Of course there are beer tents as well. I’ve heard they’re adding some more events for kids this year, too.”
“It sounds like fun. Would you want t
o show me around?”
“Ah, sure. You’re into craft fairs?”
“Not really, but I like food and beer.”
“Fair enough,” I say, laughing. I’m conflicted with my options. The polite friend inside wants to invite him to stay with me, but it has been years since we’ve seen each other and I don’t know how comfortable I feel having him sleep on my couch.
But then there’s the other part of me that feels excitement at the thought of him being here. I would sure get a lot of the one-on-one time that I’ve been craving and we’d be able to catch up on what has been going on in our lives over the last six years.
Ultimately, I want to feel close to him again. As close as we used to be growing up. And in order for that to happen, I’m going to have to move out of my comfort zone and take a chance.
“Do you have any buddies in town?”
“Besides you? No.”
“Well, you can crash on my couch for the weekend if you want and then we can go to the festival tomorrow.”
“Thanks. I’d love to see your place. Get a sense of what your life is like these days.”
“It isn’t anything very exciting, but you’re welcome to check it out. It’ll be like the old days. Except you don’t have to sneak in my window and I won’t make you sleep on the floor.”
“I appreciate it. I don’t want to be an inconvenience, so floor, couch, whatever works for me.”
“It’s not an inconvenience at all. It will be nice to catch up. I’ve missed you, Brogan.” I didn’t expect to be so candid, but it came out and I’m not going to take it back. He is the one person I miss not having in my life and I’m thrilled to have a chance to have him to myself for a while.
“I’ve missed you, too. Life has been crazy and hectic and wild, but I’ve always found myself thinking about you and wondering what you’re up to.”
A Devoted Heart (The Heart's Temptation Series Book 2) Page 2