by Wendy Knight
His phone buzzed just after eight. "Jace said you were here." Kim was annoyed, he could tell immediately.
"I am here. I'm at Sunshine's. I have been for hours."
"She's here at school."
Levi's eyebrows clashed in confusion. "How is she there? I've been here all night. No one's come or gone."
He could almost see Kim shrugging. "I don't know. She's here though. She's sitting in history right now."
Levi frowned. "How—?"
"I don't know. I'm staring right at her, though."
Where was she last night?
"Okay. I'm on my way there."
"You're coming to the school? I thought Principal Clarence banned you from the premises."
"He tried." Levi hung up and started the car, his mind racing. If she wasn't with Kim last night, and she hadn't been home… who had she been with?
He couldn't get to the school fast enough.
Her truck sat in one of the farthest spots, close to the road and unmistakably rusted. He parked next to it and walked around it, as if it could somehow reveal her secrets.
It didn't.
By the time he got up to the school, the halls were empty, everyone in class like good little boys and girls. He'd never been one of those. He'd always been the outcast. People tolerated him because of Harli. Without her, though, he didn't belong here.
"Levi! Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm really meeting you!"
He turned slowly just in time to be tackled by a girl he was pretty sure he'd never met. And then the rest of the class she'd emerged from swarmed out, and he was surrounded. They handed him folders and skin and phones to sign, they took pictures. He smiled, he flirted, he slipped into that rock star persona, but inside, his true self was watching helplessly.
Harli.
The bell rang, the rest of the school fled to the hallways, and he wasn't even close to her class. He was in the middle of two girls, getting kissed on the cheek and having his picture taken, when he glimpsed her on the stairs above him.
She was pale. Much more pale than he remembered, and her long dark waves were pulled into a low, messy bun. Her dark eyes were like pools in her face, her lips pursed in a pained pout.
Shit.
And then she turned and fled up the stairs. Harli disappeared as quickly as she'd appeared, and Levi's stomach dropped.
"S'cuse me. Gotta go, guys. It was nice meeting you." He tried to fight his way through, but there was always another camera phone. Always another pen, another smile. Always something. Even the principal, who hated Levi to his very core, couldn't get the crowd to disperse. Luckily, between his efforts and Levi's desperate attempts to escape — with the help of several teachers, Levi finally made his way to the stairs and sprinted up them two at a time.
She was at her locker, standing stiffly, leaning her head against the shelf. They'd shared the locker when he'd been there last year. The whiteboard where he'd left her love notes between every class was still there.
But now, it was blank.
"Harli."
She didn't raise her head. "Go away, Levi."
"Talk to me. I flew all the way here from Dallas. I sat outside your house for hours. Please? Talk to me?" He reached out, slid his hands up her arms to her shoulders.
She shrieked, jerking away from him, nearly throwing him into the lockers.
"What the hell, Harli? What'd I do this time?"
She clenched her jaw, fighting tears, tears he knew for a fact that she wouldn't cry. She was strong, his angel. Too strong. "Same thing you always do, Levi," she hissed.
"What? Took pictures with some girls I don't even know? Forgot to call? I'm out on the road, Harli. This is my life now." Instantly defensive. He didn't mean to be. They'd had this fight so often, the words practically spoke themselves. "You know none of it means anything," he said, softening his tone, reaching for her again.
She jerked away. "Don't."
Frowning, he tipped his head to the side. "What's going on, Harli? Where were you last night?"
She raised her head and glared. "Are you serious with this, Levi? You're questioning me on where I was last night? Have you even spent a night alone since you left? How many girls have you taken to your hotel room, Levi? The whole damn world knows what you're doing and you're an idiot if you think I don't know it."
His jaw dropped. "I just flew all the way home to see you. In the middle of the effing night."
"Good." She slammed her locker, wincing. "Good for you. You're boyfriend of the friggin' year."
"No. I'm not boyfriend of the friggin' year because you won't even agree that we're together. After four years. You won't claim me, but you sure as hell like to tell me what to do."
She sucked in a breath, and he realized that he'd gone too far, said the wrong things, but his mouth wouldn't shut up. "Say the word, Harli. Say we're together and I'll stay away from every other girl on the planet." He shrugged, like he didn't care, when actually his heart was in his throat and felt like it was burning its way out. Say the word. Say the word, Harli. Say you want me.
Please.
"You know I can't do that, Levi."
"No. I know you won't do that."
She shook her head, tiny, furious movements that freed most of her hair from its bun. "How in the hell did you turn this around on me? How do you do that every. Single. Time? You're an ass. You're with so many other girls you can't remember my name. And yet, this fight is my fault."
Finally, it hit him. He'd accidentally texted her, calling her the name of his makeup artist. "Harli, come on, I was texting you while I was getting ready for my show. Will you chill the hell out and be reasonable for once in your life?"
He'd expected blazing anger, but instead, pain flared behind her eyes and the tears she refused to let fall shimmered back at him. "I'm done, Levi. Go back to your groupies and stay away from me." She whirled around and stalked away.
How was it possible to break up with someone she refused to admit she was even with in the first place?
Panic and pain warred for control in his chest as he realized just how serious she was. They'd had this fight so many times, it was — it was just how things were. But usually, this was the point where she relented and said she was sorry, she knew it was hard for him when she wouldn't commit, and she was working on it. And he would say he was the sorry one, being away from her made him crazy, and that all the girls, the parties, the drinking — it was all an act. She would say she loved him, and he would tell her she was his Sunshine, his angel, his reason for breathing.
But she'd strayed from the script.
He chased her down, grabbed her arm when she wouldn't stop. "Harli, wait—"
She screamed, jerking her arm away from him as she nearly stumbled, like her knees gave way beneath her. Her face paled even more than it already was; her lips drained of all color. "Don't. Touch. Me."
He held his hands up, baffled. Did his touch really repulse her that much? But she was still talking.
"Don't do this, Levi. We both knew this was coming. Go—"
"Bull shit. I didn't know this was coming. I thought everything was fine!"
"And that's our problem, right there. Of course you think everything is fine. You're out there having the time of your life. And you should be. This is your dream. You're twenty years old, Levi, and you're a huge celebrity. You can't be stuck with a dumb little high school girl from a small town."
"I'm a celebrity because of that high school girl from a small town. Don't forget that, Harli. I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for you. So if you think I'm going to let you go without a fight, you're wrong, Sunshine. We've been together for three years. Are you really willing to just walk away from that?"
She opened her mouth to respond just as Principal Clarence came around the corner with two of the school cops in his wake. "Mr. Vasi, I think it's time for you to go." He was practically beaming.
"Harli, just talk to me. Please, I'm sorry—"
"It's time to go
, Mr. Vasi." Clarence crossed his arms over his chest and basked in his smugness.
"Harli, say the word. Tell me to quit and I'll walk away from all of it. I don't want this dream without you." He was talking too fast, his words tripping and tumbling all over each other. Her eyes widened, Clarence's eyes widened, and both the cops froze in their tracks. "Tell me to quit and I'll walk away from it all. I don't want this dream if you're not in it."
A single tear escaped, snaking its way down her cheek as she slowly, slowly, backed away. "No."
Chapter Three
"HARLI?"
Harli sniffled and buried her head under the covers. With any luck, Jace wouldn't think to check her room.
Which was a stupid thought, because he came straight up the stairs and flung the comforter off. "Whatcha doin, luv?"
"Sleeping."
He squatted down on his haunches so he was eye-level. "You don't nap. Headache?"
She shook her head. "No, no headache." Actually, yes. But it's hard to feel over the pain of roasted arms and chest and stomach and broken heart.
"So… you're in mourning then."
She squeezed her eyes shut tight. "You heard what happened with Levi?"
"Harls, it's all over the town. Everyone's heard." His voice was soft, like he was trying to lilt her into a false sense of security.
"What are you doing here? Why aren't you in class?" She tugged the comforter back over her so he wouldn't see the bandages.
"I was. Levi called in a panic, said Kim wouldn't let him near you. I felt it was in everyone's best interest if I stepped in."
She almost smiled. "Kim is a good friend."
"Depends on whose point of view you're looking from. Levi thinks she's a horrible friend."
"I hate it when you call me Harls."
"He would have walked away, you know." Jace nodded, agreeing with himself in typical Jace fashion. "He would have. For you."
She closed her eyes. "I don't want him to give things up for me."
"Well, you sort of forced him, didn't you? He had to give up you for you."
She shoved her hair away from her face and swung her feet out of bed, hugging the comforter around her. "I hate it when you're so logical."
He laughed, falling backward and landing on his butt. "There's the feisty girl I know and love. Go wash your face. You look like shit."
She twitched her lips to the side, frowning at him. "Thanks." He was still laughing as she grabbed her sweater and tugged it over her head, disappearing into her bathroom.
"How'd you get out of school?" he called through the door.
"I just left."
"You're not excused right now?" His voice was completely incredulous. Harli never missed school unless she had a migraine, which wasn't frequent now that she had awesome migraine meds. She'd been working her tail off for a scholarship since she was in seventh grade. And if she did have to miss school, it was never unexcused. Levi had always excused her. But that option was gone and Harli had needed to get out. So she'd left.
"Not exactly."
"You're supposed to be rebellious when you're dating the rocker boy, not when you leave his sorry ass for greener pastures."
Harli winced, glad he couldn't see her. "It's not like that." She gathered her courage and peered in the mirror. Jace was right, she looked awful. Her hair hung in snake-like tendrils around her face, her eyes looked like she'd been in a fight, and her nose was bright red. "Awesome."
She carefully ran her hands over the bandages, trying not to bend her arms. Luckily, her shirt had taken most of the attack, but she still had second and third degree burns on a lot of her upper body. When they'd told her they needed to call a responsible party, she'd panicked.
And run.
Usually, they called Levi. He was her legal guardian. That's all she needed, for him to know she'd been attacked again. He'd go after Selicia, and it wasn't Selicia's fault.
It was Harli's. Somehow, he just couldn't see that.
"He isn't the one not seeing something, Harli," Angela whispered.
Harli shook her head but hadn't a clue how to respond.
She washed her face with warm water, pressing the rag against her eyes for several long, heavenly minutes — until Jace banged on the door. "Did you die in there, Harls?"
She sighed and dropped the rag onto the edge of the tub. Grimacing, she tugged her sweater back on over her head. "Yes. I'm dead," she said as the door swung open. "Jace! What if I hadn't been dressed yet?"
Jace rolled his eyes. "I have five sisters, Harli. Ain't nobody got stuff I ain't already seen."
She pursed her lips to hide a snicker. "Don't you have a big test tomorrow?"
He shrugged. "I'm not entirely positive anyone even knows I'm in that class. I'm like a ghost. It's not like Levi, who could stand on stage and sing by himself and everyone would still go crazy."
Harli winced.
Jace reached up, smoothing her brow. "Sorry. That was stupid."
"Little bit. Get your stuff, Jace."
She could see the hurt on his face — he'd never been good at hiding emotions. He and Levi were alike that way. Which was probably why people loved them both so much. "You're kicking me out? I didn't mean—"
"I'm kicking you out because you have a test tomorrow, and no matter what you think, there are people out there who want to see you." She put on her sternest face. "It's for your own good."
He rolled his eyes, backing off. "I'll make you a deal. You audition for Julliard, and I'll go to my gig."
She needed Advil. And to not be having this conversation. "It's not going to happen. Is Levi still here? In the state?"
Jace nodded slowly, sinking onto her bed. "Probably still out there arguing with Kim."
Harli smiled. "Spunky girl." She wandered to the window, peering out across the front yard. Selicia, thankfully, was long gone. She usually took off as soon as she sobered up enough to realize she could be arrested.
But Levi was still there. She could see the rented little car. She could see him arguing with Kim through the gate, could see Kim with her arms crossed over her chest, could see Levi…
He looked devastated.
"Jace? I—I did the right thing, right?" she asked quietly. He came up behind her, rubbing his hands up and down her shoulders.
She screamed.
"Holy crap, Harli! What the hell?" he yelled, jumping away.
"You—you scared me." She thought she was going to throw up. Or pass out. Pain. So much pain.
He just stared at her.
"And on that note, time for you to go. Take him with you. We can watch the concert online together tomorrow."
"That's illegal, you know," he said over his shoulder while she pushed him out the door.
She smiled.
"Knock em dead, Jace."
"KIM, I SWEAR IT, I'm going to climb over this fence and strangle you." Levi paced back and forth like a caged lion.
"You try that. Let's see you get all hung up just in time for your concert. I can tape it for you. Your career will hit an all new level."
"Or I can just go home and find those pictures of you wearing the dirty diaper on your head. I'm sure Jace would love to see those."
Kim's eyes widened as her mouth opened and closed in outrage.
Levi crossed his arms and glared.
"My mom would never—"
"Your mom is a Shattered Assassin fan, Kim."
Her head hung in defeat. "I'm sorry, Levi. As much as I would hate for that to happen, I can't let you in. She needs a break."
Apparently they were done talking about her mother.
"Look, Kim, I screwed up. I know I did. It won't happen again—"
"Levi—" She stalked closer to the gate, and he wondered briefly if she was going to reach through and smack him. "How many times have you told her it isn't going to happen again?"
He ran a hand over his face and stared at the sky. "A thousand. I don't know. I am so stupid. But she needs me, Kim."
/> "I think she'll be okay."
"No, Kim. You don't understand. She needs me. And I can be here. I'll quit—"
"Do you not know her at all?" Kim yelled. "You quit, and she'll be plagued by that guilt right on top of the mom guilt. Are you really going to do that to her?"
"This wasn't my dream!" he yelled back. "My dream had her in it!"
The fury in Kim's eyes died abruptly. "Have you told her that?"
He closed his eyes. "I don't know. Probably. But not enough."
"You've got a concert in five hours, Levi. Time to go." Jace appeared at Kim's side, and for an instant Levi hated him — hated him because he could go in and Levi couldn't, because he still had Harli in his life and Levi didn't.
And now he knew how Jace had felt, all those years ago.
And maybe every day since.
"I don't care about our concert," he said stubbornly, reminding himself distinctly of a five year old kid.
Jace glared. "If I open the gate, are you gonna behave?" They'd been friends once. Close friends. Somewhere along the way, Levi had lost him, too.
"Levi, it's time to go."
They all froze as Harli came around the carriage house.
"Harli," Levi breathed, the sound of her name like silk against his lips. "Sunshine, please—"
Slowly, she reached up and pushed the button. The giant gate swung open. "We're done, Levi. You need to go." She glanced at Jace, who still hadn't moved, and jerked her head toward the entrance.
"Harli, I can't—" Levi started.
Jace slipped past him and Kim disappeared. Harli came out through the gate and raised her hand to his cheek. "You." A sad, broken smile was all she managed. "You will always be my everything, Levi. But it's done. We live in two different worlds now, and there's no room for me in yours."
"Then I'll quit mine. I'll come back to yours—"
She frowned. "Levi, you're saying that because you're hurt and not thinking clearly. Stop it. Get on that plane and go to your concert."
He grabbed her wrist, holding her hand close, bringing his lips to her palm. "I'm hurt as hell, Harli. But that doesn't change anything. All I've ever wanted is you. I don't care about any of this."
She winced and pulled her hand away. "I'm sorry, Levi. I can't do this anymore." She leaned up and kissed him softly on the cheek.