I’m Mick Fleetwood—the outsider in some ways, yet the glue that holds the band together. Rich and Madeline are Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks, respectively. They’re the creative force, the shining stars…the lovers who create the music. Tony is John McVie, the utility man (all right, the nerd). And Sarah is Christine McVie: the funny, sensitive iconoclast who blossoms into a dignified beauty. The one Mick Fleetwood should have hooked up with.
The only difference between Fleetwood Mac and us is that Sarah and Tony were never married. Also, I’m a lot shorter than Mick Fleetwood.
But the vital similarities remain. The connections are undeniable. The Plan is our masterpiece: both our Rumours and our reunion tour. It’s a sign. I would never have watched Behind the Music: Fleetwood Mac if it weren’t. As Lindsey and Stevie, Rich and Madeline must break up. As Mick, I must have a torrid romance with Rich’s soon-to-be former girlfriend.
And then, in a bizarre twist, I will also hook up with Christine McVie: my best friend.
There is no other possible sequence of events.
10:35 p.m.
Tony’s call comes.
“Hello?”
“You get the card?”
“Yup.” My heart is thumping again. I glance around the banking center on East Fifty-first Street: the rows of ATMs, the grubby tile floor littered with receipts, the harsh fluorescent lights. I am alone. It occurs to me that this is the very first time I’ve ever bought a cell phone with my own money (as opposed to Dad’s money). It might be Tony’s first time, too. Two cell phones for a single call: this call. $103.97 split five ways. It represents the only money we spent on The Plan, aside from cab fare and the money to replace the air conditioner.
“I’m putting the card in now,” I announce. I picture Tony and Rich on the other end, sitting in my dad’s darkened study, their faces lit by the bluish glow of the computer. “It says touch here to proceed in English…”
The image of a keypad appears on the screen, along with the words: PLEASE ENTER YOUR PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER.
“The code is one zero eight four nine three,” Tony says.
Pulsating blood fills my ears. I can barely hear him. I press the numbers. My fingers leave moist traces on the glass.
PLEASE WAIT A MOMENT WHILE WE PROCESS YOUR INFORMATION…
“Now it’s asking me what kind of transaction I want to make,” I whisper.
“Withdrawal from savings. It should give you a list of six different accounts.”
Presto: Six rectangles flash on the screen: one on top of the other, each filled with a string of digits. I know a hidden video camera must be taping me right now. I force the thought from my mind. We’ll be long gone before anybody sees the footage.
“Select the top one,” Tony instructs. “It should start with three two eight.”
I obey. Dollar amounts appear, ranging from $20 to $1500.
“How much should I take out?” I ask. My voice is thick and shaky, unrecognizable to myself.
“Fifteen hundred from each account,” Tony says. I can tell from a change in tone that he’s smiling now. “We’re flying first-class tomorrow morning. I want to do some duty-free shopping.”
The machine whirs and hums.
The slot opens.
A crisp pile of bills emerges, like a baby from the womb.
I smile, too, even though I am nauseated. We are committed. The paper feels cool against my hot fingers. I’m tempted to rub it against my forehead. I fight back sickness. I force the righteous venom to course through my veins. My father deserves this. It’s not an impulse that went awry, a whim that snowballed into an atrocity. It’s justice. Divine justice. Like the writing on the wall in the book of Daniel: MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSHIN…
“Got it?” Tony asks.
“Got it,” I say.
He laughs. “We did it, then, didn’t we?”
“We did it.”
Acknowledgments
Parts of this book have been fifteen years in the making (gulp) so it’s only fair to give thanks to the writing group where I first began throwing out ideas. So here’s to Jill Hoffman, Jennifer Belle, Scott Jones, and everyone else who met on Franklin Street all those years ago. Thanks are also due to Joanna Hershon, Merrill Feitell, Bowman Hastie, and Barney Miller (I’m sure I’m forgetting people) who read parts of this book in various forms along the way. Enormous gratitude is owed to my agents, Edward Necarsulmer IV and Sarah Burnes. Ditto the good folks at Harper for brilliant editorial advice, above all Clare Hutton, Gretchen Hirsch, and Zareen Jaffery. Farrin Jacobs and Elise Howard deserve a shout, too. So do Maureen Johnson, Rachel Cohn, and E. Lockhart—you rule! And the biggest thanks, as always, to my insanely patient and ingenious spouse, Jessica.
About the Author
DANIEL EHRENHAFT is the author of many books for teens, including the Edgar Award-winning Wessex Papers (under the pseudonym Daniel Parker), DIRTY LAUNDRY, and DRAWING A BLANK. You can visit him online at www.danielehrenhaft.com.
Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.
Credits
Jacket photo © 2010 Alloy Photography/Veer
Jacket design by Thomas Forget
Copyright
FRIEND IS NOT A VERB. Copyright © 2010 by Daniel Ehrenhaft. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Ehrenhaft, Daniel.
Friend is not a verb: a novel / by Daniel Ehrenhaft.—1st ed.
p. cm.
Summary: While sixteen-year-old Hen’s family and friends try to make his supposed dreams of becoming a rock star come true, he deals with the reality of being in a band with an ex-girlfriend, a friendship that may become love, and his older sister’s mysterious disappearance and reappearance.
ISBN 978-0-06-113106-6
[1. Interpersonal relations—Fiction. 2. Bands (Music)—Fiction. 3. Brothers and sisters—Fiction. 4. Fugitives from justice—Fiction. 5. Family life—New York (State)—New York—Fiction. 6. New York (N.Y.)—Fiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.E3235Fri 2010 2009044006
[Fic]—dc22 CIP
AC
EPub Edition © April 2010 ISBN: 978-0-06-199339-8
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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