by L. C. Davis
She sighed, scribbling an address down on the back of a business card. She held it out but pulled it back when I reached for it. “I'm giving you this on good faith that you won't go alone.”
“I won't,” I said, standing to take the card. “You have my word.”
She watched me for a moment. “Good enough for me. Don't prove me wrong.”
“Thank you, Clara,” I said sincerely. “For everything.”
She waved me off. “You can thank me by decking him for me when you find him.”
I laughed. “I don't know if I can do that, but if he's hungover I'll try to be really loud.”
“That'll do,” she said before going back to her paperwork.
I left the infirmary with a solid lead burning a hole in my pocket. Maybe this didn't answer everything, but it explained enough for now. The front door beckoned, especially since there was no one around, but I reminded myself that if I fell back to my old ways now, I would have no moral ground to stand on when it came time to confront Victor.
The answer to what I had to do was obvious. That didn't mean I was getting out of the Lodge, though. I knocked on Ulric's door and entered once I heard him say to come in.
“Is it time for another round of interrogation already?” Ulric asked dryly, peering at me over his glasses.
“No, I've been pursuing other avenues of investigation,” I said, leaning against the door so I wouldn't get too comfortable. “I know where Victor is and I'd like permission to leave the Lodge.”
He took his reading glasses off and folded them to have a better look at me from afar. “You know where Victor is and you're here, asking me if you can leave?”
“That's what I'm supposed to do, isn't it?”
“Yes, but that's never been a factor before,” he snorted.
“I'm serious. If you say I can't go, I won't,” I said, struggling to sound nonchalant. “But I would like to make my case.”
“Alright, then,” he said, leaning back. “Go ahead.”
“I know what you've all been so secretive about,” I began.
He arched an eyebrow. “Do you now?”
“Yes, I know Victor is an addict and I know he's at the lunar temple, probably on an astral trip as we speak.”
He cleared his throat. “I see you've been talking to Clara.”
“The apology segued into other topics,” I admitted. “If you're going to take this out on anyone let it be me. I'm glad she told me.”
“As am I,” he said calmly. “Someone should have a long time ago.”
“I understand why it wasn't Victor,” I said. “That much is obvious. And I even understand why it wasn't Sebastian. He's covered for his brother his entire life, so it makes no sense as to why he would stop now, but you? Honestly, I don't understand how you could keep this from me. With everything that happened in my past, didn't you think that might be important for me to know when choosing a mate?”
“I know this is difficult for you to understand right now,” he said, rubbing his face wearily, “but your past is exactly why I didn't tell you. If it wasn't for the mark, I wouldn't even let you be alone in the same room with Victor. As I told you earlier, this whole mating business isn't logical. Addict or not, part of your soul is still presently bound to Victor. Anyway, it seemed that your appearance had changed him. It's obvious that was wishful thinking on my part.”
“A bit,” I conceded. “Look, I'm not saying it will change my decision, but I'd have at least liked to know.”
“Duly noted,” he said. “What are you hoping to accomplish by finding Victor, if he is where you think he is?”
I took a moment to consider my answer. “First, I want to scream at him for lying to me and making me worry. Second, I need to apologize to him for not being there for him the other night, because I don't think it would have gone this far if I had been. Mostly, I just need to see that he's okay or at least be there with him until he is.”
He considered my answer for a moment before nodding. “Alright. You can go, but I want you to take Sebastian with you.”
“Sebastian?” I shook my head. “Sebastian has had to clean up enough of his brother's messes. If anything, him being there is only going to make Victor worse. You must see how they enable each other.”
“Unless you have a better idea of who to send, that's my condition.”
I thought about it. “Clarence.”
He blinked. “I can't say that's who I thought would be your first choice.”
“He doesn't take anyone's bullshit, not even Victor's and definitely not mine,” I said matter-of-factly. “He'll keep us both in line. Besides, I think he's been trying to tip me off to Victor this whole time.”
He nodded reluctantly. “I trust Clarence. If you can convince him to go, fine. If not, Sebastian is the only other option.”
“Okay,” I said immediately, before he could change his mind. “Thanks, I'll go find him right now.”
Ulric sighed. “Just be careful.”
“I will,” I called, already out the door. Clarence, who was usually a fixture in the kitchen, out on the main balcony or in the library, was nowhere to be found. Hunter was seated at one of the study tables in the library with no less than half a dozen books spread out in front of him.
“There you are!” he said, shooting up from his chair. “You haven't answered any of my texts.”
“Sorry, I haven't had my phone,” I said. It was partly true, but I still felt guilty. “Have you seen Clarence?”
“Not since this morning. He asked me if I wanted to go into town with him earlier, so that's probably where he is,” he said.
“Oh,” I said, shoulders slumped.
He frowned. “Is everything okay? Maybe I can help.”
“Thanks, but it's something only he can do.” Well, not only him, but Hunter didn't need to know that and no way was Ulric going to approve him as a chaperone after our last great escape.
“Is it urgent? I could call him,” he said, taking out his phone.
“No, no. Don't bother him,” I said. “It's fine, I'll just ask him when he gets back.” I glanced curiously at the books on the table. “Hitting the books pretty hard, huh?”
“Always,” he grinned, sitting back down. “I've gotta be ready if I'm gonna pull this one off.”
“This one?” I asked.
He looked at me funny. “Yeah, your dad and Vic gave me approval to start working on a large-scale version of the ritual. If it works, it'll protect the entire territory, not just the Lodge. Does no one tell you anything?”
“Apparently not,” I said, flopping into the chair across from him with an exasperated sigh. “Now that you mention it, I think Victor said something about it but they all act like the only thing I'm capable of focusing on is romance ever since this whole arranged marriage thing started.”
“Well, it is pretty important,” he said. “We can't stop the hunters permanently without the hybrid and you can't become the hybrid until you figure out which one of them is really your mate.”
I glared at him. “Traitor.”
He laughed. “I know I'm a hypocrite, but it's not like breaking off my engagement had the potential to affect the entire species. As for my pack, well, it doesn't even exist anymore.”
“I'm sorry,” I murmured. “I've been so caught up in all this we haven't even talked. How are you doing?”
He shrugged. “I'm okay.”
I gave him a look. “No one would be okay after what you've been through.”
“Okay, so I'm not okay. Okay isn't even on the horizon right now and I'm fighting off the stages of grief like coliseum lions, but I've got work to do and people to keep me distracted. And then there's the promise of revenge, which is pretty much keeping me alive. For now, it's a good okay substitute.”
I nodded slowly, smiling a little at his words. It clicked in that moment how serious all this was. It was hard to take the courtship seriously at times, mostly because it involved my two best friends, but Hunter'
s words drove home the point that Ulric had been trying to make for a long while. This decision—my decision—would have very lasting consequences for other people. For the pack, for the brother who wasn't my destined mate, even for Hunter's revenge. The idea of making a decision I could live with was one thing. The realization that I had to make a decision everyone else could live with was almost crushing.
“You okay?” he asked. “You look a little pale.”
I swallowed hard, standing. “Uh, yeah. I'm fine, I just need to get some fresh air. Do me a favor and tell Clarence to call me if you see him before five, okay?”
“Sure, but what happens at five?”
“I need an escort to the lunar temple,” I admitted. “It's complicated and I can't really explain why I'm going, but I'm hoping Clarence can be the one to take me.”
“You had me at complicated,” he said, fishing into his pocket. “Can you do me a favor while you're there and give something to the priest?”
“Sure,” I said, eying the folded piece of paper he pulled out of his pocket.
“It's a list of ingredients I need for the ritual,” he said, handing it to me.
I looked down the list and realized I didn't recognize most of the herbs. At least, it seemed like they were herbs. Aconitum was at the top and I couldn't help but frown. There was a symbol at the bottom that looked similar to the style of sigil that Hunter had drawn on the threshold but it was slightly different.
“What's this drawing, if you don't mind my asking?”
“Oh, it's a sigil I found in the grimoire I pulled the ritual from,” he said. “I'm usually pretty good at making them out. Demons, angels, wraiths, they all follow some sort of model. At first I thought it was just a variation of the hunter sigil, but I'm hoping the priest can tell me for sure.”
“I'll be sure he gets this,” I said. “You need me to bring back the ingredients, right?”
“If it's not too much trouble.”
“Not at all, but I'm not sure how long I'll be there,” I admitted. “When do you need them?”
“Anytime is fine,” he said. “I really appreciate it.”
“No problem,” I said. “Just glad I can do something useful.”
He gave me an impish grin. “Not as useful as what you did for Sebastian.”
I groaned, leaning on the door. “People are still talking about that, aren't they?”
“Oh, yeah.”
I sighed. “Perfect. Well, let me know if Clarence shows.”
“Will do. I'll make sure he doesn't text,” he said pointedly. “I know you won't get it.”
“Sorry,” I said, slinking through the door apologetically. The twinkle in his eyes told me all was forgiven as he went back to his books. I went to my room to pack a small overnight bag and opened my bedside table drawer to collect my charger and phone. I flopped on the bed and started to delete the message notifications that were triggering a panic attack every time I looked at my phone.
Now that I had spoken to Hunter, I could delete his messages. Maverick had texted me recently, but it was only to ask if I thought Victor's absence would affect Steven's belated memorial service in a couple of weeks. As always, he prefaced every message with, “I'm sorry to bother you.” My heart clenched and I responded immediately.
You never bother me, Mav. Vic will be back in time for the service, I promise. He wouldn't miss it for anything. Love, Remus.
My thumb hovered over the send button for a moment as I wondered whether that was a promise I could keep. The Victor I knew would never let a member of his pack down, especially not when it came to something so important. Unfortunately, as I was beginning to realize, the Victor I knew was not the only one there was.
I hit send anyway. Victor would be there one way or another. If he had managed to sober up once, he could do it again. I could only hope we had caught him early enough into his relapse. If covering for him until he was back to his old self was what it took, so be it. The pack needed the Victor they could rely on, whether he was an illusion or not.
I scrolled down through my other message threads. There was nothing else new, but maybe I could delete some. The latest conversation thread with Arthur seemed ready for pruning, but I hesitated. What if there had been some cryptic bit of information I had missed? Not that I had the strength to look for it today, but deleting the thread seemed irresponsible.
Victor's thread was next. He hadn't texted me in a long time. In fact, I couldn't recall him ever texting me. Curious, I scrolled through the thread. It was from when he'd been gone with Ulric, responding to the attack on Hunter's family. He called me love a lot, and I was even more uncharacteristically affectionate towards him.
My head throbbed and my vision blurred as I strained to keep reading. Why was I telling him I loved him? None of it made any sense. Was this another one of my weird memory glitches? Sure, we had always had chemistry, but this was the first time I had even been open to exploring it. Why had I been talking to Victor like that? Someone else must have taken my phone to send those messages, but that didn't explain Victor's responses.
My mind felt like freshly harvested soil. It was smooth on the surface where the dirt had filled in, but there were holes deep inside like something had been uprooted.
The sound of a door slamming down the hallway caused my door to tremble. Without meaning to, my thumb slipped and I deleted the entire thread. Shit.
I dropped the phone on my bed and ran to investigate, momentarily distracted from my inexplicable discovery. There was only one person who could slam a door on the other side of the house hard enough to make that much noise.
“Sebastian, get back here,” Ulric growled, more commanding than I'd ever heard him.
I paused around the corner and quieted my breathing to listen. “Why the hell should I?” he growled. “You can't get in my head, remember? Must be frustrating to you both, knowing there's someone you can't just fix whenever his free will gets inconvenient,” he spat bitterly.
“That's hardly fair. This wasn't my idea.”
“No, but you've had a dozen chances to make it right and you haven't,” he growled. “Instead you just sit around while he screws with their heads like they're all just a bunch of pawns in your stupid fucking nerd horse game! I don't even know which is worse.”
Ulric was silent for a moment. “Do you mean chess?”
The sound of a wall caving under Sebastian's fist made me wince. “Goddammit, Ulric! I'm not fucking around!”
My heart pounded. Sure, Sebastian and Ulric butted heads often enough, but never like this. Whatever it was, they were both furious and I had no idea whose side to be on.
“You should be happy about this,” said Ulric, lowering his voice. “It does give you the opportunity you've always wanted.”
“Not like this,” said Sebastian, his words dripping with disgust.
“You're hardly one to talk. I seem to recall you coming to the rescue at the expense of respecting his judgment on more than one occasion.”
I gulped. If there had been any doubt that they were fighting about me, it was gone now.
“It's my job to protect him from real, physical danger and if that means being the bad guy once in awhile, fine. I can take it. He can hate me all he wants as long as he's alive to do it,” he said, stomping closer. I braced for the sound of a fight that never came. “This is different and you know it, old man.”
My hand clamped over my mouth to stifle a small gasp. No one, not even Sebastian, had ever directly disrespected Ulric. Teasing was one thing, but there wasn't a hint of jest in his words. No offense I could ever imagine the alpha committing could justify such a breach in that unspoken rule.
Even more surprisingly, Ulric didn't scream or shout or drive Sebastian from the pack. Instead, he sighed heavily. “You're right, but it's no use now. By the time Clarence alerted me to the issue, it became clear that the damage was done and the only good that can be extracted from the situation is to allow it to play out until we have a
n answer. There's no reason to put him through all this for nothing.”
“It still ain't right and I'm not gonna cover for you,” Sebastian growled. He sounded at least as surprised as I was that he wasn't facing hellfire and wrath for his insubordination.
“I understand,” said Ulric. “All I'm asking is that you come into my study and allow me to explain my perspective. If you still want to tell him, I won't stop you.”
There was a moment's hesitation before Sebastian made a rough grunting sound that I could only assume was agreement. A moment later, the door to the study closed and I slumped against the wall.
What was going on in the Lodge? Things were supposed to be clear now that my mind was whole and my body was healed. Instead, I was more confused than ever. How was I supposed to decipher which of the brothers my heart wanted when I couldn't even figure out which one I could trust?
There was only one hope I had of ever learning the truth, and he had just walked into a room for an intimate meeting with the person who seemed to be at the very heart of the deception. I returned to my room and immediately sent Hunter a text message.
“Never mind about getting a ride to the temple. Sebastian is taking me. I'll let you know when we have your stuff.”
Now all there was left to do was wait and pray that the continually expanding web of lies around me ended with Sebastian, the one person who had never lied to me. Only time would tell if he was as deserving of that title as I hoped.
27
Sebastian had been eager enough to take me to the temple. Ulric must have told him about the trip at some point during their argument. Nonetheless, he hadn't said a word since we had hit the road save for asking me if I wanted the air on or the windows down. I couldn't help but feel that he was blasting an old cassette tape as an excuse not to talk to me. The fact that he hadn't looked at me once for the thirty minutes we had been on the road made it obvious that Ulric had gotten to him, too.
“Aren't you going to ask me why I need a ride to the temple?” I asked, deciding to at least give him a chance to come clean.