“A great one that has no time to be obsessed with beauty, unlike some French man I know.”
He smiled. “I happen to get jobs based on my appearance. If you would make a little effort you might as well.”
“Oh yeah, they would be lining up to hire a girl in a pretty dress with curlers in her hair.” I snorted showing exactly what I thought of that.
“You will never be able to be a lady at the graduation ball, will you?”
I sighed. “Jane says I need to be an appropriate young lady. I need to flirt and be merry. And wear a dress that is appropriate.” I stuck my tongue out and frowned.
He laughed at me. “Well, I came to make sure you knew what you were getting into. Are you sure about this path? What if it’s this or him?”
I thought about it. “I have the money and reputation to do this alone if I need to. Jane needs me more than I need her. If she lets me go, then she does. I am not worried about assassins. Who will they send after me that has any chance at all?” I was silent for a moment and bent my head. “Besides, it shouldn’t come to that. Who will see it coming? Him being my cover is kind of perfect, isn't it? Its genius, you have to admit.”
He stayed silent, looking at me.
“Okay, so they could send you. I don’t want to have to kill you, Phillip. Don’t blow my cover on this. No matter the money they offer you we have always been able to count on each other. I know your story and you know mine. We are the closest thing to a family either of us has. If you try to kill him or me I’ll take you out. I won't want to but I will.” I looked up into his face. “I can't let more innocents die because I wasn't able to protect them as well as I should have.”
“I know how you feel; I feel that way sometimes too. But I’m a trained killer. It’s what I do. It’s what we both do. Just don’t forget that. Our friendship pushes the limit with our handlers and our jobs. Getting involved with him is a bad idea. But as long as it’s simply business, then I’ll step back.”
I sighed, feeling relieved.
“Is that relief I see?”
He smiled and I could see that look in his eyes. I was about to get harassed. “No. I’m just glad that we don’t have to pit against each other. I’d hate to have to kill you. Who would brush my hair if you died?” I smiled and his smile broadened and turned competitive. I knew that look. I was in for a long night.
“Let’s test this out, shall we? They have a gym? Want to have a bit of a tournament to see who the champ is?”
“The assassination should be done now.” I opened my computer, hacked into the system, and sounded the alarm in the headmaster’s office. “And three, two, one…” and the screaming and phone ringing began. I smiled at Phillip. “You better get to your dorm before you get blamed.”
He smiled at me and jumped out the window. I had left him about eighty seconds before inspections started. He would make it. He should be fine. No one would see him prowling around in the rain like a jungle cat. I lay down into my bed and waited for a pound on my door. When none came and instead I heard instructors telling everyone to go to bed, I smiled and laid down falling asleep, thinking - for once - about my future; how it might not be shit after all.
Chapter Four (Helen)
“Good morning, class. I know this would generally be hand-to-hand combat but this morning we will start your instruction on ballroom dancing. As you all know, every few years we get enough kids to hit the graduation mark and in their honor we have a huge party. Dinner, dancing and free time.
“Now I think this to be a waste of time. You kids do not need to know how to party, you’re soldiers. However, the government thinks that for all the graduates’ hard work they should have this and everyone else must honor them by joining the fun. So because of these hard working grads, you all get to pansy foot around.
“Now we will send you back to your rooms to change into something appropriate for dance practice. Then all of the students in this school, except the grads who are elsewhere, will meet and practice. Now you are expected in the gym in ten minutes, so no dawdling. Dismissed.”
Wow, he obviously thought dancing a waste of time. Great, that makes two of us. I hated dancing, well, ballroom dancing. It ranked up there with that backwater hick’s square dancing or whatever it is those country folk do. I shouldn’t talk as I was one and did learn such things, but even in that life I had hated it. It always seemed to be for simpletons. The music made me feel like I was being mocked.
Oh well, complaining about dancing wouldn’t make it go by any faster. What to wear though? I didn’t own dresses. Who scales a building in a dress and assassinates a roomful of unknowing businessmen? No one. I’m a killer, not a dancer. I know how to dance; Jane left nothing out of my education, except that charm school that Nick mentioned, and I bet now if she were here she would be regretting it.
“Whatever will you wear? I don’t believe I have ever seen anything dance worthy in your closet.”
Why did he always show up at my room? “Leave off, Phillip. And just what are you doing in my closet? A girl’s clothes are personal stuff.”
He laughed. “Yeah, right. You have more gear in there than the whole universal army. But a dress or skirt? No such luck.”
“I’ll wear dress slacks.”
Phillip laughed and turned towards his dorm. He could have joined the military; he would have been the best black ops I had ever met. But he had one goal and his handler could get him there faster than the military. I had only joined because I needed to, to get the kind of pilot training only they could provide. Phillip could fly but in a space race he would lose miserably.
Still, he knew what he needed to know to get his revenge. That is how we had gotten to this point together. We had both agreed to do what must be done and we knew enough about each other to know we could count on each other. I sighed, I was just distracting myself from the task at hand.
I opened my closet. There - in the front hanging up - was a skirt and blouse. The blouse was simple and allowed me to move freely without it getting in the way or constricting my movement. The skirt had a slit up one side. Not high enough to be considered sluttish but high enough that I could do a high kick if I needed. Someone knew me very well.
The shoes were high heels. I could do high heels. I often worked in them. The points offered a weapon; I didn’t need to do anything with them except kick hard. The straps were a bit different than I was used to but I consider myself a smart girl; I soon figured out how to wrap it around my ankle and lower leg and hitch them. Now to run without ruining the points. I fled my dorm room, hoping not to be late. Phillip had left after teasing me.
As it turns out, I was late. Only by about thirty seconds. Still, it gave the instructors a reason to pick on me. Now I was grateful for all those dancing lessons Jane made me take. She said it was an important part of training. It would keep me agile and thin. She was right. I had not had time to tape my boobs down before class - while changing into appropriate underwear - so they pushed against my shirt. Some guys looked at me in wonder, amazed that I had any curves. I hated men, and curves. Without them, men wouldn’t have anything to make them act like such stupid fools.
I looked around for Phillip, sure he was to blame, and ready to put my heel through his foot. He saved me from a lecture by walking in dressed for the dinner party we would be attending next week. He had taken great care with his appearance. I knew what he was doing. Clever boy. The teacher exclaimed that since we were late we could demonstrate the first waltz. He took my arm and led me to the floor. We got in position and as the music started we waltzed.
“Thanks for the outfit but if you ever buy me something this revealing again, I will kill you.” I spoke low and kept a smile on.
“You are welcome. Look at it this way. It is either boys stare or Jane yells.”
I thought about what he said and nodded once. He was right. If people here knew Jane, and they said I was not prepared for dance lessons, I would hear it. ‘It’ was not what one wanted
to hear from Jane.
“Still, did you have to get something that shows so much cleavage?”
“Darling, most girls in here are showing about twice as much as you are. You can only see the very top of the mounds. Don’t be so embarrassed.”
I sighed, “I know but you know how I feel about all that. Men are pigs. This just gives them reason to hit on me. Did I tell you about the headmaster’s son hitting on me?”
Phillip shook his head. The music stopped and we finished in a pose. The room was silent. We didn’t dare move until the teacher came over and looked at our form.
“Congratulations, you two. You have saved yourselves from great humiliation this time. Next time, however, you might not be so good at the demonstration we require you to do.”
Yeah, sure. Like you could ask us to do anything that we can't do. Phillip and I walked to the edge and two more students were chosen to go out.
“You know, I think the only thing he could ask you to do that you couldn't is be nice.”
He was picking on me, I knew. But still, ouch.
“I think she can be nice. You just have to avoid saying anything that annoys her.”
Phillip and I turned to see Nick there. I turned to Phillip.
“At least someone believes in me.”
Phillip smiled and put his arm around my waist.
“Oh honey, you know I believe you can do anything you put your mind to.”
“Lay off, Phillip. Just because you got me into a skirt doesn't mean you are getting into it to.”
He snapped his fingers and pouted.
“There goes my Christmas wish list. I was gonna give it to Jane and see if she would let you off that leash for just one night. But now you have dashed all my dreams. Well, off I go to find a damsel who’s not so man-hating.”
He took off into the crowd. I smiled and shook my head.
“I see you two worked some things out.”
I turned back to Nick.
“We did indeed. We just needed to sit down and talk, like you said.”
“Good. It’s important to keep your friends close.”
“And your enemies closer. That’s the saying.” I turned to look at him. “It seems true doesn't it?”
He looked serious. “Is that what this friendship is? A way to keep me close because you think we are enemies?”
“I didn’t say that. But, the way you hound me about being some dead chick, you couldn't blame me for keeping you close so I know if you are investigating me or not.”
He looked mad now. Caught red handed.
“I wouldn’t waste my time.”
He turned and walked away. I sighed and followed him into the crowd. I grabbed his arm once we got to the edge - by the bleachers - where a few kids were sitting.
“I get it. You wouldn’t waste your time, but you have others checking into it? That’s why you’re so pissed. I found you out. I hate to tell you but I already knew. And yes, one of the reasons I agreed to this friendship was so I could keep tabs on anyone who might try to look me up. I knew you wouldn’t just give up. I could see it in your eyes. You’re stubborn. But I have also had fun. I’m not used to just hanging out.”
“Nice to know I could help.”
I sighed and let go of his arm. “No need to be sarcastic. Part of the reason you are hanging out with me is to prove I am who you blindly insist on me being.”
He sighed and turned back round to face me.
“You’re right. I want my girlfriend back. I loved her more than anything, and I still do. So when someone exactly like her shows up and says she isn't her, I am skeptical. Because I know you are Celeste. You can say no all you want, but I know you are and I will do anything to prove it.”
He turned and walked away, leaving me there wondering what to do next. You couldn't fool someone who you had been prepared to marry. We were childhood sweethearts. Key word being were. I walked after him.
“Listen, I’m sorry I put it that way. It was insensitive of me. I usually have much more respect for the dead. I know what it is like to lose someone you care about. It has happened to me over and over. That’s why I am like this. I don’t trust or count on anyone and so I can't get hurt. Listen, don’t be mad. We both had alternate reasons for hanging out with each other. How about we call it even and go from there?”
He stopped walking and turned.
“Are you going to admit that you are Celeste?”
I looked down and back up. I had to face him head on.
“I won't admit to something that isn't true. I know it hurts but you need to let go and move on.”
“I can't.”
He turned and walked to the front. He was picked next. I pushed through the crowd. I had to see this. He had always been a crazy dancer. Not very structured, the way this dancing was supposed to be.
The music started and he surprised me. He was good. Obviously he had been practicing. I had always tried to get him to take lessons with me. I had wanted to learn to dance properly. He had always laughed it off. Of course he would wait until I was dead to listen to me. I watched him dance with that slut Missy, or whatever her name was. I sighed, no time to get jealous now. Just because it should have been me in his arms.
“He is a good dancer. I thought you said he didn’t know how.”
Phillip came up behind me and put his arms around my waist while standing behind me. He put his head on my shoulder. He wasn't trying to be offensive. He could tell I needed comfort. We had been stuck in space for hours after the enemy spaceship incident. The explosions had damaged his ship. We had both spilled all.
I accepted the comfort Phillip offered. He knew how in love I had been. He wasn't stupid, he knew I was still bothered by the circumstances no matter what I tried to say. But that life was gone and so I let go of my anger and jealousy and instead focused on my physical contact with Phillip.
He always offered and I never took it. I wasn't always sure he was joking. Then one day we had talked and we had decided that if either of us ever needed that kind of physical contact, it would be with each other, no strings attached. We were the only ones that could understand why a relationship wasn't possible. So we provided comfort to each other. The physical comfort everyone needed sometimes. We had never taken the step to turn it into sexual comfort but if I needed it he would give it, even knowing I wasn't thinking of him while doing it. Sometimes I wanted to ask whom he would think of. But we never asked for anything that wasn't volunteered.
I put my arms on his and watched the dance finish. They bowed and left the dance floor. Missy went over to a group of girls that giggled. How did these girls make it here? They had to be kind of good at something if they made it here. But I couldn't see right away what that was.
“Enjoy the show? I learned to dance when I got here so I could surprise Celeste when I went back for her. Waste of time I guess, since she’s dead but can't do anything about that now, can I?”
He pushed his way back into the crowd. I stayed put. Phillip stayed with me as we watched the others pair up and get insulted by the teachers. I didn’t see any of it though. I just kept seeing his face. The look when he explained his dance performance. It would haunt me forever. I wasn't as over this as I said I was. But I had gone home to bury the past and damn it, it would stay there. At least if I had anything to say about it.
“Sometimes love is the hardest obstacle to overcome.”
Phillip was right and I nodded my acknowledgement. “I need some air.”
He let go of me and turned me to face him.
“You sure you’re gonna be okay?”
I nodded and he stepped back. I smiled to him. I put my hand on his check and smiled. “Thanks Phillip.”
He took my hand and kissed my palm. Then he moved to the edge to watch the performers. I walked back through the crowd and snuck by the teachers guarding the doors. The teachers were not doing a very good job. I stepped outside. I closed my eyes and lifted my head towards the sky. I took a couple of d
eep breaths and swallowed my pain. No use crying. My life had already changed direction. There was no going back now.
“So, you snuck out too, huh?” I could hear the breathing and there was only one person it would be.
“How did you know I was here?”
I looked over at the corner where he stood. “I could hear you breathing and feel you looking at me.”
He nodded.
“How come you didn’t leave? Or hide the tear that slid down your cheek.”
“I have nothing to hide. It’s not what you think. I feel guilty about telling Phillip no. He’s been after me for a while and I keep telling him I’m not into relationships. I don’t have the time or energy for them. He’s persistent. I’m afraid it’s gonna interfere with our friendship.”
“You will make up any excuse so you don’t have to tell me the truth won't you?”
“I’m not making up excuses. I feel bad for you true, but not bad enough to cry.”
“Is that because you are still mad at me for leaving? Or are you going to try to tell me it’s because you don’t know me well enough to cry for me?”
I shrugged. “Like I said before, most of us are here because we lost someone. If I cried every time I met someone that did, all I would have time to do is cry.”
I sighed. If I wouldn’t have gotten in trouble I would have already beaten him up for the aggravation he caused me. “Listen, I already told you, I’m not Celeste. But you refuse to believe me. Can you just leave off and give me one day without your suspicions following me around like a shadow? It’s been a crappy day and I’m too tired to deal with this.”
I sat down on the bench next to the door. I put my head in my hands and tried to block everything out. A minute later I felt hands on my shoulders. He was massaging my shoulders. I picked my head up - ready to tell him to stop - but then he hit a sore spot and I no longer really wanted him to stop. I let him massage away. I leaned back and closed my eyes. I allowed myself to relax.
“I remember doing this to you before when you would fight with your father. It always relaxed you.”
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