“Malcolm, I can’t talk right now. My mother-in-law passed away yesterday.”
The condolences he offered lacked sincerity. “Sorry to hear that. Does this mean I can’t see you today?”
Staci closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. How on earth did I spend so much time with someone as inconsiderate as Malcolm? she wondered.
“Malcolm, I told you before, I’m ending our communication.”
“I know what you said, but I miss you, and I know you miss me too. I know you have a lot to do, but just talk to me for a minute.” Malcolm’s voice sounded like it belonged on a 900 sex talk line. “I just need to hear your sweet voice for a little while,” he practically moaned.
“I don’t have time to babysit you. I have important business to take care of. Good-bye.” Staci clipped the phone on her waist just before Derrick entered her home office.
“Marcus asked me to give you his condolences,” she said, looking up at Derrick.
“I appreciate that. I’ll call him later.” She guessed Derrick meant that. She figured he really missed the few friendships he once had. It seems like he’d lost so much when he walked out on her. He probably didn’t realize just how much until now, when he needed someone.
“Thanks for breakfast,” he said just as she walked around the desk with her jacket fanned over her arm.
“Sure. Are you ready to go?” She avoided direct eye contact with him because she was starting to feel her heart opening to him again.
He reached for her, but she took a step back and at the same time shook her head.
“I’ll get my keys,” he finally answered and walked out.
Staci spent the entire day supporting Derrick. First stop, the San Francisco International Airport to pick up Keisha. Staci couldn’t have imagined the drive back to Oakland would be so taxing. Keisha cried, nearly screamed from the moment Derrick stepped from the SUV at curbside. She was so distraught. Her big brother had to carry both the luggage and her. Staci’s hands were shaking, and her ears ringing by the time she pulled into the mortuary parking lot.
Miss Cora had refused to talk about the type of service she desired, but she did select a funeral home and prepaid enough money to make sure her children would be able to give her a nice home-going.
Derrick ran every decision he made by Staci. For the next seven days, outside of personal hygiene, he didn’t do anything without Staci at his side. He needed her for everything, from arranging the service to selecting clothing for his mother. Keisha didn’t mind. She considered Staci a sister. Besides, she was too distraught to make any sound decisions on her own.
Derrick wouldn’t even eat without Staci, which wasn’t good, because she was so busy that she really didn’t have time to eat. Some days he didn’t eat until the evening when Staci finally had a chance to sit down and eat with him.
She was busy, but Staci had to admit she enjoyed feeling needed by her husband again and being touched by him again. He constantly held her hand, rested an arm around her, or leaned against her for support. A couple of times she gave him a quick peck on his lips before realizing what she’d done. This morning upon entering the kitchen, she greeted him with, “Good morning, honey.”
Staci constantly fought the war within herself about her future with Derrick. Her stomach fluttered with hope all the while her rational thoughts were against reconciliation of any type. She liked how they were now, but it was only temporary. That didn’t change how natural it felt though. But she couldn’t allow herself to become vulnerable to him again. As soon as he finished grieving, Derrick would return to his usual withdrawn self. Staci believed that.
The night before the funeral, after the sedative a doctor prescribed for Keisha had taken effect, Derrick and Staci sat in their room talking and laughing like they used to do back when they were in college. They reminisced about their first date. To punish Staci for making fun of his lack of color coordination, Derrick flipped her onto the bed and tickled her until she begged for mercy. As Staci lay on her back giggling uncontrollably, Derrick’s hands traveled upward from her abdomen and touched parts of her that made her instantly sober. She lay there with her eyes locked into his, debating if she should respond to his sensual touch or push him away. However, her cell phone rang, making the decision for her.
Derrick removed his hands and waited for her to answer the phone, but she didn’t move. He guessed it was Malcolm and interpreted the look in her eyes as one of longing and wondered if she was longing for Malcolm.
He stood up. “I’ll leave so you can return your call.”
“You don’t have to do that.” She wanted him to both stay and leave.
He gave her a slight nod, but still left the room anyway. She never did check her phone.
She didn’t see Derrick again until the next morning when he asked her to help him straighten his tie. For some reason, Derrick could never tie his tie straight.
“Some things never change,” she stated, while working on his tie. She’d provided the exact same assistance for both his college and dental school graduations. How many more opportunities would she have to help him get dressed and coordinate his clothing? She didn’t know. She really loved picking out clothes for him and seeing a smile of appreciation on his face. Staci was suddenly overcome with a sadness that showed all over her face. Derrick recognized the look, but wrongfully assumed it was due to the funeral set to start in an hour.
“Everything is going to be all right, sweetheart. I know Mama is in a better place.”
Hearing the endearing term only made matters worse for her. “Derrick, let’s keep it real today. My name is Stacelyn, and I’m the one you walked out on four months ago. We are married in name only, and after today, you will be going back to wherever it is you live.”
“Staci, I meant—”
She held up her hand to stop him from speaking. “The limo’s here. We should be going.” On her way out, she quickly went over the instructions with the caterer. The repast would take place at the house following the burial.
When they stepped outside, Keisha was already in the limo. Staci sat opposite Derrick to allow Keisha some comfort from her big brother.
When they arrived at the church, Derrick refused to get out of the limo. Staci enlisted Keisha’s help in attempting to coax him out. When that didn’t work, Pastor Reggie sat inside and talked to him. She had no idea what her uncle said to Derrick, but whatever it was, it gave him the strength he needed to attend his mother’s funeral, but not without Staci on his arm.
Staci nearly missed a step as they walked up the stairs leading to the vestibule. At the landing stood Rhonda, adorned in a red suit with a matching red hat. With red being Miss Cora’s favorite color, the entire Garrison clan had dressed in red. Rhonda could have very easily been mistaken for a family member. Staci concluded that’s exactly what she had intended.
Rhonda offered condolences as the couple passed by. “Hello, Derrick. Sorry for your loss.” She didn’t address Staci.
Derrick paused, but Staci responded for him. “Thank you, Rhonda. Please make a notation in the guest book, indicating you’re an employee. Dr. Garrison and I will send out individual thank-you cards at a later date. Now, if you’ll excuse us.” Staci brushed past Rhonda and Derrick followed.
For the entire ninety minutes of Cora Ann Garrison’s funeral service, Derrick kept physical contact with Staci. While listening to the choir sing, his hand rested on her leg. During expressions from family and friends, he placed his arm around her shoulder. When it was time for the final viewing, he held out his hand for her, then interlocked his fingers with Staci’s. She stood right beside him, stroking his back as he said good-bye to his mother. To Derrick’s surprise, so did Marcus and Brian. He didn’t have a chance to acknowledge them; he had to quickly turn to catch Keisha before she fell to the floor.
Through his shades, Staci could still see the pain etched on his face, but he didn’t cry. Instead, he played the strong role for his little sister, who was havi
ng a hard time letting go. Staci did hear a couple of sniffles coming from him, though, and felt the tenseness of his body.
When it was time for the funeral director to lock the bronze casket, Derrick turned his head so he wouldn’t have to watch. He did the same thing at the cemetery. He couldn’t stand to see his mother being lowered into the earth. It wasn’t until he was back at the house and in the privacy of the guest room did he allow himself to break down. Staci heard his sobs when she walked past his door, but she didn’t intrude. Derrick wouldn’t have wanted that, so she thought.
When Derrick finally joined his family and friends outside on the lanai, Staci thought he looked like he had been run over by a truck, and then dragged down the street. Her heart instantly went out to him, and oddly enough, she wanted to take him upstairs to the confines of the master bedroom suite and comfort him. She watched him quietly take a seat next to Keisha, who shared a story with the Simones about their mother.
“Thank you,” he said, after accepting the bottle of water from Staci. She remained beside him, playing with his curls.
Later, when he was alone, Carey approached him. Derrick hadn’t spoken to his father-in-law in months, but he couldn’t avoid him any longer. He owed him an apology for breaking his word to him. Derrick also needed to thank Carey for supporting him in his time of loss.
“Hello, Dad. Thanks for coming.” He extended his hand, but Carey ignored it.
“Derrick, I thought we got past the handshake a long time ago.” The Simones had a tradition of greeting family with a hug.
“We did.” Derrick paused. “I just thought that since things are the way they are . . .”
“You mean since you broke your promise and walked out on my daughter?” Carey clarified for him.
Derrick swallowed hard. “Yes.”
“Derrick, I’m not going to butt into your marriage. I don’t like what you did, but the fact remains my baby girl loves you, and I know you love her. There’s no need in me going off on you because eventually, the two of you will reconcile, and I’ll still be mad. So, I’m praying for the two of you to work things out quickly, because I’m tired of seeing my baby girl’s sad eyes, and I don’t like seeing you so miserable either.”
Derrick was so overwhelmed by Carey’s show of support that he embraced his father-in-law before he realized what he was doing.
Staci watched from a distance with tears in her eyes. It was then that she recognized Derrick’s need for a real father figure. Maybe he was doing the best he could with me, she thought.
“Now I’m speaking. Are you listening?”
“Not now,” Staci grunted back at the voice.
“You still love him, don’t you?” her mother asked and interrupted her thoughts.
“It doesn’t matter, Mama. Things will never be the same again.”
“Maybe things will be better,” Alaina commented. “Have you considered that?”
Staci felt the vibration of her cell phone at her waist. “Maybe I don’t want things to be better with him.” Staci read the number, then walked inside the house through the patio door to answer Malcolm’s call.
“What took you so long to answer?” Malcolm questioned when Staci finally said hello.
“I was busy.”
“Doing what?” Malcolm sounded like he was interrogating her.
Staci stepped into the hall bathroom and closed the door. The last thing she needed was for someone to overhear her.
“Malcolm, I told you, today’s my mother-in-law’s funeral. Why am I explaining myself to you?”
“What does that have to do with you?”
“It has everything to do with me. I loved Miss Cora,” Staci defended.
“Or is it her son you love?”
Staci pulled the phone away from her ear. She felt the answer to that question wasn’t any of Malcolm’s business, but didn’t voice the words.
“Staci,” Malcolm called out when she didn’t respond.
“What did you call me for?” she finally said.
“I called to tell you that I miss you.” His voice was gentle and soothing again. “I was hoping we could hang out. Maybe catch a movie.”
Staci rolled her eyes as if he could see her. “Malcolm, I have a house full of grieving relatives, and you want me to catch a movie with you? Are you sure you’re smart enough to be a stockbroker?”
After a pregnant pause, Malcolm apologized. “I’m sorry if I came off the wrong way. It’s just that I’m worried about you. I know you have spent the past week tending to the needs of your family. I want to be the one who attends to your needs. I know you’re tired, and I thought you could use a break, that’s all.”
Lately Malcolm had a strange way of showing his concern for her, but at least he was concerned about her, unlike her husband.
“That’s nice of you, but I can’t leave.” Someone knocked on the door. “I have to go.” She ended the call and flushed the toilet, then turned the water on to give the illusion she had been using the restroom.
Staci opened the door and saw Derrick standing there and instantly felt guilty. The look in his eyes when he saw the cell phone in her hand told her he knew exactly what she had been doing.
“I’m going to drive Keisha to the airport.” Keisha’s new job only allowed her seven days of bereavement leave. “I’ll be back later. The caterer is looking for you,” he said, never addressing the issue of the phone conversation with Malcolm.
“Okay,” she said and started to walk past him, but he turned so that they were both stuck in the doorway, forcing her to look up at him.
“Derrick, will you move so I can get by?” She tried to sound irritated, but felt too ashamed to be effective.
“In a minute, but first there’s something I need to say to you.”
“What is it?” She looked away from him and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Being this close to him with no one else around made her uneasy.
Derrick moved in closer and turned her head back to his and stroked the side of her face. “Thank you for everything. I’m sorry to say, but as always, you have been better to me than I have been to you.” She took a step back, so that now she was leaning against the door frame. She both loved and hated his touch.
“Stacelyn,” he whispered softly and moved in even closer. “I love you so much.”
She opened her mouth to argue the point, but before she could get one word out, his lips were massaging hers ever so softly, just the way she liked it.
“No!” she tried to scream, but the words were trapped inside her head, along with the command telling her body to move away. She moaned faintly, and as if they had a mind of their own, her lips parted even more and fully welcomed him, holding him captive in one of the most passionate kisses they’d ever shared.
For a short while, Staci put the last year of her life out of her mind and enjoyed the feel of her husband holding her and kissing her, cherishing her. The longer they kissed, the more relaxed she felt. By their own accord, her hands traveled up his body and around his neck and began playing with his thick curls. Derrick deepened the kiss and Staci’s knees buckled. He steadied her by lifting her body to his and squeezing her tightly. If Keisha hadn’t interrupted them, there’s no telling what would have happened in that doorway.
The feel of Staci’s arms around him and the warmth of her mouth helped Derrick forget that she was just on the phone with the “other man.” Her response confirmed for him that she still wanted him and that there was hope for reconciliation.
“I’ll be right out,” Derrick said to Keisha, trying to steady his breath after his younger sister told him she would be waiting in the car for him.
“We’ll talk later,” he said to his wife after kissing her again, then slowly backing away from her.
Staci’s mind was so mixed up all she could do was nod. One question boggled her mind: How could he still have that effect on me after what he’s done? She knew the answer. She still loved him and always would. Hearing
him say the words she longed to hear for so long was all it took to make her temporarily forget about his shortcomings and enjoy his passion.
Staci splashed water on her face before she went looking for the caterer.
“Looks like the making up process has already started,” her mother said when she rejoined everyone on the patio.
“What are you talking about, Mama?”
Alaina smiled. “Your face is flushed, and Keisha told me she caught you guys making out in the bathroom.”
Staci shook her head. “Mama, it wasn’t all that.” She blushed.
“If you’d like, I can have Craig drive Keisha to the airport. Julia and I can tend to the guests, and Derrick can take you upstairs and make you scream.” Alaina caught the attention of several guests when she laughed out loud. “I’ll even turn the music up so no one can hear you,” she whispered.
For the first time in a long time, Staci laughed at the thought of Derrick making her scream. “Mama, just pray for us.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Staci realized praying for her marriage was something she hadn’t done in a long time, a very long time, not since hooking up with Malcolm. “God, please help us,” she softly, yet sincerely, prayed.
Chapter 30
With everyone gone and business settled with the caterer, an exhausted Staci headed upstairs to the serenity of her bedroom. While removing her earrings, her eyes fell on Miss Cora’s obituary that lay on her dresser. Staci had been so busy with making arrangements and supporting Derrick, she hadn’t had time to work through her own grief.
From day one, Miss Cora had been like a second mother to her. Even when Staci and Derrick began having problems, Miss Cora never blamed Staci for their problems. In fact, she always told her, “Baby, I know my son is off, but if you can hang in there with him until he works through his issues, he’ll make you a good husband.”
Staci removed her shoes and stretched across her bed and reflected on more of her conversations and interactions with her mother-in-law. Staci cried when she thought about how much she was going to miss her mother-in-law, then laughed out loud when she reminisced on the day Derrick accidentally slammed Miss Cora’s front door, and she came running out of the house waving a baseball bat at him.
Unresolved Issues Page 15