“You did what?” the two cousins laughed.
“I am not ashamed to admit it. I begged my boo for another chance, even got down on my knees.”
Lashay’s eyes widened. “Girl, no, you didn’t!”
“Yes, I did, and it was the best move I ever made,” Shannon smiled, rubbing her stomach. “I’d just come to grips with who I was and what I wanted. I wanted Marcus, but he said he wouldn’t propose again, so I proposed to him. When he refused, I finally told him he didn’t have a choice.” All three of them laughed at that.
“I don’t think my brother wanted a choice. All he wanted then and still wants now is his ‘Queen Shannon. ’”
“I know,” Shannon paused, “but I wasn’t able to fully accept that until I settled the war within myself. Now, I can’t imagine my life without him. Sometimes I think I love him too much. It’s the same way with Derrick. Once he gets healed, he’ll spend the rest of his life loving you with everything in him. Unfortunately, he can’t please you until he’s first pleased with himself.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Staci pondered. She remembered Shannon’s insecure days very well. She refilled her glass before she added, “I sure hope you’re right.”
“Staci, I don’t understand something,” Lashay questioned. “Why did you marry Derrick if you knew he wasn’t ready?”
“Well, to be honest, I was afraid of losing him again. We had just gotten back together, and I was afraid that if we waited, I would lose him. I knew then and still know now that he’s my ordained mate, so I figured, as long as he’s the right one, the timing didn’t matter.” She took several sips. “Boy, was I wrong.”
“I know if I had married Brian before I matured, it would have been a disaster. I was way too childish,” Lashay stated.
“We can all drink to that. You don’t have to remind me. I was there,” Staci said, then looked at Shannon. “As I recall, you had a lot to do with the game playing.”
Shannon lifted her hands in surrender. “Guilty as charged. See, that’s what I’m talking about. When you’re insecure, you will do things that don’t make sense. You will go after things you really don’t want and do things you really don’t want to—but you can’t stop because you’re driven by the fear of rejection and insecurity of who you are. I was so mixed up. I completely ignored Brian’s constant rejections. The sad part is I didn’t really like Brian that way. He didn’t like me; I didn’t like him. I was just wasting time, chasing after what wasn’t mine and delaying my real blessing—Marcus. But Staci, you’re not wasting time with Derrick. He loves you. That’s what will bring him back.”
“I agree with that,” Lashay added. “That’s what brought me and Brian back together. We loved each other. We were afraid to tell each other, but we loved each other almost from the day we met. It’s our love that helped us through the bad times and taught us how to appreciate each other. And you know what? I wouldn’t trade anything for what we have now.
“One day you’ll feel the same way about Derrick. You’ll look back on this and be thankful it happened.” Lashay took a bite of s’mores, then asked Shannon. “Did I ever thank you for trying to break me and my boo up?”
Shannon threw a pillow at Lashay. “You know your crazy butt didn’t.”
“Thank you, girl. I wouldn’t be married to the finest lawyer in the world and pregnant without you,” Lashay laughed and threw the pillow back.
Staci laughed at her girls. She loved them both, but how much they loved each other amazed her, considering how they met. While Lashay was away in graduate school, Shannon had tried unsuccessfully to steal Brian. In the end, Shannon found Jesus and moved on. Maybe they were right. If God could work out their relationships, He could certainly work out her marriage.
Before the night was over, the three women danced and sang like teenagers, then watched a tearjerker love story.
Staci had to admit, she still felt the emptiness every time she looked at her girls’ protruding abdomens. What she would give to have a baby of her own. The decision to abort her child seemed the right thing to do at the time, but she’d since acknowledged that it had been her emotions talking and not her heart.
Around midnight, Staci couldn’t fight the urge to talk to Derrick any longer. She left the peppermint-pickle-eating women in the den and went upstairs into her bedroom and dialed his cell number. He answered on the third ring.
“Hello.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” she spoke just above a whisper.
“Staci, is that you?”
“Yes.”
He hesitated before asking, “Is everything all right? Do you need anything?”
“Everything is fine. I just wanted to hear your voice.” Why make up an excuse, she thought. He’s still my husband.
“Really?” he sounded surprised.
“I miss you.” There, I’ve said it. But at least I’m not begging like Shannon did, she rationalized.
“I miss you, too.” His voice was softer than normal. “I’ll call you sometime, if that’s okay?”
I would much rather have you come home. “That’s fine, Derrick.” She was going to take Shannon’s advice and give him some time. At least he agreed to call. “I’ll let you go back to sleep; bye.” There was a long pause before the line went dead.
Derrick couldn’t go back to sleep. Hearing Staci’s voice left his longing for her stronger than it had been hours before. He’d spent most of the evening trying to get her out of his mind. Then, just as he dozed off, she called. He had to see her. He had to hold her. In record time, he was dressed in sweats and in his SUV driving down Highway 24. He didn’t know what he was going to say to her; he’d figure it out once he got there. His expectations plummeted, however, when he saw Shannon’s and Lashay’s cars in the driveway. There was no way he could say what he needed to say with them there. It was 1:00 A.M., too late for them to drive home so he could have some privacy with his wife. He backed out of the driveway and drove back down Tunnel Road.
Chapter 15
Staci nearly strained her neck looking around the sanctuary for Derrick. He hadn’t given any indication he would attend church today, but after she’d hung up with him last night, she prayed fervently for him to come. As praise and worship came to a close without Derrick’s presence, so did her hopes. That didn’t dampen her mood, though. Derrick had said he would call. The sooner they talked, the sooner this mess would be resolved and he’d be back home and in her arms.
No sooner had the minister said the May the Lord watch between me and thee benediction, Staci turned her cell phone on in hopes of a message from Derrick. A smile crept across her face as she checked her voice mail. The smile remained as she listened to her father’s message, but she still felt disappointed inside. “Remember, baby girl, keep your head up. I love you.”
“I love you too, Daddy,” Staci mumbled before pressing the number seven key to delete the message. She closed her cell phone and slipped it back into her purse, then she walked across the half-empty sanctuary to join the rest of her family on the dais.
“I’m surprised to see you at church today,” Staci smiled at her younger brother.
“Miracles do happen,” Craig smiled before giving Staci a hug. “Besides, Mama has been calling me every day leaving prayers on both my home and cell phones. You know the power of a praying mother.”
The Simones laughed at the rebellious I-can’t-be-saved-yet-because-I’m-still-having-fun Craig.
“It’s not funny. Every time I try to do something, I can hear Mama saying, ‘You are going to preach one day.’ I feel so convicted that I can barely stand to sin anymore.”
“Little brother,” Marcus joined in, “I’ve got two words for you: Give up! This is one battle you will not win, trust me. Been there, done that, and got Jesus to prove it.”
“I should’ve had Mama put some prayer on Derrick,” Staci laughed, but couldn’t conceal the seriousness from her tone.
“We’re all praying for Derric
k,” Pastor Julia said, then in an effort to lift the dark cloud that had instantly settled over them, asked, “Staci, what would you like to do to Derrick?”
“Huh?”
“As long as you want to do bodily harm to him, that’s fine, but if you start feeling like you want to see blood or stomp him ten feet in the ground, then we have a problem,” Julia explained. “If you feel like you want to throw hot grits or hot grease on him, that’s normal.” Staci’s eyes lit up at that suggestion. “You just want him to feel pain because you feel pain. But, if you start dreaming about his funeral or contemplating running him over with your car or bashing his head in with a sledgehammer, then we all need to lie out in sackcloth and ashes right now!”
Staci laughed. “It’s not that bad, Auntie.”
“I know; that’s why he was at the 8:00 A.M. service,” Julia smiled. “He’s trying to sort things out.”
Both relief and sadness washed over Staci. At least her prayer had been answered. He’d come to church, but she didn’t get to see him.
As she walked through the parking lot to her car, Staci felt lonely. Every one of her family members had someone to go home to. Auntie Julia had Pastor Reggie. Lashay had Brian. Marcus had Shannon. She was sure Craig had one or maybe two hopeful young ladies waiting for him. But her house was empty.
Staci waited all week for a call that never came. Every day, she woke up with hope that this was the day Derrick would call and they would start working on their marriage, but that didn’t happen. She started to call him, but decided against it. If he wanted to see her, he knew where she lived. If he wanted to talk to her, he had all of her numbers. By Saturday, she came to the realization Derrick didn’t want her anymore.
She accepted the sad reality that she was on her way to becoming a single woman. Being single was foreign to her. She’d only been married for a year, but she and Derrick had been a couple since college. When they broke up, her heart still belonged to Derrick; therefore, she didn’t consider herself single because she hoped they would reconcile. Staci wasn’t afraid of being single; she just didn’t know how to do it. She didn’t know the rules anymore.
She walked into the kitchen and looked inside the refrigerator. The remnants of a Thai meal from two nights ago didn’t appeal to her. She didn’t feel like bothering the pizza man tonight, and she didn’t feel like watching another DVD. She’d watched them so much she’d begun to memorize dialogues. She’d completed the work she had brought home from the office earlier in the afternoon. There wasn’t really anything she needed to do. The house was clean, and the clothes, washed and folded.
Staci stepped out on the lanai. The weather was cool, but bearable. Since whatever she would eat for dinner had to be purchased, she decided to take herself on a dinner date. Back inside her bedroom, she pulled three sets of clothing from her closet. After holding them against her body in the full-length mirror, she selected the purple mélange pantsuit and matching four-inch sling-backs.
She showered and applied light makeup. At the last minute, she pulled the curls from her shoulders and pinned them neatly on the top of her head, leaving a few loose curls hanging down the side of her face. Once dressed, she checked herself in the mirror. “You look good, girl,” she said to her reflection.
Staci backed out of the driveway and unto Tunnel Road without any idea of where she was going. When she saw the Interstate 80 turnoff, she decided to check out the new Mexican restaurant at Emery Bay. Using her parking pass, she pulled into her reserved parking spot in the Emery Bay garage. Before pressing the alarm button on her key ring, she buttoned her coat and strapped her purse on her shoulder. The mid-March evening air was average in temperature for this time of year. She inhaled the cool air and could still smell the rain from the night before.
The brick-paved streets of Emery Bay were cluttered with people. This was the norm on Saturday nights. The sixteen-screen movie theater always attracted a nice weekend crowd. This weekend, the latest animated flick released caused couples to flood to the theater with their young children. The plaza was lined with stores and specialty shops and restaurants. It was the perfect place to take a date. It was the kind of place couples could enjoy a delicious meal, then hold hands and stroll the plaza and feast on spectacular views of the Golden Gate and Bay bridges along with the San Francisco skyline. Staci attempted to ignore the passing couples who were doing just that, holding hands and sitting on the iron benches, cuddling. She opted instead to look into the windows of Abercrombie & Fitch, Ann Taylor, and Ethan Allen.
Staci reached her destination and quickly stepped inside the busy restaurant, hoping to eradicate the emptiness that had crept over her. Inside, the wall-to-wall crowded restaurant resembled a Mexican village. Waiters dressed in colorful ponchos scurried about trying to quickly satisfy the noisy crowd with huge trays loaded with the biggest margarita glasses she’d ever seen
“Hola, señorita,” the host, wearing a huge sombrero to accompany his poncho, greeted her.
“Buenas noches. Table for one, please.” Staci felt hot from the sudden change of temperature. She’d just untied the belt on her coat when the host informed her of the half-hour wait. The only thing she had waiting for her was a vacant house, so she gladly took a seat in the already-packed waiting area and stared straight ahead.
I should have brought a book, she thought ten minutes into her wait after the pair seated next to her started kissing. She focused her attention on the tropical fish inside the aquarium opposite her. Every other minute she glanced at her watch until the host offered her a complimentary margarita while she waited.
“No, thank you, but I would like a virgin strawberry daiquiri.” Within minutes, the host returned with the frozen fruit drink topped with whipped cream. “Thank you.” Staci took a long swig, closed her eyes, and let the cold liquid glide down her parched throat and cool her insides.
“Good evening, beautiful lady. Mind if I sit next to you?”
She didn’t see the gentleman who approached her. Staci opened her eyes and looked around and behind her to see who the man was talking to. Once she realized she was his subject, she gave him a brief visual inspection. He wasn’t that small, about five feet ten, which is what she was in heels. He was no match for her giant husband, though.
“Certainly you’ve been called beautiful before,” the man said, when she didn’t respond to him. “Do you mind if I wait next to you?”
Staci moved her coat onto her lap and made room for him, then turned her attention back to her drink.
A few minutes later, the gentleman intruded on her solitude again. “What is a beautiful woman like you doing dining alone?”
Staci stopped sipping her drink. “Excuse me, Mr. . . .”
“It’s Malcolm Leblanc,” he answered.
“Mr. Leblanc, how do you know I’m dining alone?” Staci smiled, but her tone wasn’t pleasant. The restaurant was hot and stuffy and now dark chocolate Mr. Leblanc was starting to get on her nerves.
“I saw you come in, and I heard you ask for a table for one.”
Staci thought the man was nosey, but didn’t verbalize it. “Mr. Leblanc, I’m trying to enjoy a peaceful evening alone, but you seem determined to sabotage my plans.”
Malcolm appeared to be insulted and backed away. “Sorry, miss, I was just trying to hold a conversation with a beautiful woman to pass the time. Sorry if I offended you.” He turned his back to her.
Staci had been out of the game so long that she couldn’t tell the difference between flirting and causal conversation. Maybe she was being too hard on him. All the man said was hello.
She tapped his shoulder to get his attention. “Mr. Leblanc, I apologize if I was rude. Thank you for the compliment.”
He turned and smiled again. “Please, call me Malcolm. I know there are a lot of predators out here, but I’m not one of them. I haven’t bitten a woman in two weeks.”
“If you try that now, I’ll pour this drink on you,” she replied and raised her glass.
>
Malcolm’s chuckle revealed a pair of straight, almost white teeth. “I know, and you’ll probably hit me with your purse too.”
Staci looked at her watch, and then at him, but remained silent.
“Does the beautiful lady in purple have a name?”
Staci hesitated before answering, “You can call me Staci.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Staci. Are you from around here?”
“Napa Valley,” she answered, before stirring her drink.
“Really? I love Napa Valley. A friend of mine owns a winery there.” Malcolm paused. “Maybe I’ll take you there one day.”
Staci almost choked on her drink. “Malcolm, you don’t know me, and you’re talking about taking me somewhere?”
“Maybe I’m being a little presumptuous.”
“You think?” she replied sarcastically.
“I’ll ask you again after we have dinner.”
Malcolm smiled again, and this time Staci noted he had a nice smile enclosed by a full set of lips. “Malcolm, I’m not having dinner with you. I’m eating alone.”
“So was I,” he answered, not fazed one bit by Staci’s sassiness.
The thought of having dinner with a man other than Derrick never occurred to Staci. Maybe it should have. She’d been alone most of the time when Derrick was home, anyway.
“Señorita Staci, your table is ready,” the host announced.
Malcolm stood. “What do you say, beautiful?”
He’s called me beautiful four times in the last twenty minutes, Staci mentally noted. She stood and gathered her coat. “Malcolm, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She paused. “I’m married.”
“I didn’t ask you to marry me; just to enjoy a meal with me.”
Staci studied the man she stood eye level with. What would it hurt to have dinner with him? A little conversation would help take her mind off of Derrick. She hadn’t come here for this, but it was a nice diversion.
“Promise not to bite,” Staci teased.
Unresolved Issues Page 7